The Lieutenant had to comply. They all got safely on, and Shorty pushed off, saying:
"Here, sit straight, both of you. Here goes mebbe for New Orleans, mebbe for Libby Prison, mebbe for the camp of the 200th Ind.
"We"re out on the ocean sailin"."
[Ill.u.s.tration: HERE GOES, MEBBE TO LIBBEY PRISON. 55]
CHAPTER V. AFLOAT ON A LOG
SI, SHORTY AND THE WEST-POINTER HAVE AN EVENTFUL JOURNEY.
THE log swept out into the yellow swirl, bobbing up and down in the turbulent current.
"Bobs like a buckin" broncho," said Shorty. "Make you seasick, Si?"
"Not yet," answered his partner. "I ain"t so much afraid o" that as I am that some big alligator-gar "ll come along and take his dinner off my leg."
"Bah," said Shorty, contemptuously; "no alligator-gar is goin" to come up into this mud-freshet. He"d ruther hunt dogs and n.i.g.g.e.r-babies further down the river. Likes "em better. He ain"t goin" to gnaw at them old Wabash sycamore legs o" yourn when he kin git a bite at them fat shoats we saw sailin" down stream awhile ago."
"The belief in alligator-gar is a vulgar and absurd superst.i.tion,"
said the Lieutenant, breaking silence for the first time. "There, isn"t anywhere in fresh water a fish capable of eating anything bigger than a bull-frog."
"Hullo; did West Point learn you that?" said Shorty. "You know just about as much about it as you do about gittin" over cricks an" paddlin"
a canoe. Have you ever bin interduced to a Mississippi catfish? Have you ever seen an alligator-gar at home in the Lower Mississippi? Naw! You don"t know no more about them than a baby does about a catamount. I have heard tell of an alligator-gar that was longer"n a fence-rail, and sort of king of a little bayou down in the Teche country. He got mad because they run a little stern-wheel steamboat up into his alley to git their cotton off, an" he made up his mind to stop it. He"d circle "round the boat to git a good headway and pick out his man. Then he"d take a run-and-jump, leap clean across the boat, knock off the man he"d picked out, an" tow him off under a log an" eat him. He intended to take the Captain fust, but his appet.i.te got the better of him. He saw a big, fat, juicy buck n.i.g.g.e.r of a deck-hand, an" couldn"t stand the temptation. He fetched him easy. Next he took a nice, tender little cabin-boy. Then he fetched the big old Mate, but found him so full o" terbacker, whisky and bad language that he couldn"t eat him nohow, an" turned him over to the mudturtles, what"ll eat anything. The Captain then got scared an" quit.
He didn"t care a hat for the Mate, for he was glad to git rid of him; but he liked the cabin-boy an" he had to pay the owner o" the n.i.g.g.e.r $1,200 for him, an" that made runnin" up the Teche onprofitable."
"Oh, Shorty," Si gasped. He thought he was acquainted with his partner"s brilliant talents for romance, but this was a meteoric flight that he had not expected.
"But that wasn"t nothin"," Shorty continued, "to a he catfish that a man told me about down near Helena, Ark. He used to swim around in a little chute near a house-cabin in which lived a man with a mighty good-lookin"
young wife. The man was awful jealous of his woman, an" used to beat her. The ole he catfish had a fine eye for purty women, and used to cavort around near the cabin whenever his business would permit. The woman noticed him, and it tickled him greatly. She"d throw him hunks o"
bread, chunks o" cold meat, and so on. The man"d come out and slap her, and fling clubs and knots at him. One day the man put his wife in a ba.s.swood canoe, and started to take her across the river. He hadn"t got a rod from the sh.o.r.e when the old he catfish ups and bites the canoe in two, then nips the man"s hand so"s he didn"t git over it for months, and then puts his nose under the woman"s arm, and helps her ash.o.r.e as polite as you please."
"Shorty," gasped Si, "if you tell any more such stories as that this log"ll certainly sink. See it how it wobbles now."
"I consider such stuff very discourteous to your officer," said the Lieutenant stiffly. "I shall make a note of it for consideration at some future time."
"Halt! Who goes thar?" rang out sharply from the bank.
"Hush; don"t breathe," said Shorty. They were in an eddy, which was sweeping them close to the rebel bank.
"Who air yo" haltin"?" said a second voice.
"I see some men in a canoe out thar. I heared their voices fust," said the first voice.
"Whar" yo see any men in a canoe?" asked the second incredulously.
"Right over thar. You kin see "em. They"re comin" right this-a-way. I"m a gwine t" halt "em agin an" then shoot."
"Stuff," said the other. "You"re allers seein" shadders an" ghostses.
That "er"s only an ole tree with three limbs stickin" up. Don"t yo"
shoot an" skeer the whole camp. They"ll have the grand laugh on yo", an"
mebbe buck-an"-gag yo"."
""Tain"t stuff," persisted the other. "Thar never wuz a tree that ever growed that had three as big limbs as that all on one side. You"re moon blind."
"A man mout well be rain blind in sich a storm as this, but I tell yo"
that"s nothin" but an ole sycamore drift log. If yo" shoot the boys"ll never git tired o" d.a.m.nin" yo", an" jest as likely as not the ossifers"ll make yo" tote a rail through the mud termorrer."
The boys were so near that every word could be distinctly heard, and they were floating nearer every moment.
The suspense was thrilling. If the man fired at that distance he could not help hitting one of them and discovering the others. They scarcely breathed, and certainly did not move a muscle, as the log floated steadily in-sh.o.r.e in the comparatively stiller waters of the eddy. The rain was coming down persistently yet, but with a sullen quietness, so that the silence was not broken by the splashing of the drops.
A water-moccasin deadliest of snakes crawled up onto the log and coiled himself in front of Si, with that indifference to companionship which seems to possess all animals in flood-times. Si shuddered as he saw it, but did not dare make a motion against it.
The dialog on the bank continued.
"Thar, you kin see thar air men in a canoe," said the first voice.
"I can"t see nothin" o" the kind," replied the other.
"If hit ain"t a log with three dead limbs, hit"s a piece o" barn-timber with the j"ists a-stickin" up."
"I don"t believe hit nary mite. Hit"s men, an" I"m a-gwine t" shoot."
"No, yo" hain"t gwine t" make a durned fool o" yourself. Wait a minute.
Hit"s a-comin" nigher, an" soon you kin hit it with a rock. I"ll jest do hit t" show yo how skeery yo" air. Le"me look around an" find a good rock t" throw. If I kin find jest the right kind I kin hit a yallerhammer at that distance."
This prospect was hardly more rea.s.suring than that of being fired at, but there was nothing to do but to take whatever might come. To make it more aggravating, the current had slowed down, until the motion of their log was very languid. They were about 100 feet from the sh.o.r.e when they heard the second voice say:
"Heah, I"ve got jest the right kind o" a dornick. Now jest keep yer eye peeled an" fixed on that center limb, an" yo"ll hear it chunk when I plunk hit an" show hit"s nothin" but a stick o" wood."
Si thought he saw the Lieutenant crouch a little, but was not sure.
The stone came whistling through the air, struck the top of the Lieutenant"s cap and knocked it off into the water.
"Thar," said the second voice triumphantly; "yo" see hit ain"t no men.
Jest as I done tole yo". I knocked the bark offen the end o" one o" the sticks."
The log moved slowly on, and presently catching in a stronger current, swept out into the stream again. It seemed so like deliverance, that Si made a quick blow and knocked the snake off into the water, and Shorty could not help shouting triumphantly:
"Good-by, Johnnies! Sorry we can"t stay with you longer. Got other engagements down the crick. Ta-ta! See you later."
The chagrined sentry fired an angry shot, but they were already behind a clump of willows.
"Lootenant," said Shorty, "you put on a whole lot of unnecessary frills, but you"ve got good stuff in you after all. You went through that little affair like a man. I"ll back you after this."
"When I desire your opinion, sir, as to my conduct," replied the Lieutenant, "I shall ask you for it. Until then keep it to yourself. It is for me to speak of your conduct, not you of mine."