Prin. Peace ye fat guttes, lye downe, lay thine eare close to the ground, and list if thou can heare the tread of Trauellers
Fal. Haue you any Leauers to lift me vp again being downe? Ile not beare mine owne flesh so far afoot again, for all the coine in thy Fathers Exchequer. What a plague meane ye to colt me thus?
Prin. Thou ly"st, thou art not colted, thou art vncolted
Fal. I prethee good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good Kings sonne
Prin. Out you Rogue, shall I be your Ostler?
Fal. Go hang thy selfe in thine owne heire-apparant-Garters: If I be tane, Ile peach for this: and I haue not Ballads made on all, and sung to filthy tunes, let a Cup of Sacke be my poyson: when a iest is so forward, & a foote too, I hate it.
Enter Gads-hill.
Gad. Stand
Fal. So I do against my will
Poin. O "tis our Setter, I know his voyce: Bardolfe, what newes?
Bar. Case ye, case ye; on with your Vizards, there"s mony of the Kings comming downe the hill, "tis going to the Kings Exchequer
Fal. You lie you rogue, "tis going to the Kings Tauern
Gad. There"s enough to make vs all
Fal. To be hang"d
Prin. You foure shall front them in the narrow Lane: Ned and I, will walke lower; if they scape from your encounter, then they light on vs
Peto. But how many be of them?
Gad. Some eight or ten
Fal. Will they not rob vs?
Prin. What, a Coward Sir Iohn Paunch?
Fal. Indeed I am not Iohn of Gaunt your Grandfather; but yet no Coward, Hal
Prin. Wee"l leaue that to the proofe
Poin. Sirra Iacke, thy horse stands behinde the hedg, when thou need"st him, there thou shalt finde him. Farewell, and stand fast
Fal. Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hang"d
Prin. Ned, where are our disguises?
Poin. Heere hard by: Stand close
Fal. Now my Masters, happy man be his dole, say I: euery man to his businesse.
Enter Trauellers
Tra. Come Neighbor: the boy shall leade our Horses downe the hill: Wee"l walke a-foot a while, and ease our Legges
Theeues. Stay
Tra. Iesu blesse vs
Fal. Strike down with them, cut the villains throats; a whorson Caterpillars: Bacon-fed Knaues, they hate vs youth; downe with them, fleece them
Tra. O, we are vndone, both we and ours for euer
Fal. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are you vndone? No ye Fat Chuffes, I would your store were heere. On Bacons, on, what ye knaues? Yong men must liue, you are Grand Iurers, are ye? Wee"l iure ye ifaith.
Heere they rob them, and binde them. Enter the Prince and Poines.
Prin. The Theeues haue bound the True-men: Now could thou and I rob the Theeues, and go merily to London, it would be argument for a Weeke, Laughter for a Moneth, and a good iest for euer
Poynes. Stand close, I heare them comming.
Enter Theeues againe.
Fal. Come my Masters, let vs share, and then to horsse before day: and the Prince and Poynes bee not two arrand Cowards, there"s no equity stirring. There"s no moe valour in that Poynes, than in a wilde Ducke
Prin. Your money
Poin. Villaines.
As they are sharing, the Prince and Poynes set vpon them. They all run away, leauing the booty behind them.
Prince. Got with much ease. Now merrily to Horse: The Theeues are scattred, and possest with fear so strongly, that they dare not meet each other: each takes his fellow for an Officer. Away good Ned, Falstaffe sweates to death, and Lards the leane earth as he walkes along: wer"t not for laughing, I should pitty him
Poin. How the Rogue roar"d.
Exeunt.
Scoena Tertia.
Enter Hotspurre solus, reading a Letter.
But for mine owne part, my Lord. I could bee well contented to be there, in respect of the loue I beare your house.
He could be contented: Why is he not then? in respect of the loue he beares our house. He shewes in this, he loues his owne Barne better then he loues our house. Let me see some more. The purpose you vndertake is dangerous.
Why that"s certaine: "Tis dangerous to take a Colde, to sleepe, to drinke: but I tell you (my Lord foole) out of this Nettle, Danger; we plucke this Flower, Safety. The purpose you vndertake is dangerous, the Friends you haue named vncertaine, the Time it selfe vnsorted, and your whole Plot too light, for the counterpoize of so great an Opposition.
Say you so, say you so: I say vnto you againe, you are a shallow cowardly Hinde, and you Lye. What a lackebraine is this? I protest, our plot is as good a plot as euer was laid; our Friend true and constant: A good Plotte, good Friends, and full of expectation: An excellent plot, very good Friends. What a Frosty-spirited rogue is this?
Why, my Lord of Yorke commends the plot, and the generall course of the action. By this hand, if I were now by this Rascall, I could braine him with his Ladies Fan.
Is there not my Father, my Vncle, and my Selfe, Lord Edmund Mortimer, my Lord of Yorke, and Owen Glendour?
Is there not besides, the Dowglas? Haue I not all their letters, to meete me in Armes by the ninth of the next Moneth?
and are they not some of them set forward already?
What a Pagan Rascall is this? An Infidell. Ha, you shall see now in very sincerity of Feare and Cold heart, will he to the King, and lay open all our proceedings. O, I could diuide my selfe, and go to buffets, for mouing such a dish of skim"d Milk with so honourable an Action. Hang him, let him tell the King we are prepared. I will set forwards to night.
Enter his Lady.
How now Kate, I must leaue you within these two hours
La. O my good Lord, why are you thus alone?
For what offence haue I this fortnight bin A banish"d woman from my Harries bed?
Tell me (sweet Lord) what is"t that takes from thee Thy stomacke, pleasure, and thy golden sleepe?
Why dost thou bend thine eyes vpon the earth?