A Tiffany-type floor lamp threw a cone of light on the room"s single piece of furniture. A crib. In the crib was the source of the odor.
"Let me introduce myself properly. My name is Gabor. This is my body."
Had she a voice, Kara would have screamed. In the crib was a wrinkled, shrunken thing with thick, mottled skin and whispy white hair trailing off its scalp. The head was too big for its body-adult-sized on a body no bigger than the average five-year old"s. It"s face was a caricature of humanity with its flattened nose, its drooling, toothless mouth, its white-coated eyes stared blindly upward. In contrast to its short, warped, wizened limbs, its body was a bloated, corpulent, barrel-chested ma.s.s, the pelvis sheathed in a stained, fouled diaper.
"Loathsome, aren"t I?"
Kara was numb. Had she been able, she wasn"t sure she would have dared to frame a reply.
"You needn"t worry about injuring my feelings. Even I find myself repulsive."
She detected something behind the words, a cosmic rage, a tragic self-loathing.
But this is Doctor Gates" house!
"The man you know as Doctor Gates was my brother, Lazlo. The body, at least, was Lazlo"s. The intellect you dealt with, pouring your heart out to in your therapy sessions, was I. Gabor. So, in a real sense, Doctor Gates isn"t dead. I I am Doctor Gates. am Doctor Gates. I I went through pre-med and medical school, went through pre-med and medical school, I I sat through those tedious lectures, sat through those tedious lectures, I I studied those dry texts till my eyes burned like heated coals in my head, studied those dry texts till my eyes burned like heated coals in my head, I I pa.s.sed those tests and board exams, spent those years in residency. The medical degree and license may have Lazlo"s name on them, but they are the result of pa.s.sed those tests and board exams, spent those years in residency. The medical degree and license may have Lazlo"s name on them, but they are the result of my my work. They are work. They are mine mine."
Where... where was Lazlo all this time?
"With me. A pa.s.senger in his own body. Like you."
Oh, G.o.d!
"It wasn"t so bad for him. I left him alone at times. And after all, we were brothers. Twins, would you believe? Twins Twins! Like you and Kelly. Yet something went wrong with me in utero, early on, when we were both little more than collections of cells. My body became distorted while his grew perfectly. Twins should share, don"t you think?"
Poor Lazlo!
"Never mind him. He"s gone. And my body needs tending. First a quick change of diaper-I prefer the Huggies to Pampers-and then we"ll feed me. It"s been two days since I"ve eaten and I"m starving. That"s what the junior foods are for. I use them when I haven"t got time to puree something more appetizing. After dinner, a sponge bath. As you"ll soon learn, I take good care of my body. I bathe it every day."
Kara wanted to cry at her helplessness, but she had no tears.
Let me go! Please let me go!
"Lazlo used to plead for release in the early days, but he stopped after a while when he came to realize that it would do him no good. You might as well do the same. We"re going to be together for a long, long time, Kara."
With Kara"s hand you spoon the food into your mouth-your other mouth, the mouth you were born with. You"re glad you were finally able to escape from that body this afternoon. The hunger was becoming unbearable.
But that"s over now. You"re in control again, just as you planned. Everything has gone according to your contingency plans. You"ve foreseen everything. You always knew there was a possibility that Lazlo would meet with an untimely end, so you prepared for that. You knew that, by law, his immediate heir would be his brother, yourself, Gabor. But since your body is itself incapable of meaningful communication, you knew Gabor would be declared incompetent and all your inherited a.s.sets placed in trust under some sort of guardianship-out of your control.
That would never do. So you arranged for Gabor to "die." Then, as Lazlo, you made a will and left all of your a.s.sets to the woman in whose body you were most comfortable at the time. There has been a string of heirs. For the past year it was Kelly Wade. Just a week ago you changed the chief beneficiary to Kara. Fortuitous timing. And brilliant antic.i.p.ation. You should be proud.
Why then do you feel so empty?
It"s not the hunger. It"s not the trauma of two nights ago. It"s Lazlo. He"s gone. He"s dead. He gladly killed himself to escape you. That has hurt you deeper than you ever thought possible.
You miss Lazlo. Miss the familiar workings of his body, miss his companionship. And after all, he was your twin brother.
Now he"s dead. You can trace his death back to Kelly Wade. It began with her. If she hadn"t managed to jump out that window at the Plaza, you would still be occupying Lazlo"s body and going about your usual business. But Kelly"s death brought Kara to town, and Kara was a temptation you couldn"t resist. But Kara"s boyfriend is a cop, a tenacious one. And if he hadn"t hara.s.sed you so, you would not be in your present position-the sole surviving member of the Gati family.
It"s Harris" fault. If he hadn"t hounded you, you would not have fled onto 42nd Street and been hit by the car. The impact temporarily severed your contact with Lazlo, giving him a chance to try to steal Harris" pistol. When you returned to Lazlo, you discovered yourself in mid-grapple with Harris. You tried to let go of the pistol but your finger was stuck. When you tried to yank it free, the gun went off.
And that is all you remember. The impact of a bullet tearing through the brain you were occupying traumatized your consciousness. You lay in a coma for almost a full day. You"re still weak. You could barely occupy Kara when she arrived here.
But you"re getting stronger. And when you are this close to your real body, it is easy to stimulate and control the almost reflexive actions of chewing and swallowing while maintaining control over Kara. You spoon the junior meal into your toothless mouth. Although you can"t taste it (thank goodness) you know the nutrients, flowing into your body from this lumpy gruel will make you stronger.
But although everything has gone according to plan, all is far from perfect. Difficult days lie ahead. Kara has a daughter, plus she"s been having an affair with Detective Harris. The detective will be easy to be rid of. All you need do is find another lover and let Harris know that he has been replaced in your heart. It may prove messy for a while, but eventually that should serve to sever all ties with him. Although you would love to see him as dead as Lazlo, you will have to be satisfied with merely breaking his heart instead of shoving a knife blade through it.
The child, though, presents a major problem. You will not be able to fool her for long. She will never guess exactly what is wrong with her mother, but she will know she is not the same. She will sniff you out and raise a cry.
Something must be done about the child.
An accident. That is the best way. A terrible accident. A fall, perhaps. Like her Aunt Kelly. These Wades- such an accident-p.r.o.ne family.
Suddenly Kara"s mind is shouting, startling you.
You can"t do this! It"s unconscionable! Your own brother, and now me! How can you live with yourself?
You"ve wondered that yourself at times. And whenever you do, you look down at your misshapen body and consider the alternative. And you know you do not want to live there.
You do not answer her. You are concerned with the strength she is showing. You could feel her fighting for control of her hands as they changed your diaper. One or two times she almost drew them away. This concerns you. Not that she"d ever be able to wrest control back from you, but it takes more effort to control her than it did Lazlo. She"s much stronger willed than he ever was. Luckily, she doesn"t know her own strength. And to a.s.sure that she doesn"t get an opportunity to find out, she will have to be housebroken quickly.
You have an idea. When the feeding is finished and your bath is done, you"ll start her first lesson.
Rob sat on the floor of the padded cell, numb and drained by what he had read in the sc.r.a.ps of paper scattered across his legs.
Madness. Pure madness.
But strangely coherent madness.
Maybe that was because the author was so convinced that he was Lazlo Gati, whose body had been usurped by his twin brother Gabor during their teenage years and never returned to him except, for brief periods during which he managed to write this diary of sorts. According to this diary, Lazlo was locked in this padded cell during those periods of freedom while Gabor frolicked in other bodies, mostly female.
Utterly crazy. But who was was this crazy man? Where was he now? That was the scary part. His last entry was three nights ago... when Lazlo was still alive. That was the disturbing part: there had been no entries since Lazlo"s death. this crazy man? Where was he now? That was the scary part. His last entry was three nights ago... when Lazlo was still alive. That was the disturbing part: there had been no entries since Lazlo"s death.
Rob stood and tried to shake off the crazy story. He smiled. Here he was, sitting in a padded cell, trying to make sense of the ravings of a certifiable nut case. There was a major flaw in the story: Gabor Gati had been dead for years. His death certificate was on file downtown...
... signed by Lazlo.
He shook himself. It all seemed weirdly logical-if you could accept the premise that Gabor was still alive and.could actually control another person"s body. you could accept the premise that Gabor was still alive and.could actually control another person"s body.
But if he was alive, where would he be?
In the Chelsea house, of course.
Rob felt spicules of ice forming in his blood.
Lazlo Gati-or Dr. Gates, or whoever the h.e.l.l he was-had left everything to Kara. And one of the terms of the will had been that she be given the keys to the Chelsea house immediately.
Christ!
And Rob had left her there alone. He wondered if her sudden illness had anything to do with Gabor? Or if-?
What am I saying? Get a grip, Harris!
He stood in the center of the padded cell and took a few deep breaths. It was late, he was tired, and his imagination was having a field day. Kara was at Ellen"s. He"d go home himself, get some sleep, and see Kara first thing in the morning to make sure she was all right.
To make sure she was still Kara.
1:35 A.M.
She was in a cab going east on 42nd Street. Kara huddled sick and miserable, limbless and voiceless within her own body, searching for a way out.
"Lazlo died right over there," Gabor told her, pointing out the window with her finger.
Is that why you brought me here?
"Of course not."
Then why am I naked under this coat? It"s too cold for this sort of thing.
"I"ve already told you twice: Your taste in clothes is terrible. I"m going to have to buy us a whole new wardrobe. Something with style."
Kara prayed that was the truth, but she feared he had something else in mind. Something awful.
You won"t find anything open at this hour.
"We"re not looking for clothes now."
Then what-?
"Patience, my dear."
He told the cabbie to pull to the curb and wait, then stepped out onto the sidewalk. She felt the wind run icy fingers up the insides of her thighs... Where are we going Where are we going?
"Straight ahead."
They were walking toward a brightly lit store. Yellow and white incandescent bulbs strobed deliriously in its smudged and smeared show window, their light racing madly around its border. A neon sign blinked "ADULT BOOKS" in turquoise while another blared "PEEP SHOW" in red.
You"re taking me there? there?
"Yes. Have you ever been in one?"
Never!
"Then this will be a new experience for you."
Inside the door was a square room, its walls lined floor to ceiling with p.o.r.no magazines-men with women, women with women, men with men. To the rear was a curtained arch, keystoned with a sign that said, "PEEPS." A narrow platform ran across the front of the store, supporting a gla.s.s display case and a cash register. Behind the case stood a portly, short, balding, middle-aged man wearing a greasy Guns n"Roses T-shirt and a two-day stubble. There were two male customers in the store who quickly headed for the back when they saw her.
The man on the platform leaned over the display case and looked down at her.
"Can I help yiz, lady?" he said in a voice like a chain saw.
"I"m looking for a tool," Kara"s voice said as she stared into the dusty display case.
Lined up on the shelves behind the gla.s.s were a good two dozen different models of vibrators and d.i.l.d.os.
You"re not serious!
"Hush. I"m choosing."
"Why fool with a tool when you can have the real thing?" the counterman said, leering through his stubble.
"How about yours? Is your tool available?"
His smile broadened. "Anytime!"
"Interesting. However, I believe I"ll take that one there."
Kara watched in horror as her finger pointed to a twelve inch pink vibrator formed in the shape of an erect p.e.n.i.s. Gabor could only be buying it for one reason. It made her sick to think about it.
No!
The counterman took it out, wrapped it up after it was paid for, and handed her the package with a lascivious smile.
"Batteries not included."
"Quite all right. I have plenty at home."
"Okay. But if dis don"t work, come back an" I"ll show you da real ting."
"I just might take you up on that."
You wouldn"t! Kara said as they exited the store.
"I might. Just to teach you a lesson if you prove bad company for me."
But he"s dirty and ugly and probably crawling with diseases!
"Probably. But I can always replace you should you become debilitated by disease."
The sick helplessness of her position began to weigh more heavily than ever on Kara. But she refused to be cowed.
What kind of monster are you? she said as her body settled again in the back seat of the cab. And what kind of a man wants to be in a woman"s body And what kind of a man wants to be in a woman"s body?