Alf lay awake arf that night thinking things over and "ow to get Mrs.
Pearce out of the house, and he woke up next morning with it still on "is mind. Every time he got "is uncle alone he spoke to "im about it, and told "im to pack Mrs. Pearce off with a month"s wages, but George Hatchard wouldn"t listen to "im.
"She"d "ave me up for breach of promise and ruin me," he ses. "She reads the paper to me every Sunday arternoon, mostly breach of promise cases, and she"d "ave me up for it as soon as look at me. She"s got "eaps and "eaps of love-letters o" mine."
"Love-letters!" ses Alf, staring. "Love-letters when you live in the same house!"
"She started it," ses his uncle; "she pushed one under my door one morning, and I "ad to answer it. She wouldn"t come down and get my breakfast till I did. I have to send her one every morning."
"Do you sign "em with your own name?" ses Alf, arter thinking a bit.
"No," ses "is uncle, turning red.
"Wot do you sign "em, then?" ses Alf.
"Never you mind," ses his uncle, turning redder. "It"s my handwriting, and that"s good enough for her. I did try writing backwards, but I only did it once. I wouldn"t do it agin for fifty pounds. You ought to ha"
heard "er."
"If "er fust husband was alive she couldn"t marry you," ses Alf, very slow and thoughtful.
"No," ses his uncle, nasty-like; "and if I was an old woman she couldn"t marry me. You know as well as I do that he went down with the Evening Star fifteen years ago."
"So far as she knows," ses Alf; "but there was four of them saved, so why not five? Mightn"t "e have floated away on a spar or something and been picked up? Can"t you dream it three nights running, and tell "er that you feel certain sure he"s alive?"
"If I dreamt it fifty times it wouldn"t make any difference," ses George Hatchard. "Here! wot are you up to? "Ave you gone mad, or wot? You poke me in the ribs like that agin if you dare."
"Her fust "usband"s alive," ses Alf, smiling at un.
"Wot?" ses his uncle.
"He floated away on a bit o" wreckage," ses Alf, nodding at "im, "just like they do in books, and was picked up more dead than alive and took to Melbourne. He"s now living up-country working on a sheep station."
"Who"s dreaming now?" ses his uncle.
"It"s a fact," ses Alf. "I know a chap wot"s met "im and talked to "im.
She can"t marry you while he"s alive, can she?"
"Certainly not," ses George Hatchard, trembling all over; "but are you sure you "aven"t made a mistake?"
"Certain sure," ses Alf.
"It"s too good to be true," ses George Hatchard.
"O" course it is," ses Alf, "but she won"t know that. Look "ere; you write down all the things that she "as told you about herself and give it to me, and I"ll soon find the chap I spoke of wot"s met "im. He"d meet a dozen men if it was made worth his while."
George Hatchard couldn"t understand "im at fust, and when he did he wouldn"t "ave a hand in it because it wasn"t the right thing to do, and because he felt sure that Mrs. Pearce would find it out. But at last "e wrote out all about her for Alf; her maiden name, and where she was born, and everything; and then he told Alf that, if "e dared to play such a trick on an unsuspecting, loving woman, he"d never forgive "im.
"I shall want a couple o" quid," ses Alf.
"Certainly not," ses his uncle. "I won"t "ave nothing to do with it, I tell you."
"Only to buy chocolates with," ses Alf.
"Oh, all right," ses George Hatchard; and he went upstairs to "is bedroom and came down with three pounds and gave "im. "If that ain"t enough," he ses, "let me know, and you can "ave more."
Alf winked at "im, but the old man drew hisself up and stared at "im, and then "e turned and walked away with his "ead in the air.
He "ardly got a chance of speaking to Alf next day, Mrs. Pearce being "ere, there, and everywhere, as the saying is, and finding so many little odd jobs for Alf to do that there was no time for talking. But the day arter he sidled up to "im when the "ouse-keeper was out of the room and asked "im whether he "ad bought the chocolates.
"Yes," ses Alfred, taking one out of "is pocket and eating it, "some of "em."
George Hatchard coughed and fidgeted about. "When are you going to buy the others?" he ses.
"As I want "em," ses Alf. "They"d spoil if I got "em all at once."
George Hatchard coughed agin. "I "ope you haven"t been going on with that wicked plan you spoke to me about the other night," he ses.
"Certainly not," ses Alf, winking to "imself; "not arter wot you said.
How could I?"
"That"s right," ses the old man. "I"m sorry for this marriage for your sake, Alf. O" course, I was going to leave you my little bit of "ouse property, but I suppose now it"ll "ave to be left to her. Well, well, I s"pose it"s best for a young man to make his own way in the world."
"I s"pose so," ses Alf.
"Mrs. Pearce was asking only yesterday when you was going back to sea agin," ses his uncle, looking at "im.
"Oh!" ses Alf.
"She"s took a dislike to you, I think," ses the old man. "It"s very "ard, my fav"rite nephew, and the only one I"ve got. I forgot to tell you the other day that her fust "usband, Charlie Pearce, "ad a kind of a wart on "is left ear. She"s often spoke to me about it."
"In-deed!" ses Alf.
"Yes," ses his uncle, "left ear, and a scar on his forehead where a friend of his kicked "im one day."
Alf nodded, and then he winked at "im agin. George Hatchard didn"t wink back, but he patted "im on the shoulder and said "ow well he was filling out, and "ow he got more like "is pore mother every day he lived.
"I "ad a dream last night," ses Alf. "I dreamt that a man I know named Bill Flurry, but wot called "imself another name in my dream, and didn"t know me then, came "ere one evening when we was all sitting down at supper, Joe Morgan and "is missis being here, and said as "ow Mrs.
Pearce"s fust husband was alive and well."
"That"s a very odd dream," ses his uncle; "but wot was Joe Morgan and his missis in it for?"
"Witnesses," ses Alf.
George Hatchard fell over a footstool with surprise. "Go on," he ses, rubbing his leg. "It"s a queer thing, but I was going to ask the Morgans "ere to spend the evening next Wednesday."
"Or was it Tuesday?" ses Alf, considering.
"I said Tuesday," ses his uncle, looking over Alf"s head so that he needn"t see "im wink agin. "Wot was the end of your dream, Alf?"