I turned my head slowly.
She hasn"t changed much at all. She might be a few feet taller but that was all.
She wore a lovely long maxi dress that lit my eyes up.
I remember her exclaiming many years back that she might never wear a dress again.
She"s probably changed, I thought.
Before I could speak, she sat down next to me.
Just like when we first met.
Twenty years ago.
Jingdezhen Park, Summer.
There was an abandoned region of the park due to a fire that broke out and killed over a hundred children.
Because of that, the region became a place for kids to train their guts.
It was the place that became a part of my young and inexperienced childhood.
I was six.
I went over to explore that abandoned part because I heard about it from the kids at school.
I caught sight of a girl that was sitting on a long bench.
I walked over to the bench.
After pacing back and forth for a long time, she spoke up, "What are you doing waddling in front of me?"
I remembered that she was carrying her own backpack as she stood there berating me, her hands on her hips.
"I just came to have a look, "I answered nervously.
I sat down beside her.
Displeased, she pushed me away. "I found this spot so go find somewhere else to sit."
"Why? I found it, too! It"s my secret ground," I retorted, albeit meekly. I would never forget the conversation we shared.
"I came here first," she said with a smile.
I stood up and looked straight into her eyes, not daring to utter a word.
She was just like my mother. I remembered her smiling in triumph. "I found it so it"s no longer a secret."
I pointed at her and said, "Since you"ve found my spot, you have two choices."
Looking back, I wondered where I got that courage from?
She sat back down on the bench and asked curiously, "What are they?"
I gestured with my fingers. "One, leave and forget about this place. Second, join my secret ground and be my…"
She laughed bitterly. "What? Security guard?"
"Wife. My wife," I blurted out.
The fury that came to her was instant. I saw her whole expression changed.
I was absolutely frightened.
I jumped off the bench as if it was on fire and I ran. Every few seconds, I would turn to look back at her.
She never stopped glaring at me.
Despite her scaring the absolute c.r.a.p out of me, I did not run far. Instead, I made a big detour and hid behind the bench.
I sneaked glances at her and saw that she was just staring blankly into s.p.a.ce.
Her face was beet red.
It made me feel something strange.
I shifted closer to her.
She started dully, "You actually look like a human now with that suit."
"It"s just clothes," I replied, looking down and adjusting my collar.
"How? Are you a pilot now? Are you really successful now?" she bombarded me with one question after another, just like in the past.
"No, not a pilot. I gave up upon realizing that I had a fear of heights. What about you, my air stewardess?" I smiled bitterly.
"You"re allowed to fear heights but I can"t be airsick?" she mumbled, wrinkling her brows.
"What about you? What are you doing now?" I asked, not really understanding her words.
"You go first," she said.
"I"m a tailor in Beijing. I sell a suit for seventy thousand yuan and I get to keep a third of it," I smiled, smoothing my hands down my suit.
"Right, who"s going to wear a seventy thousand suit? Business must be bad. Look at you, so skinny." She pinched my arm.
"It"s different in Beijing. It"s a fast-paced city with a strong economy. Demand for my suits is still high. I won"t go hungry, don"t worry."
I looked up into the star-filled sky. There weren"t many neon city lights, only scarce street lights and a few yellowing billboards.
The stars were shining brightly alongside a half moon that was hung high up in the sky.
"Oh, so you just look skinny? You"re telling me you really have some meat there?" She smiled, grabbing onto my arm.
I asked, "Your turn. What are you doing nowadays?"
"I"m a florist."
I ma.s.saged my arms, thinking back to twenty years ago.
The second day of our acquaintance played out at the same bench in the corner of the park.
I arrived at my "secret ground" earlier than usual.
I was in elementary school. My mother was no longer around and my father was a professor at a nearby university.
He returned home late every night and had little time with me even on the weekends.
As such, before five in the evening, he wouldn"t care much about where I went to have fun.
Nothing would go wrong anyway.
I sat on the same long bench but my mind wasn"t occupied by her.
I was thinking about the mother I"d never seen. The mother whom I only kept a photograph of.
"What is she like exactly?" I wondered dreamily before falling into a deep sleep.
"Hey, why are you here again?"
I jolted awake.
"Did I fall asleep?" I asked, muddle-headed.
I saw her smile.
"I"m here first today," I exclaimed proudly.
She placed her backpack on the bench before sitting down next to me.
With much strength, she pushed me down to the ground. "Does it really work that way?"
She was nine and I was five. I was half a head shorter than her and I did not possess as much strength.
I wailed. What else could I have done?
I would cry whenever I wanted a particular toy. Tried and tested.
I bawled my eyes out with no intention of getting up.
She wavered, anxiousness evident in her eyes.
I shot her a glance amidst all that crying. Half the battle was already won and all I needed was time.
After some time, she finally squeezed out in a tiny hesitant voice, "Are you okay?"
I half sobbed, "What are you saying? I can"t hear anything."
Yes, I was annoyingly shameless.
Cleary feeling bad, she pulled me up from the ground and onto the bench.
I continued sobbing even after I took a seat.
She retrieved a handkerchief from her bag. "This is my favorite. I bring it wherever I go. Use it."
Without any hesitation, I took it and wiped my tears and snot.
I could feel her heart aching as she observed my every action.
"What"s your name?"
"Luqiao, five years old." I returned her handkerchief. "You?"
After some thought, she replied, "Why should I tell you? I"m older so just called me Sister. It"s only polite."
"Sister?" I repeated.
"Yes, little brother, you"re doing well." She raised her brows in delight.
We never exchanged a word after that. I took the handkerchief once more to wipe my tears before returning it to her.
Somehow, the tears kept coming and this went on for over ten times.
Her face became all twisted but I never stopped.
Walls came down after that day.
I got all teary-eyed thinking about it. I pulled out that very handkerchief from my suit pocket.
"You still have it?" she asked in surprise.
"Of course. You gave it to me," I said.
"Do you realize how long you"ve been gone, Luqiao?"
I lowered my head, ashamed. I answered in a small voice, "Eight or nine years…"
She pointed at the tower far away. "Remember that? The clock on that tower stopped moving at 5:20 on the day you left."
I followed her finger and noticed that the clock was still at 5:20.
I nodded. "Yes, I remember. You kept lying to me that you lived there. And I really went there to find you. The owner kept a pit bull. I got chased and bitten so how could I forget?"
"I did lie about some things but you did, too," she shot back, separating my clasped hands.
She examined the calluses on my hands.
"Are you really a tailor?" she asked.
I lifted my right sleeve to reveal the little "L" sewn onto it.
"It"s true. This "L" stands for Luqiao and also the path of my life."
She got up and took a few steps forward. "Remember why we parted?"
"Of course I do."
I was about to continue when she took a few more steps forward. "The sky"s already dark. Are you going home?"
"I have no apartment here. I was planning to find a hotel. Do you have work tomorrow? Let"s meet here at the same time?" I suggested.
She pulled me up. "Let"s go. You"ll pay the room charge."
I was stunned. "You"re coming with me?"
"I have no work tomorrow and I don"t feel like going home. I finally get to see you after a long time, so how am I supposed to let you go?"
"You… don"t come here every day, do you? For me?"
She dragged me toward the nearest hotel without answering.
When we arrived at the counter, she simply extended her hand. "Identification card."
I took it out of my wallet together with three one hundred yuan bills.
She asked for a room with a king-sized bed.
In the room, none of us spoke a word.
She pounced on me and showered me with kisses.
We made love all night.