"No, I wasn"t," insisted Shorty, still watchful. "You"d no right to order me do something that you was afraid to do yourself. That"s no kind o" officering."
{179}
CHAPTER XIII. THE JEW SPY WRITES
SHORTY HAS AN ADVENTURE WITH A LONE, LORN WIDDER LADY."
"I WONDER what has become of our Jew spy, Shorty?" said Si, as he and Shorty sat on the bank of Duck River and watched the rebel pickets lounging under the beeches on the other side. "We hain"t heard nothin"
of him for more"n a month now."
"He"s probably hung," answered Shorty. "He was entirely too smart to live long. A man can"t go on always pokin" his finger into a rattlesnake"s jaw without gittin" it nipped sooner or later."
"I"m looking fur a man called Si Klegg," they heard behind them. Looking around they saw the tall, gaunt woman whom they had turned back from entering the camp a few days before, under the belief that she was trying to smuggle in whisky.
"What in the world can she want o" me?" thought Si; but he answered:
"That"s my name. What"ll you have?"
A flash of recognition filled at once her faded blue eyes. Without taking her pipe from between her yellow, snaggly teeth she delivered a volley of tobacco-juice at an unoffending morning-glory, and snapped out:
"O, y"r him, air ye? Y"r the dratted measly{180} sapsucker that bounced me "bout takin" likker inter camp. What bizniss wuz hit o" your"n whether I tuk likker in or not? Jest wanted t" be smart, didn"t ye? Jest wanted t" interfere with a lone, lorn widder lady makin" a honest livin"
for herself and 10 children. My ole man ketched the black ager layin"
out in the brush to dodge the conscripters. It went plumb to his heart an" killed him. He wa"n"t no great loss, nohow, fur he"d eat more in a week than he"d kill, ketch, or raise in a year. When his light went out I"d only one less mouth to feed, and got rid o" his jawin" an" cussin"
all the time. But that hain"t nothin" t" do with you. You "s jest puttin" on a lettle authority kase ye could. But all men air alike that-a-way. Elect a man Constable, an" he wants t" put on more airs than the Guv-nor; marry him, an" he makes ye his slave."
"I should think it"d be a bold man that"d try to make you his slave.
Madam," Si ventured.
"Y" she"d think," she retorted, with her arms akimbo. "Who axed y" t"
think, young feller? What d" y" do hit with. Why d" y" strain y"rself doin" somethin" y" ain"t used t"?"
It did Shorty so much good to see Si squelched, that he chuckled aloud and called out:
"Give it to him, old Snuff-Dipper. He"s from the Wabash, an" hain"t no friends. He"s bin itchin" a long time for jest such a skinnin" as you"re givin" him."
"Who air y" callin" Snuff-Dipper?" she retorted, turning angrily on Shorty. "What"ve ye got t" say agin snuff-dippin", anyway, y" terbacker-chawin", likker-guzzlin", wall-oyed, splay-footed, knock-kneed{181} oaf? What air y" greasy hirelings a-comin" down heah fo", t" sa.s.s and slander Southern ladies, who air yo" superiors?"
"Give it to him, old Corncob Pipe," yelled Si "He needs lambastin"
worse"n any man in the regiment. But what did you want to see me for?"
"I wanted to see yo" bekase I got a letter to yo" from a friend o" mine, who said yo" wuz gentlemen, an" rayly not Yankees at all. He said that yo" wuz forced into the army agin yo" will."
"Gracious, what a liar that man must be," murmured Shorty to himself.
"An" yo" rayly had no heart to fight for the n.i.g.g.e.r, an" that yo"d treat me like a sister."
"A sister," Shorty exploded internally. "Think of a feller"s havin" a sister like that. Why, I wouldn"t throw her in a soap-grease barrel."
"Who was this friend. Madam?" said Si, "and where is his letter?"
"I don"t know whether to give it to yo" or not," said she. "Y"re not the men at all that he ascribed to me. He said yo" wuz very good-lookin", perlite gentlemen, who couldn"t do too much for a lady."
"Sorry we"re not as handsome as you expected," said Si; "but mebbe that"s because we"re in fatigue uniforms. You ought to see my partner there when he"s fixed up for parade. He"s purtier"n a red wagon then.
Let me see the letter. I can tell then whether we"re the men or not."
"Kin yo" read?" she asked suspiciously.
"O, yes," answered Si laughingly at the thought almost universal in the South that reading and writing were--like the Gift of Tongues--a special{182} dispensation to a few favored individuals only. "I can read and do lots o" things that common people can"t. I"m seventh son of a seventh son, born with a caul on my head at the time o" the full moon.
Let me see the letter."
She was not more than half convinced, but unhooked her dress and took a note from her bosom, which she stuck out toward Si, holding tightly on to one end in the meanwhile. Si read, in Levi Rosenbaum"s flourishing, ornate handwriting:
"Corporal Josiah Klegg, Co. Q, 200th Indiana Volunteers, in Camp on Duck River."
"That means me," said Si, taking hold of the end of the envelope. "There ain"t but one 200th Injianny Volunteers; there"s no other Co. Q, and I"m the only Josiah Klegg."
The woman still held on to the other end of the letter.
"It comes," continued Si, "from a man a little under medium size, with black hair and eyes, dresses well, talks fast, and speaks a Dutch brogue."
"That"s him," said the woman, relinquishing the letter, and taking a seat under the shade of a young cuc.u.mber tree, where she proceeded to fill her pipe, while awaiting the reading of the missive.
Si stepped off a little ways, and Shorty looked over his shoulder as he opened the letter and read:
"Dear Boys: This will be handed you, if it reaches you at all, by Mrs. Bolster, who has more about her than you think."{183}
"I don"t know about that," muttered Shorty; "the last time I had the pleasure o" meetin" the lady she had "steen dozen bottles o" head-bust about her."
"She"s a Confederate, as far as she goes."
Si continued reading,
"which is not very far. She don"t go but a little ways. A jay-bird that did not have any more brains would not build much of a nest. But she is very useful to me, and I want you to get in with her. As soon as you read this I want Si to give her that pair of horn combs I gave him. Do it at once.
Sincerely your friend,
"Levi Rosenbaum."
Si knit his brows in perplexity and wonderment over this strange message. He looked at Shorty, but Shorty"s face was as blank of explanation as his own. He fumbled around in his blouse pocket, drew forth the combs, and handed them to the woman. Her dull face lighted up visibly. She examined the combs carefully, as if fitting them to a description, and, reaching in her bosom, pulled out another letter and handed it to Si.
When this was opened Si read:
"Dear Boys: Now you will understand the comb business. I wanted to make sure that my letter reached the right men, and the combs were the only things I could think of at the moment. Mrs. B. will prize them, though she will never think of using them, either on herself or one of her shock-headed brats. I want you to play it on her as far as your consciences will allow. Pretend that you are awful sick of this Abolition war, and tired fighting for the n.i.g.g.e.r, and all that stuff. Make her the happiest{184} woman in Tennessee by giving her all the coffee you can spare. That will fetch her quicker and surer than anything else. Like most Southern women, she is a coffee-drinker first and a rebel afterward, and if some preacher would tell her that heaven is a place where she will get all the Yankee coffee she can drink, she would go to church regularly for the rest of her life. Tell her a lot of news--as much of it true as you can and think best; as much of it otherwise as you can invent. Follow her cautiously when she leaves camp. Don"t let her see you do so. You will find that she will lead you to a nest of spies, and the place where all the whisky is furnished to sell in camp. I write you thus freely because I am certain that this will get in your hands. I know that your regiment is out here, because I have been watching it for a week, with reference to its being attacked. It won"t be for at least awhile, for there"s another hen on. But make up to the old lady as much as your consciences and stomachs will allow you. It will be for the best interests of the service.
"Sincerely your friend, Levi Rosenbaum."
"I wonder what game Levi is up to?" Si said, as he stood with the letter in his hand and looked at the woman. "I"ll give her all the coffee I can and be very civil to her, but that"s as far as I"ll go. The old rebel cat. I"ll not lie to her for 40 Levi Rosenbaums."