Maybe he liked her a lot. Zac said he never gave women much attention. He hadn"t paid her much attention in the beginning. He had lately. Did the second kiss mean he was in love with her?
More important, was she in love with him?
The question nearly threw Daisy into a state of shock because she didn"t know the answer. Her feelings for Tyler had changed in the last couple of days. She had finally figured out that underneath all that unemotional exterior, he was a kind, thoughtful, gentle person. She had come to like him very much.
Then there was the effect his nearness had on her body. He aroused some primal instincts that were beyond her brain"s control, instincts that knew intuitively what she didn"t. She distrusted these feelings, yet she couldn"t wait to experience them again.
Daisy fell back on her bed. This was insane. She was trying her best to fall in love with precisely the kind of man she had sworn to avoid. Worse still, he might be falling in love with her. She groaned. That was the kind of thing he might do, but she was too sensible.
But even as she told herself she could never do anything so stupid as waste her few hopes on empty dreams, she thought of the kiss, the strength of his embrace, the feeling of security she felt when she was around him.
She told herself it was false security. He could protect her from cougars and killers, but he"d never provide a decent life for her unless she wanted to live in a mountain cabin and eat venison.
Tyler stared at the book with unseeing eyes. He could deny it no longer. His attraction to Daisy was more than physical. He had suspected it, but until this morning he had kept coming up with reasons why it couldn"t be so. Terror like he"d never known before had filled his heart when he saw the cougar running her down. Even now the thought of what might have happened had to power to cause his stomach to bunch and cramp.
Was he in love with her?
No, but he"d been a stranger to emotion of any kind for so long he didn"t know what it would feel like to be in love. If what he had experienced so far was any example, he didn"t like it. He remembered Rose"s glowing happiness, George walking around like somebody had just given him a million cows.
He didn"t feel like that. He felt miserable. He wanted to throttle Zac, take Daisy to the Cochranes, all the way to Santa Fe if necessary, bury himself in the hills, and pretend these last few days had never happened.
Willie would say he"d been in the mountains too long. He said prospecting was for old men who"d forgotten what to do with a woman. He believed Tyler would never find gold because he couldn"t get his mind off the women who waited for him in town. Tyler could never convince Willie he didn"t think of those women until he was actually in their presence. He forgot about them as quickly.
It wasn"t like that with Daisy. He couldn"t get her out of his mind. He looked at the curtain stretched across the end of the room and wondered if she was thinking of him. Had the kiss affected her as it had him? She hadn"t said anything. He was afraid she"d paid more attention to the noise Zac was making on the roof.
But it hadn"t left her completely unaffected. She"d looked stunned. Maybe she hadn"t known what to say.
What would he have wanted her to say?
Knowing she had gone after the deer because of him had thrown him off his feet as neatly as a calf roped for branding. An unexpected feeling of warmth and happiness had flooded through him, all directed toward Daisy. He felt like laughing at himself. How did you tell a woman you kissed her before you"d had time to think, and having had time, you didn"t know why you"d done it? She"d probably slap him.
What was he going to do when she came from behind the curtain? He couldn"t go on acting like nothing had happened. Something had changed. But he wasn"t ready to deal with it. He had to have time to figure out just what it was, then decide what he wanted to do about it.
He sighed. This wasn"t a good time to have something like this happen. It looked like the weather was going to stay clear. With the snow melting steadily, he would be able to take Daisy down the mountain in a couple of days, then get back to his prospecting. That would leave a whole lot of questions unanswered.
Daisy eyed Tyler across the table. He met her gaze, but his eyes were empty of any message. He looked away, and she sighed and settled back in her chair. Zac was equally silent. This was the way things had been since Tyler locked Zac out yesterday morning, since he had kissed her.
She knew there was a lot that ought to be said, but she didn"t know where to begin. The tension was so great she hesitated to break the silence. Something had to give soon.
"I"m going hunting," Tyler announced, getting up from the table. "We"re out of meat."
Daisy looked up but said nothing. Zac didn"t look up.
"You"re both to stay inside," Tyler said.
"But the cougar"s dead," Daisy said.
"The killers are still out there."
Daisy decided to stay inside. Something happened every time she went out. "I"ll clean up," she offered, glad to do anything she could to ease the tension.
Tyler didn"t say anything until he was ready to go out. "I may be gone all day."
Zac made no response. Daisy decided to do the same.
The cabin felt empty without Tyler. There was a vitality about him Zac lacked. He sat hunched over his cards while Daisy started clearing away.
Daisy wondered if it was because Tyler was older. He was definitely the one in control. She glanced out the window, caught a glimpse of him as he disappeared into the trees. It would scare her to death to set out into the woods alone, not knowing what might be hiding behind the next tree. Yet he acted like he was doing nothing more dangerous than walking next door.
She picked up Zac"s plate. He gave no sign he noticed.
She knew the snow would soon melt enough for Tyler to take her down the mountain. She would be glad to leave. She needed to get her emotions under control. She couldn"t go on feeling this way about him. She didn"t want to. But she was afraid she couldn"t do anything about it as long as they were in the same cabin. Thank goodness Zac was here. Even sulking, he was a buffer between them.
"I have stood his mistreatment long enough!" Zac announced suddenly. "And I"m fed up with sitting on this mountain, freezing and eating deer meat." He got to his feet and walked over to the shelves. He took down a canister, opened it, and took out a wad of bills.
"What are you doing?" Daisy asked.
"I"m leaving. I"ve been bossed around long enough."
"I mean what are you doing with that money? Isn"t it Tyler"s?" She didn"t know how Tyler could have so much money, but it made sense it would belong to him rather than Zac.
"He won"t need it," Zac answered.
"What are you going to do?"
"I"m going to New Orleans. I"ve wanted to go there all my life. I don"t see any reason why I should wait any longer."
"But you can"t do it by stealing Tyler"s money."
"It was bad enough when he blamed me for everything that went wrong around here, but he had no business locking me outside."
"He was upset about the cougar. He was planning to let you in."
"It doesn"t matter. I don"t care any more," Zac said. He laid the money on the table and started to gather up his belongings.
He was really planing to leave. And he was planning to take all of Tyler"s money.
"You won"t need that much money to get to New Orleans," Daisy said. She continued clearing up, but she was waiting for Zac to turn his back. "How will Tyler buy his supplies?"
"George will give him more."
"Why don"t you ask George for money?"
Zac turned his back and Daisy edged closer to the table.
"George wouldn"t give me a red dime."
"Why not?"
"Because I left school. He"ll be angry with me, but he"ll feel sorry for Tyler."
Zac turned just in time to s.n.a.t.c.h the money before Daisy"s fingers could close around it.
"It"s not yours," Daisy said. "You have no right to it." She made a grab for it, but Zac stuffed it in his pocket.
"I"ll pay it back."
"You still have no right to take it."
"You can tell Tyler it"s his own fault for the way he treated me."
"It"s not," Daisy contradicted. "It"s because you have no character." She didn"t like the look in Zac"s eyes, but she didn"t back down. "What kind of person would take his brother"s money? Don"t think you can scare me by glaring at me like that," she said, hoping she wasn"t going too far. "You may be a thief and a brat, but you"re not a woman beater."
For a moment Daisy was afraid the question hung in the balance. Then Zac suddenly smiled.
"I have a better punishment for you."
"What?" Daisy asked nervously.
"Leaving you two here together. You deserve each other."
"What do you mean?"
"You"re crazy about Tyler. I"ve known it for days. And he"s goofy over you."
"He"s not."
"He doesn"t know it yet, but he is." Zac said, gathering up the last of his belongings. "I make you a present of each other." With that he slammed out the door.
Daisy watched helplessly as Zac went into the shed and reappeared moments later leading one of the mules. She ought to stop him, but short of using a gun, she didn"t know how she could.
She sank into a chair. Could what he said be true? Could she really love Tyler?
But she already knew the answer. She had come upon it sometime during the night. It didn"t matter that it was stupid or that she was so mad at herself she didn"t know what to do. She loved Tyler, and that was that.
She didn"t know if he loved her -- she doubted it -- but that wasn"t her problem. She had to figure out how to teach herself not to love Tyler. Loving him would ruin her life.
She was still sitting at the table when Tyler returned with a deer. She looked up and knew instantly Zac was right.
"Zac stole your money and left for New Orleans," she said, wondering what else could go wrong with her life. "He took one of the mules, too."
Chapter Fourteen.
Tyler had shown no discernable reaction to her news. "Did you get anything to eat?" he had asked. She had shaken her head. Without saying anything more, he had started dinner. They ate in silence that remained unbroken until they cleared away the dishes. By then Daisy had ceased to have any interest in Zac"s departure.
"I want to take this bandage off my head," she said.
"I don"t think--"
"I"m tired of looking like a freak. I want to wash my hair. I feel like my scalp is crawling." She paused. "I"ll probably have to cut it, too." She wondered if he remembered he had said he"d wash it for her.
"I"ll heat the water," Tyler said. In minutes he had the stove covered with pots.
"I just want to wash my hair," Daisy said.
"You"ll need a bath afterwards."
She hadn"t wanted to ask him, but she wanted a bath very badly. She helped fill the buckets. It was easier this time since they were able to get water from the stream.
"Sit down," Tyler said when he was ready to remove the bandage.
Daisy had been having nightmares about her looks. At the same time she was glad he had no mirror to show her what she looked like.
Tyler removed the bandage. "It"s still a little red," he said, "but I think it"s safe to wash your hair. I"ll cut it."
Daisy wasn"t sure about this. No one had cut her hair except to trim the ends, but it was probably best to let Tyler do it while she couldn"t see the results.
"Don"t cut any more than you have to."
"I won"t."
Daisy was relieved when the first singed ends. .h.i.t the floor. She had had an uncomfortable feeling Tyler was cutting too high on her head, but the pieces that fell were short.
When a foot-long strand hit the floor, she leapt out of the chair. "I"ll look like a boy," she cried, staring at the fatal lock of hair.
"Your hair will still be down to your shoulders," Tyler a.s.sured her.
"But that"s too short."
Tyler took her by the shoulders and gently guided her back to the chair. "It"ll grow out. In the meantime, you can wear it in a knot."
"Unmarried women don"t wear buns," Daisy said.
"Then you can wear a bonnet."
"That"s for old women."