M.Pa. A Cur, Sir
Shal. Sir: hee"s a good dog, and a faire dog, can there be more said? he is good, and faire. Is Sir Iohn Falstaffe heere?
M.Pa. Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a good office betweene you
Euan. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speake
Shal. He hath wrong"d me (Master Page.) M.Pa. Sir, he doth in some sort confesse it
Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that so (M[aster]. Page?) he hath wrong"d me, indeed he hath, at a word he hath: beleeue me, Robert Shallow Esquire, saith he is wronged
Ma.Pa. Here comes Sir Iohn
Fal. Now, Master Shallow, you"ll complaine of me to the King?
Shal. Knight, you haue beaten my men, kill"d my deere, and broke open my Lodge
Fal. But not kiss"d your Keepers daughter?
Shal. Tut, a pin: this shall be answer"d
Fal. I will answere it strait, I haue done all this: That is now answer"d
Shal. The Councell shall know this
Fal. "Twere better for you if it were known in councell: you"ll be laugh"d at
Eu. Pauca verba; (Sir Iohn) good worts
Fal. Good worts? good Cabidge; Slender, I broke your head: what matter haue you against me?
Slen. Marry sir, I haue matter in my head against you, and against your cony-catching Rascalls, Bardolf, Nym, and Pistoll
Bar. You Banbery Cheese
Slen. I, it is no matter
Pist. How now, Mephostophilus?
Slen. I, it is no matter
Nym. Slice, I say; pauca, pauca: Slice, that"s my humor
Slen. Where"s Simple my man? can you tell, Cosen?
Eua. Peace, I pray you: now let vs vnderstand: there is three Vmpires in this matter, as I vnderstand; that is, Master Page (fidelicet Master Page,) & there is my selfe, (fidelicet my selfe) and the three party is (lastly, and finally) mine Host of the Garter
Ma.Pa. We three to hear it, & end it between them
Euan. Ferry goo"t, I will make a priefe of it in my note-booke, and we wil afterwards orke vpon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can
Fal. Pistoll
Pist. He heares with eares
Euan. The Teuill and his Tam: what phrase is this?
he heares with eare? why, it is affectations
Fal. Pistoll, did you picke M[aster]. Slenders purse?
Slen. I, by these gloues did hee, or I would I might neuer come in mine owne great chamber againe else, of seauen groates in mill-sixpences, and two Edward Shouelboords, that cost me two shilling and two pence a peece of Yead Miller: by these gloues
Fal. Is this true, Pistoll?
Euan. No, it is false, if it is a picke-purse
Pist. Ha, thou mountaine Forreyner: Sir Iohn, and Master mine, I combat challenge of this Latine Bilboe: word of deniall in thy labras here; word of denial; froth, and sc.u.m thou liest
Slen. By these gloues, then "twas he
Nym. Be auis"d sir, and pa.s.se good humours: I will say marry trap with you, if you runne the nut-hooks humor on me, that is the very note of it
Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunke, yet I am not altogether an a.s.se
Fal. What say you Scarlet, and Iohn?
Bar. Why sir, (for my part) I say the Gentleman had drunke himselfe out of his fiue sentences
Eu. It is his fiue sences: fie, what the ignorance is
Bar. And being fap, sir, was (as they say) casheerd: and so conclusions past the Careires
Slen. I, you spake in Latten then to: but "tis no matter; Ile nere be drunk whilst I liue againe, but in honest, ciuill, G.o.dly company for this tricke: if I be drunke, Ile be drunke with those that haue the feare of G.o.d, and not with drunken knaues
Euan. So got-udge me, that is a vertuous minde
Fal. You heare all these matters deni"d, Gentlemen; you heare it
Mr.Page. Nay daughter, carry the wine in, wee"ll drinke within
Slen. Oh heauen: This is Mistresse Anne Page
Mr.Page. How now Mistris Ford?
Fal. Mistris Ford, by my troth you are very wel met: by your leaue good Mistris
Mr.Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: come, we haue a hot Venison pasty to dinner; Come gentlemen, I hope we shall drinke downe all vnkindnesse
Slen. I had rather then forty shillings I had my booke of Songs and Sonnets heere: How now Simple, where haue you beene? I must wait on my selfe, must I? you haue not the booke of Riddles about you, haue you?
Sim. Booke of Riddles? why did you not lend it to Alice Short-cake vpon Alhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas
Shal. Come Coz, come Coz, we stay for you: a word with you Coz: marry this, Coz: there is as "twere a tender, a kinde of tender, made a farre-off by Sir Hugh here: doe you vnderstand me?
Slen. I Sir, you shall finde me reasonable; if it be so, I shall doe that that is reason
Shal. Nay, but vnderstand me
Slen. So I doe Sir
Euan. Giue eare to his motions; (Mr. Slender) I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it