Ber touched Songan"s shoulder. "You did for a short while. Long enough for us to communicate what we needed to."
Songan"s puzzled expression faded to be replaced by comprehension. She wished she knew more about what had happened, but that would have to wait. Right now the only thing that mattered was her mother"s murder had been solved.
"At least you have some answers," Ber said. "A lot more than you did before you came here." Grateful for his insight, she squeezed his knee. He covered her hand with his, and just like that, she remembered what it was to be a woman. As sensual warmth infused her, she leaned against Songan"s shoulder and then Ber"s.
"You"re right," she admitted. "Knowing what happened to Mom is better than not." Situated the way she was, she couldn"t see the men"s expressions but didn"t need to. Songan"s thoughts were on her one hundred percent. He cared only for her emotional health, wanted nothing except for her to be at peace.
Because of what he"d found in the cave, things were more complicated for Ber. In some regard, he would have to go through the same grieving process she had.
"We"ll tell Gannon as soon as we get back," she said. "Let him know everything."
"We don"t know who the men are."
She felt removed from the two who"d tried to kill her, Ber and Songan. For now, the men who"d shot her mother and three bears-more than three-were nothing more than faceless images.
Trapped in the storm.
Ber shrugged. "Someone won"t come home, or if they do, they"ll be in bad shape."
"Good!" she blurted. "He-they-deserve it."
Ber chuckled. The sound wasn"t quite human. "Nature is the great equalizer." Struck by his wisdom, she again b.u.mped his shoulder. "The good guys won today." She didn"t expect him to offer her a high five. The conversation was too sober for that. Still, she loved having said what she had.
"Justice," Songan muttered. "Maybe that"s what it all comes down to." It was more complex than that, she acknowledged as the shifters" heat seeped through her. They were big, powerful, at home in the wilderness in ways she could never be. Despite that, the more time she spent with them, the more like them she was becoming.
For elks and bears, life sometimes boiled down to killing or being killed. Neither creature had much to fear in the wild, yet they saw the basics of life and death every day.
"What are you thinking?" Ber asked.
"I"m not sure." Yes, she was. "Maybe I"m putting my own spin on things because that"s what I need to, but I think Mom would find gallows humor in what"s happening to them." Her throat tightened, then relaxed. "She couldn"t do anything for the sow and her cubs. She couldn"t save her own life. But nature is exacting its own justice."
Leaving the bed, Ber walked over to the door and opened it. Winter rushed in. "The storm isn"t letting up."
Trapped.
Shut up in a small, cozy s.p.a.ce with the shifters who"d changed her.
146.
"There"s food in the backpacks," she said, even though she didn"t care. "And someone left whiskey." Songan"s body touched hers. She felt him everywhere. Ber"s hand was still on the doork.n.o.b, but he"d soon return to her.
"I"m still feeling overwhelmed," she admitted. "There"ll probably be backlash, but right now I"m kind of numb."
"Are you?"
Determined to face Ber"s question, she met his gaze. "I feel more alive than I have since Mom-that isn"t numb, is it?"
"You accomplished what you wanted to. Got to the truth of what happened to her."
"I couldn"t have without the two of you."
Ber nodded. "What happens now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your job in Alaska."
"I don"t know."
"Then you might not go?"
Confused, she told him she didn"t want to leave until the criminal investigation had been completed.
In addition, she had her mother"s estate to deal with. "Her place is well built, but it needs some updating before I can put it on the market. I"ve tried to get started on that..." Leaning forward, Songan stared at the floor. "If this was my cabin, I"d make it bigger."
"A lot bigger," Ber echoed. "With more windows."
"And s.p.a.ce to move around."
Listening to the men, she silently thanked them for changing the subject. "A bigger bed," she offered.
"King size." Room for three.
Standing, Songan touched her waist. She thought he intended to help her get to her feet. Instead, fisting her shirt hem, he drew it over her head. The heat from the woodstove brushed her newly exposed b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her nipples hardened.
As he joined Songan and her, a sound that made her think of a bear slipped out of Ber. He tackled her jeans. Seconds later, she stood naked before them.
"Stand there." Songan pointed toward the wall where the window had been. "Let us look at you." Elk weren"t predators. They didn"t stalk. Just the same, his eyes on her held her in place. It took all her strength to lift her arms enough to brush several strands off her face. Holding on to self-control with all her strength, she turned her attention to the bear shifter. He might be new to her forest, but he belonged here. This wilderness accepted him.
Barely aware of what she was doing, she cupped her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and lifted their weight. Offered them to her lovers.
147.
"Will this be enough?" She looked at Songan and then Ber. "One woman for both of you?" The storm pummeled the cabin"s exterior, and the burning logs snapped. Except for those ordinary things, her world was silent. Ber and Songan studied each other, but she couldn"t make sense of their expressions. She wasn"t sure she wanted to. One or the other, not both? Could she live like that?
"We"ll make it work," Songan said at length. "There will be times when I can"t be around." He nodded at Ber. "When only he"ll be with you."
"And times when the Enyeto need me."
"And times when you need me," she whispered, "To care for your kind"s male babies."
"You"re saying-"
"Maybe."
"You can do that? Give them up when they need to learn what it means to be shifters?" The thought of handing a child she"d cared for and fallen in love with over to someone else made her heart ache and yet- "If that"s best for the child, yes."
"Not a child; a bear shifter."
Too complicated! More than she could comprehend tonight. Looking down, she studied her uplifted b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "This is where I am. As far as my thinking will go."
"I"m not interested in thinking. Or speaking."
Watching Ber shed the clothes he"d recently put on, she wondered if he had any idea how magnificent he was. His pubic hair was as rich and dark as what was on his head. No weights-filled gym could produce muscles like his.
"Your turn," she told Songan. She was surprised she could speak.
"You"re ready for this? After everything that happened today-"
"You got shot, not me." She indicated the lump on his forehead.
"I"m fine." He cupped his jeans-hidden c.o.c.k. "Is this what you want?"
"Are you saying I shouldn"t, that the horror of it all-I just want to be. I need things simple. Intense."
"A break from reality."
Not long ago, Songan had been bothered by his reasoning limitations while in elk form. Now he was more than making up for it. Determined to let him know how important his words were to her, she stepped into his s.p.a.ce. Despite her less than steady fingers, she unsnapped and unzipped his jeans.
Fortunately he then took over while she stepped back and watched. To her way of thinking, deer were more graceful than the heavier, bulkier elk, and yet Songan"s every move was exquisite. Too slow but exquisite.
When Songan"s nudity matched Ber"s, she didn"t compare them, barely gave it a thought. Instead, doing what maybe didn"t matter to them, she retrieved a box of matches from the catch-all drawer and lit the candle she"d found and placed on the table. Deep red hues danced over powerfully muscled bodies.
148.
"I"m not good at this." She licked her numb lips and wiped her sweaty palms on her hips.
"At what?" Ber asked.
"Right now, anything." She chuckled. Her cheeks felt hot. "I want both of you, at the same time, but I don"t know how to make it happen. Or whether that"s what you want." Ber looked over at Songan. After a moment, Songan did the same. They nodded as one.
Two unique and special men, sharing her body. "I guess..." She couldn"t think how to finish.
To her relief, Ber extended his hand. She did the same. Her fingers remained linked with his as he turned her so her back was to him. Before she"d caught on to what he had in mind, he"d wrapped his arm around her waist. Drawing her against his erection, he ran a hand over her hip and down her leg.
"I want to be gentle," he muttered. "After what you"ve been through, you deserve that." Songan was in front of her, looming over her, looking down at her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and making her nipples harden so they hurt. His hands descended onto her shoulders. Suddenly he was so close she saw nothing except a blur.
"Gentle," Songan repeated. His breath washed over her face. "Healing." Ber stroked the outside of her thigh, the touch not gentle but not rough either. She wanted to embrace both of them but couldn"t remember how to make her muscles work.
"I, ah, don"t know about the gentle part," she admitted in a whisper. "It"s getting pretty hot."
"Just be," Ber said. "Let us take care of the rest." Taking a breast into his mouth, Songan bathed her nipple with his warm, damp tongue. A shiver a.s.saulted her.
"Yes, yes," she bleated.
"Don"t forget, you"re in charge," Ber said from behind her.
Not tonight. "This. Oh s.h.i.t, this." Arching her spine, she offered Songan more of herself. She tried to reach behind her so she could touch Ber, but her muscles still refused to respond.
Closing his teeth and lips around her breast, Songan straightened a little. The drawing sensation set off sparks all through her.
Ber"s arm tightened around her.
"What-"
"Trust. We"ll never hurt you."
I know she wanted to a.s.sure him but didn"t. His hand left her thigh then closed around her a.s.s cheek, his nails lightly raking her there.
"G.o.d, you"re killing me!"
"No," Ber said, "I"m not. Neither is he."
She"d regretted blurting what she had the moment the words escaped, but the mood might change if she said anything. Early evening in the middle of the snow-blanketed forest was all about emotion and sensation and the blending of three bodies. A minimum of thinking.
149.
Legs on fire and feet going numb, she stood between the male shifters as Songan suckled and teased her breast and Ber repeatedly ma.s.saged her a.s.s cheek. Every time Ber"s nails teased her b.u.t.tock or Songan lightly sc.r.a.ped her nipple, she gasped and twisted about. She didn"t want to be free, never that! But the sensations-too much to stand still for!
At the same time, not enough.
"You"re good for me," Ber muttered. "Exactly what I need today."
"I want to be." Today and tomorrow.
Songan opened his mouth, allowing her breast to slide out. She mourned, antic.i.p.ated. Believed herself capable of flying. Capturing her other breast, Songan lightly sucked. Much more of this and the top of her head would explode.
Ber exhaled. His breath swirled over the back of her neck. "I never expected this," he said. "It"s beyond everything-more than-you have no idea."
Think. Put your mind to what he just said. Help the three of us understand.
The effort wore her out. And yet twisting and shifting so Ber"s heavy c.o.c.k ground against the small of her back accomplished something vital. Essential. Light-headed, she pushed against him. "My offering to you. My body is yours to do what you want with it, what you need." Fresh air suddenly a.s.saulted the breast Songan had recently claimed. Looking up, she saw him looming over her. "You too." She meant it with all her heart. "Songan, I only have one p.u.s.s.y. Please understand why I want him to have it first."
"Tell me."
"You were wounded. If you"d been in human form, the bullet might have killed you." A tremor briefly silenced her. "But so was he."
"What do you mean?"
Filling her lungs didn"t do enough to distract her from Ber"s c.o.c.k probing her tailbone and Songan"s breath feathering through her hair, so she took another breath. "Not all wounds bleed. Some-maybe the most painful-touch the heart."
"And those wounds are?"
"What he found in that cave."
Songan didn"t immediately respond. Going by Ber"s labored breathing, she wondered if the bear shifter was so far into arousal that he didn"t care what she"d just said. Maybe he was deliberately distancing himself.
"Do you understand what I"m saying?" she pressed. "What he"s feeling?" A low sound rumbled out of Songan. Cupping his hand under her chin, he lifted her head. His lips lightly touched hers. Pressure grew. Sensation spread. She cried out.