Chapter Eleven.
Kallie After the shoot, I let Megan out and rush to the shower. Never can I remember being so turned on. Thankfully, no one noticed that before I went into the bathroom, I ran to change my panties. The ones I had on were soaked. Being with Jax like that, even in the studio with Megan taking photos, was one of the most erotic moments of my life. Having him touch me, me straddling him, it felt real, so real. Son of a b.i.t.c.h, it felt amazing too. If we were alone, there"s no doubt I would have been begging him to make me come.
Once I get out of the shower*a cold shower*I take my time doing my hair and makeup. I change my outfit four times, and I sit on my bed once I"m all done. I am wasting time, trying to build up my confidence to face him again. After a few minutes of sitting and trying to collect my thoughts, I figure it"s probably best to go find him before he comes into my bedroom.
I walk out into the living room, and he"s sitting on the couch looking s.e.xy as sin. In another time, this could have been something amazing, something I would strive to hold on to.
"Hey, you almost ready?" I sigh and plaster a smile on my face.
"There"s my favorite model," he says, smiling as he comes over to me.
I shake my head and roll my eyes. "Never again. I"m definitely more comfortable behind the lens," I say.
He reaches for my hand, and I should pull it away, I know I should, but lately when he does it, it"s comforting, familiar.
"You were amazing. Best model I"ve ever worked with," he says.
I pull my hand away and go in search of my phone. "Please, stop calling me a model. I"m not. Are you ready? I could use a drink," I quickly say, and he laughs as we head out the door.
It doesn"t take long before we pull up to his house. The shoot just keeps playing over and over in my mind. It"s making me question things, and that"s something I do not want to do.
He parks and we get out of the car.
"Wow, there are a lot of people here tonight," I comment, taking in all the cars.
He smiles and grabs my hand. We walk up to the door, and he opens it for me, letting me walk in first.
"Surprise!" What the f.u.c.k?
I jump back and Jax grabs onto me and laughs. I"m so overwhelmed in this moment. I look around and see Braden, Sarah, and the girls. My mom, Brinley, her mom. Old friends and new friends. I can"t help but cover my face and start to cry. Jax is the first one to wrap his arms around me.
"What"s wrong?" he whispers, rubbing my back.
I laugh through my tears and peek up at him. "They"re happy tears. Who did all this?" I ask, searching his face.
Before he can even answer, my mom is pulling me into her arms.
"Oh, my baby girl, don"t cry" she coos and I hold her tight. "You know your brother and your, well, whatever Jax is to you, did an amazing job setting this whole thing up."
I wipe my eyes and pull away from her. I look back over at Jax, and he"s talking with a group of people but happens to glance in my direction. We lock eyes, and I smile and mouth thank you." He nods and gives me that wink.
"Brinley, you are such a b.i.t.c.h for making me do what I had to do today," I laugh.
We"re all hanging outside now. The party has been in full swing for almost five hours already. Sarah and the girls left, but Braden stayed behind. He told her that since they"re leaving the day after tomorrow, he was going to spend as much time with me as possible. I"m starting to worry about their relationship. I"ve never seen them argue, but that was pretty much all they did tonight. Besides that, I"ve had the greatest time ever. The food was amazing, everyone I love is here, and I"m feeling pretty drunk right about now, which is why I"m yelling at Brinley for the shoot.
"Take it up with the men in your life. They"re all incapable of doing s.h.i.t without a woman," she says and we both laugh, tapping our beers.
"I"ll take it up with them too. You know I had to be almost completely naked with Jax. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me? s.h.i.t, I had to go change my d.a.m.n panties." She bursts out laughing, and I join right in with her. "Brin, Brin, holy s.h.i.t, it was hot. I wanted to f.u.c.k him right there. Seriously, I would have," I say, smiling and wiggling my eyebrows. She chokes on her beer, and I lift my shoulders, taking a sip of mine.
"Kallie, maybe you should just go for it. I mean, s.h.i.t, look at everything he"s done for you tonight. He threw you a f.u.c.king party, yes, with the help of Braden, but still. You"re both attracted to each other, why can"t you just let yourself be happy?" she questions.
I feel a few tears run down my face, and I quickly wipe them away. "Brin, it"s so hard. I"ve never felt this way. I"m not just physically attracted to him, no, not anymore. It"s more than that now. I have feelings for him. Do you know how f.u.c.ked up that is?" I say and blink back more tears because I can"t believe I just admitted that out loud. I"ve been stuffing it down with everything else about Jax.
"Oh, Kallie, you"re such a d.a.m.n fool. You"re depriving yourself of something great because of a stupid rule. Rules are made to be broken, girlfriend. s.h.i.t, look at me," she says and laughs, but I can"t join in, not this time.
"I just can"t," I whisper, finishing off my beer and toss it into the garbage behind me. "Hey, get me another beer, and let"s go sit by the fire with everyone else." I need a distraction. I"m having such a great night, I don"t want it to end like this.
"Fine, keep avoiding things. You"re good at that," she says.
I flip her off and head over to the fire pit where Jax, Braden, Blake, Brody, and Max are with a few girls that, honestly, I don"t know. I"m not going to lie; when I see one of them sitting on Jax"s lap, the jealousy I feel is real. Good thing I"m drunk and don"t give a s.h.i.t about what comes out of my mouth.
"It"s my party, and all you a.s.sholes don"t even come get me for the fire. Real f.u.c.king nice," I say, sitting in an empty chair and pulling my legs up. "Who the h.e.l.l is here, anyway? I don"t even know these chicks."
"d.a.m.n, Kallie, had a few too many?" Braden questions.
I look at Braden and smile. "My big brother. Thank you for doing this. I"m going to miss you so much," I say and feel myself start to tear up but quickly blink them back when the wh.o.r.e sitting on Jax"s lap starts talking.
"You"re leaving, Braden? That sucks, we were just getting to know you," the chick says.
I look at her with confusion. She"s sitting on Jax"s lap, but sad my brother is leaving. What the f.u.c.k?
"He"s married, taken," I blurt out.
Brinley hands me my beer and tells me to shut up. "Kall, maybe you"ve had enough," she comments.
I roll my eyes and take a sip. "Braden, please don"t. I was having fun," I whine.
Max, Brody, and Blake start talking to me about photography, and that gets my mind off anything else. Max and I start reminiscing about the first time we met, and I just laugh the entire time. Brinley, Braden, and a few of the girls who I now recognize as models from the beach shoot join in the conversation. We"re all talking and laughing, and that"s when I realize Jax hasn"t even bothered to say s.h.i.t to me in hours. What the h.e.l.l is his problem? I glance over, and he"s talking quietly with Lap s.l.u.t. She"s like a f.u.c.king lap dog.
I turn back to the conversation, but I can"t help but stare at them. Her arms are around his neck, and his hands are resting very high up on her thighs. I mean, what the f.u.c.k? I thought he liked me? I guess the hard-on at the shoot today was enough to push him to anyone with a p.u.s.s.y.
I turn at the sound of laugher and see Braden and this girl talking and laughing. Brinley is shoving her t.i.ts in Max"s face, and Blake looks like he might screw this girl right on that bench. Even Brody is kissing a chick. What the f.u.c.k is happening? It"s like I"ve stepped into a world of flirting and s.e.x. Yet, here I am, sitting solo.
"I need to get home. Kallie, happy birthday. I"ll call you tomorrow," Braden says.
I get up and hug him tightly, willing him to not go to North Carolina. I can just tell he"s as miserable about leaving as I am having him leave. I just know there must be marital problems.
"Are you and Sarah splitting up?" I ask, trying to figure it all out.
He kisses my cheek and smiles at me. "Not yet, but I"m not going to lie. It"s been rough. We"re hoping this time away helps everything," he says, sighing.
I squeeze him again. Here my brother is doing everything to hold onto his marriage, and I push away the only guy I"ve been interested in, in a long time.
As he heads for the house, I feel the first raindrop. Brinley and Max say goodbye, and I"m sure they"ll be spending the night together. Blake throws his chick of the night over his shoulder and goes into the house. Brody gives me a tight hug goodbye and leaves. Jax, his lapdog, and I are the last ones by the fire. It"s awkward, to say the least. It"s not like I can just leave. I don"t have my car, and well, I"m drunk.
"Kallie, I"m going to go. Happy birthday," Lapdog says, smiling.
I raise my eyebrows and stare at her. "Leaving so soon? Such a shame. Night, Lapdog," I say and burst out laughing at myself. If I could high five myself, I would.
"Kallie. What the h.e.l.l?" Jax hisses.
I turn to look at him and smirk. "I"m the one who got you h.o.r.n.y, don"t forget that," I murmur.
I stand up and walk into the house, even though he"s yelling my name. Well, f.u.c.k you. I sit on the couch and drop my head back, closing my eyes. I hear the sliding door close, and I lift my head toward the kitchen.
"This is a different side of you," he says and sits down next to me, resting his hand on my thigh.
I hit it off and move further away from him. "Your lapdog is gone, so I"m good enough now? Good thing nothing ever happened with us because you obviously will take whatever is in front of you," I quietly say, picking at the hem of my shirt, avoiding looking at him.
"I"m going to let that go since I know you"ve been drinking. Monica is my friend, just my friend. She"s like a sister to me," he tries to explain.
The anger starts boiling, and I can"t seem to stop it. "Really? That"s f.u.c.king weird, because I sure as s.h.i.t wasn"t sitting on my brother"s lap," I shout.
He reaches for my hands, but I pull them away and he lets out a sigh. I stare at him and I want to punch him in the face when he begins smirking at me.
"What the h.e.l.l are you smirking at?" I say through clenched teeth.
"Kallie Gregory, you"re jealous," he says, that grin turning into a smile.
What an idiot. Jealous of what? A lapdog? I don"t think so.
"Jax Burke, you"re stupid," I come back with.
He laughs. He actually has the b.a.l.l.s to laugh at me.
"I"m not jealous. I don"t give a s.h.i.t who you f.u.c.k. All I know is it won"t ever be me." I get up and walk out the front door. I don"t need this s.h.i.t. I don"t need to feel things toward him that I shouldn"t have in the first place.
It"s pouring rain, and I don"t even care. I stand in the middle of his yard and turn my head up to the sky, hoping the rain will wash away this pain.
"Kallie, what the h.e.l.l are you doing?" he yells, holding the door open. "Get back in here."
I let out a sarcastic laugh. "f.u.c.k off, Jax," I scream, turning my head back up to the sky and letting my tears blend in with the rain pouring down on me.
He grabs my hand and pulls me toward him. I snap my head at him and try to pull away. "Not this time, Kallie, this game we"ve been playing is over. No more running." I pull away again, and he pulls me right to him. "d.a.m.n it, stop fighting this," he demands.
My tears are unstoppable at this point. I"m so confused.
"I can"t-"
He doesn"t even let me continue. He slams his mouth to mine. Pulling me flush against him, keeping one hand on my a.s.s and the other wrapped in my hair. He nips my bottom lip and licks away the sting. Licking the seam of my lips, he seeks entrance, and with my heart pounding and tears still running down my face, I open my mouth.
The second our tongues touch, it is all-consuming. His taste, his hands on me, and his hard body pressed against mine...I can"t get enough. I run my hands up into his hair, and he grabs onto my a.s.s, pulling me even closer. I moan, unable to control myself. It is the most unbelievable kiss I"ve ever had, bringing my entire body to life.
He breaks the kiss, moves my hair, and kisses and sucks on my neck. I drop my head back, letting the rain wash my face clean of my dried tears.
"Mmmm," I moan out and wrap my arms around his head, trying to keep him there.
He kisses up to my ear, kissing me below it like he has many times, before resting his forehead on mine.
"It"s you I want, Kallie. No one else, I promise you that. Give me a chance to prove that to you," he whispers, locking his eyes with mine.
I"ve just experienced the most intense kiss of my life, with the hottest guy I"ve ever seen, in the pouring rain. I can"t say I"m not nervous, and I don"t have my reservations, but maybe Brinley is right. It may be time to break some rules. With my stomach swimming with b.u.t.terflies and my heart in my throat, I nod.
He looks at me with wide eyes. "Yes? Holy s.h.i.t, yes?" he shouts, holding onto my shoulders.
His reaction causes me to giggle, and I nod my head again."Yes."
He picks me up and spins me in a circle. He doesn"t put me back down when he stops spinning. He gazes into my eyes, searching them. I do the same to him, although I"m not even sure what I"m looking for. He slowly leans forward and gently kisses my lips.
"Stay the night with me," he breathes against my lips.
I giggle and kiss his rain-soaked lips. "Not much of a choice...you"re my ride," I joke.
He laughs and holds me up higher. "d.a.m.n right. You ready to get out of this rain and dry off?"
I grab tighter around his neck when he lifts my legs, wrapping them around his waist.
"I"m ready," I say, and I don"t just mean to go inside. I mean to let go, to give this a chance, to find my happiness.
He doesn"t put me down, he carries me into the house. When he walks in the front door, Blake is sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette.
"It"s about d.a.m.n time," he says.
I look at Jax and smile. He kisses the tip of my nose and kicks off his shoes by the door.
"Better late than never, right, brother?" Jax replies.
Blake gives us a thumbs up as Jax carries me down the hallway to the bathroom. He finally puts me down and moves my soaking wet hair out of my face.
"I"ve never seen someone look more beautiful than you do right now," he says in a low, s.e.xy voice. Holy s.h.i.t. My heart feels like it might just beat out of my chest. "Take a shower. I"ll get you a dry shirt to wear." He pulls a towel out of the closet and puts it on the sink for me. "Take your time." He kisses my cheek and walks out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
I take off all my clothes and hang them on the towel rack. I set the shower to temperature and climb in. The warm water feels amazing after being out in the cold rain, but h.e.l.l, I wouldn"t have changed a thing. It was spontaneous, romantic, and completely out of character for me. I know I"m taking a risk here, a huge risk, we both are, but it"s impossible to fight it anymore. I"ve been doing it for months now, and he"s been so patient with me. I"ve never had a guy want me badly enough to wait for me to be ready. It"s a surreal feeling.
"Kallie, I"m going to leave this shirt on the sink for you. I obviously don"t have any underwear for you, but I gave you a pair of new boxers to wear. It"s the best I can do," he says.
I smile at his thoughtfulness. "That"s perfect, thank you."
I hear the door close and poke my head out. To my surprise, he"s gone. I quickly wash myself in the soap that smells just like Jax. I rinse off and grab the towel to dry off. Once I"m all dressed in his shirt and boxers, I try to see myself through the foggy mirror. I look happy, and being wrapped in his clothes and his scent just may be part of the reason. I dry my hair the best I can with the towel and search for a brush. I actually find one and use it, pulling my hair up into a high bun.
I open the bathroom door and glance down the hallway to see Jax standing in the living room. I head toward him and he must hear me because he turns around. He gives me a grin, and when I reach him, he wraps me in his strong arms.
"I like seeing you in my shirt," he mutters. I wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his chest.
I wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his chest. "I like being in it." I lift my head and notice at his shirt. "Hey, you changed," I say, rubbing his solid chest.