"Yes, but he didn"t come back because of me."
"Maybe he"s just shy."
"Tyler never had any trouble saying what he wanted to say. Most of the time that was nothing. I guess it still is."
"And you love him?"
"Stupid isn"t it, but I can"t help it."
"Why?"
"For a lot of reasons you"ll probably think very silly. He"s the first man who ever made me feel pet.i.te."
"Guy said he was very tall."
"It isn"t that. He simply isn"t aware that there"s anything different about me. He thinks I"m pretty, doesn"t mind my freckles, prefers my hair short, and he was burning to make love to me."
"You didn"t--"
"No, but now I wish I had. Does that shock you? It shocks me, but no one has ever kissed me like he did."
"How was that?" Adora asked, shock fading in the face of rampant curiosity.
"I had dreamed of being kissed by the man I loved, but it was nothing like this. He was out of control. It happened too fast. When he took me in his arms, I felt powerless to stop him. He pressed me to him until my entire body threatened to explode from the heat of him.
"Then he kissed me, and I could hardly believe such a powerful sensation could be produced merely by touching a man"s lips. His mouth was hard and demanding. I felt as though the energy had drained out of me. I felt owned, possessed. But he kept demanding more and more until I couldn"t do anything but give in to him."
"Give in to him?" Adora repeated, breathless.
"His tongue thrust its way into my mouth and fire shot all through me. I felt he had invaded me, was searching out all of me and making it his own. I felt like I had been released from a coc.o.o.n, suddenly transformed, freed to meld with him.
"Then he broke off, and I feared I would collapse. If he hadn"t held on to me, I would."
Adora stared at Daisy, her eyes wide with amazement.
"A kiss like that can"t happen with a man who only admires you or who will wait respectfully to make you his own," Daisy said. "Only a man who must have you despite all the rules of society, despite his own sense of honor, despite your objections can make you feel that way."
"But you said--"
"I said almost, but part of the excitement is the danger, not knowing for sure."
"You were never like this before."
"Don"t I sound foolish? Daddy would have locked me in my room until I was over it. That"s why I can"t marry Guy. He would expect a quiet dutiful wife. He"d never understand."
"What are you going to do about Tyler?"
"Nothing."
"If you love him, you must do something. You can"t just let him ruin your life."
"I have no life to ruin, but I"m going to make one. I"m going to run my ranch. Tyler said I could do anything I made up my mind to do."
"And you believe him?"
"I have to. Believing him means believing in myself."
"But you"ll be by yourself."
"I know."
"I could never do anything like that. I"d be too afraid."
"I"m petrified," Daisy admitted.
"You really do love him, don"t you?"
Daisy nodded.
"Then he"ll come back for you. If you love him that much, he can"t do anything else."
But Daisy wouldn"t let herself hope. She didn"t think she could stand to be disappointed again.
"You told her you came back to learn how to run a hotel?" Laurel stared at Tyler like he was a certified fool.
"What was I supposed to tell her?"
"Anything but that. I"m surprised she didn"t slap you then and there."
"I warned her about the killer."
"Do you love her?"
The question startled Tyler into silence.
"Don"t tell me you haven"t thought about it. She has. She"s in love with you, you know."
"How . . . " Tyler was unable to finish the sentence.
"I could tell by looking at her, by the way she talked about you. She was in love with you the night you brought her here."
Tyler didn"t know what to say. He just stood there like a huge wooden carving.
"I don"t know why men have to be so stupid about these things," Laurel complained. "It makes it so much harder on women." She gave Hen a severe look. "Randolph men seem to be particularly hard headed."
"But we do finally learn," her husband said.
Laurel"s sternness melted. "You did, but I don"t know about your brother." She turned back to Tyler. "Do you love her? You"re got to decide. You can"t leave her wondering. She deserves to know, to be able to forget you, to make room for someone else."
This whole conversation had moved too fast for Tyler. He thought he had known why he came back, but after the encounter in the lobby, he wasn"t sure. After Guy announced their engagement, there seemed no point in trying to make sure.
"It doesn"t matter. Guy Cochrane said they were going to announce their engagement in a few days."
"She"s still in love with you."
"Then why is she marrying Cochrane?"
"I can"t answer that, but I imagine she will if you ask her."
Because Cochrane was rich. Because it was the easy thing to do. Because she was afraid to be on her own. Because marrying someone else was the easiest way to forget him. "She"s made her decision. Nothing I do matters at this point."
"It does if you love her."
"I could never love a woman who would consider marrying another man."
"Then you don"t love her," Laurel said angrily. "If you did, you"d go after her, beg her to change her mind, to give you one last chance. You wouldn"t care about anything she did or thought of doing, only if she loved you."
The idea of being reduced to such a cringing, groveling condition appalled Tyler. No woman -- not even his hotels -- was worth such a loss of pride. If this was Laurel"s idea of being in love, he was glad it hadn"t happened to him. He couldn"t understand how it could have happened to Hen.
"It"s pointless to discuss it," he said, stiffly. "I"ll be going back tomorrow. I"m glad to see you and the baby are well. How much longer will you be here?"
"A couple more weeks," Hen said. "I want to make certain Laurel is strong enough before we begin the trip."
"I won"t be unless you let me up for more than a few minutes at a time," Laurel told her husband. "It"ll take me weeks to learn to walk again."
"I"ll carry you wherever you want to go."
Tyler quickly excused himself. He felt uncomfortable in the face of Hen"s devotion to his wife. It made him feel Hen had somehow lost control. That was something Tyler feared. He couldn"t control the world around him, but he could control himself. Ever since that day in the hay barn when his father found him crying, it had been the only constant in his life. He had jealously guarded it, had built a wall around it nothing could penetrate. He had clung to it all through the last years in Virginia, the move to Texas, his mother"s death and his father"s desertion, the terror of the years before George came home.
Now Laurel was telling him he must tear it down, become vulnerable to all the emotions that had almost destroyed him. He couldn"t do that.
He"d be useless if he fell in love with Daisy the way Laurel thought he ought. He wouldn"t be able to work. Everybody would pity him and try to take advantage of him. n.o.body would be able to depend on him because he wouldn"t be in control of his own life.
But he was perilously close to that now. He had left his claim on the verge of making a strike. Even though he knew Daisy was about to marry another man, he hadn"t left town. Even worse, he was considering staying still longer. He couldn"t go to Daisy and plead with her not to marry Cochrane, but he couldn"t leave as long as she was unmarried. Until she became Guy"s wife, there was always a chance.
So he was in love, just as deeply and foolishly as Laurel could have wished. Only he didn"t feel good about it. He wondered if Daisy felt any better.
Tyler cursed himself for a thousand kinds of a fool. He told himself he ought to turn around and get back to the hotel as fast as he could. He told himself he should have left for the mountains the minute Guy told him of their engagement. He told himself he was the biggest fool in New Mexico. Despite all this, he didn"t slow down. Neither did he hesitate when he reached the Cochrane house.
He had heard Regis Cochrane was the most respected man in town. And the most feared. He"d also heard Guy would do anything his father wanted. He couldn"t rest easy as long as people like that had any control over Daisy. He had to know why she hadn"t been to the hotel in the last two days.
No one was home but Adora. He was surprised by the pet.i.te, rather hesitant dark-skinned brunette who entered the parlor. She seemed an unlikely friend for Daisy. They were such opposites.
"Dolores said you were asking after Daisy." Adora"s gaze was hostile.
"She hasn"t visited my sister-in-law in two days. I was worried about her."
"Did your sister-in-law ask you to make this inquiry?"
Tyler felt no matter what he answered, he would be guilty. "Naturally she"s concerned. We all are."
"Then I"ll be happy to send her a note explaining Daisy"s absence."
"Wouldn"t it be easier to tell me, since I"m already here?"
"I"m not sure Daisy would want you to know."
Tyler was perplexed. He had been prepared for unfriendliness but not animosity. "I don"t understand."
"I didn"t think you would. You don"t seem to understand anything."
Tyler was beginning to get a little angry. He was tired of being blamed for difficulties that were not of his making.
"I might, if you would be so kind as to explain what you mean."
"I don"t think you deserve an explanation."
"Daisy"s the only one who can make that decision. Since she"s not here, and apparently hasn"t asked you to withhold the information, I think you should tell me."
Adora made a couple of pa.s.ses across the end of the room, leveled a particularly angry glare at him, started her perambulations again. She whirled. "You realize you"ve ruined her life as well as my brother"s. She"s broken her engagement and gone off to live on that ranch."
"But she has no house to live in."
"I pointed that out, but it made no difference. It seems you told her she could do anything she wanted, and she"s gone off to prove it."
"Why should she do that?"
"Because she"s in love with you, you fool! Can"t you see that? Though I can"t see why she should prefer you to my brother. Why couldn"t you have stayed in those mountains? If you had, she would have married Guy and tried to be happy. But you had to come back to Albuquerque. She hoped you had come back because you loved her. She was devastated when she found out you were as hardhearted and unfeeling as ever."
Tyler felt like he"d just been knocked silly by a mule kick. Common sense told him Adora couldn"t be right -- he was beginning to wonder why everybody in Albuquerque should know Daisy"s feelings but himself -- but common sense had also told him to stay in the mountains. He ignored it then, and he meant to ignore it now.
"She says I"m a dreamer, a fool chasing gold. She says I try to dominate her, that she"d be an old maid before she married a man like me."
"She"s still in love with you."
"It doesn"t make sense."
"Daisy said love didn"t, that it was dangerous but that was part of the excitement."
"Do you know what she"s talking about?"
"Of course. Any woman would."
"Can you explain it to me?"