The inside SEAL joke wasn"t lost on Gabe. He grinned and eased to his feet. "We"ll get your stuff out of the duffel bag tomorrow morning. I thought you could survive one night in my sleep gear."
"They"re fine. Thanks for being so thoughtful." She absorbed his boneless grace as he walked up to her. Gabe"s shoulders were always proud, his carriage of a man who had absolutely confidence in himself. It soothed her raw emotions. The burning look in his eyes made her more than aware of his guardian-like energy that surrounded her. To say he was a big, bad SEAL guard dog was a gross understatement.
"Come on, let"s take you down to your bedroom. I want to examine where you got hit."
"Really, it"s all right, Gabe." Her heart beat faster as he gently slid his arm around her shoulders and guided her toward the hall.
"I know you know your medical stuff, but suffer with me on this, all right? I"ve seen a few of these and I know when one needs medical attention or not."
Bay wrinkled her nose. "And you don"t trust me to know?"
Gabe nudged the door open to her room. There was a stained-gla.s.s lamp sitting on the dresser shedding just enough light. "I trust you, baby. Take off the robe. Lie down on your right side. I"ll lift the pajama top and take a look at it. Nothing more."
"Okay," she said. Again, she was glad he was being circ.u.mspect. Gabe had seen her naked in the shower, but she still felt shy in his presence. "Thanks for understanding," she whispered, shrugging stiffly out of the robe and laying it across the bottom of the queen-size bed. The room was darkened except for the lamp. The bed had a rattan headboard and it curved gracefully across the width of it. She sat down on the dark green quilt and slowly lay down. The pillow felt welcoming and she sighed heavily as her head sank into it.
"I promise this won"t hurt," Gabe said. He settled next to her hip. The lamp would provide enough to light to view her injury. Bay had moved her left arm so that he"d have a clear view of her lower rib cage. As he pulled the cloth away, being sensitive not to reveal her breast in the process, Gabe stared down at the ma.s.sively bruised area. The bullet had struck the ceramic plate midway down her rib cage. The swelling was breathtaking and he quickly a.s.sessed the area. The dark purple and blue bruising spread out and was larger than his hand. It was worse than he expected.
"This is a bad one," he growled. He gently laid the cloth down across her covered breast. "I"m going to have to touch the area." He carefully laid his fingers across the swollen flesh. Bay flinched. Not good. The central area where the bullet had struck was the size of a softball. "What have you done so far about this?" he asked, lifting his head and catching her gaze. He saw the corners of her mouth tucked in, understanding even his tender examination to the area was painful for her.
"I"ve been taking Motrin every twelve hours."
"Did you go to the dispensary at Bravo when you got back to base? Get some antibiotics?"
"No. And you know why. If they"d seen this, I could have been held up for days and not made my C-5 flight out of Bagram on time." Her voice became more emotional. "Gabe, I wanted to come home. I wanted out of Camp Bravo." She slid him a pleading look. "You understand."
He sighed, studying the pus in the center of the hit area. It was infected. "Yeah, I do, but, baby, you know this should have been looked at." He carefully brought the flap of the pajama top over the injury. "Were you able to ice it down?" Ice and Motrin were the usual ways to deal with a Kevlar hit. "Did you get an X-ray to rule out broken or fractured lower ribs?"
"No X-ray, no antibiotics. I had some chemical ice packs in my medical ruck. I"d put them on every couple of hours and held them in place with some duct tape. I"m still on Motrin."
Shaking his head, Gabe studied her in the silence. He saw how exhausted Bay was. "I"m taking you to the Navy Dispensary on Coronado tomorrow morning. You need some medical eyes on this. Fair enough?"
Bay made a face. "Don"t push it, Gabe. I"m whipped. Just let me sleep. We"ll talk about it tomorrow morning."
Nodding, Gabe got up. She was already going to sleep on him. "Tomorrow," he promised quietly. He moved to the other side of the bed, lifted the cover and sheet and brought it over her. Making sure she was warm, he turned off the lamp on the dresser. Gabe turned around to take one last look at her. Bay was already asleep, her left hand nestled beneath her cheek, her lips parted, her damp hair was a dark frame around her face. His heart ached for her. As badly as Gabe wanted to lie down and simply hold her, it wasn"t the right time.
Easing the door closed, Gabe moved silently down the hallway toward the kitchen. It was nearly 10:00 p.m. The stress was. .h.i.tting him, too. He had to be careful of making a mountain out of molehill with Bay. She was a medical corpsman, and he was sure she"d a.s.sessed her own injury. Inwardly Gabe knew he"d have done the same thing. He"d want to get home so d.a.m.n bad that nothing, not even a Kevlar bullet hit would stop him. No matter how bad it was. Still... He tried to rein in his worry for her.
SUNLIGHT WAS POURING into Bay"s bedroom when she slowly awoke. Though feeling as if she"d been hit by a semitruck, she luxuriated in the warmth of the covers over her. Sometime during the night, she"d turned over on her back. Moving her fingers to the bruise, she felt how tender it was. There was a lot of heat in it, too. That meant it was infected. d.a.m.n.
Frowning, Bay slowly sat up, the cover falling around her hips. She looked around, admiring the bedroom"s tasteful decor. The rattan bed stands, dresser and mirror mingled with the rough weave of wheat-colored wallpaper. To her left were floor-to-ceiling windows. The drapes were a jade color and shielded most of the light pouring into the large room from the bay. On the dresser was a vase of fresh flowers, beautiful and exotic orchids in purple-and-white colors. Moving her fingers across the softness of the silk green quilt, Bay shook her head, feeling as if she were in some magical dream.
She eased stiffly out of the bed, her bare feet touching the cool wooden floor. Just sitting in a soft bed, feeling halfway decent and clean, she drew in deep a breath, grateful. Her ribs ached, reminding her that drawing in a deep breath made them feel cranky. She figured she had hairline fractures in a couple of them, and Gabe wouldn"t be happy about it.
Just hearing the silence and seeing the dark marine blue of the bay made her relax. What a startling difference between snowy, cold, desolate Afghanistan and here. Bay"s mind wasn"t functioning well right now, mostly from jet lag and flying halfway around the world.
The door quietly opened and Gabe looked in.
"Hey," she called, her voice thick with sleep. "Good morning."
He seemed to watch her as an eagle would its prey. Or maybe it was really concern she saw in his eyes.
"You"re up." Gabe had a cup of coffee in hand. "I was just coming to check up on you."
"Mother-henning me," she joked, rubbing her eyes.
He stood at the door, as if not wanting her to feel pressured. "SEALs always mother-hen each other when they"re down," he said. Holding up his cup, he asked, "Feel like some coffee? Maybe some breakfast?"
She wiped her eyes and allowed her hands to fall to the coverlet. The sleek feel of the raw silk was such a pleasure to her fingertips. "That sounds wonderful." Bay looked around. "My duffel bag has some civilian clothes in it."
"I"ll go get it," he said. "Coffee?"
"That would be great. Thanks, Gabe." Her heart expanded with joy as he gave her that careless smile. He could go from being so d.a.m.n intense to boyish in a heartbeat. Fierce love for him swept through her. She watched Gabe leave as silently as he"d arrived. Someday he was going to have to teach her how to walk like that.
GABE SAID LITTLE as he watched Bay eat breakfast with relish. He"d made her a cheese-and-bacon omelet, with a small cup of fresh fruit and sourdough toast. She looked beautiful in the pink tee, white linen pants and white sandals. Most of all, her hair curled and lay around her shoulders, a light gold and brown frame for her beautiful face. It was then that Gabe realized how gaunt Bay had become. Stress, firefights, not getting to eat as often as you would like, were all causes of weight loss. He lost twenty to thirty pounds when in combat, and only on coming home would he put the weight back on. Combat always caused him to lose his appet.i.te. And then he forced himself to eat so he wouldn"t pa.s.s out on a patrol. It was just part of combat stress for everyone and the reason why Bay was so thin.
"I"ve got an appointment with the Navy Dispensary for you," he finally said after she finished her meal. He watched her pick up the coffee cup, her fingers long and spare. Fingers that he wanted to touch him, love him, that he wanted to kiss one by one. How many times had he wondered what it would feel like to lie with Bay? He dreamed of loving her slowly. Thoroughly. Gabe had memorized every inch of her beautiful body. He wanted to capture her heart and breathe his life into her. And he"d inhale her sweet breath deeply into himself.
Gently, Gabe put all of those yearnings aside. His first step in getting Bay reacquainted with civilization was a trip to the doctor"s office. And he could already see her wrinkle her nose, but he said nothing as she sipped the coffee.
"I"d really like to sidestep that appointment." She had some antibiotic in her duffel bag and would take them instead.
"I wouldn"t." He held her gaze. "I"m not taking no for an answer, Bay."
She managed a lopsided smile. "I can see that." Knowing he cared, she didn"t fight it too much.
Gabe rested his arm on the bamboo table. "What would you like to do today?"
"Not go to the dispensary?"
He saw her grin. "Nice try, but no. What about afterward? Are you just wanting to be left alone here at the condo? Some quiet downtime?"
Lifting her gaze to his, she murmured, "Just quiet. I felt myself unraveling in the airport last night. The noise...it felt like bombs were going off around me. I know it"s me, it"s not them...."
"I knew what you were feeling." He moved his fingers around on the design carved into the bamboo. "What about going out to the beach? Watching the surf?"
Bay closed her eyes, her elbows resting on the table, the cup between her hands. "That sounds perfect, Gabe. It really does." And then she opened her eyes and met his warm gaze. "Is that what you do when you get home?"
Gabe was never surprised by Bay"s insights and sensitivity toward others. It was one of the many things he loved about her. And it was love. Just sitting with her at the table, talking, absorbing her into his heart, was an incredible gift. "Yeah, when I get off deployment, the first couple of weeks, I avoid civilization as much as possible. The noise, the crowds, the rat race, wear me down and make me emotionally raw. I get pretty irritable and cranky. I"m not someone you"d want to be around until I can sort things out in my head."
"And so you being a SEAL and your love of water, you go back into the arms of Mom Ocean to get healed?"
"Water is always soothing to me," he acknowledged. "What about you?" Gabe was hungry to get to know Bay. To discover all the little facets that made her who she was.
"I love the water, too. We have a creek out back of our cabin, and I was forever playing in it as a kid." She smiled fondly with those memories.
"Speaking of home, did you let your mother know you were home?"
"Yes, I called her while I was waiting for my flight out of San Francisco." She was touched that he would be concerned about her family. There was so much more to Gabe than she ever realized, and a new kind of excitement threaded through her. Finishing her coffee, Bay set it aside. Gabe looked so d.a.m.n masculine in his dark green T-shirt and jeans. The material stretched cross his chest and outlined his incredibly broad shoulders like a second skin. It made her yearn for him all the more.
"Good." Gabe glanced down at his gold Oyster Rolex on his thick wrist. "We"ve got an hour before your appointment." He looked out the windows, the drapes drawn back. "Looks like the front has gone through. Blue sky out there. Lots of sunshine. Perfect for a beach lunch. You up for it?"
Was she ever! "More than ready," Bay whispered, holding his gaze. Despite his masculinity, his being a warrior, she was discovering another incredible side to this man. Gabe was far more nurturing than she ever realized. That night out on the mountain where they were squeezed together, hiding from the Taliban, should have made her realize it. But she hadn"t, too scared and stressed out by the nearby danger. Now, as Gabe eased out of the chair to his full height, Bay felt joy moving through her. Was this some kind of Cinderella dream she was in?
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO.
JUST THE SOOTHING sound of the ocean waves rolling in and crashing upon the beach calmed Bay"s anxiety. After seeing the doctor at the dispensary, they"d driven up the coast to La Jolla and gone to the public beach. The doctor had given her antibiotics, saying there was a slight infection in the hematoma area. Her ribs were not fractured, just badly bruised and that was good news. Otherwise, as Bay suspected, she"d have to wait until the swelling went down before she could have full use of her body once more.
The sun felt good on her, but the jacket that Gabe had brought along felt even better. The scent of salty air filled her lungs, chasing away her tension. Bay sat between his legs, leaning against Gabe, content as never before. His body curved around hers and she felt warm and protected.
In front of Bay, along the beach, a few people were walking along the damp sand at noon. The storm that had pa.s.sed through last night left it chilly and the wind blowing inconstantly. Above them wheeled white seagulls, always hunting for food. Bay loved their graceful dance on the currents of the air. The sound of waves crashing their foamy lives out on the sand lulled her. She felt Gabe"s cheek rest against her head.
"Better?" he asked. Bay had appeared stressed after coming out of the dispensary. He couldn"t blame her. Squalling kids, children running around without proper adult supervision, the place overcrowded, all served to make her tense. He felt Bay"s hand come to rest on his right thigh.
"This was the perfect call," she whispered, closing her eyes, her head resting on his left shoulder, brow against his jaw. Gabe pressed a small kiss to her brow. "Thank you...."
"I want to do more. I wish..." he said, frowning, "I know where you"re at, Bay. I can feel you." Gabe lifted his left hand and gently moved some of her curly strands away from her temple. The humidity of the ocean was making her hair curl even more.
"You"re doing it." Bay sighed, pressing her cheek into his open hand. The thick calluses on his palm were rough against the smoothness of her flesh, but she didn"t mind. His tender care brought tears to her eyes. Bay tipped her head back on his shoulder and opened her eyes, looking up into his strong face. "I haven"t had my letdown yet. I know it"s coming. I can feel it."
"I remember finding you sobbing in that shower stall at the villa." Gabe took a deep breath, feeling the need to do more, but he knew reactions were different for everyone. It was like threading a needle and never being sure where the eye of it was located. Now he worked completely off his internal instincts where she was concerned. He couldn"t read Bay"s mind. He did know what she felt. But his finely honed military instincts would take over the job and hopefully help him guide and support her during the healing process.
Her mouth pulled into a partial smile. "I"ll try not to duplicate that experience in the shower this time around."
Gabe laughed softly. "Don"t worry about it. I"m just glad I was there when it happened."
She saw tenderness burning in his eyes as he regarded her. "It"s so nice to be able to be with you, touch you, Gabe, be in your arms..."
"It was h.e.l.l in Afghanistan," he agreed wryly. Gabe squeezed her hand gently. "But you were worth waiting for, Bay."
"Did Chief Hampton know about us?"
Shaking his head, Gabe said, "I didn"t think so, but after I said goodbye to you, he met me out back. He told me to wait in his office until everyone had left."
"Then he knew."
"He must have," Gabe said, kissing her wrinkled brow. "I never said anything to him. And I know you didn"t."
"He"s scary smart," Bay muttered. "He could have called us on it and we could both be in trouble."
Shrugging, Gabe said, "Good chiefs know when to look the other way. Doug probably had suspicions, but that was all. And I think because we towed the line in the platoon, he gave us the gift of really being able to say goodbye to each other."
"I was in shock. I really was, but I was so grateful to him."
Gabe nodded, watching the waves rolling in. There were puffy white clouds in the noontime blue sky. "What"s going to happen with you once you"ve had thirty days" leave?"
"We rotate six months in the U.S. and then six months deployed into combat. General Stevenson has it set up that the six months spent stateside include more training in our specialty. I have to go back East for medical refresher courses, which I"m looking forward to."
"And then you get rea.s.signed to another black ops team?"
She nodded. "Yes."
"And those reports are collected in the Pentagon by the general?"
"Yes. In another four years, the operation will be over. General Stevenson will have seven years" worth of info on the forty women who volunteered for the program at that time."
"How many women have you lost in combat?"
"Seven so far. We"re kept in the loop because we all trained together, became friends and we"re tight with one another. When a woman is wounded or killed, General Stevenson lets all of us know about it. We"re like a big family of sorts, kind of like you SEALs have your own version of an extended family."
"It sounds like it." Gabe saw the faraway look in Bay"s eyes as she watched the ocean. "So you have one more tour in Afghanistan?"
"Yes." She smiled a little. "I"ve loved being a part of this operation, Gabe. I"ve learned so much, grown and changed. Some of it has been awful. I haven"t met any of my sisters who don"t have PTSD. General Stevenson is running a program on our symptoms, to see how we"re dealing with it."
"Black ops guarantees you PTSD," he growled. "It"s a natural part of our business."
"No question," Bay whispered. "You seem so steady and solid, Gabe. You are never rattled. I don"t see the symptoms in you." She angled her head slightly to meet his eyes.
Gabe placed a light kiss on her nose. "That"s because I"ve had two months to decompress before you got home. I was just like you when I arrived home. I hated crowds, hated the noise, didn"t want to be around people. I"m glad I have my condo because I could hide there, go scuba diving, hunt for abalone, jog daily on the beach at Coronado and just let the c.r.a.p slough off my shoulders." His mouth thinned and his voice deepened. "Now I know what it feels like for a wife or girlfriend who worries about her man who"s in combat. I found myself worrying about you all the time. I didn"t like not knowing where you were and what was happening to you."
"Yes, but you had an edge," Bay reminded him. "You could go over to team headquarters and talk to me by Skype. And we had emails. And you had the master chief who fed you info on me via the SEAL team back at Camp Bravo."
"I know, but the worry is always present, Bay. It never goes away." Gabe shook his head. "I can only imagine how a wife handles not knowing. Or a husband whose wife is in an area of combat overseas."
"It"s rough," Bay acknowledged softly, content to remain in his arms. "That"s why there"s such a high divorce rate in the SEAL community. You don"t know where your husband is. Most are out on missions and they can"t email very much. I don"t know how spouses cope."
"I don"t, either, because I found my day consumed with worry about you," Gabe admitted.
Bay picked up Gabe"s right hand and brought it to her lips, kissing the back of it and then gently turning it and placing his palm against her heart. "There"s nothing easy about war, Gabe. There never will be."
"My enlistment is coming for renewal while I"m stateside," he told her, feeling the warmth of her long fingers around his hand. Every cell in his body screamed to take her and love her. Yet Gabe knew it would be at least a week before the swelling along her ribs would go away. And he had no desire to pressure Bay, because she was fragile.
"Really?" Bay sat up and slowly turned around, legs crossed, opposite him. "What are you going to do?"
Gabe picked up her hands and held them gently. "I"ve done four rotations. I"ve been hit by bullets two different times. Every time that happens, Bay, I realized I could have died and didn"t. And then I go through a h.e.l.luva lot of emotions about it. Death staring you in the face has a funny way of getting your attention." His mouth turned grim. "I can see you wrestling with it right now because of your own experience."
"That"s true," she admitted, seeing the darkness in his eyes. "I feel like a leaf in a storm, emotionally speaking."
"I"ve had it happen to me twice. And I"m thinking I don"t want to go through it again. I know I have my lucky rabbit"s foot, but the poor thing is hairless." Gabe shared a grin with her.