Except for acknowledging the cool air, she paid little attention to the change. It would take a lot more than a breeze to kill the desire tearing at her.
Songan"s hold let up a little. Freeing her arms, she wrapped them around his neck. No doubt about it, being in rut added bulk and muscle to his human form. As a wildlife biologist, she was familiar with the creatures that inhabited the Northwest forests. Songan was at his s.e.xual peak. Depending on how well he took care of himself and how many bull-to-bull battles he got into, he could stay like this for years. Be everything she wanted in a man.
In a distracted way, she knew she had no business letting his body take control of hers, but she"d been fantasizing about this moment for too long, when she could be free of grief. Needed it too much. She"d gone looking for him because she wanted justice for her mother, but even that would have to wait.
First and maybe always came feeding this awesome hunger.
A low whimper escaped her as she stood on her toes, tilted her head and raked her teeth over the side of his neck. Grunting, he lifted her off her feet. Since moving away from Forestville, she"d engaged in rough s.e.x with two men, but they hadn"t outweighed her by over a hundred pounds and weren"t more than a foot taller.
They weren"t half animal.
17.
"What"s this?" Smiling slightly, he turned his head so she could see the red marks she"d left on him.
"Some point you"re trying to make?"
"Impulse. Craziness."
"Caused by what?"
My mother"s murder. "It"s not like we"ve ever set any limits set on what happens between us. Let me down."
Smiling, he shook both his head and her. "Like you said, no limits or boundaries." He"s in his prime, dangerously so. Don"t do something stupid. Despite her warning, however, she lightly pressed a knee to his groin. "Things haven"t changed with you. You still insist on being in control."
"Human nature." Giving her a look she couldn"t fathom, he lowered her to the ground but kept his hands on her waist. Her fingers dragged over his neck.
"You aren"t human, not all the way."
"And you can"t handle it. That"s why you left."
"That wasn"t the only reason, and you know it. It was time for me to find out who I was. In part to break the addiction between us." Any other woman would probably be too intimidated to say what she just had, but Songan brought out something strong and wild in her, something she didn"t understand or trust.
"You also wanted more than any elk shifter can give," he said. "Me being there all the time."
"Not now. That"s not what I-"
"What then?" he demanded. "d.a.m.n it, Rane. I am what I am, just as you are."
"What are you saying?" Lightning hadn"t struck. Songan and Songan alone was responsible for what raged through her. "That I don"t live up to your expectations because I"m not a shifter?"
"I"ve always accepted you. I just wish you felt the same way."
"It"s easier for you. You don"t have to deal with human emotions all the time." The words weren"t out before she wished she could take them back. "Look, I"m sorry. This is hardly the time to-what brought you here?" She nodded in the direction of the dead elk. "Did you sense-maybe you heard shots."
"I don"t know." Letting up on the pressure around her waist, he started stroking her there. Her nerves jumped. "Maybe you"re responsible."
He was talking about the powerful connection that had once existed between them, a connection she"d believed she had to sever if she was ever going to live her own life.
These mountains had once been part of her world, but they no longer were. She had to remind herself of that, somehow.
But later. When her body no longer cried out for him.
She"d intended to beg for his help in finding out who had murdered her mother, not beg him for s.e.x.
As early as this morning, she"d believed, or told herself she believed, that her need for justice would see her through seeing Songan but not wanting to f.u.c.k him.
18.
What a d.a.m.nable liar she"d been.
Feeling as if she was drowning and flying at the same time, she yanked her flannel shirt hem out of her jeans waistband. Her fingers jabbed at the b.u.t.tons, and she fumbled repeatedly before she managed to free all of them. An insistent inner voice cried hurry, hurry, hurry as she attacked her jeans fastening. To h.e.l.l with that broken nail. She"d never cared about how her hands looked anyway.
Grabbing her shirt, Songan pulled it as far off her shoulders as he could, given her determination to get out of her jeans.
She felt no need to speak. Action said everything. Obviously Songan felt the same, because the moment she"d finished her task, he spun her away from him. Not asking permission, he tore off her top and hauled her jeans down over her hips.
Despite the hindrance, she crouched and clawed at her boots" lacing. Songan unhooked her bra and started to pull it off her, causing her to stumble. Muttering something unintelligible, he gave her his legs to brace against. Once she"d succeeded in loosening the boots, she lifted a foot and tried to shake off her footwear.
Something moved in the nearby woods. Tense, she clutched Songan"s arm with both hands. With the veins at her temples pulsing, her ability to hear was compromised, but her sight was still sharp, wasn"t it? A little more time and she"d know who or what was out there.
"What?" Songan muttered.
"I"m not sure. Something."
19.
Chapter Three.
Motionless, Songan looked in the same direction she was. The clouds were still darkening, but that wasn"t the only reason she was having trouble making out details. Being around Songan had always made her stupid. Stupid and h.o.r.n.y. Maybe dangerously so today.
He tensed and let out a long, slow breath. Then he inhaled, and she guessed he was searching for telling smells. She tried to do the same, but Songan"s earthy scent was so strong.
"Bear," he whispered.
Of course. Now that Songan had pointed out the obvious, she made out the large, dusky form among the equally dark tree trunks. The creature was down on all fours with his head high and nose up, looking at them.
"He didn"t leave." She winced at having voiced something so obvious. Then because it was driving her crazy dangling from her shoulders, and certainly the creature didn"t care, she finished pulling off her bra. If this turned into a footrace, she didn"t stand a chance.
What was she thinking? Songan would protect her.
Except he was now in human form, naked and unarmed.
"My rifle." She tried to determine how far away it was, but Songan"s form was in the way.
"You won"t need it."
A shiver that might or might not be a reaction to the wind struck her. Still studying the bear, Songan drew her against his warm, strong chest. "You can"t know that," she told him.
"He"s content to watch."
Her lips went numb. "Watch?"
"Us having s.e.x."
The world suddenly became even less comprehensible than it had the day she"d learned her mother was missing, but as much as she needed Songan to explain how he could be so sure about the bear, she knew better than to ask because he understood the other creatures that called the forest home.
"We"re going to f.u.c.k," he said. "Now."
He was right. Until mutual need had been fed, nothing else mattered, not even justice for her mother.
Thinking to hide her wanton response, she started to sigh, then swallowed the lying sound. Songan knew her too well for anything except honesty on her part. Her leaving hadn"t changed that.
Besides, Songan knew her body as intimately as she did, maybe more.
"Watch, then," she silently told the distant bear. "You"ll do what you want, same as us." Relegating the grizzly to a quiet part of her mind, she watched and waited and trembled as Songan crouched and placed her left boot on his thigh. Running her fingers into his tangled hair, she balanced herself. He wasted no time pulling off her footwear, followed by her jeans, but left her practical panties untouched.
Palms together, Songan slid his hands between her thighs. Believing he intended to head for her p.u.s.s.y, she closed her eyes and held her breath. Her heart raced. His hands didn"t move.
"Songan?"
"I"m still elk." The words came out low and rushed. "In rut. Don"t forget that."
"I won"t." Could she fully comprehend what that meant?
"I have needs."
Leaning into him, she rubbed her b.r.e.a.s.t.s against his face. Her nipples were already hard, but they tightened even more, almost painfully so. Seeking both distraction and a way of responding to what he"d just said, she hooked her thumbs over the elastic in her panties and began a downward journey. Much as she wanted to go slow, she couldn"t. When her b.u.t.tocks were exposed, she was forced to stop because his hands were in the way. Trusting him to finish what she"d begun, she straightened. As she did, she admired the strength in his legs that allowed him to crouch for so long.
Leaving the garment he must know she had no use for in place, he exhaled. His breath floated over her naked belly. Eyes unfocused and breathing ragged, she followed the warmth into her pubic hair and between her legs.
"Foreplay?" she managed. "I like. Oh d.a.m.n, I like."
He leaned into her and raked her belly much as she"d done to his neck earlier. Swaying, she clamped her fingers over his shoulders. The moment she did, she realized she"d set the stage for what she knew was going to happen next. Foreplay was for civilized men and women, not a half man/half elk and a wild woman who had spent much of her life outdoors.
Songan surged to his feet, lifting her and heaving her over his shoulder as he did.
"What the-" she started.
"Putting distance between us and the dead elk."
Lost in conflicting thoughts, she waited as Songan walked them away from the body. "Thank you," she said at length.
"Don"t talk." He slapped her bare a.s.s.
"Hey, that hurts."
"No, it doesn"t."
21.
Planting her hands against his back to brace her upper body, she lifted her head and looked around.
There the bear was, a large shadow barely distinguishable from other shadows and thinking thoughts she couldn"t comprehend.
Thoughts? Yes.
Songan stood with one arm looped around her middle. The other stroked her b.u.t.tocks. No way could she call his touch anything except firm, hard almost. The pressure ate into her, going steadily deeper, claiming her. Caught in sensation, she let her head drop and pulled his scent deep into her. Running her nails over his back, she noted his spine, ribs and muscle.
When he slid his hand between her legs and ran a finger along her wet, hot s.e.x, a mewling sound rolled out of her. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s slid over his shoulder blades, prompting her to rear away and then fall back down, twisting her upper body as she did so her nipples stroked his flesh. There. Let him try to ignore that.
Perhaps he knew what she had in mind but was determined to stay in charge when he made a return trip to her p.u.s.s.y. This intimate exploration lasted longer and went deeper.
"d.a.m.n you." Why did she have to sound so delighted?
"No talking. The only thing you need to do is experience." With that, he lightly thumped her c.l.i.t.
A hot wave rolled through her. With it came surrender. Everything else could wait, even vengeance and justice. What did she care whether the clouds continued to gather, at whose hands the young elk had met its death, why the bear was still around? The world beyond her body didn"t exist.