: Remorse and self-blaming


Zhao Youyue stepped out of the ‘Two Dimensional Gate.’ Her heart felt empty. She found herself crying as if she had just experienced a heartbreaking dream.


Chu Luoxun may have been her, but she still could not help feeling sad for her own end.


She decided not to create any sorrowful characters anymore, even if it’s for the sake of obtaining iconic character cards. It caused her so much pain…


Character cards with high popularity could also be utilized. They could even be sacrificed before running out.


Zhao Youyue had suffered way too much for the ‘Chu Luoxun’ card. She even felt herself not being afraid of any disease in reality anymore. She had endured such a scary disease. What else would she possibly be afraid of, in reality?


However, she was very concerned about her current health condition. She asked her parents to be concerned about theirs as well. His father Zhao Jiayi, laughed. Was his private hospital merely a decoration?


Besides, his private hospital also emphasized on recuperation, and was full of retired veteran cadres…


Zhao Youyue considered herself gaining a lot even if she did not obtain Chu Luoxun’s card. G.o.ddess Chu’s life was unbelievably tough. Zhao Youyue could not even determine how much of her tsundere had been worn away.


The reason Zhao Youyue fought so hard was because she wanted this G.o.ddess card ‘Chu Luoxun’ too much!


If the character cards were to be graded in terms of stars, the ‘Chu Luoxun’ card would definitely be the rarest of the five-star grades. The person who obtains it would be invincible in the music realm!


Of course, it also included the mental state with maximized optimism, fort.i.tude, and self-confidence. Moreover, one would also possess the G.o.ddess aura that was released by Chu Luoxun whenever she appears on stage!


There was only a small sequela. G.o.ddess Chu loved to smile too much. She would easily smile. There was a little sense of silliness to it. However, compared to this small issue, the abilities and mental state that Zhao Youyue would obtain from this card, washes everything else away.


If a character such as Chu Luoxun appears in reality, she would be considered a superbug. Even if general writers tried to construct her image, they would never be able to write in a proper way. She was a ‘Super Marie Su"[1] character.


However, Leng Zi was a genius writer. Geniuses have endless possibilities. She used her ‘intoxicated’ state to write about Chu Luoxun. She made up for the sense of disbelief. Chu Luoxun’s disease had also pulled herself down from the G.o.ddess altar, showing that she was a mortal like everyone else. If not, the character ‘Chu Luoxun,’ in all her ridiculous perfection and master-over-all, would be too far-fetched to be conceivable.


If an overly-perfect girl like Chu Luoxun is to be well constructed, she must have some serious shortcomings. If not, she would never possibly become an iconic character.


The “Two Dimensional Gate” went into cooldown again, with no visible timer to be seen. We would have to wait until the novel’s finale enters the market and receives the readers’ verdict. It is only until then could we proceed to the conclusion on whether ‘Chu Luoxun’ becomes an iconic character, or otherwise.


August was closing in. Zhao Youyue would begin her job as ‘Yu Shengfan’s’ VA, very soon. Realistically speaking, as a youth novel with around 200,000 words, “Beautiful April” would be entirely serialized, by October, at latest. After all, the serial had started in April, producing slightly more than 30,000 words per month, which would cover 200,000 words in six months.


However, the Mengya Magazine Agency had agreed to Han Leng’s request of increasing the total word count for each issue within July and August. As a high school student, Han Leng was currently having his summer vacation. He would be able to dish out more words than usual.


The reason why they had given his case special consideration was because “Beautiful April’s” had become too famous. Every time a new issue enters the market; the readers would only hunger for more. They expressed their thirst for more word count in each issue. It was simply not enough!


Dissatisfied readers soon quit following the proper channel, which was no longer adequate. They opted for the pirate version on the internet. Or else, they would rather wait for the completion of “Beautiful April.” Upon completion, the entire novel would be printed on its own. By then, they could directly purchase the original book…


The Mengya Magazine Agency noticed the situation. That’s not good. The sales volume of the entire magazine had been increasing due to the so-called ‘Best youth novel of the year,"”Beautiful April.” The character ‘Chu Luoxun,’ was even more popular. Many famous actresses had expressed their intentions to play the character.


That’s right. “Beautiful April” was a youth novel that had all the makings of a great movie, catered for adults. Many directors had expressed their interest to film its adaptation. Many actresses noticed the popularity of this character ‘Chu Luoxun.’ Even if they did not understand what this character was about, they would still be able to increase their fame via the character.


This was a rather rare situation. No youth novel had ever been able to cause such a strong, sensational reaction among readers, let alone a female character within a novel. What sort of tidal wave would occur if it’s adapted into a movie? As long as the character is played out to perfection, the movie would be a blockbuster!


Therefore, the Mengya Magazine Agency agreed instantly to Han Leng’s request. They increased the total updated word count for each issue. The sales volume of their magazine had gained further growth as well. It was similar to the online articles. The more substantial the update amount, the higher chances of readers sticking to them.


Han Leng had become a significant presence among the contracted authors within Mengya Magazine. His ident.i.ty would be revealed when his novel is completely published. The famous publisher Lu Jinbo, who had good social relations with Mengya Magazine, had his sights on Han Leng. He intended to make Han Leng the leading figure among youth literature. He happened to be a close friend of the boy’s father, as well.


Han Leng was repeatedly reading through the novel ending he had just written.


His heart felt empty. He could always sense Chu Luoxun’s presence whenever he reads anything pertaining to her, but not this time. She has left them.


He read through the part where he wrote Chu Luoxun’s death. Her surgery turned out to be unsuccessful.


Han Leng hid his head in his arms. He must have been possessed. How could he kill her off?


Why couldn’t he stop his own hands from doing something so stupid?


Han Leng felt a sharp pain in his chest, as if his heart had just been stabbed. He considered himself responsible for erasing Chu Luoxun’s existence from the literary world. He had murdered the girl he cared for the most!


He had actually killed his favorite girl!


He burst into tears shamefully. He still had a chance to modify the content. After all, it had not yet been published. However, he knew that he would never reproduce such an impact, even if he resurrects her.


The character will never be the true Chu Luoxun anymore. It would only be an empty sh.e.l.l without her soul.


His love will only belong to her. No girl would ever replace her.


Translation Note:


[1] Super Marie Su – Super Marie Su refers to the fantasy novels written by females who live in their imagination every day. There is no theme, no proper content, only the exaggerated depiction of a self-created heroine which does not exist in the original novel, yet tangling up with the popular characters of the original novel. Basically, almost the entire vocabulary used to describe a female’s beauty would be applied into her depiction. The heroine is very powerful, and she wins the hearts of all men. She is the perfect heroine.

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