XLII.
The town of Herculaneum was very small, very sleepy, and if any interesting women lived there, they were hidden behind locked doors.
There was no rubbish in the streets. At Pompeii the town council had to provide stepping stones to help pedestrians cross the dubious substances which seeped and stagnated from their roads; the Herculaneum councillors believed in wider pavements - wide enough to hold a hot-piemen"s convention, only it was a place which frowned on pies. And at Herculaneum rubbish never showed its face.
I hated Herculaneum. It had tasteful, well-scrubbed houses owned by people of little character who thought a lot of themselves. They lived in prim little streets. The men spent their days counting their money (of which they had plenty), while their good ladies were carried in closed litters from their own safe doorsteps into the homes of other respectable women, where they sat around plates of almond cakes and talked about nothing until it was time to go home again.
Unlike Pompeii, where we had to bawl to make ourselves heard, in Herculaneum you could stand in the Forum at the top of the town and still hear the seagulls at the port. If a child cried in Herculaneum its nursemaid dashed to gag it before it was sued for a breach of the peace. At Herculaneum the gladiators in the amphitheatre probably said "I beg your pardon? each time their swords did anything so impolite as landing a nick.
Frankly, Herculaneum made me want to jump on a public fountain and shout a very rude word.
Pompeii had informed me he would use up most of my lead on the orders we had already obtained. (The news came earlier than I calculated, though I was not surprised; I expected the plumber to cheat me a little, according to the customs of his trade.) So this was my last chance. We were here, with Nero and one last cartload of samples, hoping to prise out further details of Aufidius Crispus" plans (or even, if my luck took a special turn, to discover where the elusive sardine had parked his pretty ship).
I had no intention of visiting the magistrate Helena Justina had mentioned. I was sharp; I was tough; I was good at my job. I did not need a self-appointed supervisor. I would find my information for myself.
While I nosed round Herculaneum looking for it, I admitted to Larius that we had reached the limit of the expenses Vespasian would want to pay.
"Does that mean we have no money?"
"Yes; he"s mean with failure."
"Would he pay you more if you found something out?" "If he thought it was worth it."
Some people might panic; I felt shifty myself. But Larius uttered stoically, "We"d better make sure we discover something quick!"
I liked my nephew"s att.i.tude. He saw life in simple terms. Once again I mused how his tenacious approach would make Galla"s eldest an a.s.set in my line of work. I mentioned it, as Nero approached Herculaneum"s wide main street (it was called the Dec.u.momus Maximus, which is what every two-goose town in Italy calls its main street). Larius responded to my careers advice by telling me about a wall painter Ventriculus had introduced who was offering him summer employment sketching figures on a frieze.
I knew nothing about this; I was highly annoyed. I told my nephew what I thought of artists. His chin jutted, with the irritating tenacity I had previously admired.
This particular Dec.u.momus Maximus was the cleanest and quietest I ever saw. It was partly thanks to an immaculate vigilante who marched up and down there so respectable locals who needed to know if their dinner would be ready could ask him the time. His other method of serving the community was pointing out to layabouts like us that on the main boulevard at Herculaneum wheeled traffic was not allowed.
When he roared it out I had just noticed the bollards standing up like mileposts to block our way. We had been cruising towards the courthouse (I could see the sun glinting off a bronze charioteer outside this elegant basilica). There was an arch across the road ahead, which probably led to the forum, a row of shops alongside us, and a fountain which Nero was treating to a tentative sniff.
I hate disciplinarians. This one ordered us away from the Dec.u.momus with the good breeding I expect from a country official, which was none. For a bone bodkin I would have told him where to stuff his swagger stick, even if it meant we were run out of town... Larius caught my eye.
"Just tell him we"re sorry and we"ll go!"
I could not altogether blame the man for abusing us. My nephew and I had made the mistake of buying cheap holiday haircuts, with the usual preposterous results. We had gone to an open-air barber by the gladiators" barracks in Pompeii, who had taken three hours of sombre snipping to turn us out like murderers. Also, we were now eating pilchards wrapped in vine leaves, which no one from Herculaneum would Oran of doing in the street.
We turned downhill towards the port. There were side streets to either hand; Herculaneum was built on a pedantic Greek grid. To save me the trouble Nero chose a direction himself. It was a picturesque scene of overhangs and pilastered walkways; a basket-weaver dreaming on his stool, and an old woman who had been out for a lettuce who stood decrying modern society to another old baggage who had been out for a loaf. Into this maelstrom of the Herculaneum highlife our mad ox eagerly plunged.
The disaster happened quickly, as disasters love to do.
Nero swung off to the right. There was a packman"s donkey tethered outside a dosshouse, a strong young male with sleek ears and a pert backside: Nero had spotted the grand pa.s.sion of his life.
As he turned he rammed the cart hard against a pastry cook"s portico. The weight of lead held us fast, so he broke free. The vibrations from his joyful bellow brought down four rows of roof tiles. Stoneware went flying under his hooves as he ditched us and skittered through some potter"s produce with that special dainty, high-stepping tread of a bull on the loose, all set to swerve on the spot with a horn at the ready if approached. The parts of him that were supposed to be deactivated were swinging heavily, with perilous implications for the donkey.
Women burst onto first-floor balconies. In colonnades at street level little children squealed in terror then stopped, fascinated by the scene. I grabbed the rope we kept for winding round the ox"s horns and bounded after him, reaching Nero just as he reared and dropped onto his new friend. Young Ned wheezed, and squealed rape. Some misguided cookshop boy caught hold of Nero"s tail. Next minute all the breath was smashed out of me as a thousand pounds of copulating ox swung round to free his rear end and sideswiped me against the dosshouse wall.
The wall, which was made of cheap rubble in a wicker frame, sagged under me enough to prevent broken bones.
I rebounded out of the house wall in a shower of stucco and dust. By now Larius was darting about on the sidelines, squeaking useless advice. What I really needed was a harbour crane. I would have run away to hide, but one fifth of this maniacal bovine belonged to Petronius Longus, my best friend.
People were trying to rescue Neddy with anything to hand. Mostly they hit Larius and me by mistake. I walked face first into a hastily flung pail of water (or something), while my nephew took a nasty thwack from a marrow on the tender part of his neck. The donkey was trying to kick up his hind legs with some evidence of character, but once he got stuck underneath he could only brace himself for a painful surprise.
At Nero"s moment of glory fortune rescued us. His victim"s legs gave way (I had been frightened for his heart). a.s.s and ox collapsed to the ground. Ned scrambled up trembling, with a wild look in his eye. I swiftly la.s.sooed Nero round a back leg, Larius sat on his head, and our big boy wrestled savagely beneath us - then quite suddenly gave in.
We should have been the heroes. I did expect a tussle over compensation for damaged shop fronts, and perhaps a claim under some lesser-known branch of the Augustan marriage laws, for permitting a draught animal to spike a donkey adulterously. What happened was much more interesting. The vigilante from the Dec.u.momus Maximus had noticed us shouting at our ox with an Emperor"s name. We a.s.sured him he had misheard. We called Nero "Spot"; the fool ignored us. We called Nero "Nero" and he ignored it too, but apparently that didn"t count.
Larius and I were both arrested. For blasphemy.
XLIII.
The lockup for vagrants was a converted shop at the side of a temple.
"Well, this is a new one!" I chortled.
My nephew rea.s.sumed his old moody look. "Uncle, how are you going to tell my mother I"ve been in jail?"
"With great difficulty, I expect."
The jailor was an amiable duffer who shared his lunch. His name was Roscius. He had a grey spade-shaped beard and side whiskers; we gathered from his easy-going att.i.tude that Herculaneum was the sort of inferior town which frequently arrested innocent visitors. He did keep a cellar, where he dumped anyone who looked a bit foreign, but we two had the honour of being chained to a bench where he could chat.
"Know a senator called Crispus?" I asked, mainly to impress Larius with my unflappable professional expertise.
"No, Falco." The jailor was a man who spoke, then slowly thought about it. "Not Aufidius Crispus? He had a house in Herculaneum; sold it to buy that boat-"
"Seen him lately?"
"No, Falco." He thought; then opted for caution this time.
Larius felt things were unproductive. "Show Roscius your pa.s.s!" I fetched it out; Roscius read it and handed it back.
Larius closed his eyes in desperation. I returned the pa.s.s to Roscius. "Aha!" he said, not getting the point, but noticing that there might be one.
"Roscius, my friend, could you float that the way of a magistrate? If there"s one named Aemilius Kuhn, better choose him." It still went against the gram, but whoever provided the jailor"s lunch had used cold meat which turned up at the edges with a sinister dark rim. Our own relations were too far away to send provisions in. I reckoned I had about three hours before my nephew"s hungry stomach gained the side effect of a very nasty att.i.tude.
Roscius sent the pa.s.s to Helena"s friend. We took turns with his flagon and all got slightly drunk.
Towards the end of a peaceful afternoon two slaves turned up to say that one of us lads had to stay locked up, but the other could come with them. I explained to Larius that he would have to be the hostage, since Rufus was the friend of a friend of mine.
"Just hurry up, will you?" Galla"s treasure snarled. "I could murder a bowl of Baian beans!"
The house of Aemilius Rufus was a modest affair, though he probably owned a stack of gracious architecture elsewhere. This one had the atmosphere of an unvisited museum. It was furnished in a heavy style with wall friezes of battle scenes and grand spiky furniture, formally arranged, which I would never dare sit down on in case I nudged a leg out of line. It was a house without the grace of children, pets, the trickle of a fountain, or growing plants. If there was a gecko on the gloomily lacquered ceilings, he kept his head well down.
His honour was on a sun terrace, which at least had the sprawling untidiness most sun terraces achieve. Its occupants had been murmuring politely, though when I shuffled out into the sunshine they seized on the excuse and stopped. After a hard day trying to stay awake in the courthouse, Rufus was relaxing at full stretch with a large goblet clasped to his chest: a hopeful sign.
He had with him a thin n.o.blewoman who must be his sister, and another la.s.s. They were positioned at a wicker table which held the inevitable pastry plate. The magistrate"s sister picked at the sweetmeats spasmodically, while her visitor cheerfully tucked in. It was Helena Justina. She did me the supreme honour of letting my arrival put her off her food.
Unavoidable: as soon as you say goodbye forever, you trip over the lady wherever you go. So now mine was on a Herculaneum sun terrace, licking ground almonds off her fingers, with a tantalizing smear of honey on her chin which I would have enjoyed licking off for her myself.
She was wearing white, which was how I liked her, and she stayed very quiet, which was not. She ignored me, though I refused to be demoralized by that.
The ill.u.s.trious s.e.xtus Aemilius Rufus Clemens, son of s.e.xtus, grandson of Gaius, of the Falerna voting tribe; tribune, aedile, honorary priest of the Augustales, and currently ranking praetor, leaned around the back of his day bed; I stiffened. I was being greeted by a good-quality copy of a Praxiteles Apollo. If I stood him on a plinth with his clothes off and a thoughtful expression, Geminus would buy him like a shot. A cla.s.sic face; a.s.sertive intelligence; painfully fair colouring in a rare, superb combination with extremely dark brown eyes. Helena Justina"s friend was so good-looking I wanted to spit on him and see if any of the artistry washed off.
He had taken a fast run at public life. I put him not far beyond thirty. In five years he would be commanding a legion in one of the better provinces, and make consul easily in ten. Since he lived with his sister I guessed he was a bachelor, though it had not held him back in collecting votes. The reason he stayed single was probably being spoiled for choice.
He picked up my pa.s.s from a small silver table, read it, then surveyed me with limpidly dark eyes as I approached. "Didius Falco? Welcome to Herculaneum!" He gave me a frank, open smile like a man who dealt honestly, though I supposed he was no better than all the rest. "I gather someone has a shocked little donkey who will never be the same again... So what exactly is the name of your ox?"
"Spot!" I declared stoutly. He smiled. I smiled. The friendliness would never last. "My nephew and I," I insisted, sticking up for us, "have spent a humiliating morning and we intend filing a claim for wrongful arrest. Nero was one of the few Emperors who managed to avoid the honour of being decreed divine."
"He"s sacred in Campania, Falco; he wed a local girl!" "Pigswill! Didn"t Poppaea Sabina come to grief when he kicked her in the stomach during a pregnancy?
"A domestic tiff which good Campanian prefer to forget!" Herculaneum"s golden magistrate grinned at me, with an attractive flash of teeth. "I agree. Blasphemy seems a trumped-up charge. Suppose I ask instead about your unorthodox deliveries of lead?" His apologetic tone was upsetting. I prefer blunter questions, accompanied by a soldier"s knee in my soft extremities.
"Problem, sir? How can I help?"
"There have been," Rufus offered, with a gentleness that made my liver curl, "complaints."
"Oh I don"t understand that, sir!" I protested in outrage. "It"s top-quality stock from Britain, and we make every effort to ensure all our installations have good workmanship to match!"
"It"s not your customers who complain," Rufus stated. "It"s those with official franchises who are being undercut."
"Tough," I said. I was losing a battle I could not control; tiring work.
The magistrate shrugged. "Any more of this lead?" "No sir; that"s the last."
"Good. You can pick up your ox from the livery stables, but unless you show me proof of ownership, I have to confiscate the lead."
For a man with a handsome profile, his business ac.u.men was admirably sharp.
Now that he had pinched my samples, we became best friends. He waved me to a stool and made free with the wine he was drinking himself: a clean-flowing vintage my expert friend Petronius would admire.
"Very generous of you, sir - are the ladies joining us?"
His two refined companions had kept aloof, though we knew they were listening. Rufus veiled his eyes, entrusting me with a hint of male conspiracy, as they deigned to squirm sideways towards us, c.h.i.n.king their bangles to indicate the inconvenience.
"My sister Aemilia Fausta -" I gave her a solemn bow; her friend looked wise to it. "Helena Justina you know, I believe. She has been telling us what she thinks of you-"
"Oh he"s a typical man!" scoffed Helena wittily, unable to miss this chance. "He has dreadful friends, silly habits, and his antics make me laugh!"
Rufus shot me a bright, curious glance; I gravely a.s.serted, "The daughter of Camillus Verus is someone I hold in the highest esteem!" It sounded unreliable; the truth so often does.
Helena grumbled something under her breath, so Rufus laughed. He rolled up his napkin and threw it at her; she biffed it back with the easy informality of old family friends. I could imagine their adolescence shared in long summer holidays here, swimming and boating and picnicking. Sailing to Surrentum. Trips to Capreae. Baiae. Lake Avernus.
Stolen kisses in the Sybil"s Cave at c.u.mae . I pictured the effect such a glorious hunk of glowing masculinity must have had on Helena Justina while she was a growing girl.
Perhaps he still did.
The rough wine at the jailhouse plus the smooth wine on the sun terrace were filling me with a pleasant sense of irresponsibility. I beamed at the ladies, then sat back in the sunshine enjoying my drink.
"You work for Vespasian," the magistrate broached. "So what brings you here?" He was playing the innocent, well- mannered host, while swiftly ascertaining my interest in his patch.
Banking on Helena"s good judgement in sending me here, I said, "The Emperor wants to find a senator called Crispus. He is somewhere in this area, though people seem reluctant to admit to seeing him-"
"Oh, I"ve seen him!"
"You never told me that!" For the first time, the magistrate"s sister spoke: a sharp, almost petulant voice.
Rufus looked at her. "No," he said; his tone was quarrelsome, though without apology. I remembered Helena saying Aemilia Fausta had wanted to marry Crispus, but he had declined to complete the contract. Crispus backing out could look like an insult to her family; her brother was bound to disapprove of her continuing interest. He turned back to me. "Aufidius Crispus contacted me recently; we met at the baths at Stabiae."
"Any particular reason for him getting in touch?"
"No," said the magistrate levelly. "Nothing particular." Well; nothing a spruce young aristocrat would tell a hangdog like me.
"Special friend of yours, sir?"
"A friend; not special."
I gave him a gracious smile. "I don"t mean to pry. I know he has a connection with your family. Marriages planned between persons of rank are public events."
I sympathized actually; I had sisters myself. Besides, I was feeling hot, and on the verge of getting drunk again.
He stiffened, then acknowledged it. "My sister had a disappointment there. We shall have to find her new interests to compensate. Aemilia Fausta was hoping to take up music this summer, though I"m afraid I have failed to find a harp teacher so far .
"Bad luck!" I murmured innocently.
"I"ve heard you are a man of many talents, Falco. I don"t suppose you play?" Rufus had confiscated my livelihood. He must have deduced how badly I needed to find another one.
I took a thoughtful look at his sister, then tried to avoid revealing the pessimism I felt.
Aemilia Fausta carried a defeated expression no one could blame her for; it must be sorry work being the fairly ordinary sister of a fabulously handsome artefact who attracted all the attention wherever they went. She matched their house - antique and undisturbed, like an old, aloof Greek statue which had gathered dust in a viewing gallery for many years. The knack of giving pleasure had pa.s.sed her by through no fault of her own. She was given to wearing robes the colour of second-rate gemstones - the grubby yellow of tourmaline or that sour, olivine green which jewellers know as peridot. Her complexion looked sickly, beneath a varnish of cosmetics that crinkled in the heat like a puppet"s mask. Even here, on a high balcony where a pleasant breeze was rising off the sea, no hair on her sleek, pale head wafted out of place and she would evidently be annoyed if it tried. Her hair was the wrong shade of honey to be interesting.
For all that she was a young woman. Too old to remain single without a good reason, yet twenty-five at most. Her brother had cornered the family share of bone structure, but she must be educated and rich, and unlike her friend Helena she could be taken out in public without demolishing every plate of almond cakes that strayed within her reach. If she ever risked a smile she might be modestly attractive to a man in the right mood. Blow that dust off her, chase her about in the fresh air, pinch her in cheeky places until she jumped and squeaked a bit - something marginally tasty might be made of the n.o.ble Aemilia.
Helena Justina was looking daggers of disapproval, so I piped up at once that I would be happy to take the job.
XLIV.
I had better things to do than hang about in the hope of a word with a woman whose only word would be "goodbye". I hoofed off back to the jail to free Larius. I took him to a cookshop, then he and I rescued Petro"s disgraced ox. Nero had made friends with the hones and mules at the stable. He was like a child at a party; he did not want to go home.