aSage and Red Cap left Shadowfell to spread word of the rebellion to their own kind in the west,a I said. aThe Good Folk of the north, those who live under Shadowfell, were going on a similar mission. And there was talk of using birds, or fey folk who can fly, to carry the message. I was wondering if word had traveled ahead of us. Now that weave found you, Iam sure of it.a aBirds. Extraordinary. But, then, you have a habit of making the extraordinary happen.a Tali told him about Regan and the others: where they had gone, what they hoped to achieve before next winter closed the paths. Flint listened in silence. Of his own business he told us nothing. The sun moved into the west; the shadows began to lengthen. Flint took off his cloak and put it around my shoulders. Tali was restless, getting up, walking a few paces, sitting down again.
aGifts,a I said, realizing I had forgotten this important aspect of dealing with the Good Folk. aWe should make an offering to show goodwill.a aYou think the Hagas going to come out for a sc.r.a.p of bread or a strip of dried meat?a Tali sounded unconvinced. aThatas about all we have to offer.a aCould we make a fire? Perhaps find some herbs and cook some kind of soup?a A hag, I thought, might have few teeth left; I imagined her dipping the bread in the warm soup to soften it. It would be a comforting meal in the chill of the sea wind.
My warrior companions tackled the task with the same calm efficiency theyad applied to sailing the boat. Tali went off and helped herself to a supply of peat, which she carried back in her cloak. I hoped there might be some way we could repay the islanders; in a place that had so little, everything would be precious. A second trip yielded the withered remains of a bush that had succ.u.mbed to the winter weather, and Tali soon had a campfire burning on the landward side of the low wall. Meanwhile, I went out onto the moorland in search of herbs, returning with a better harvest than I had expected, for sage and thyme both grew here, sending their roots deep between the rocks, and by a lochan where long-legged birds waded, I found a supply of early cresses.
By the time I got back, Flint had water boiling in the small cook pot he carried everywhere, and various ingredients ready to add: a handful of oats, the dried meat shaved into slivers, some wizened mushrooms that had seen better days, shreds of vegetable matter that might have been carrot or turnip.
aI thought it best to wait for your approval,a he said, looking up with one of his rare smiles.
aThat looks good to me. You carry vegetables in your pack these days?a aI brought a few things from Pentishead.a A sharp memory came: Flint feeding me as I lay grievously sick. Flint so patient and kind, at a time when Iad believed him my enemy. How much had changed since then. And how little time we had. Only two days. Let there be time alone. Let there be time for me to talk to him properly, to touch, to tell him a So much to be said, and none of it possible with Tali present, Tali who was always quick to remind me that soft feelings were c.h.i.n.ks in a warrioras armor. I felt, already, that she was watching us.
aAt the very least, the three of us will get a good supper,a I said.
Tali came to crouch by the fire and warm her hands. aI hope the plan isnat to sleep out here on the cliff top if n.o.body comes.a I said nothing. If n.o.body came, there was no plan. We would spend some time on the island, I supposed, and I would try to find some Good Folk here and ask if they knew where the Hag was to be found. I could call them to help me if I must. But I would not call a Guardian. That would truly be overreaching myself.
aSomeone will come,a I said with more confidence than I felt. aIf itas not until tomorrow, we can sleep in the shelter of this wall.a Talias expression told me what she thought of that suggestion. The wind was blowing hard now, stirring up the ocean all around the island. Out to the west I could see a small, cliff-bound isle I remembered from the Northiesa map. Today it wore a collar of white. I imagined wild breakers lashing the rocks. Not even seals would go in there.
aDoes that island have a name?a I asked Flint.
aFar Isle. Populated mostly by seals.a aIt looks too steep even for them.a Flint seemed about to speak, then apparently thought better of it. Instead, he took up a stick and gave the broth a stir. I leaned across and dropped in the herbs I had been shredding. The mixture smelled good.
aIad have liked some fish,a Tali said. aTomorrow, maybe.a She glanced at Flint. aWonat you be needing the boat?a Flint made no reply. It occurred to me that Talias delicate question had nothing to do with his getting back to the mainland. She was talking about his mission in the isles, whatever it was. A mission for the king. He would hardly be going about that with the a.s.sistance of the local fishermen. He had friends on Ronanas Isle, or so it seemed. What if he had been sent here to kill someone?
Flint sat silent, gazing at the glowing peat, the flickering flames, the mixture simmering in the pot. It was plain he had no intention of offering us any information.
Time pa.s.sed. The broth smelled ready to eat, and I realized I was hungry. The sun was low, setting a gold light on Talias strong features. Flint remained wrapped in his thoughts.
Suddenly Talias gaze sharpened. She rose slowly to her feet, putting up a hand to shade her eyes. aWhat in the name of the G.o.ds is that?a she said.
It was a clouda"a swift-moving cloud approaching over the sea, from the lonely cliffs of Far Isle. Birds. A great throng of birds, a flight to dwarf the flock that had heralded our arrival on this sh.o.r.e. And below them in the water, sleek and elegant as a swan, came a boat.
aI thought you said that place was only inhabited by seals,a I murmured as the hairs on the back of my neck p.r.i.c.kled with awareness of the uncanny.
But Flint said not a word.
WE STOOD NEAR THE CLIFF TOP WATCHING AS the craft approached. It came in a gliding motion, pa.s.sing over the turbulent waters as if on a tranquil loch: a long, low vessel with a high prow, its sail of a shimmering pale fabric that surely should have been torn to shreds by the sharp westerly wind. The great cloud of birds cast a shadow on the sea, and yet where the boat cleaved the water, there was no shadow, but pale light.
aA woman,a Tali said, narrowing her eyes against the sun. aDressed in a hooded cape. A big man with her. Or is it a creature?a aIs she old? Young?a aI canat tell,a said Tali. aHer hair is long. Could be white, could be fair. Sheas sitting very straight. Broad shoulders. Looks tall.a After a moment she added, aThe boat seems to be sailing itself.a The air around us throbbed with magic, a dangerous magic the likes of which I had not sensed since the Master of Shadows revealed himself to me in Oddas Hole.
aItas the Hag,a I said. aI can feel her power.a I was both elated and sick with terror.
Flint stood close beside me. He still hadnat spoken. Now, as the uncanny boat came nearer, he put his arm around my shoulders, heedless of what Tali might think. I closed my eyes. My fear eased; my heart quieted. I felt the warmth of his touch in my whole body. Store this up, I told myself. Keep this feeling for when heas gone. I rested my head against Flintas shoulder; he whispered something I did not catch.
aTurn, turn,a muttered Tali urgently. I opened my eyes and realized I had been in a kind of dream. The boat was very close to land now and showed no sign of slowing. aBlack Crowas curse, what is she doing?a The cloud of birds was almost upon us; the boat went out of sight, somewhere down at the base of the cliffs.
aSheall be smashed to pieces,a Tali said in flat disbelief. aThere canat be a landing place down there.a The birds pa.s.sed over us, not squawking and crying, but silent. They circled, then landed, a sea of white along the cliff top and all around us. On the wall close by I spotted a gull wearing little boots.
aWe must do somethinga"fetch helpa"a Tali moved perilously close to the cliffas edge, craning her neck.
I looked at the uncanny bird. It turned its head to one side and stared back.
aWe should wait,a I said. aThat was no ordinary boat and no ordinary sailor.a When Iad seen the Guardians in that vision, in Oddas Hole, the Hag had said, Be fluid as water. aIf itas the Hag, her strength is water magic. Maybe she doesnat need a landing place.a aHow can we just wait? What if aa Tali fell silent as Flint and I moved back to the fire and sat down, side by side. After a little she came over and stood beside us, arms folded. aI hope youare right,a she said. aIf we could have saved someone and did nothing aa aIf an ordinary fishing boat went in under there, the crew would be dead before you could fetch help,a said Flint. aOr are you suggesting we descend the cliff on a very long rope?a aThatas just it,a said Tali. aEven if they do land, how will they get up?a aSmells good,a someone said. All three of us started in surprise; the person had come from nowhere. She was standing behind Tali now, long silver hair flowing down over her shoulders, rivulets of water running from her robe to pool on the rocks around us. We rose to our feet.
The woman was certainly tall. She could look down on both Tali and Flint. Her stance was proud. Hers was a strong face, the nose jutting, the cheekbones prominent, the jaw firm. Her eyes a They were odd indeed, elongated in shape, and of many colors: deep green, seal gray, the blue of a summer sky, and the blue of the sea under winter clouds, all at once. Her mouth was wide and thin-lipped, her expression calm. A hag? I would not have called her that. Perhaps she was old, but she seemed more a ageless. Her skin was not the wrinkled parchment my grandmotheras had been at the end, but pale and unblemished.
aWelcome to our fire,a I said when I had found my voice. aWill you share our supper?a Tali made a little sound, and I saw someone else come up behind the woman. If she was human in shape, save for those eyes, her companion most certainly was not. He stood as tall as she, but his form was rounded, ma.s.sive, sleek under a cloak of shining weed. His face was something between a manas and a sealas, and though his bulk was formidable, he wore an expression that could only be described as kindly. My grandmother had told me stories of selkie folk, beings that were part seal, part man or woman, creatures that changed their shape between land and sea. But here we were on dry land, and the being was neither man nor seal, but a himself.
aYou are both welcome,a I said shakily, regretting that we had not taken the time to catch some fish while we could. aPlease, sit with us awhile.a The Hag, for I was sure this was she, sat down gracefully by the fire, her hair a pale shawl over her shoulders and down her back. Her robe was of shifting green and had many layers. Its fabric seemed rough, the edges tattered and torn, but the effect was pleasing. It was as if the garment had not been made, but had grown around her as naturally as foliage on a plant. Her companion lowered himself to the ground beside her. I tried not to stare. The creature had limbs like a manas, he sat like a man, but no man ever had such a strange, compelling face. After a moment, Flint seated himself beside me. Tali remained standing, her staff in hand.
aThere is no need to stand guard,a the Hag said. aUnless, of course, you have a particular fear of birds. Sit where I can see you.a Tali opened her mouth to argue, then thought better of it. She took a place on my other side. There was nothing relaxed about her pose as she met the Hagas penetrating gaze.
With Flintas a.s.sistance I ladled the brew into bowls. We only had three among us. Seeing this, the Hag turned her head to meet the strange eyes of her companion, and from somewhere within his swathing weedlike draperies he produced a pair of half sh.e.l.ls.
n.o.body said another word until we had finished our meal, Flint and I sipping the brew from the sh.e.l.ls, the others using bowls.
aSo,a the Hag said, setting down her empty bowl. aA long journey for you, and barely begun. Word came to us that youad had a bit of help along the way.a When I looked at her blankly, she added, aOne of the river creatures.a aOh. Yes, I a We were attacked, and I had no other choice. If the river being had not come to our aid, we would have been killed.a I hesitated, not sure how much to reveal so early. aI try not to use my gift unless I must. I know how perilous power can be when not properly controlled.a aAye? Then you know something, at least.a She examined me, her changeable eyes drawing me in. aNeryn, is that your name?a aYes. My guard here is Tali, and a this is my friend.a Flint used various names, and he might not wish to be introduced to a stranger by any of them.
aOh, aye, we ken who the laddie is.a That was the second time Iad heard my formidable man called a laddie. So she knew him; or knew of him, at least. Perhaps she knew every creature that walked these isles, animal and human, canny and uncanny. I cleared my throat, not sure whether to get straight to the point or spend more time in preliminary niceties.
aYouall be wanting to come over to the island, then.a Clearly the Hag preferred a direct approach. aI was hoping you might be prepared to teach me. To begin my training in the wise use of my gift. I see you have been told some of my story already. Did the a messenger a explain why it is I need to learn this?a Come over to the island. So the Hag did live on that lonely, cliff-bounded rock out there, the gannetsa roost. A formidable place. Isolated. Uncanny. Safe. A place where Flint and I might be left alone for a day, a night, another day, to walk together, talk together, perhaps to sleep side by side as we had done before, but not quite the same, because each of us knew now how precious those times were.a aAye,a said the Hag, startling me out of my daydream. aWhen one of your kind steps up like this, thereas only one reason for it, and thatas a change in the pattern of things. As for teaching you, Iall be wanting to find out how much you know and how much you need to know. That will take time.a aHow much time?a Tali asked the question I had decided to hold back.
The curious eyes turned to meet the dark ones of my guard. aLong enough,a said the Hag mildly. aLonger if we sit about here exchanging the time of day. We should be on our way.a aSo we do have to sail over to that little island?a aAfraid of the sea, are you?a The Hagas eyes were the gray of ocean under storm as she gazed at me.
This question was a test. If I pretended to a courage I did not possess, she would see through it instantly. I thought quickly and gave her an honest answer. aI would be foolish not to be afraid, since the sea is many times more powerful than any human woman.a aNeryn canat swim,a put in Tali. aItas not unreasonable for her to be scared of boats.a aGather your possessions,a said the Hag, getting gracefully to her feet. Her strange companion also rose. aMy vessel stands ready.a A crazy thought came to me, that she might bid us jump from the cliff top. The Master of Shadows had once commanded me to leap into deep water after all. And how else were we to make our way to whatever anchorage lay at the cliffas foot? How had she and her companion reached us so quickly, save by magic? No path could safely traverse such a sheer drop.
She turned to walk away along the cliff top. After a few strides she halted, and the rest of us halted behind her. The Hag turned.
aOne companion only,a she said, looking at me. Her glance moved to Tali, then to Flint.
aNo,a I breathed, and my heart clenched into something tight and painful. aNo, thatas nota"a aYou may bring only one. Choose quickly.a Flint had become suddenly still. I looked up at him. His face was a stony mask. aThereas no choice about it,a he said. aTali is your guard and companion. She must stay with you.a Hot tears flooded my eyes. To wait so long, and then not even have time to talk to him properly, not even to have a moment alone, not a I wanted to say it wasnat fair, but that would be a childas complaint, and this was not a childas business. I forced myself to turn toward the Hag and give her a respectful nod. aI understand.a Try as I might, I could not keep my voice steady. aPlease, may we have a few moments to say goodbye?a The Hag folded her arms. I could almost feel her counting.
Tali reached out to take my staff from me. She jerked her head toward the stone wall, indicating that we should go a little distance away. This unexpected kindness made the tears spill from my eyes. We moved away from the others, Flint and I, until we were standing up by the wall. Tali turned her back and stared out to sea. The Hag and her companion simply stood there waiting. Whatever I might want to say to Flint must be said within their hearing. Donat show her your anger, I told myself, or she might refuse to teach you, and then where would you be? Donat let your feelings get in the way of the cause. That had never been so hard as it was now.
aIam sorry,a I whispered, taking Flintas hands in mine and wishing he would let that mask slip, just for a little. aI wanted this more than anything a time together, even a day, after so long.a I had hoped you might be there in spring. At Shadowfell.a Old habits were hard to break; I found myself glancing over my shoulder before I spoke this name. aThank you for bringing us safely across.a I couldnat say anything of what I felt, I couldnat speak a tender word, I couldnat tell him how I missed him and feared for him every day, how I longed for him to be close, how my dreams of him confused and troubled me even as I clung to the glimpses they brought me. aThis is hopeless,a I murmured, freeing a hand to scrub my cheeks.
aBe safe,a Flint said. aTali will guard you well. This is a rare opportunity, Neryn; seize it with all your strength.a There was, perhaps, a very slight unsteadiness in his voice. But maybe I only imagined that.
Silence for a few heartbeats, no longer. We stood with hands clasped, looking into each otheras eyes. Then the Hag said, aTime to go.a aI wisha"a That was all my tears allowed me to say.
aI too, dear heart,a said Flint, and now I heard in his voice what his exemplary self-control had kept from his face. He felt as I did, as if his heart were being wrenched out of his chest. aPerhaps this is best. We are each otheras weakness.a aWe are each otheras hope,a I said, and although every instinct urged me to throw my arms around him, to press my body against his, to hold him close, I withdrew my hands from his and took a step back. To be a warrior of Shadowfell was to put the cause before all else. aBe safe. Dream of good things.a He said nothing, but I felt the weight of his gaze as I turned and walked away, down to where the Hag stood tall and quiet, waiting for me. Tali had been transferring items from Flintas bag to her own, fastening the straps. Now she put my staff in my hand.
aIam ready,a I said. I did not turn back; if I looked at Flint now, I would fall to pieces.
aFarewell, comrade!a Tali called to him. aSafe journey.a aFarewell,a he said quietly, and it was the saddest thing I ever heard.
aCome,a said the Hag. aFollow me.a She spread out her arms, raising them high, and there was a whirling sensation, as if sky and sea, cliff top and flock of birds, were turned and tumbled in a great wind, and we were turning and tumbling too, helpless before its power. I clutched the staff, wondering if we might be blown all the way across to Far Isle. But no; the wind stopped and the whirling motion ceased, and here we were in the boat, putting out from the foot of the cliff with the gulls wheeling and dipping around us, their shrill voices raised now in an echoing chorus. The waves crashed against the rocks behind us; wherever the boat had been moored, it surely could not have been there. But there was nowhere else. Tali was pale with shock; I imagined I looked even worse, red-eyed, sniffing, startled, and sad, not to speak of the way my stomach was protesting about the movement of the boat. The Hag sat serenely beside me, amidships; her selkie companion was in the stern, half-reclining on a padded bench. Gulls perched all along the rails, their heads turned uniformly westward.
When we were some distance out from sh.o.r.e, I looked back, craning my neck to find the spot where wead been on the cliff top. Was it there, near that deep fissure that sliced the rock face like a mortal wound? Or there, where I thought I could make out a short length of drystone wall? I could not see him. Not anywhere.
aLook forward, not back,a the Hag said. aAll is change. Do not regret. Instead, learn.a What was I supposed to learn from this? That losing someone you love hurts? I had learned that lesson long before I met Flint, learned it over and over. As for All is change, that part I understood. Water was the Hagas element. Water was all change, from the icicles that frosted the eaves to the boiling pot on the fire, from the bog that sucked down the unwary traveler to the tear on a babyas cheek. From this heaving ocean swell to the mysterious, still pond above Maidenas Tears, where pale fish glided by moonlight, rising to their sacrifice on the fishermanas hook.
But some things did not change, I thought, watching Tali as she sat in the bow with the wind blowing her dark hair around her stern features. Courage, for instance. Dedication to a cause. Comradeship. When they were strong and pure, when they came from deep in the bone, those qualities could hold fast against all odds. Surely they could. If that was not true, then how could Reganas Rebels succeed in their mission? And what about love? If love changed as easily as the turning of the tide, did that mean Flint and I might become enemies again, and lose the precious thing that had grown between us?
I was still turning this over in my mind when we reached Far Isle and sailed straight on past it. The look on the Hagas face forbade questions such as Where are we going? I saw, as we pa.s.sed, that Far Isle was not the uninhabited rock we had a.s.sumed it to be, but had on its western side a settlement above a sheltered anchorage where a number of fishing boats were drawn up. Higher up was a swath of grazing land dotted with long-haired island sheep like those we had seen on Ronanas Isle. I saw walled gardens, washing on a line, and, farther around the bay, seals basking on the flat rocks above the water. There were women on the rocks too, gathering somethinga"seaweed, sh.e.l.lfisha"but not one of them looked up as we pa.s.sed. Either they knew the Hag and her unusual companion already, or they could not see us. The vessel headed on into the west; this island too fell away behind us.
aHow much farther?a Tali asked the question for me.
aHumankind lacks patience.a aBy your standards, perhaps,a Tali countered. aUnder the circ.u.mstances, it seems a reasonable enough question. It will be night soon, and I see no land ahead.a aYou are the guard. It is not for you to ask.a Talias dark eyes narrowed. aMy job is to keep Neryn safe,a she said, and there was a note in her voice I had heard before, one that tended to make folk obey her without further argument. aShe hates boats. She feels sick. You made her leave her friend behind. We expected to land on Far Isle; didnat you say that was where we were going? My job is to protect a person from danger. Danger comes in many different forms. It doesnat always consist of a big man with a weapon.a The selkieas mouth stretched into a smile.
aYou think the Hag of the Isles dwells among human folk?a The Hag did not sound annoyed by Talias challenge, merely surprised. aThat would be reckless indeed. We have long shunned their company, though the folk of Far Isle know us. They are true islanders: a different breed from the rest of you.a Her changeable gaze went from one of us to the other. aThe Caller has much to learn. But the learning itselfa"that is quite simple. Your own job, simpler still. Guard the Caller with your life.a I saw Tali bite back an angry response. I hated the thought of anyone dying for me, even though I knew any of the rebels was prepared to do just thata"Reganas orders put my safety ahead of anyone elseas. I was Shadowfellas secret weapon.
The boat sailed on westward. Seeing that neat settlement with the smoke rising from its hearth fires and the setting sun shining on its gra.s.sy field, I had allowed myself to think about a comfortable bed, a good meal, and a little time on my own to grieve the loss of Flint before I must begin my training. This was plainly not to be. The vessel continued on its path, and the cloud of gulls kept pace. Now they were joined by sea creatures, seals and other, stranger beings, diving and swimming and dancing around the vessel.
There was, eventually, another island. Hardly an island; more of a rock. As we approached it, our vessel maintaining its stately pa.s.sage through increasingly choppy waters, my heart sank still lower. This was where the Hag lived? This was where Tali and I must stay while she taught me? There was nothing here but sharp edges, tangled weed, and a few clinging sh.e.l.lfish. I looked at Tali. She looked at me. The boat came up close to the skerry, and Tali gathered her possessions, including the well-wrapped iron weaponry. I saw in her eyes the decision to be fluid; to let what would happen, happen. With a warrioras control she relaxed her body and made her face calm.
The boat edged in beside a rock shelf, needing no rope or oars to hold it in place.
aGet out,a said the Hag. aYou are her guard and companion; keep her safe.a Tali got out onto the rocks, then reached to help me step over from the boat. The selkie moved along the craft, and somehow my bundle and my staff were there on the rocks beside me, and now the boat was moving away with both the Hag and the selkie still aboard.
aWait!a I called in panic. aYouare leaving us here? Why? Iam here to learn, I mean no harm.aa aI should have known,a muttered Tali as the boat set sail once more, apparently straight back to Far Isle. aOf course they donat live out here, who would? My guess is the two of them are off home to a nice wee cottage, a warm supper, and a snug bed.a A sharp gust caught us, driving salt spray into our faces. I teetered a moment. The rocks were slick under our feet. It would be so easy to fall. I imagined thrashing about in that churning water, and how impossible it would be to climb back up, even supposing I could swim to the rocks. This skerry was about twice the size of the dining area at Shadowfell. In a storm, the waves might wash right over it.
aRight,a said Tali. aShelter. Food. Fresh water. Who knows how long weave been dumped out here for? Follow me, and watch your footing. Iad rather not have to dive in and fish you out.a The situation was dire. There was no shelter beyond a shallow cave a little higher up, and even that was wet. I wondered when it would be high tide and how far up the rocks the sea would come. Tali examined every corner of the islet, her mouth tight. There was no fresh water. We got out our cooking pot and wedged it in a crevice. Rain might fill it; a wave might as easily wash over and ruin any drinking water we gathered. Beyond a few sh.e.l.lfish clinging to the rocks there was no food to be had.
aWeall ration our supplies, including our water,a Tali said with commendable steadiness. aAnd we can throw in a fishing line. Weall be eating our fish raw. Thereas no making fire without fuel. As for those barnacles, a person could ruin a good knife getting them off the rocks, and theread be barely a mouthful in each, but we will need a few for bait.a She gave me a penetrating look. aNot much of a welcome, is it? Are we certain she actually wants to help?a aShe did come to meet us.a I gathered my cloak more tightly around me; all my clothing was damp. aThis must be some part of the learning.a aBlack Crowas curse! Well, whatever it is, I hope itas over quickly. I would say this isnat the worst place Iave ever spent the night in, hoping to take that stricken look off your face, but Iad be lying.a aYour job isnat to make me feel better.a aNo?a There was a trace of a smile on her face as she eyed me. aCome on, letas do what we can to make this shelter habitable. And pray for calm weather.a The shallow cave was a meager refuge. Neither of us slept more than a s.n.a.t.c.h at a time. The wind screamed in our ears. The harsh voice of the waves was all around us. Under a clear sky, it was bitter cold. Tali made me lie against the rock wall with her in front of me, which meant she bore the brunt of the gale. Wead put on every garment we had and spread the two blankets over us, but the cold was unrelenting. I felt it in my chest, in my temples, in my ears. I wrapped my shawl around my head and considered why the Hag would have done this. Hadnat I already shown, over and over, that I could endure hardship? Hadnat the Master of Shadows acknowledged that I had the Calleras gift? Shead come to fetch us. Shared our meal. Ferried us in her boat. She seemed to know quite a bit of my story. And now this. It made no sense at all.
Huddling against Talias back as my hands and feet grew numb, I wondered if the two of us would die of cold before morning. What had I done wrong? What had I said to bring this down upon us?
aGet up,a Tali said suddenly, stumbling to her feet, awkward in the cold and dark. The moment she moved, I felt the true force of the wind.
aWhata"a aGet up.a Now she was hauling me to my feet. aStamp your feet, clap your hands. Not over therea"a She grabbed my arm, steadying me as I wobbled on uneven rocks. aStay on this flat part or you might fall. Keep moving about. We can sleep by daylight, when itas warmer.a aYouare crazy,a I muttered, making a clumsy effort to obey. My limbs had lost their feeling and lack of sleep had made my head muzzy. aIf we had the Ladder here, no doubt youad be making me run up and down it in the dark.a aIf that was the only way to keep you alive, yes.a She was swinging her arms, stamping, stretching. The moon showed me her white face, her dark eyes, the cloud of her breath in the freezing night air. aPick up the pace, Neryn. This is the kind of thing I trained you for. Donat let me down now I ask you to put it into practice, or my initial a.s.sessment of you will be proved right.a A small flame of anger awoke somewhere inside me. aOh, and what a.s.sessment was that?a I bent and stretched, stamped and clapped, hating her as wead all done from time to time when pushed too hard.
aThat you were a wee girl wandering where she didnat belong, trying to do a job that was far too big for her. A girl who hadnat the first idea what kind of life shead need to live if she became one of Reganas Rebels. Like a snowdrop poking its hopeful head up in a field of thistles.a aNot very flattering,a I muttered between squats. aBut, then, my a.s.sessment of you was harsh in its turn.a For a while she did not rise to the bait. She held her silence as she got down on the rocks to stretch out in the exercise known among the recruits of Shadowfell as the Plank. If she was still limber enough to do that, she had far better resistance to the cold than I did.
aWell, then?a she asked eventually, still balanced on toes and fingertips, her body stretched in a strong, straight line.
aWell, what?a aIam sure you want to tell me what you thought of me, that first day.a aWhen you apprehended me and marched me to Regan for questioning?a We both fell silent then, for that had been a day of blood and death. The rebels had won their battle; it had been a victory. But their losses lay heavily on the folk of Shadowfell.
aI was surprised. Impressed that a woman not much older than me could be a leader of warriors. I thought you were formidable. Angry. Rude. I decided we were destined to dislike each other. It was plain you thought me nothing but a nuisance.a I paused, finding it too hard to talk and perform Talias exercises at the same time. There was no doubt I felt somewhat warmer, but the moment I stopped moving, the bitter cold would envelop me once more. aTali, we donat have to do this all night, do we?a aDepends on whether you want to wake up in the morning.a A pause. aAre there Good Folk out here? Couldnat you ask them for help?a aThereas something here, or nearby.a But that could be part of the test. Not calling if we can survive without it.a aMm-hm. Iad say this situation is pretty close to desperate. It certainly will be within a few days.a aIf it comes to that point, I will call them, I promise.a A silence. Then she said, aDonat worry about me. Youare the one who matters. Make sure you donat let this go on so long that you risk your health. After all, Iam only the guard.a Clearly, the Hagas remarks had disturbed her. aWeare comrades, Tali,a I said quietly. aPartners. We look after each other. Thatas what happened at the river, the last time I used my gift.a She said nothing for a while. The two of us began the sequence of exercises again, side by side.
aIam sorry.a I heard that the apology cost her something to make.
aFor what?a aI misjudged you at the start. And for a long time afterward.a aYou did, yes. And I misjudged you.a aWhich bit, angry, rude, or formidable?a I felt myself smiling. aYou know you can be all three. But thereas more to you than that. Kindness. Courage. Sound judgment. It took me a while to see those things.a aYour mind was on Flint, no doubt.a That was enough to make me halt the sequence of bend, stretch, run on the spot to the count of ten. aTali.a aMm? Keep moving, Neryn.a aWhy do you think Flintas here? In the islands?a aWhen a whole troop rides somewhere outside culling time, itas usually to visit a chieftainas stronghold. There can be all sorts of reasons for that, from investigating rumors of disloyalty to drumming up support for some venture to come. But thereas no chieftain in the isles now. If the troop split up, perhaps theyave been ordered to account for a number of individual targetsa"local leaders whoave dared speak out against the king, folk whoave been reported as exhibiting canny skills. Keldecas still looking for a Callera"you know that, donat you?a aI know.a The thought chilled my heart.
aSince Flintas come over here on his own, his most likely purpose is a.s.sa.s.sination. Who the target might be, I canat imagine. The kingas left the western isles out of the Cull for the last two autumns.a My attempt at running on the spot had become a sad shuffle. My legs were refusing to accept that it was not bedtime. I did not want to think about the implications of her words.
aTake a rest, Neryn. Wead best not exhaust ourselves, since we have limited food and water. But donat stand completely still or youall get cold again. Walk on the spot and rub your arms. Sure you donat want my cloak?a I shook my head. aYou need it. Iall be all right.a I did as she suggested, for the chill was quick to return as soon as I stood still. aAll I wanted was one day.a This came out of me without warning, as if what was pent up inside had only been waiting for a moment of kindness to be set free. aJust one. One day, one night. After so long. She didnat have to do that, there was plenty of room in the boat.aa I made myself stop. Iad never have shown my weakness in front of Tali if I hadnat been so desperate for sleep.
aI hate to be blunt, Neryn, but for you and Flint itas probably better this way. He has a job to do. A job thatas going to be hard for him, either way. Put him out of your mind and concentrate on surviving.a With the coming of dawn the air slowly warmed, but the wind was a constant presence, whipping at our clothing, clawing at our skin. I offered to fish; Tali pointed out that shead have to watch me anyway, in case I fell in, so she might as well be the one to throw in a line. In the event, I sat beside her, helping bait the hooks with morsels of sh.e.l.lfish. I gazed over toward Far Isle, wondering what the Hag was expecting me to do.
aIave been in tighter corners,a Tali said.
aReally?a aNot much tighter, to tell you the truth. I wonder if the plan is that I teach you to swim and then the two of us splash back over there.a aI hope youare joking.a She managed a lopsided grin. aI wouldnat attempt such a feat even on my own, and Iam a strong swimmer. Have you considered that she might be testing your common sense? If there are Good Folk somewhere close, what harm in calling them now?a aNot yet. We can last one more day, at least.a It surely couldnat be as simple as that.
aOnce our waterskins are empty, weall be in trouble without steady rain. And we canat store much. As for the lack of shelter, thatas going to take a toll over the next few days. Weall be cold and tired, and weare likely to get impatient with each other. And weall become careless. I donat need to spell out what that could lead to.a There was a tug on her line, and all her concentration was on pulling in the catch. I watched as she landed a sizable codfish, which she killed with one quick blow.
aGood,a she said. aWe eat today, at least, and save our rations for tomorrow. How are you at gutting and scaling?a In response I put out my hand for the fish. aWhy donat you sleep while I do this? This may be as warm as the dayas going to get.a She made to protest, but I forestalled her. aIall sit up next to the shelter and I wonat go anywhere near the water. Promise.a aDonat leave fish guts all over the place. Weare going to get filthy enough as it is.a A sequence of difficult days pa.s.sed; we kept count with scratches on the rock. Just before our water supply ran out, we had a night of thunderous rain. If wead had the means to collect it, we could have filled fifty waterskins. As it was, we gathered enough in the cooking pot to replenish the ones we had. The next morning we found a rock with a natural hollow at the top, brim-full of rainwater.
aFunny we didnat notice that before,a Tali remarked, running her hands through her salt-stiffened hair.
aWeare tired. Missing something isnat surprising. Itas when we start seeing things that arenat there that you need to start worrying.a I was trying to force a comb through my own hair, which was all knots. Much more of this and Iad be hacking it off as short as Talias. aSometimes I look back eastward and think I can see Ronanas Isle, and a moment later itas nothing but mist and shadows. And to the south, once or twice Iave caught a glimpse of a bigger island.a aThe Cradle, itas called.a It surprised me that she knew this. aIs that where Regan once lived?a Tali hesitated. Clearly this came into the category of information I did not need. On the other hand, the long days of isolation, cold, and damp made the two of us desperate for any distraction. aMm-hm. One of the largest islands. Several settlements. Or there were, back then. Reganas father was chieftain.a aAnd Flint?a aWherever it was he trained, it was kept secret. Close enough for him to visit the Cradle by boat. He always came on his own. A capable sailor from early days.a I hesitated, wanting to ask her how she and Fingal had first met the others, but knowing such questions went against the accepted codes of Shadowfell. aSo Regan was a chieftainas son,a I mused. aThat doesnat surprise me. Then he could have been ruler of the isles. Or were there brothers?a aItas his story, not mine. Yes, there were brothers. And sisters. And now thereas n.o.body. He had a choice: claim the chieftaincy and be cut down, or flee and live to fight a bigger battle. And thatas all Iam telling you.a Her features were tight, remembering. aIn that time there were two island leaders, one in the north, one in the south. Keldec got rid of both, and now I imagine he thinks the isles a safe place, spa.r.s.ely inhabited, with any figures of power snuffed out. Though Flintas current mission suggests that might have changed.a aThereas the Hag. Sheas most certainly a figure of power.a Tali grimaced. aIf the king knew she and the other Guardians were still about, thereas no telling what he might do. It would certainly be a lot more than sending one Enforcer to deal with the problem. Keldec greatly fears what he sees as the uncontrolled use of magic, whether by Good Folk or humankind.a aUncontrolled. Meaning, not controlled by him, yes? That explains a lot. Iad thought it strange that he has Enthrallers at his court, and other canny folk too, people like you and me, when heas so afraid of magic.a Tali shrugged. aIf folk are loyal to him, he can be confident theyall use their talents for his purposes, I suppose. Possibly Flint and the other Enthrallers have turned the minds of every canny person at court, so all of them slavishly obey the kingas will. Iave never asked Flint about it and I donat imagine you have either.a I made to answer, but a fit of coughing overtook me. It left me with an all-too-familiar feeling: that there was an iron band around my chest. I felt the scrutiny of Talias dark eyes.
aIam fine. Itas nothing. Why donat you lie down and try to sleep awhile? No need to fish today, thereas enough left over.a After days on the islet, we no longer thought in terms of food being cold or raw or less than fresh. What we caught, we ate.
The cough was persistent. I did my best to m.u.f.fle it as I sat hunched in my cloak, obeying Talias rule about not straying on my own. Not that there was far to go anyway. Beyond the small, flattish area by the shallow cave, the rocks were pitted with cracks and holes, a nightmare of sharp edges and sudden drops. The sea washed constantly against the islet as if keen to swallow it whole. Sometimes it tossed up seaweed, little fronded pieces and long, tough ribbons of kelp. Wead tried eating the smaller bits, but they had made us sick.
Today the sky was filled with long clouds like banners. I gazed toward Far Isle and allowed myself to picture the Hagas boat sailing over to fetch us back. She hadnat sent so much as a single bird to check if we were alive or dead. Not a gull. Not a crab. Not a tiny worm. Behind me in the shelter Tali lay still, a blanket over her, her dark lashes tranquil on her pale cheeks. Against the odds, fast asleep. I wished her good dreams.
I was in a half dream myself, born of weariness and hunger, when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. What was that down at the wateras edge, tumbling and turning in the wash of the waves?
aTali!a I said sharply. aWood! Quick!a She had been sleeping heavily and was slow to rouse. Too slowa"the precious timbers would float away before we could secure them. I scrambled down the rocks, slipping and sliding, until I thought maybe I could reach them without falling in. Wavelets slapped up over my feet, drenching already wet shoes. I set one hand on the rocks for balance, used the other to tuck the hem of my skirt into my belt, then stretched down.
aNeryn, wait!a Her voice startled me. I teetered, then righted myself, heart pounding. In that turmoil of dark, shifting water, I would not last to a count of five. Iad go under before I could s.n.a.t.c.h a breath, and Tali would likely be drowned trying to save me. I waited, and the wood began to drift away.
aHere.a She was beside me, pa.s.sing me her staff. aIall hold on to you; you lean out and hook it in closer. Ready?a She braced her legs and held me around the waist. I leaned out over the churning waves.
aGood,a Tali said as the staff caught the floating wood and drew it in toward the rocks. aSteady; just hold it and let the water do the rest. Thatas it.aa We managed to get six pieces of wood in; the rest drifted beyond our reach. Six solid lengths of timber, dark and heavy with seawater. They had perhaps been part of a ship, some vessel that had foundered on a skerry like this one. We dragged our bounty up to the shelter.
aToo wet to burn,a Tali said, hands on hips as she examined the wood. Each piece was a handspan broad and about one good stride in length. aAnd it wonat dry out in this place. Besides, thereas nothing to get a fire started with, unless you feel like chopping off your hair.a aMy hairas as wet as everything else,a I pointed out.
aSo, no fire. But we can make these into a barrier to keep the worst of the wind out of our shelter. Two sets of three, tied in placea"I have rope in my pack. We can anchor it around the rocks.a aWith maybe seaweed for caulking,a I suggested. aWe could hammer it into a pulp and squash it into the gaps.a aMm-hm.a She was already getting out the coil of rope. aIam not keen to cut this; we may need the full length some other time.a aFor cliff-scaling.a aThatas a joke, I take it.a aThe best I can manage under the circ.u.mstances.a After a moment she said, aYouare doing well, Neryn.a aThank you.a Her praise was rarely given, and all the more precious for that. aI couldnat have done it without you.a aWe havenat done it yet,a she said, hands busy with rope and boards. aWhatever it is. But yes, itas easier when youare not on your own.a By the time the barrier was finished, I was yawning, worn out from the usual sleepless night. Tali went off to fish and I lay down in the shelter to rest. As I drifted off to sleep, it came to me that the Good Folk might not have abandoned us after all. The rock with a water-storing hollow had appeared after we made the best of the isletas meager offerings. Those floating timbers might have been guided in our direction when we had shown we were prepared to hunker down and get on with surviving. Maybe the next thing would be a boat, and rescue. I fell asleep heartened, despite the cold.
I could not have been more wrong, for when I woke before dusk, it was to find myself alone. Our bags, our staves, our waterskins lay on the rocks beside me. But Tali was gone.
MORNING. THE WASH OF THE SEA, THE SCREAM of gulls. Three days now, and each waking the same. The quick glance around, expecting to see her long, lean form; the tattoos dark against her pale skin; her shrewd, mocking eyes. The return of memory like a leaden weight. The sick, hollow recognition that I was all alone.
I sat in my blankets, sheltered by the odd arrangement of boards and rope, the last thing she had done that day before she went off to fish and vanished. At first, when Iad found her gone, Iad panicked. Iad searched frantically, shouting her name until I had no voice left, clambering desperately to every corner of the skerry in case Iad missed some clue. And then Iad forced myself to think clearly. How likely was it that Tali, capable, strong Tali, had fallen into the sea and drowned without so much as a shout? This was part of the test. Shead been removed. While I was sleeping, the Hag had come and taken her away.
When that day had turned to night, I had done the exercises she taught me, keeping my body warm in the long, lonely time of darkness. Bend, stretch, run on the spot. Squat, kick, rise. Attempt the Plank. Start over again. With gritted teeth and eyes streaming tears, I had kept on going. At last, worn out by exhaustion and sorrow, I had slept, and woken to an empty dawn.
And now here I was, three days later, still alone, still waiting. Keep to the routine, Tali would have said. It gives you something to hold on to. I made myself chew on a lump of raw fish, swallow a careful mouthful of water. My chest hurt, and it was hard to get the food and drink down.
Last night I had dreamed of Flint: Flint running, running as if death were snapping at his heels. His face ashen white, his eyes wild. An angry sky above, wind whipping his cloak. Someone with him, another man in dark clothing, trying to halt him, shouting, gesturing. Flint snarling a response and pushing on past.
There was no way to know if what I had seen was past, present, or future, or only a product of my own exhaustion. But I could not shake it from my mind. He was in trouble. Something had gone wrong.
No point in this; there were no answers. I got up, folded blankets and cloak, tidied the area as best I could. The air was full of salt spray, the rocks slippery underfoot. Heavy clouds ma.s.sed overhead; rain was close.
There were raw, angry patches on my skin, and I itched everywhere. My clothing hung in filthy tatters. Hope, I muttered to myself. Got to have hope. I realized I had sat down again, in a daze, too weary to remember what I was doing from one moment to the next. There was a longing in me to roll back into the damp bedding and shut my eyes to the world; to sleep until I woke no more. Something, some thread of awareness, kept me where I was, sitting with my arms around my knees, looking east toward Far Isle. Flint. Flint in trouble. How could I give up if he was out there somewhere, running from disaster?