"At the moment, all I"m wearing is my Polo cologne. I"m getting a head start on the nude camping thing."
"Practice makes perfect," I agreed. "Are you lying down on your new couch?"
"I"m in my new bed, actually."
"And what are you doing in your new bed?"
"I was looking at p.o.r.n, feeling myself up."
"Good boy! I take it the horse is out of the barn."
"He sure is. And he"s a big big horse." horse."
"If you stroke his neck very gently, he"ll calm down."
"I don"t want him to calm down."
"What are you thinking about as you stroke him?"
"You, of course."
"What about me?"
"I"m thinking about your a.s.s right now. It was so smooth and soft. It was like a baby"s bottom. I wish I could kiss it right now."
"Really?"
"Of course. I"d kiss it and lick it a bit; then I"d spread your cheeks and put the horse in the barn."
"He likes being in the barn."
"He does indeed!"
"And you like older men, huh?"
"They"ve already been broken in. They don"t cry as much when you pop their cherry."
"You"ve got a filthy mind, don"t you?"
"You started it."
"If you need to put the horse in the barn, you know where I am. Just bring more lube."
"The cheese-eater goes to bed at nine?"
"Like clockwork."
"I"ll be there with a very large tube of lube and a very large and eager c.o.c.k."
"You"re going to bale my hay?"
"Is the pope Catholic?"
32) You"ll be late
NOAH WOKE WOKE me. He looked at Jackson and grinned from ear to ear as he tapped his wrist. me. He looked at Jackson and grinned from ear to ear as he tapped his wrist.
"s.h.i.t," I said.
You"ll be late, he said. he said.
You"re not kidding, I thought.
Noah grabbed my bath towel from where it hung on the back of my closet door and handed it me.
I made coffee, he said. he said.
Let me wake up, I said.
I couldn"t afford to be late again, not with Mr. Owen ragging my a.s.s.
I sat, pulled the sheet over to cover my nakedness, and smiled sheepishly.
Noah didn"t seem to notice or care.
Me and K. are going to the B-u-f-f-a-l-o P-a-r-k today with Mrs. H. Can I have some money for a soda?
Of course. No soda. Juice. That"s the rule.
Please can I have a soda?
You know the rule.
Please, daddy? If you let me have a soda, I won"t tell Memaw about him.
He threw a significant glance at Jackson Ledbetter.
You little t.u.r.d!
Please?
Okay. Only one!
Thanks! K. said she wants to be my girlfriend.
What did you say?
I said no. I don"t want a girlfriend. She"s my friend, not my girlfriend. We"re too young to get married and I don"t want her to get pregnant. I want her to go to school and be a lawyer.
What did she say?
She said I was right. Are you and J. getting married?
I shrugged.
If you get married, will you still love me?
Of course.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
Okay. You can marry him if you want.
Thank you.
Why do you want to marry a boy?
I sighed wistfully, our sign for "that"s a long conversation."
Do you love him?
I don"t know.
He"s nice.
He is.
He tapped his wrist impatiently, again reminding me of the time. He pulled on my hand and forced me to stand.
I put a finger to my lips in the "Be quiet" gesture while glancing at Jackson.
He rolled his eyes, went to my closet, and started digging around for a clean uniform. He could be a real n.a.z.i when it came to getting to work on time. He certainly didn"t get that from me.
I showered, dressed, went back to my room, and sat down on the bed next to Jackson, watching him longer than I had time to. I gently shook him awake.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey," he said, looking up at me.
"I"ve got to go to work and I"ll drop Noah off at the babysitter on my way. He made coffee for you, by the way. It"s terrible, but don"t tell him that. It"s the thought that counts and all that. Lock the door when you leave, okay?"
"Are you leaving now?"
"I"m late. But it was worth it."
"It certainly was."
I kissed him chastely on the cheek.
"Wiley," he said, sitting up, rubbing at his bare chest.
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"Isn"t it a little soon for that?"
"Maybe," he admitted. "But it"s true. I am smack-dab in the middle of being hugely in love with you. If you"re not serious about me, don"t jerk me around."
I looked at him for a long moment, several things on the tip of my tongue just wanting to be said, the verb "jerking" providing endless opportunities for double entendres.
"Gotta put in your courting time," I said at last, choosing the least risky and offensive of the alternatives.
"I will," he promised.
"I"d give you a good morning b.l.o.w. .j.o.b but I"m really, really late and customers don"t like it when you have pubic hair in your teeth."
33) A camping we will go
ON F FRIDAY afternoon, Jackson came by the apartment to pick us up. Our bags were packed and we had a cooler full of beer and juice waiting for a bag of ice from the gas station. My guitar was the last thing we loaded. afternoon, Jackson came by the apartment to pick us up. Our bags were packed and we had a cooler full of beer and juice waiting for a bag of ice from the gas station. My guitar was the last thing we loaded.
"My mom"s head might explode when she sees you," I said.
"That bad, huh?"
"Be on your best behavior. She thinks all h.o.m.os.e.xuals are criminals, whether we know about it or not. She hates it when you behave and prove her wrong."
"I"ll do my best," he promised.
"And pay no attention to Papaw."
"Who"s that?"
"My grandfather."