Berry stared at me in understandable surprise. "That"s true," he said slowly, feeling his way. "I"m sure the situation could be worse. You"re saying, if my wife ran off with them, went underground, like some spouses do to keep the other parent away from the kids ? That would be horrible. I guess I"d just go crazy." Berry mulled it over for a minute. "I"d do anything to get them back, if that happened," he concluded. He looked up at me. "My G.o.d, girl, how did we get on this depressing topic? This is supposed to be a happy household! Wedding tomorrow!"
"Yes," I said. "Wedding tomorrow." I had to be resolute. This was not a problem I could solve by hitting or kicking. I puzzled Berry further by patting his shoulder, before I pulled on my coat and called good-bye to my parents.
I thought there was something I"d forgotten to tell Jack today, something small but important. But I couldn"t make it float to the surface of my mind.
The O"Sheas had plenty of room in the Presbyterian manse, since the preacher for whom the home had been built had been the father of five. Of course, that had been in 1938. Now the manse was an underinsulated money pit in need of complete rewiring, Lou told me within the first five minutes after my arrival. I could see that she had some legitimate gripes, because the long, narrow shape of the living area made it hard to group furniture, just for starters. And though there was a fireplace, and it was decorated for the season, the chimney needed so much repair that it wasn"t functional.
The preacher"s wife was encased in a sage green suit and black suede pumps. Her dark hair was carefully turned under all the way around in a smooth pageboy, and her ski-jump nose had been minimized by some subtle makeup. Lou was clearly looking forward to getting out of her house without the kids in tow, but just as clearly she was little anxious about my keeping them. She was doing her best not to show her worry, but the third time she pointed out the list of emergency phone numbers right by the telephone, I had a very sharp answer practically tottering on the edge of my tongue.
Instead, of course, I took a cleansing breath and nodded. But there may have been something grim in the set of my mouth, because Lou did a double take and apologized profusely for being overprotective. To cut short her apologies, she bent to plug in the Christmas tree, which almost filled a quarter of the room.
The lights began to blink.
I clenched my teeth to keep from saying something Lou was sure to find unacceptable.
The manse seemed as commercial as any other house tricked out for the season, with long plastic candy canes propped on either side of the nonfunctional hearth, where fireplace tools would ordinarily stand. A silver garland was draped between the corners of the mantelpiece, and Lou had hung long plastic icicles from the garland.
Opposite the hearth was a central window before which the tree was positioned. However, under the tree, instead of presents there stood a nativity scene, with a wooden stable and a full complement of shepherds, Joseph and Mary, camels and cows, and the baby Jesus in a manger.
Handsome Jess strode into the room, wearing a dark suit enlivened by a fancy Christmas vest. He was carrying Meredith Osborn"s baby, Jane, and Jane was not happy.
It was time for me to prove my worth. I steeled myself to hold out my arms, and he placed the shrieking Jane in them.
"Is she due for a bottle?" I yelled.
"No," bellowed Jess, "I just fed her."
Then she needed burping. After eating came burping, then excreting, then sleeping. This was what I had learned about babies. I turned Jane so she was upright and pointed over my shoulder and began patting her gently with my right hand. Little red-faced thing . . . she was so tiny. Jane had wisps of curling blond hair here and there on her smooth head. Her eyes were squeezed shut with rage, but as soon as I turned her upright she seemed to be crying with less volume. Her little eyes opened and looked hazily at me.
"Hi," I said, feeling I should talk to her.
The other children came piling into the room. Krista"s little brother Luke was a cement block of a toddler, so square and heavy that he stomped rather than walked. He was dark-haired like Lou, but he would have the heavy-jawed good looks of his father.
The most amazing belch erupted from the baby. Her body relaxed against my shoulder, which suddenly felt wet.
"Oh, dear," Lou said. "Oh, Lily ..."
"Should have slung a diaper over your shoulder." Jess"s advice was just a little too late.
I looked directly into the baby"s eyes, and she made one of those little baby noises. Her tiny hands flailed the air.
"I"ll hold her while you clean up," Eve volunteered, while Krista said, "Ewww! Look at the white stuff on Miss Lily"s shoulder!"
"Sit in the chair," I told Eve.
Eve settled herself in the nearest armchair, her legs crossed on the seat. I settled Eve"s sister into her lap and checked to make sure that Eve was holding the baby correctly. She was.
Followed by the herd of kids, I went to the bathroom, got a washcloth out of the linen closet, and dampened it to rub the worst of the belched liquid off my shoulder. I didn"t want to smell it all night. Krista kept up a running commentary the whole time, Anna seemed conflicted between being sympathetic toward her future aunt and rolling in the grossness of baby throw up like Krista, and Luke just stared while holding his left ear with his left hand and gripping the hair on the top of his head with his right, a posture that made him look like he was receiving signals from another planet.
I realized that Luke was probably still wearing diapers, too.
The O"Sheas called good-bye as they escaped from the houseful of children, and I tossed the washrag into the dirty clothes hamper and glanced at my watch. It was time to change Jane.
I settled Luke in the far end of the living room in front of the television, watching a Christmas cartoon and communicating with Mars. He chose to sit almost inside the branches of the Christmas tree. The blinking didn"t seem to bother him.
The girls all followed me to the baby"s room. Eve was proprietary because the baby was her sister, Krista was hoping to see p.o.o.p so she could provide running commentary on its grossness, and Anna was still waiting to see which way the wind blew.
Grabbing a fresh disposable diaper, I placed the baby on the changing table and went through the laborious and complicated process of unsnapping the crotch of Jane"s sleeper. Mentally reviewing how I"d changed the Althaus baby, I opened the pull tabs on the old diaper, lifted Jane by the legs, removed the soiled diaper, pulled a wipe from the box on the end of the changing table, cleaned the pertinent areas, and pushed the new diaper under Jane. I ran the front part between her tiny legs, pulled the adhesive tabs shut, and reinserted the baby into the sleeper, getting the snaps wrong only one time.
The three girls decided this was boring. I watched them troop through the door to go to Krista"s room. They were so superficially similar, yet so different. All were eight years old, give or take a few months; all were within three inches of being the same height; they had brown hair and brown eyes. But Eve"s hair was long and looked as if someone had taken a curling iron to it, and Eve was thin and pale. Krista, blocky and with higher color, had short, thick, darker hair and a more decisive demeanor. Her jaw jutted out like she was about to take it on the chin. Anna had shoulder-length light brown hair, a medium build, and a ready smile.
One of these three little girls was not who she thought she was. Her parents were not the people she had always identified as her parents. Her home was not really her home; she belonged elsewhere. She was not the oldest child in the family but the youngest. Everything in her life had been a lie.
I wondered what Jack was doing. I hoped whatever it was, he wouldn"t get caught.
I carried the baby into the living room with me. Luke was still absorbed in the television, but he half turned as I entered and asked me for a snack.
With the attention to detail you have to have around kids, I put Jane in her infant seat, fastened the strap and buckle arrangement that prevented her from falling out, and fetched Luke a banana from the chaotic kitchen.
"I want chips. I don"t like nanas," he said.
I exhaled gently. "If you eat your banana, I"ll get you some chips," I said as diplomatically as I am able. "After supper. I"ll be putting supper on the table in just a minute."
"Miss Lily!" shrieked Eve. "Come look at us!"
Ignoring Luke"s continued complaints about bananas, I strode down the hall to the room that must be Krista"s, judging from all the signs on the door warning Luke never to come in.
It didn"t seem possible the girls could have done so much to themselves in such a short time. Both Krista and Anna were daubed with makeup and swathed in full dress-up regalia: net skirts, feathered hats, tiny high heels. Eve, sitting on Krista"s bed, was much more modestly decked out, and she wore no makeup at all.
I looked at Krista"s and Anna"s lurid faces and had a flash of horror before I realized that if all this stuff had been in Krista"s room, this must be an approved activity.
"You look ... charming," I said, having no idea what an acceptable response would be.
"I"m the prettiest!" Krista said insistently.
If the basis for selection was heavy makeup, Krista was right.
"Why don"t you wear makeup, Miss Lily?" Eve asked.
The three girls crowded around and a.n.a.lyzed my face.
"She"s got mascara on," Anna decided.
"Red stuff? Rouge?" Krista was peering at my cheeks.
"Eye shadow," Eve said triumphantly.
"More isn"t always better," I said, to deaf ears.
"If you wore a lot of makeup, you"d be beautiful, Aunt Lily," Anna said surprisingly.
"Thank you, Anna. I"d better go see how the baby is."
Luke had unsnapped the baby"s sleeper and pulled it from her tiny feet. He was bending over her with a pair of tiny, sharp fingernail scissors.
"What are you doing, Luke?" I asked when I could draw my breath.
"I"m gonna help you out," he said happily. "I"m gonna cut baby Jane"s toenails."
I shuddered. "I appreciate your wanting to help. But you have to wait for Jane"s daddy to say whether or not he wants you to do that." That seemed pretty diplomatic to me.
Luke insisted vehemently that Jane"s long toenails were endangering her life and had to be trimmed now.
I began to dislike this child very seriously.
"Listen to me," I said quietly, cutting right through all his justification.
Luke shut right up. He looked plenty scared.
Good.
"Don"t touch the baby unless I ask you to," I said. I thought I was making a simple declarative sentence, but possibly Luke was good at interpreting voice tone. He dropped the scissors. I picked them up and shoved them in my sweatpants pocket where I could be certain he wouldn"t reclaim them.
I picked up the infant seat and took Jane into the kitchen with me to set out the children"s meal. Lou had left canned funny-shaped pasta in sauce, which I wouldn"t have fed to my dog, if I"d had one. I heated it, trying not to inhale. I spooned it into bowls, then cut squares of Jell-O and put them on plates, adding apple slices that Lou had already prepared. I poured milk.
The kids ran in and scooted into chairs the minute I called them, even Luke. Without prompting, they all bowed their heads and said the "G.o.d is great" prayer in unison. I was caught flat-footed, halfway to the refrigerator to put the milk carton away.
The next fifty minutes were ... trying.
I understand that close to Christmas children get excited. I realize that children in packs are more excitable than children separately. I have heard that having a sitter instead of parental supervision causes kids to push their limits, or rather, their sitter"s. But I had to take several deep breaths as the kids rampaged through their supper. I perched on a stool, baby Jane in her infant seat on the kitchen counter beside me. Jane, at least, was asleep. A sleeping baby is a near-perfect thing.
As I wiped up slopped tomato sauce, put more sliced apples into Luke"s bowl, stopped Krista from poking Anna with a spoon, I gradually became aware that Eve was quieter than the others. She had to make a visible effort to join in the hilarity.
Of course, her mother had just died.
So I kept a wary eye on Eve.
Far from planning to learn something that evening, I was beginning to hope merely to survive it. I"d thought I"d get a moment to look for family records. That was so clearly impossible, I was convinced I"d leave as ignorant as when I"d come.
Krista took care of the problem for me.
Reaching for the crackers I"d set in the center of the table, she knocked over her milk, which cascaded off the table into Anna"s lap. Anna shrieked, called Krista a b.u.t.thead, and darted a terrified glance at me. This was not approved language in the Kingery household, and since I was almost her aunt, I gave Anna the obligatory stern look.
"Do you have a change of pants here?" I asked.
"Yes ma"am," said a subdued Anna.
"Krista, you wipe up the milk with this towel while I take Anna to change. I"ll need to put those pants right in the washer."
I picked up the baby in her infant seat and carried her with me down the hall, trying not to jostle her from her sleep. Anna hurried ahead of me, wanting to change and get back to her friends.
I could tell that Anna was not comfortable taking off her clothes with me in the room, but we"d done a little bonding that morning and she didn"t want to hurt my feelings by asking me to leave. G.o.d knows I hated invading anyone"s privacy, but I had to do it. After I found a safe spot on the floor for Jane, I picked up the room while Anna untied her shoes and divested herself of her socks, pants, and panties. I had my back to her, but I was facing a mirror when her panties came down, and since she had her back to me, I was able to see clearly the dark brown splotch of the birthmark on her hip.
I had to lean against the wall. A wave of relief almost bowled me over. Anna having that birthmark simply had to mean that Anna was the baby in the birth picture with her mother and Dill, their original and true child, and not Summer Dawn Macklesby.
I had something to be thankful for, after all.
I picked up the wet clothes, and Anna, having pulled on some dry ones, dashed out of the room to finish her supper.
I was about to pick up Jane when Eve came in. She stood, her arms behind her back, looking at her shoes. Something about the way she was standing put me on full alert.
"Miss Lily, you remember that day you came to our house and cleaned up?" she asked, as though it had been weeks before.
I stood stock still. I saw myself opening the box on the shelf....
"Wait," I told her. "I want to talk to you. Wait just one moment."
The nearest telephone, and the one that was the most private, was the one in the master bedroom across the hall.
I looked through the phone book, found the number of Jack"s motel. Please let him be there, please let him be there...
Mr. Patel connected me to Jack"s room. Jack answered on the second ring.
"Jack, open your briefcase," I said.
Some a.s.sorted sounds over the other end.
"OK, it"s done."
"The picture of the baby."
"Summer Dawn? The one that was in the paper?"
"Yes, that one. What is the baby wearing?"
"One of those one-piece things."
"Jack, what does it look like?"
"Ah, long arms and legs, snaps ..."
"What is the pattern?" the pattern?"
"Oh. Little animals, looks like."
I took a deep, deep breath. "Jack, what kind of animal?"
"Giraffes," he said, after a long, a.n.a.lytical pause.