"Your father is going to be mad, Eva."
"He"s always mad, Chast.i.ty."
She gasps, and I glance back to see her holding a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide.
"Honor thy father, Eva," she says sharply, a scandalized look on her face.
"Chas- I know."
"What has gotten into you?"
"What?"
"You"ve just been so off since you got back from your mission trip."
"Well, I did get dumped by my fiance," I spit back, yanking a volunteer shirt on.
"The Lord had other plans for him."
"Plans like him s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g Jessica Wilkes?"
Her face goes white. "Eva!" She fans herself. "Lord, Eva!"
"Sorry."
She takes a shaky breath, as if she"s just gone through some sort of ordeal by me saying the word "s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g".
"Well, at least Milton is coming to meet you soon. He"s very handsome, Eva."
"And divorced."
"His wife left him," she says curtly.
"Sounds familiar."
We head down the stairs to the kitchen. "Well, his divorce has been okayed by the parish council."
"Oh, how nice for him," I say dryly.
"It is, Eva. It means he can marry again."
"Chast.i.ty," I turn, scrunching my face up at her. "He"s so much older."
"And established in the community, and well off, and mature and stable. Honestly, I think you could do with some stableness, Eva."
"You might be right."
She smiles. "C"mon. Let"s get to work building the Kingdom."
I resist rolling my eyes as I follow her out the back door.
I want to get into it. I know I should. I know diving into this project is exactly what I need and exactly the right thing for me.
Apparently, picking things that aren"t right for me is a new thing of mine.
But, like I said, I want to be a part of this, but when the head volunteer asked for someone to make a coffee run, I"m the first hand that goes up, if just to get away from it all for a little while.
I head down the street and around the corner.
Lynn isn"t as quaint as Shelter Harbor of course, but then, that"s probably why they got the building s.p.a.ce for the center so cheap.
I stroll past a few storefronts until I get to the coffee shop and step inside.
That dream last night. I feel the shiver run through me at the thought of it. G.o.d, what was that? That was...wrong is what it was. Wicked. Sinful.
There"s a flush of guilt that pulses through me, as I think about how I still haven"t showered the dream away - how I still haven"t washed the evidence of that sin away from my body.
In a dark, wicked way, I feel alive knowing I haven"t.
"Great minds think alike."
I whirl as the voice from my dream whispers into my ear.
For real this time.
"Um, hi."
Rowan nods. "Playing hooky?"
"Excuse me?"
He grins. "Are you ditching work today?"
"Oh, no." I shake my head, trying to act extra chipper.
Trying to act like I"m not totally replaying the dream last night right now - the one where he pulled me onto his c.o.c.k and took my virginity in a church.
I swallow the blush that creeps into my face.
"No, I"m just going on a coffee run for the volunteers." I peer at him. "What are you doing here?"
"Eh, I"m like a bad penny. I just keep turning up."
I grin.
We stand in silence, before I step forward and order enough coffee for the whole crew. Thankfully, they have one of those cardboard jugs that holds forty cups or something.
"Here, I got that."
"I can manage it."
Rowan shrugs. "If you say so."
I almost heave the giant thing of coffee off the counter before I glance back at him. "Okay, fine."
"Oh, I can carry it now?"
I stick my tongue out at him. "Yes."
"Yes...?"
I roll my eyes. "Yes, please."
We walk side-by-side back to the job site.
"So, I"ve, um..."
I trail off, my brow furrowing.
"Yes?"
"I"ve been thinking about our trade."
He turns and grins at me. "And?"
And I can"t talk about that stuff with you because it turns me around and on, and it"s inappropriate and it"s making me have filthy s.e.x dreams about you involving a church.
"I- you don"t have to teach me anything," I blush at the word "teach", like it"s a dirty word or something. "I"m not going to tell anyone about the guy and the money, so I"m just saying you don"t have to do anything either, okay?"
"Well that doesn"t seem fair."
"It"s fine you don"t have to."
"But wouldn"t it be more fun if I did?"
His voice whispers and teases into my ears, just like in the dream. I gasp, turning towards him as the dream comes rushing back, my face flushed.
"I-" I swallow. "I don"t know."
"I"m very good at this stuff, you know."
"What, talking?"
"s.e.x."
My face turns hot as I look away.
Rowan chuckles.
"Honestly, I could give you a PhD in rocking your new husband"s world."
"He"s not my husband."
"Well, future husband, or whatever. Your betrothed."
"I thought we were not in feudal England."
"Says the girl whose father is setting up a marriage for her."
I rake my teeth across my bottom lip, the wheels turning in my head.
"Okay, if we do this-"
Rowan grins, his brows raising at me.
"The questions, Rowan."
He laughs. "Yes?"
"We need to have rules."
"Uh oh."
"What?"
"I"m bad with rules."
"No, just, you know, boundaries."
"I"m worse with those."
I bite my lip again.
"This sort of sounds like you"re sidestepping the whole thing."
I frown. "No, I just-"
"Here, what about this. Let"s just start. Right now."
"Here?" I squeak, immediately, rolling my eyes at myself.
"Yeah, just go ahead."
"How?"
"Just ask away."
I shake my head. "No, that- not here."