"It was bad," Bay conceded softly, moving her fingers around the cup. "So, Gabe said you were an Apache combat pilot?"
Emma nodded. "Was. I got kidnapped by the Taliban a year ago, held prisoner and got pushed around." She held up her left hand. "I was kicked in the left shoulder and it damaged nerves in this hand. I still have two fingers that are numb and I can"t feel them. And when you fly an Apache, you have to have feeling in all ten, so the Army released me."
Khalid joined them, sitting opposite of Emma and Bay, "My lovely wife was down, but not out." He gave Emma a warm, loving look.
Gabe brought over a plate of scrambled eggs and set them front of Bay. She managed a small smile of thanks.
"Even though you have a permanent injury, you"re able to fly, Emma?" Bay asked.
"Khalid has a charity program set up for the Afghan children along the border area. We fly in books, desks and teachers to the villages who want our help." Emma smiled over at her husband. "He doesn"t care if I have two fingers that are numb. I can fly a CH-47 with the best of them."
Bay tasted the eggs with trepidation. Surprisingly, they were delicious. Her stomach growled its appreciation. "I think it"s wonderful you two are helping the children. This country has so little...."
Khalid nodded, spooning the eggs into his mouth. After swallowing, he said, "The only way our country is going to lift itself out of this abject poverty is to educate the children, both boys and girls."
Bay smiled over at the tall, lean pilot. "I think it"s a wonderful gesture."
Emma lifted her head and directed her attention to Gabe. "Hey, are you two hanging around today by any chance?"
"Yes. Why?" Gabe asked.
Emma reached out and touched Bay"s hand. "We"ve got a medical clinic set up for an orphanage in Kabul this morning. Bay, would you like to come over and help us? We"ve got a doctor coming but no nurse. Do you feel up to it?"
"Children?" Bay asked.
"Yes, all ages," Khalid warned with a smile. "We go over once a month. The nurse can"t make today because she"s sick."
"I"d love to help," Bay said, feeling her spirits lift. She saw Gabe give her a softened look. Her heart opened even more toward him. "Gabe? Is that all right? Can you come along?"
"The day"s all yours. I have to get back to Bagram shortly. Chief Hampton wants me to get some supplies at Bagram. We"ll fly back to Bravo tomorrow morning. I"ll catch up with you at the orphanage later in the day."
Emma rubbed her hands. "Excellent! Thank you, Bay. You"re practically a doctor, so we"re all in your good hands. Wait till you meet these children! They"re so beautiful and they just make you smile."
As Gabe sat there watching the emotions in Bay"s face, he saw the sadness finally dissolve in her beautiful blue eyes. Providence had a way of stepping in to help her, he realized. And he was grateful because Bay was special. Her suffering tore him up inwardly. He couldn"t tell her that. Gabe cared deeply for this hill woman, who had absolutely no protection against her too-generous heart.
GABE WALKED QUIETLY into the orphanage near 1600. He spotted Bay sitting in a rocking chair in one corner, a newborn in her arms. She was feeding the tyke a bottle of milk. A number of children sat around her feet, just happy to be near her. Gabe leaned casually against the doorjamb, smiling to himself. Emma was over in another area of the room, helping the women who cared for the older orphans.
Amazed at the change in Bay"s face, Gabe allowed himself to remain undetected and simply absorb the moment. No longer did he see tension in Bay. There was a soft smile on her lips as she gently rocked the baby in her arms. Every once in a while, she"d lean down and place a small kiss on the baby"s black hair. The baby would lift its tiny hands, waving them around, and then go back to suckling strongly on the bottle of milk. The other children, all two, three and four years old, played quietly around her feet. Gabe understood why. There was a warm, nurturing energy that always exuded around Bay. He"d noticed it from the day he"d met her. She was very maternal and the children gravitated to her like plants to sunlight.
Her light brown curls lay against her flushed cheeks. Though he wanted badly to walk over, lean down and kiss her lips, Gabe remained where he was. Last night, she"d been key in their surviving the Taliban attack. This afternoon, he was witnessing her vulnerability with the children. His throat tightened, and Gabe couldn"t ignore his need for her. The promise he"d made her, however, had to remain enforced. More than anything, Gabe wanted Bay"s continued trust. That was more important than stealing a kiss from this woman of the earth.
Bay looked up, as if sensing him nearby. As she lifted her chin, her blue eyes met his.
Easing away from the door, his arms dropping to his sides, Gabe walked over to where she rocked the baby. "Looks like you"re having a good day."
She watched as he drew over a chair and sat down a few feet opposite her. "Is it that obvious?" Bay looked down and smiled at the infant in her arms.
Gabe removed his cap, running his fingers through his black hair. The older boys were now gravitating toward him, curious about who he was. "You look beautiful with that baby in your arms," he said.
A powerful sensation of love for Gabe moved through Bay. It was the expression burning in his eyes, the rasp in his low tone that moved her.
"I love newborns. They smell so sweet and fresh." She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the little girl"s brow. She had finished the bottle and was now sleeping. Bay placed the bottle on the floor next to the rocker, sliding her arms around the baby.
"They"re like newborn pups," Gabe agreed, feeling his entire body tighten with desire for Bay. The openness of her expression, the joy shining in her blue eyes, touched him as no other woman ever had. He wanted to love her, hold her and love her all over again. For a moment, Gabe wanted her to carry his child. It was a primal, powerful feeling of wanting to claim her for his own.
For once, Gabe didn"t fight his feelings toward Bay as he met and held her radiant gaze filled with joy. The change in her was startling. Breath stealing. This morning, she had been grieving and depressed, with good reason. Now there was nothing but warmth and contentment on her face. And something else... Gabe knew when a woman wanted her man. And if he wasn"t mistaken, that was the look in her blue eyes right now-for him. He felt aroused and instantly controlled his body. Wrong time and place.
"Puppies smell wonderful, too," she agreed, fond memories from her own past making her smile. How happy Gabe made her feel by his presence alone! She couldn"t ignore him as she had before. What had changed?
Swallowing hard, Bay blamed her rocky emotional state for these thoughts. Right now she felt needy and susceptible to him. She knew Gabe would hold her, love her and she"d be happy every minute in his arms. They had four months before his team was rotated out of Afghanistan. And she might well be rea.s.signed elsewhere. Her life was not her own. All she could do was love him from a distance. Look, but don"t touch...
GABE SAT WITH Bay out in the living room near midnight in the villa. He"d come out from his suite to get some water from the kitchen tap and seen her sitting on the couch, staring off into s.p.a.ce. Emma had loaned her a set of Levi"s jeans and a green tank top so she didn"t have to wear her cammies. He sauntered over to the living room with a gla.s.s of water in hand.
Bay roused herself from her introspection. She was sitting in the corner of the couch, her feet bare, legs against her body, her arms wrapped around them. Gabe had come to the kitchen without her even hearing him until he"d turned the on tap. There was one lamp on in the living room, the shadows deep. He wore a tan T-shirt that outlined his powerful chest and shoulders, cammie trousers and boots.
She was struck by how athletic he was. It was a pleasure to watch the play of muscles in his arm as he lifted the gla.s.s and drank deeply from it. Right now Bay didn"t feel the coiled tension she normally felt around Gabe. He settled in an overstuffed chair opposite the couch, the coffee table between them.
"How are you feeling?" he asked her quietly, holding her gaze.
"Just thinking," Bay admitted softly, appreciating how ruggedly handsome he was. Gabe settled back in the chair, his long legs splayed out in front of him. There was a naturalness to him. And right now he seemed unguarded, his hair mussed, giving him an air of relaxation instead of that constant tension he carried on duty.
"Thinking about what?" he wondered, setting the emptied gla.s.s on the lamp table next to his chair. "The last two days."
"What? Heaven and h.e.l.l?" He grinned mischievously.
"Something like that." Bay pushed curls away from her brow and then laced her fingers together in front of her knees. "So much has happened. I"m trying to process it all, but it"s not happening very fast."
"Don"t try to rush it," Gabe advised. "Trauma is like a deep splinter in your finger," he told her. "It works its way out over time. The good news is, it will come out."
Snorting, Bay said, "Yeah, but where are my tweezers? I don"t like suffering, Gabe. I want the pain gone. Now. Not later. I"ve never handled pain well. That"s why I cry. It"s a relief valve for me and it reduces the pain."
"It doesn"t happen that way for me. I wished it did, but that"s not my experience." Gabe felt tired in a good way, at ease, resting his head against the overstuff chair. Just getting this kind of intimacy with Bay was more than he"d ever dreamed would happen. It was rare, and tomorrow morning, they"d be thrown back into the mix-master of patrols and ongoing, continued danger. It made their time together excruciatingly special and he felt like a dry sponge absorbing every second.
Licking her lower lip, she asked softly, "Is there a trick to it?"
He shook his head and opened his large hand. "Bay, you"ve been in firefights before when you were in Iraq. How did you handle them?"
"Good point," she murmured. "I did handle them. It didn"t get to me like this time did." Her brow furrowed. "I don"t know why...."
He saw the longing in her eyes for him. It was almost palpable to Gabe as he held her tenuous gaze. "Maybe you"re changing. We"re not static beings. We"re like trees, always putting out new growth."
"I like that picture," she whispered, smiling tentatively. "Maybe I am. I don"t know. I just feel-" she groped for the words "-just different." She shook her head. "I wish I knew how to work through combat."
Gabe sobered. There was such nonverbal desire burning between them. It was a special kind of h.e.l.l. "Hey," he teased, trying to lighten her mood, "I"ve got my hands full with myself. I won"t ever pretend to know how another person needs to work through trauma."
She sat back. "I"m just glad you"re there, Gabe." Turning her head, Bay met and held his gaze. "You are an incredible person. I-I"ve never met anyone like you. Ever..."
He saw the raw need in her eyes, heard it in her husky voice. He felt the same and it hurt a lot. Oh, G.o.d, he ached, feeling his lower body hardening, needing her. Last night he"d dreamed of loving every inch of her body. Touching her velvet, warm skin, kissing it, moving his tongue across it, feeling her tense and moan with pleasure. They were adults and Bay had a maturity way past his.
"From the moment I saw you, Bay, my world changed," Gabe quietly admitted.
Her eyes widened for a moment, her lips parted. There, he"d said it. Now she knew without a doubt that what they were both feeling was mutual.
"What are we going to do, Gabe?"
Slowly easing into a sitting position, his hands clasped between his open thighs, he studied her in the gathering silence. "We"re going to have to gut it out, Bay. It won"t do us any good to start something here, and we both know that whether we like it or not." His mouth twisted into a wry line. "Our platoon rotates out of here in four more months. We"ll be going back to Coronado. I have a condo on the island. Maybe, if things work out, we can move forward at that time when you get home and explore what we have?"
He held her gaze, waiting for her reaction. It was a bold move on his part, and Gabe surprised himself. And obviously, his suggestion surprised Bay by the look on her face. He"d never wanted anything more than her. Bay was different. She was honest, caring and there was a simplicity to her that called to the depths of his heart. Most of all, he found himself wanting to love her as he"d never loved another woman. He went hot and hungry with need of her. What would she say to his brazen offer?
Bay held his burning gaze. "I"d like that but I don"t know what my orders will be, Gabe. I"ll have two more months to fulfill in Afghanistan before I can be rotated stateside. I"ll probably be a.s.signed somewhere else, but I have no idea where that might be." She saw his brow furrow.
"If you had a chance to get leave, would you?" He held his breath, waiting.
"In a heartbeat."
Relief tunneled through him. "Then we"ll just have to figure out a way to make this happen."
"Easier said than done," she whispered.
"Easy is done by the common man. SEALs are used to completing the impossible," he said with a smile.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN.
THE SEPTEMBER HEAT was stifling even at 1900. Bay wearily lugged her sniper rifle and ruck back to her tent. Where had the months gone? Her being an 18 Delta corpsman had spread quickly throughout Camp Bravo. If she wasn"t out with her SEAL team, there were requests for her medical help at the dispensary. Or she was asked to hold a women"s clinic in another Afghan village in one of the valleys by the Special Forces teams stationed at Bravo. She didn"t want for work.
After dropping her ruck on the plyboard floor of her tent, Bay placed the Win Mag in a corner, making sure the protective sheath was closed to prevent dust and sand from getting into it. The evening was squalid with hundred-degree temperature even at eight thousand feet. Perspiration ran down her temples as Bay sat on her cot and removed the heavy Kevlar vest.
Her thoughts turned back to Gabe, as they always did in rare quiet moments. Their secret had remained just that. They worked hard not to allow anyone in the team to think they had a personal connection. It was h.e.l.l, as Gabe had said months earlier, when they realized they were powerfully attracted to each other. Bay rubbed her face, feeling the grit on it. She wrinkled her nose, got up, walked over to the basin and poured water into it. There were hot showers available, and she was going to get to one soon. Right now she just wanted the grit off her face.
"Bay? You in there?"
She lifted her head, hearing Gabe"s voice outside her tent. Instantly, her heart pounded. "Yes...hold on just a sec," she called back.
Quickly sloshing water across her face, she picked up a towel. She went over to the open flaps and stepped outside. They made sure he would never be seen inside her tent. He was still in his patrol gear. Why? The team was standing down for five days after the last patrol.
"What"s up?" she asked, wiping the last of the moisture from around her eyes and nose.
"Chief Hampton wants us to fly into a Shinwari village three valleys over and take a pregnant Afghan woman to Bagram. She"s the wife of one of the leaders and requested our help." Gabe smiled, his hands resting across his M-4 slung horizontally across the front of his body. "Want to?"
"In a medevac?" Bay saw his eyes were shadowed.
"I know what you"re thinking," Gabe said wryly. "Last time we were in a medevac, it crashed."
"Yeah, no kidding." Bay sighed, utterly spent from a night patrol hunting Taliban. At dawn, they"d been airlifted to another Shinwari village to conduct medical clinics during the daylight hours. It had been fourteen hours on the ground, and all she wanted right now was sleep.
Nodding, he said, "The doctor"s worried about the woman, thinks she might need a Cesarean to deliver her baby."
"Okay," she said with a grimace. "Chief Hampton asked for both of us?"
"It"s routine-if one member of a team is on a medevac, if possible, another team member goes along. I just happened to be the last guy left in the HQ when the call came in. Hampton told me to find you and ask if you"re up for it. He said if you were, I was to go along."
Gabe saw the weariness on her face. He also saw yearning-for him. He could relate to any concern she might have that something might happen on that medevac flight. Hampton had asked him upon their return from the first crash if anything had happened between them that day they"d spent at Bagram. One thing a SEAL did not do was lie to another team member. Ever. Gabe could honestly tell Hampton that nothing had happened. And it hadn"t. It would remain that way. But each time together was going to be a special torture for them.
"This is a pro-American village?" Bay asked.
"Yes, but it"s in an area where we"ve been rooting out Taliban who want to create rat lines and take it over. That"s why I"m coming along. Hampton doesn"t think anything will happen, but you need a big, bad guard dog."
"Hold on, let me get my medical ruck and I"ll be right out."
Gabe stood waiting. He took special care not to give her any more attention than any other SEAL member on the team. He didn"t want Bay"s career or his own destroyed by their desire to be with each other. That didn"t mean he didn"t dream of meeting her in San Diego after his team rotated back Stateside. He"d have time to be with her, explore her, share with her. That was worth waiting for.
Bay slipped between the flaps, the medical ruck slung over her right shoulder, her M-4 and SIG in place. "Okay, let"s rock it out."
He smiled a little, seeing the warmth in her eyes for him alone. "This should be routine," he a.s.sured her, walking at her side. And maybe, just maybe, they could spend some quality time at Bagram before hitching a chopper ride back to Bravo. It wouldn"t be much, but it was a moment to steal a little privacy with her.
THE MEDEVAC LANDED outside the village at dusk. Bay and Gabe hurried out of the sliding door of the Blackhawk and walked toward the gate to the small village. A tall man dressed in white-and-cream robes, a white turban on his head, stood near the gate, his hands clasped in front of him.
Gabe looked around. He was tense because the medevac was on the ground and, therefore, a target. The village was small, maybe a hundred people who lived at the far end of this narrow valley. The mountains and hills were shadowed around the oval valley, night coming on quickly. The medevac was equipped for night flight, but the two pilots and the crew chief weren"t happy about having to sit and wait. Gabe couldn"t blame them.
As they approached, the forty-year-old chieftain, named Taher, seemed upset. After giving him the greeting, Bay asked to be taken to his wife, Razia.
Gabe increased his stride to catch up with the leader and Bay. Everything looked normal, the shadows running deep. He could feel the chill and gusting winds coming down off the mountains at this time of the evening. The village appeared almost deserted, but at this time, families were inside eating. He could smell the wood smoke and spices used for cooking their meals in the air.
Taher led them down one of the main streets. They barely saw the outline of a two-story mud and stone house at the end of it. This village did not have a wall around it to protect it from intruders. The slope of the mountain was literally about a hundred feet away, providing some protection for the village.
Taher stopped outside the door. "My wife is in there. You must hurry. She"s in great pain." He opened the wooden door. "Please, both of you go in."
Gabe looked around, his hands on the M-4. Taher appeared nervous, but Gabe wrote it off to the fact that his wife was in labor. Bay went in and he followed.
Just as they made it inside the house, Gabe heard a horrifying sound. It was the hollow thunk of an RPG being fired.
They saw the pregnant woman sitting in the corner, on the floor, surrounded by pillows. Her face was sweaty, her eyes wide with fear. She was holding her large belly, gasping for breath. When Bay heard the sound, she froze in the middle of the room.
As the explosion hit, the house shuddered. Instantly, Gabe called it in on his radio. His eyes were narrowed as he brought the M-4 up, ready to fire.
"Bay, exfil!"