My shoes and socks, still soaked, sent a shiver through me as I pulled them on. With nothing to carry, nothing to cover my scarlet letter, I folded my arms over my chest and crept from the gym, out into the cafeteria-food-scented hall. I stared at my feet, my wet hair shielding the sides of my face, and slunk toward the front doors. I was going home.
My shoulders sagged with relief as the doors came into view-until I realized someone was standing beside them. Mike Williams from track stepped in front of the doors and folded his arms over his thick chest. I knew the look in his surly brown eyes all too well. He was not going to let me get past him without a fight.
My steps slowed and I let my arms dangle at my sides. Could I fight my way past him and then sprint home? I was a faster runner, and if I got a solid punch in before he did ... I perched on the b.a.l.l.s of my feet and gritted my teeth. But there was a problem. If I fought him, I"d be expelled and I was so close to graduating that I could almost taste it.
A bell blared.
Bodies filled the hall. A horde of hungry students stood between me and the freedom of those front doors.
People started noticing me and the chatter in the hall died down to the swish of whispers. Everyone stopped walking and stared, pointing to the scarlet letter on my shirt. As if they had been waiting for me. As if they had been told what to look for.
A shrill laugh pealed through the quiet hall, sending a fresh shiver down my spine.
"Didn"t I tell you?" a female voice said. "She"s a prost.i.tute. Has been picked up by the police for streetwalking more times than I can count on both my hands." Danni strutted down the hall toward me, smirking in spite of the black bruise circling her eye. My hands balled into angry fists. "Yep. She is a wh.o.r.e. A parentless, streetwalking, professional wh.o.r.e who can"t keep her clothes on. Just look at the letter on her shirt." Danni smiled and started laughing.
"Leave her alone, Danni." Yana pushed through the crowd, her eyes locked on mine. Danni stepped in front of her and blocked her way.
"Get out of here, little squaw. This has nothing to do with you."
Yana shoved Danni, but a guy I didn"t know grabbed Yana, yanking her into the crowd. It didn"t matter. If Danni wanted me to fight, she was out of luck. Not even the satisfaction of pounding her face in again could induce me to jeopardize graduating.
Danni slid through the crowd to stand in front of me, and that is when I saw what she held snug under her arm. A rectangular, dog-eared file folder bulging with papers. The sight of it made my ears ring and my knees knock together. I pinched myself, hoping I was in a nightmare and about to wake up.
She raised her hand and slapped me across the face. My cheek flamed with pain and I knew this was no nightmare. It was something worse.
"That"s for giving me a black eye. I couldn"t get prom pictures because of it," Danni said.
"You"re so full of c.r.a.p," I snarled. "You couldn"t get pictures because you didn"t have a date. Your ex-date was with me."
"Yeah, only until I told him about your police record!" she replied loud and clear, taking the folder from under her arm. "Maggie Mae has been arrested at least a dozen times. Listen-" Graduation at risk or not, I couldn"t let her read what was in that file. I lunged for her, fists primed for some serious damage.
Hands cinched in a death grip on my shoulders before I could swing. I turned, expecting to see a teacher, and looked right into the eyes of Mike Williams, Danni"s brother.
A paper rustled. I looked back at Danni. She scanned the sheet of paper in her hand and started reading. "June 24, 4:37 a.m., Albuquerque. Magdalene Mae Mortensen found nude in an alley with homeless man. Picked up by police." She flung the paper aside and pulled out another from the file. "December 3, 3:17 a.m., Albuquerque. Magdalene Mae Mortensen found nude wandering city street. Picked up by police." She threw that paper aside and got another. "This one"s from a month ago," Danni announced.
I lunged for her again, fighting against the fingers digging into my shoulders, but couldn"t get away.
Danni looked at me and smirked. "Looks like you already know what it says." She cleared her throat and read, practically yelling, "March 26, 5:55 a.m., Albuquerque. Magdalene Mae Mortensen found nude on city street, a.s.saulting a prost.i.tute for possession of a jacket. Picked up by police." She looked at me. "Do you have anything to say in your defense?" she asked, tossing the paper aside. Someone caught the paper-someone I didn"t know-and started reading.
"No way, man! It"s true," the someone said, pa.s.sing the paper to someone else.
"s.l.u.t," Mike said. "I bet that"s why you left prom. You had to go out and make some money!" Wetness splattered my face and something thick and warm slowly slid down my cheek. I touched the warm goo, pulled my hand away to look at it, and almost gagged. Mike had spit on me.
Someone else spit, this time hitting me on the ear. Then everyone started spitting. Mike let go of me, running for cover. The halls might as well have had rain clouds in them for how much moisture was flying through the air, all aimed at me.
"Leave her alone!" Yana yelled. She was pinned against the white tiled wall, thrashing against the guy holding her there.
I turned to leave, but my way was blocked. I shoved someone aside, a guy from my English cla.s.s, but he grabbed my wrist and flung me back into the middle of the riot. Well, I wasn"t going to stand for that. I turned and socked him in the nose and strode past him, but he grabbed the back of my shirt and flung me down onto my b.u.t.t in the center of the students. That"s when things went from really bad to freaking horrible. Everyone started throwing things at me-pencils, crumpled paper, a banana from someone"s lunch-anything they could get their hands on.
I jumped to my feet and shoved through the tightly circled ma.s.s of bodies imprisoning me in my own personal h.e.l.l. But Mike shoved me back into the frenzy.
Panic and anger swirled in me, making me feel too big for my body. My animal instincts kicked in and I started attacking Mike, scratching, kicking, hitting-anything to get away. Until my nails p.r.i.c.ked into fine claws and I heard the underlying throb of hearts. I was about to change into an animal, right here in front of everybody. For the briefest flash of a second, I debated what would be worse-to turn into an animal and fight my way free, or give up?
I stopped fighting.
I crouched down on the floor, pressed my forehead to my knees, and covered my head, waiting for the interruption I knew must be coming. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I made the mistake of looking up. I only saw Danni"s face for a split second before she smashed a bowl of hot chili into my face.
"What is wrong with you people?" a voice boomed. The hall became hushed. "Danni, get away from her now, or so help me, I"ll pummel you!"
"But she"s a prost.i.tute!" Danni protested weakly.
"I don"t care if she"s a murderer! Leave her alone! Get out of here and leave her alone! All of you! Get out of here!"
Feet shuffled over the food-spattered floor as people moved away, and then Coach was with me, pulling me to my feet and wiping chili and melted cheese off my cheeks. He cursed under his breath and began wiping my face with the hem of his shirt.
"Bridger, run and get a wet towel from one of the lunch ladies," Coach barked. He hugged me to him, not minding that he held someone wet with saliva and juice and spattered with all sorts of cafeteria food.
I didn"t mean to cry, but I couldn"t help it.
"Oh, no. Are those tears from my best sprinter?" Coach asked. "You can take a fall on the hurdles and not even blink, but when you get a little chili in your eye, you cry?" His voice sounded strange. I looked up and saw tears trickling down his bristly cheeks. "I"m so sorry, honey," Coach whispered, hugging my head to his chest.
Bridger appeared with two damp washcloths. One was pressed to his nose and soaked with blood. Coach took the other and began wiping my face and arms. "Let"s get you home, Maggie," Coach said when the foulest things were wiped from my skin. "I"ll drive you."
"I"d rather walk. I need to be alone," I told him between sniffles.
"But it"s raining," Coach protested.
"Rain isn"t going to hurt me."
"Maggie Mae, I can"t let you leave without calling Mrs. C. first. Wait right here." Coach trotted toward the office.
I didn"t wait. Bridger"s dark gaze followed me as I made my silent, humiliated way to the front doors.
The day was uncommonly cold, yet I didn"t feel it. I was glad for the icy rain washing the filth from me as I slowly trudged through the mud puddles on the side of the road.
I hated my life. I hated school. I was so miserable I stuck my thumb out as cars pa.s.sed, eager to hitch a ride with anyone, anywhere, if it meant never having to go to Silver High again.
Several cars pa.s.sed, splattering me with mud, when a truck pulled to a stop in front of me. My heart started pounding as I asked myself if I was brave enough to get into that truck and go, empty-handed, into the wide world and fend for myself. I had nothing, not even my jacket-just the shirt on my back.
Someone wearing a bright yellow rain slicker got out of the truck and splashed through the roadside puddles to my side.
"Coach called me," a familiar voice said. I peered beneath the slicker hood, into the anxious eyes of Mrs. Carpenter. "Let"s get you home. I"ll draw up a nice hot bath for you and make hot cocoa." She put an arm around me and guided me to the car.
I couldn"t decide whether I was happy to see her or not.
12.
Shash must have felt the anxiety coursing through my body and causing my stomach to hurt. He stuck to me like a shadow as I walked through the barn to the chicken coop.
The chickens either couldn"t sense my inner turmoil or they were too plain dumb to notice. They didn"t protest in the least as I reached beneath them and stole the warm brown- and green-speckled eggs from their nests and put them in a basket.
With the eggs gathered, I threw a cupful of grain onto the ground and locked the coop. Walking to the other side of the barn, I sat on the bottom step of a flight of stairs leading up to a padlocked door and sat. Shash followed.
"Trust me," I said, stroking his soft forehead. "I"d trade places with you in a heartbeat."
It was Tuesday morning, and I had to leave for the bus in twenty minutes. Mrs. Carpenter hadn"t said anything about me not going, so I was thinking up all kinds of excuses to keep myself away from Silver High. My throat hurt, I was having cramps, my vision was blurred, appendicitis ... they were all lies, but I didn"t care. I couldn"t go back and face all of those students. I didn"t have it in me.
I would drop out and start a new life, maybe back in Albuquerque, working a minimum-wage job for the rest of my uneducated existence-if I could keep out of jail now that I was eighteen, legally an adult, and running the risk of getting in some real trouble for my indecent exposure. Even flipping burgers at McDonald"s till I was able to retire didn"t sound nearly as daunting as going back to school.
Shash whined.
"I know. Looks like I"ll be making another fresh start. Again." I left the barn and trudged to the house. It was warm inside and scented with bacon. I carried the eggs to the kitchen, where Mrs. Carpenter was hanging up the telephone.
"That was my son, John," she informed me.
Great, I thought, she"s called my psychiatrist.
"He"s glad to finally know the reason behind your indecent exposure," she continued.
I almost dropped the eggs. "You told him?"
Mrs. Carpenter pursed her lips. "He says he can"t imagine why you didn"t tell him yourself. Nude sleepwalking isn"t common, but it"s nothing to be ashamed of." She chuckled and took the eggs. "He says there"s a cure."
"Oh, really?"
"Stop sleeping in the buff."
I smiled and some of the knots in my stomach loosened.
"I thought I"d drive you to school today," Mrs. Carpenter said as she cracked eggs into a bowl. The knots in my stomach retied themselves. "Thought we could go meet with the princ.i.p.al."
"I can"t go back," I whispered.
"It seems you need to make a choice today. You"re eighteen. You can do whatever you want with your life." She faced me and put her warm hands on my cheeks. Peering right into my eyes, she said, "But never let another person"s actions dictate how you are going to live your life, Maggie Mae. You are a strong, smart girl. If you never return to Silver High, what kind of message is that going to send Danni Williams?"
"That she won." The words hurt coming out, because the way I saw it, she had.
"Smart cookie, you are. I"ll be darned if you let her win." Mrs. Carpenter dropped her hands from my face and started whisking the eggs.
"Is that what Mr. Petersen told you to say?" I asked.
"No. He told me to send you to the school in the next town over. Let you make another fresh start. I told him it was time you stood up for yourself and stayed put. So chin up. It"s time to show Silver City what Maggie Mae Mortensen is made of."
Mrs. Carpenter and I arrived at the school fifteen minutes after cla.s.s had started. The halls were silent. When we got to the princ.i.p.al"s office, Dr. Smith wasn"t waiting for us alone. Coach was in one of the chairs opposite his desk, and standing beside him was Ollie.
"Good morning, Opal," Coach said to Mrs. Carpenter, standing so she could have his chair. "And Maggie Mae."
"h.e.l.lo, Maggie Mae," Ollie said, holding his hand out.
I forced myself to stop wringing my icy hands and nodded at Coach, then shook Ollie"s hand. I took a seat beside Mrs. Carpenter.
"Good morning," Dr. Smith said, adjusting his gla.s.ses.
"Well, Raymond, would you like to tell her or shall I?" Mrs. Carpenter, never one to beat around the bush, asked him.
"I want to tell her," Coach interjected. He had a gleam of satisfaction in his eyes, the same look he"d gotten when I beat the school"s fifty-yard dash record. "Dave Whitlock and Mike Williams are suspended." Coach smiled grimly. "They will not be returning to school for the rest of the week."
"What about Danni?" I asked, my breath quickening.
"Danni"s not suspended," Coach said. I opened my mouth to protest but Coach held up his hand. "She"s been expelled. If she wants to graduate, she has to find a new school to attend. She planned the attack on you, Maggie Mae. Got Mike and Dave to help her."
A chill shivered down my spine.
Ollie cleared his throat. "Danni came over to visit me Friday night and asked about you, but I wouldn"t tell her any details of your case. She must have snuck into my office and stolen your file. I"m really sorry."
"What about Bridger? What part did he play?" I thought of his b.l.o.o.d.y nose and wondered who"d given it to him. I wished it had been me.
"He was in the chem lab finishing up an a.s.signment. When he heard the fight, he tried to get to you, but Dave fought him away, so he came and got me," Coach said. "Dave hit him. That"s why his nose was bleeding."
I bit my lip and tried to ignore the guilt bubbling up in me.
"Do you have anything to add, Raymond?" Mrs. Carpenter asked.
I looked at the princ.i.p.al. He didn"t need to add anything-I could see it in his eyes. He was cursing the day I came to his school. If I hadn"t come, none of this would have happened.
"I"m sorry for the unfortunate events that have surrounded you, Ms. Mortensen," he said. "We have done everything in our power to maintain proper behavior at this school. No one else will hara.s.s you, but if they do, they will suffer consequences. You had better get to cla.s.s."
" "Kay," I said, and stood.
Mrs. Carpenter and I left the office. "Do you want me to walk you back to the truck?" I asked.
"No, thank you, Maggie Mae. I"ll see you after school." She wrapped me in a hug. "I"m proud of you," she whispered. And then she strode away.
The bell rang and the halls filled with students, though there was such a subdued air about them, you"d think they were on their way to a funeral, not second period. I swung my duffle to my shoulder and started weaving my way through the crowd. But when I saw glossy black hair above square shoulders, I stopped.
Bridger must have felt my eyes boring into the back of his head. He turned around and his eyes met mine. I looked away and took a deep breath, and walked past him.
"Hey, Maggie Mae." I stopped walking and found Ginger hovering behind me. "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about what happened."
"Thanks," I said, stunned.