Three years ago, Sophie Swift was confused. She"d felt an irresistible compulsion to go inside a mansion, where she"d met a man and girl. The man had told her that this girl was his genie, and that he was giving her to him. And now all that was left was a lamp, sat on the floor. She approached it with caution, not really understanding what was happening. She reached out a hand to touch it. It felt cold. Dormant.

Sophie put the lamp in her bag, and walked home. Whatever this was, she wanted to be somewhere safe.

"You"re home late!" Shouted her mother to her as she walked in.

"Can"t talk. Busy," Sophie said as she went straight upstairs.

"Oh, charming!" Mrs Swift said. "Dinner"ll be ready in half an hour!"

"Alright!" Sophie shouted back.

Sophie went to her room, and took the lamp out of her bag, setting it on her table. She sat down on her bed, and stared at the lamp. It looked so old, yet flawless. Not a scratch on it. Sophie reached out to it.

"I shouldn"t..." she said. She picked it up, and held it in her hands. Then, hesitantly, she rubbed it. She felt it grow warm in her hands, and she watched a cloud of light-blue smoke pour out.

"Oh finally," Alexis said as she appeared on the bed next to her. "I was beginning to think you were gonna chicken out."

"Oh my G.o.d, this is not real, this is not real..." Sophie said.

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"Oh it"s quite real, I promise," Alexis smiled. "So what will it be then? Eternal youth? Wealth beyond your wildest dreams? Or do you just wanna f.u.c.k?"

"What makes you think I want a genie?"

"Mistress, I"ve existed for hundreds of thousands of years, and I can honestly say that"s the best joke I"ve ever heard," Alexis laughed. "In my entire life, I"ve never met a human who doesn"t want things they can"t have. Well, things they can"t have until they meet me."

"I"m still not convinced you"re a genie."

"I promise you I am. I can"t lie to you."

"Prove it then. Cast a spell. Or does that count as one of my 3 wishes?"

"Honestly, Disney ruin everything, don"t they? There"s no 3 wishes. You get as many as you want. And none of that "evil genie" stuff. No wish misinterpretation. You get what you want. And if I mess up somehow, which I most definitely won"t, I"ll fix it for you. I give you my 100% satisfaction guarantee."

"I"m still waiting for my proof."

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