She Died

Eris Jane Trinidad

"O!" I was surprised when someone handed me a burger.

"Eros!" I felt happy to see him again. I waited almost half an hour here on the rooftop.

"O!" he held the burger nearer, I stood up from the floor where I was sitting and took the burger that he offered.

"Ha? What is this for?" I wondered.

"Eat it if you’re hungry or throw it if you don"t like it." He said while he sat on the floor. He leaned his back on the wall and placed his elbows on his knees while he opened the packaging of his burger.

I sat beside him. "Throw it? Waa! That"s bad! There are plenty of people  out there who’s suffering from hunger."

"So what,  if there are plenty of people who are hungry? Will they become full if you don’t eat that? Tss."

"Umm… No, they wouldn’t become full but at the very least we shouldn’t waste the food that is denied to them. We have the chance to eat while they don"t; that"s why we should not waste what we have."

"I"m sure if you didn’t die, you would become a nun. You just love to give sermons. Just be quiet and eat! You’re so annoying." He said while biting into his burger.

I unwrapped the packaging of my burger andsmiled. "Thank you for the food Eros."

Silence.

"Oh Eros! How is it? Did he give you a second chance?"

He nodded, his face devoid of any reaction. My eyes went wide, I touched my mouth and hugged him.

"Ahh! I"m so happy Eros!"

"Hey! What the heck! My burger almost fell off! Don"t hug me! You pervert!" He pushed me.

"Eros! I"m so happy for you! I—" I was cut-off from speaking when he pushed my burger into my mouth. 

"It"s not sure yet. He said it depends if I don"t get grades below ninety-five percent in all upcoming quizzes and exams."

"Oh? So what"s the problem?"

"Isn"t it obvious? Do you think he agreed with your conditions because I begged? He only agreed because he’s one hundred percent sure that I can"t make it. He believes that I am and will always be a good for nothing repeater."

"Then prove him wrong."

"Ha! Why prove him wrong when he"s right. What they all say about me is true: I’m a worthless person. I don"t excel in anything. I don"t have hope in anything."

"So, are you happy with that?"

"What?"

"That they think that you"re a good for nothing?"

"It"s okay."

*WAPAK*

"Ouch! Why did you slap me?" He touched his head. "Amazing! An angel that slaps people? Are you really sure you"re an angel? Maybe you"re an alien or a witch?"

"Hmp! I questioned you if you’re happy, and you answered me ‘it’s okay’ but I think it doesn’t answer my question."

"What should I have answered?" He asked, piqued while biting into his burger.

"If you"re asked if you’re happy or not, you should answer ‘you"re happy’ or ‘you’re sad’."

"What if it’s none of the two?"

"That’s impossible!"

"There’s really none of the two! You’re really annoying!"

"Do you mean you don’t feel anything?"

"Most probably. It’s like I’m not bothered."

"So you’re sad!"

"What?"

"If you feel anything, then you’re not happy. And if you’re not happy, then you’re sad!"

“You’re annoying! Whatever.”

NOW PLAYING:

Copper Down by The Boy Who Trapped The Sun

"You know Eros, you should not deny what you feel. I will not laugh or judge you so there’s no reason for you to feel embarra.s.sed. You can always be honest with me."

"Tss." That’s the only thing that he said. I waited for awhile, wondering if he’ll add something to his famous line "tss’. But when I realized that I wouldn’t be hearing anything from him , I just gazed at the sky and continued eating.

There was silence between us. It was slightly windy at the rooftop, a few of my hair strands swayed with the wind. The skies were cloudy, the sun hidden but there was still light.

From the rooftop, the sound of the students bustling on the ground floor could be heard. It was very relaxing. It  made me sleepy…

I almost finished what I was eating when he suddenly spoke again.

~♪♪’ This ship’s gone and run its course

Through a tired lack of force

And all that matters branded on your arm

So you don’t forget how we first met ‘~♪♪

"I don’t know if I’m sad but I can say that I don’t feel happy when people look at me with judgment in their eyes. It’s irritating, it’s annoying, and it"s infuriating. I want to pounce on them- who think highly of themselves." He said while not looking at me.

"People, no matter what you do, will judge you. It"s only natural for humans. Even once, have you not judged people yourself?"

"I also judged."

"See? I"m guilty of it too. We can"t stop it. Even though we don"t want to judge, it just comes naturally. If you don’t like being judged wrongly, you can prove yourself to them. If they see you as a good for nothing, then show them that you can be good for something."

"You wish. Once they see you as a good for nothing, you will always be a good for nothing in their eyes. It’s already stamped into their minds. It"s difficult to change their view."

"How can you say that? Have you tried changing yourself?"

♪~Suddenly I have this feeling

Tasting copper in my mouth

I look to watch the clouds for my last breath ~♪

He was silent for a while then he shook his head. "N-no."

"Why don"t you try it?" I smiled while I peeked at him, who  was looking down.

"I don"t think I can."

"You haven"t tried it yet!"

"I don"t really think I can do it! It"s not easy to change ones’ habits."

"That"s why I"m here, right? I will help you."

His head was still down but he gazed at me while I peeked at his face.

♪~ When you grow into you skin

I’ll be the hope joining the wall

And all the sc.r.a.ps of world joined at the hand

Are there to hold you in our secret plan ~♪

We stayed like that for a few seconds. We stared at each other"s eyes, both searching each other for the answers to our questions. 

His eyes were black. And as I stared at it longer, it got deeper and deeper in color as if his eyes wanted to speak volumes; words that his mouth couldn’t utter.

His eyes reflected his true self—a guy who was lonely, helpless, desperate, in need of attention, and who specially needed help.

"If I change, will I be happy?"

♪~Suddenly I have this feeling

Tasting copper in my mouth

I look to watch the clouds for comfort

Fill in the blanks ~♪

That"s it! When I heard what he said, my eyes widened and I grinned. Oh Lord G.o.d, I couldn’t believe what I just heard from Eros"s mouth.

"I don’t know what to answer you Eros, but if you try, maybe you"ll find the answer to your question."

"There"s nothing to lose if I try right?" For the first time he smiled at me like he was saying "since you"re here."

 I smiled at him. "Nothing to lose."

♪~Suddenly I hate this feeling

Tasting copper in my mouth

I look to watch the clouds for comfort

I hope I don’t let anyone die

Fill in the blanks~♪

"Thank you Eris."

He said something but the bell suddenly rang, and because of it, I couldn’t hear what he was trying to say.  

"What?"

He placed his hand on top of my head and ruffled my hair while he stood up. "Nothing. I will not repeat what I already said."

"Waaa! That"s unfair! What is it?" I also stood up and followed him towards the building.

"I said I will not repeat it."

"What the? What is it?"

"I said you"re deaf."

"Eee! What is it really?"

"It really nothing! Stop bugging me! Shoo!"

"Ero-Ero, what is it?"

"Annoying angel."

I pouted and stuck my tongue out at him because he didn’t want to tell me. Hay, what could it be?

While we were returning to the cla.s.sroom, I smiled to myself. I believe that Eros will prove to the people who judged him that he"s a guy who"s good for something, something good.

"Hey! What are you smiling for?" Eros caught me smiling when he looked back at me.

"Secret."

"You look crazy."

"Thank you!"

"Tss. How annoying!"

TL note(s):

Itwas a trend in Filipino Web Novel to include a song(s) to certain scenes in the story; usually for emotional effect. ♪♫♪♫♪♫

Here’s a link to the song: ( you all next week meows!

Ed(Irene):  To those who are confused, it’s possible to feel indifferent but based on how Eris knows Eros, she guessed that he was truly saddened by everything. P.S. ‘You wish’ can be equivalent to ‘As if’ when used during Fil convos. Okies flies back to my hectic college schedule