There was still no sign of Bill and, after some hesitation, she gave in to Peter"s pleas to let him stay home and do the farm work.
Just before noon someone knocked on the door. Her neighbour Elsie stood there.
*It"s bad news, love," she said gently. *Can I come in?"
What next? Maggie thought.
*Tom Lester found Bill"s body down one of the side tracks. He"d been killed by one of those huge branches. You know how suddenly they can drop." Elsie leaned forward to clasp her hand. *I"m so sorry, love. The men are bringing his body back."
Maggie sat there feeling utterly numb. It couldn"t be true. But when she looked at Elsie"s face, she knew it was. *I should be crying," she said in surprise. Instead her eyes felt burning and dry.
*Grief affects us all differently."
*I can"t seem to take it in." And she felt more angry than grief-stricken. How was she to manage the farm without him? *The children. Can you fetch them in? I need to tell them before they see .a.a. anything."
*My Mick"s fetching them."
There were footsteps outside and the children came in.
Elsie stood up. *I"ll leave you alone for a bit."
Maggie waited till the door had shut then took a deep breath and told them.
Jenny burst into tears and flung herself into her mother"s arms.
Peter stared bitterly at the floor. *I suppose he was drunk again."
It was shocking that an eleven-year-old boy should say such a thing of his father, even more shocking that it was true.
*What are we going to do now?" he asked in an angry tone. *Will we lose our farm?"
*I don"t know. I haven"t had time to think." She heard voices in the distance and stood up. *They"re bringing him back."
The men had Bill"s body on a gate, covered up by an old blanket.
*It was a heavy branch. Best the kids don"t see him," one man said gruffly. *We should put him somewhere outside, Mrs Spencer."
She led them to the storage shed, standing with her arms wrapped round herself as they set down the man-sized bundle.
*Do you want to look at him?"
*No."
*We"ve sent for the doctor to certify his death."
Elsie came to put an arm round her. *Are you going to be all right?"
*Yes."
*Send one of the children across to fetch me if you need anything, anything at all."
Peter remained angry, Jenny tearful. In the end, Maggie said, *The cows and horse and hens still need looking after. Come on. Best we keep ourselves busy."
But she couldn"t stop her thoughts buzzing round and round like flies on a piece of meat.
How terrible that Bill should survive the war and then die like this. Would she and the children have to leave the farm? Go back to England? To her surprise, she didn"t want to do that. Somehow, Australia had become home to her now.
It was four hours before the doctor came and p.r.o.nounced Bill officially dead, scribbling a death certificate and offering his condolences.
That evening some men came round with a rough coffin they"d made. *The doc will let them know in Pemberton that we need to bury your husband tomorrow," one of them said. *And afterwards, we"ll take it in turns to give you a hand for an hour or two each day till you decide what to do. You can"t manage on your own."
*Thank you. I"m grateful."
But she still couldn"t cry, just a couldn"t.
It wasn"t until the night after they"d buried Bill that Maggie wept, m.u.f.fling her tears in her pillow. She wished so desperately they hadn"t quarrelled the last time they"d been together. She remembered their wedding day, how handsome he"d looked, how much hope they"d both had for the future.
It was impossible to sleep with the worry about what she would do now. Her neighbours were right. She couldn"t run a farm on her own; wasn"t stupid enough to try.
But she couldn"t bear the thought of living in a town again, either, and the kids would hate it after the freedom of life here. Nor did she want to go back to England. She loved the warmer climate in Australia. And she"d made so many friends now that she felt she"d put down roots in Northcliffe, just like those big trees.
When Elsie came across to see her the next day, Maggie poured all her worries out to her friend.
*No one will mind if you take a week or two to work out what you want to do." Elsie hesitated. *But if you"re giving up the farm, could you let us know first, please? I don"t want to sound heartless, but my Mick would like to take it over, if that"s allowed. The older boys are big enough to do a man"s work and we have to think of their future."
Maggie nodded. She felt numb, as if her head was full of cotton wool and her thoughts couldn"t get through it.
Ten days later she realized it was Sunday. She"d done nothing but work since Bill"s death, the children too. *Let"s go for a walk."
*I want to finish mending that hay trough." Peter stubbornly refused to contemplate leaving the farm, even though she"d tried to prepare him for it.
She and Jenny followed their usual path, though Maggie couldn"t help looking ahead to check that no large branches were hanging over the track.
Daniel was out walking at the same time. They stood together while the three children wandered off, chatting.
*I"m sorry about your husband," he said gently. *I didn"t have time to come and see you before. Been a bit busy. You must be missing him."
She stared down at the ground, tried to say something suitable and couldn"t. The words were out before she could prevent them. *I"m not."
There was silence next to her.
She looked up. *I expect you"re disgusted with me, but I can"t lie to you, Daniel. I"m not missing Bill at all. He was drinking heavily, wasting my hard-earned money on booze, not being a good father. And the last time I saw him, we quarrelled." Her voice broke on the words. Would Daniel think her heartless?
*I was sad when Alice died, but relieved as well. She never forgave me for bringing her to Australia, you see, never stopped complaining, on and on."
Maggie let out her breath in a great whoosh of relief. *Bill made me come to Australia. I didn"t want to. And now, well, I"ve grown to love it here and he hated it. Strange that, isn"t it? But I can"t manage the farm on my own."
*I expect it"ll all work out in the end. Give it time."
They stood in silence, but it was a companionable silence. It had felt good to admit to her true feelings. Strange how easy it was to talk to Daniel.
Then she sighed. *I"d better get back. There"s always something needs doing. I promised myself just half an hour in the forest."
He nodded. *I"m glad we met today."
*Me too."
A week later Elsie came across, looking full of herself. She sat down, refusing a cup of tea. *You don"t want to go back to England, do you, love?"
*No."
*And Daniel Marr is struggling to manage without a wife."
Maggie froze, guessing where this was leading.
*He asked me to sound you out, see what you thought about marrying him."
*He a did?"
When she didn"t say anything else, Elsie c.o.c.ked her head on one side and prompted, *Well?"
*I don"t know what to say. Marriage isn"t something you"d rush into lightly."
*He"s a good man. My Mick thinks well of him. And those two lads of his are nice kids. You"d have no trouble with them."
*We might have trouble with Peter, though. He"s trying to be the man of the house, won"t give that up lightly."
*Then you"re thinking about saying "yes"? You are, aren"t you?"
Maggie frowned. *Not exactly. Not yet. I"d need to speak to Daniel first. Could you ask him to come to tea here tomorrow, do you think?"
*I"ll send one of my boys with a message. And Maggie love .a.a. I"d marry him if I was you. He"s a fine-looking man, hard-working and kind with it."
*You would?"
*Yes."
*But it"s so soon. What would people say?"
*They"d say it makes sense and be pleased that you"re staying. And so would I. I don"t want to lose my best friend."
After Elsie had gone, Maggie sat lost in thought. Was it too soon? It"d give her and the kids another chance here, the only chance they had. And she liked Daniel. She blushed at the thought of him as a husband. But smiled as well.
After the evening milking and tea were over, Maggie said to the children, *Don"t get your books out yet. I need to talk to you."
They sat back in their chairs, looking at her anxiously.
*Do you want to go back to England?"
Jenny shook her head. *I"ve got lots of friends here."
Peter spoke without a second"s hesitation. *No. And I won"t do it. I"ll run away if you try to make me. I like it in Australia and I like being a farmer."
*I know. But we can"t manage the farm on our own."
*No one would worry if I stayed off school. They"d understand."
*You"ve not got a man"s strength yet, love." She hated to see the light die in his eyes. *And anyway, the bank wouldn"t let me take on any more debt. They don"t trust women." The bank had already written to say Mr Spencer"s debt to them must be settled when she sold up.
Peter scowled at the floor. *Well, I"m not going back to England."
*There is one way for us to stay; the only way, I think."
He looked up eagerly.
She explained what Daniel had offered and they both stared at her open-mouthed.
*But Dad"s only just died!" Peter exclaimed.
*I know. It"s too soon, really. Only I don"t have time to wait. So," she paused, took a deep breath then said, *Daniel"s coming to tea tomorrow, with his sons. Give them a chance, Peter, meet them, talk to them."
*I like John and Henry," Jenny volunteered.
Peter stared at her in surprise. *How do you know them?"
*Mum and I meet them sometimes when we go for walks."
Peter began tracing patterns on the wooden floor with the toe of his shoe.
Maggie waited and when he didn"t speak, she said, *If you think you won"t get on with Daniel, I"ll not marry him."
*I don"t know what to think," he said.
Nor did she really. She"d liked Daniel Marr instinctively, right from their first meeting. But would she rue a hasty decision for the rest of her life?
I can always say no, she decided. We"ll just a see how we go.
When they were finishing the following morning"s milking, Peter said suddenly, *Did you love Dad?"
She hesitated, then decided he was old enough for the truth. *I did when we got married, but the war changed him. It wasn"t his fault."
*Did he hit you?"
*Once."
*He hit me sometimes."
She stared at him in dismay. *You never said anything."