"You"re just being kind," Daisy said, not raising her head from his chest. "You know I"m homely. Now I look worse than ever."
Tyler pulled her arms from around him and held her away from him. He raised her chin when she refused to look up. "You"ll find somebody who loves you," he said.
"Not now." She twisted her chin from his grasp and brushed aside some of the hated hair that got in her face. That would never have happened before he cut it.
"Daisy, men don"t choose a wife because of her hair."
"You"ve never been a woman. You don"t know how men think."
"Tell me."
"As far as men are concerned, women come in types. There are the soiled doves, the women who"re so beautiful they"re worshiped for their looks no matter whether they"re good or bad, the women who are saintly, and all the rest. I come with all the rest."
"That"s absurd."
"I have no money, I"m not pretty, and I have no family. Now I"ve lost my hair. I"m worthless."
"That"s ridiculous. You--"
"I"ll probably end up marrying some ignorant man without an idea in his head. He"ll expect me to cook his meals, wash his clothes, keep his house, and let him father any number of children on me. He won"t listen to what I say, care what I want, or think I have any right to be treated decently. He"ll beat me when he"s angry and rape me when he"s drunk."
"No, he won"t."
"You don"t know anything about it. My father was like that. Except he wasn"t violent unless his will was crossed, and even then he didn"t strike us. But it never occurred to him we might want something else or be able to provide an answer when he couldn"t."
"You don"t understand," she told him, trying to control herself. "Your entire existence doesn"t depend on the whim of some man. You can do as you please."
"Even men have limits."
"Not like women. It would be impossible for me to live up here like you do. n.o.body would think I was an honest woman."
"I think you are."
"That"s just like you," she said, exasperated. "You never can face reality. People won"t take something like that on faith."
"I defy anybody to insult you."
He really was adorable. It was a shame he was such an idiot. "There you go again, ignoring reality. You"d be the last person to be able to establish my innocence."
"I"m the only one who really knows."
Daisy became aware she was being clasped to Tyler"s naked chest. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn"t let her. She couldn"t tell whether it was her hair or the hair on his chest, but something tickled her nose. Moving her head only made her more aware her cheek was against his soft, warm skin.
Swiftly her entire mood changed, and she found it quite easy to forget the tragedy of her hair. In fact, there was no room in her mind for anything but the man who held her in his embrace. She wanted to run and hide, to pretend he"d ever seen her at her worst. But she clung to him because having seen her at her worst, he had not rejected her.
All the love she had for him welled up in her heart, and she clung to him more tightly. He was the dearest man she knew. No one else would have cared for her, put up with her demands, endured her complaining and criticism, and still tell her she was pretty.
It was impossible not to love him. It was also impossible not to want him to kiss her, not to want him to hold her, to comfort her.
"You"ve got to learn to have more faith in the goodness and fairness of human nature," Tyler told her. "Most people are willing to believe the best if you only give the chance."
Daisy didn"t think they would, but Tyler did, and for that she would be forever grateful. Holding on to him seemed to surround her with his aura of trust. As long as he held her, she really was the woman he thought her to be.
Daisy held on tighter. It would soon be time to let go, but not now, not yet. Maybe if she stayed here long enough, she could come to believe in herself the way Tyler did.
Tyler tipped her head up and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. That definitely helped. Guy had kissed her once, but his kiss made her feel like his sister.
There was nothing brotherly about Tyler"s att.i.tude toward her, or about his kisses. He was making it plain he found Daisy quite desirable.
Daisy was wholly lacking experience in love, but she could tell when a man was aroused. The proof of Tyler"s desire burned against her abdomen. Yet he didn"t desire her merely for physical release. He said he found her pretty. He said he thought she was an admirable woman capable of doing just about anything she set her mind to. He said she was a woman whose company he enjoyed, whose presence was exciting.
Daisy"s resistance collapsed. There"d be nothing wrong with being held in his arms. No one had ever done that. She had come to doubt anyone ever would. Now that Tyler had, she couldn"t summon the will power to tell him to stop.
Pushed up against his chest, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s had become full and sensitive. Even the slightest movement sent enervating tongues of desire spiraling through her body. The last bit of resistance fled, and holding on to him with all the fervor of her newfound pa.s.sion, she sank into his arms.
Without warning, Tyler scooped her up and carried her over to her bed. He set her down, then dropped down beside her. He pulled her to him once more, kissed her forehead and eyelids. His hands seemed to roam all over her shoulders and back, setting her body into a frenzy of spiraling sensations.
Once more Tyler took her lips in a deep kiss. His hungry tongue forced its way into her mouth. The intimacy of it, the opening of herself to him, there were so many new things she couldn"t absorb at once. But she didn"t want to hold back, didn"t want to miss any part of this wonderful experience. Throwing caution to the winds, her tongue joined his in a sinuous dance that had Daisy nearly melting with the heat.
Tyler"s hand cupped her right breast. The shock caused Daisy to gasp, but Tyler did not release her lips. She knew she should tell him to stop. She knew she had already gone far enough, but he was tracing circles around her nipple through her clothes. The sensation was enough to dissolve her will power. It was more than enough to unleash a powerful desire from some well deep inside her. She wanted more.
She yielded to temptation.
Daisy let her head fall back so Tyler could kiss her neck and throat. The feel of his mouth on her skin curled her toes. She made no objection when he unb.u.t.toned her dress and slipped his hand inside. She was beyond objection when he unb.u.t.toned her chemise and cupped her breast with his naked hand.
She felt helpless, unable to resist.
Tyler lay her back on the bed, caressed the tops of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s with his hot lips. No one had ever touched her body. She had no idea that a mere touch could overwhelm all resistance, all caution, all reserve. Neither had she suspected the pleasure of his touch. It was so intense she thought she might faint. She didn"t care he was opening her dress and slipping it and her chemise off her shoulders. Every part of her consciousness focused on his other hand as it moved down her side, along her thigh, cupped her bottom, pulled her against him.
His body was so hot, so swollen with desire, she felt molten, on the verge of bursting into flame.
Tyler bent down and took one of her nipples into his mouth. Nothing could compare to this. Every nerve in her body flamed with aching sensitivity. Her body arched off the bed, pressed against him. When his hand covered her other breast and began to tease her nipple, she thought she would lose control completely.
But even as she felt herself on the verge of sinking into a mindless pool of pleasure, Daisy knew she must stop. She fought to regain control, but each time she slipped a little further into pa.s.sionate release. Try as she might, she couldn"t summon the will power to pull clear.
Until she felt Tyler"s hand move across her leg to the inside of her thigh. It was clear he intended to open every part of her body to his hunger.
Desperately reining in her numbed and scattered wits, Daisy realized she had allowed him to go too far. She had to stop him. If she didn"t, she"d never forgive herself. Once he found out, he"d never speak to her again.
"We"ve got to stop," she whispered, her voice a trembling thread. She tried to pull her dress back up.
"You"re driving me crazy," Tyler murmured into her shoulder as he tugged her dress farther down her body.
"Please, you must stop."
"There"s no reason," Tyler said. "You want me as much as I want you."
Daisy captured both of his hands in hers. "Yes, there is. I"m engaged."
Chapter Fifteen.
Tyler froze. "You"re what?" he demanded, his face only inches from her own.
Daisy knew she should have told him sooner. There had been any number of opportunities. It just never seemed to be the right thing to say.
"I"m engaged to marry to Guy Cochrane." She hated the look in Tyler eyes.
"The brother of your best friend?"
She nodded.
"And you let me kiss you," he said, stunned. "You almost let me--"
"I didn"t mean to do more than let you hold me," Daisy said. "I didn"t think that would be so terrible. But I liked it so much I didn"t stop you when I should have."
"Stop me when you should!" Tyler echoed, fury turning his eyes dark and hard. He backed away from her. "An honorable woman wouldn"t have even let me kiss her. She"d have slapped me for just thinking what I did."
That hurt more than the rest. "I"m sorry, I guess I don"t come up to your standards," Daisy said, close to tears. "It doesn"t matter. No one else seems to think I do either."
"Obviously Mr. Cochrane does, or he wouldn"t have asked you to marry him."
"I don"t know why he did," Daisy confessed, too distraught to be thinking of what she said. "I"m sure he doesn"t love me."
"Then why did you accept him?"
She couldn"t tell him she"d accepted Guy because she was certain she"d never get another offer. "Not all marriages are based on love," Daisy replied. "As a matter of fact, a feeling of affection is more than most women ever get. Many actually spend their entire life married to a man they despise."
"That"s absurd. No woman should do that."
"It"s clear you don"t know anything about being a woman. I was more fortunate than most."
"But not so fortunate you were willing to turn down a little fun before the vows were said."
"That"s not fair," Daisy cried. "I told you I didn"t mean to let things go so far. I was foolish." She struggled to keep the tears from her eyes. "Anyway, it doesn"t really matter. Guy won"t marry me looking like this. We"ve both gotten upset over nothing."
"That"s not the point," Tyler said. "As long as you"re engaged, you shouldn"t allow another man to touch you."
"Considering both you and your brother have spent the night in my bed, I doubt anyone would consider me untouched. I mean to release Guy from his promise the minute I see him."
"Why should you do that?"
"For the very reason you got so angry at me. I"ve spent a week locked away in a cabin with two men and no woman present to vouch for my virtue."
"It need never be known. We can think of something."
"I might as well have let you ruin me. Now go do something, cook or hunt or take care of your mules. I need to be alone."
She pushed him out of her corner and pulled the curtains closed. Then the tears started. She sank down on the bed. Why had she let Tyler go so far? She had never been the victim of her physical appet.i.tes. She hadn"t even known she had such appet.i.tes. Yet, she had wanted him to make love to her.
Why?
Because she loved him. She might think him the most impractical man on the face of the earth, but she had fallen in love with him precisely because he wouldn"t let his dreams be bounded by the limits of common sense. He had the guts to want, the courage to go after what he wanted despite what anybody else might think.
He had no doubts about himself. He was confident he would be able to do anything he put his mind to. He was everything she wanted to be and wasn"t. He had the strength she wished she had, the determination she lacked. He was not afraid to dream.
He would never have accepted Guy Cochrane"s offer.
But she hadn"t felt this way six months ago when Guy proposed. She had been relieved someone had finally offered to free her from her father"s tyranny. She might not be able to live in Philadelphia like her mother, but she would have a nice house, decent clothes, and a chance to go to parties. After the years of poverty and empty evenings, she had been looking forward to it.
And she liked Guy. He was very attractive and a gentleman. She expected they would have a pleasant life together. She hadn"t worried that his attentions were few and perfunctory. Her mother had taught her that proper men and women were careful to restrain their feelings for each other before marriage and afterwards in public. The kind of kisses she had shared with Tyler would have been enjoyed only in the privacy of their bed chamber, or not at all if she behaved according to conventional rules.
But then someone had killed her father, she had ended up with Tyler, and everything had come unraveled. Her reputation was ruined. She hadn"t let herself think about it before, but after what had almost happened tonight, she had to face facts. Guy would break off their engagement. She couldn"t expect him to do anything else.
But it hardly mattered. Tyler had made her thoroughly dissatisfied with any relationship she and Guy might have been able to forge. She felt the tears run down her cheeks. The only logical thing left for her to do was marry Zac or Tyler, but she wouldn"t marry either. She didn"t love Zac, and even though she did love Tyler, she refused to spend the rest of her life in a mountain cabin waiting for him to find gold that wasn"t there.
She didn"t know what she was going to do, but there had to be some other way. Tyler had said she could do anything she wanted, but she didn"t know how to do anything except cook, take care of a house, and read books. Maybe she"d get a job as a housekeeper. She wouldn"t starve, and she wouldn"t have to marry some man she didn"t care for.
The tears flowed faster.
It didn"t do any good to hope Tyler might change, that he might settle down and get a real job. He didn"t love her. He had never pretended he did. He might say he liked her. He might say he thought she was attractive, but he would feel differently when he got back to town and there were other women available.
"The snow has melted over much of the mountain," Tyler announced at dinner that evening. "I think we"ll be able to get through tomorrow."
"Good." She didn"t feel like saying anything else. She felt empty. He was getting rid of her.
"My brother and his wife are in Albuquerque awaiting the birth of their first child. I plan to take you to stay with them. That way n.o.body need ever know that you haven"t been with them the whole time."
"Will your brother agree?"
"Of course."
"And his wife?"
"She"ll do anything she can to help."
Anything they can to help Tyler off the hook. She would be the one to suffer the consequences of these last few days, not he.
"You will be able to stay with Hen and his wife until your friends return from Santa Fe."