Just as he walked away and headed toward the walk-in closet, she called to him, "Bruce, are the children ready for church? I can"t remember if I packed everything in the diaper bag that little Kevin will need. He was so fretful last night. I"m afraid he"s cutting a new tooth."
Bruce stopped dead still. His heartbeat accelerated. He closed his eyes and prayed for strength and courage. And the ability to see Sandie through to the end, no matter how long and difficult the path might be. She had no idea that her mind had wandered back more than thirty years to when their now-adult son had been an infant. This was not the first time it had happened, and heaven help them both, it would not be the last.
Faye Long stared at her reflection in the cheval mirror. She looked like an old woman, far older than her fifty-eight years. Guilt and regret weighed heavily on her shoulders. And fear.
Thirty-nine years ago, when she had married Charles Long, she had been a beautiful, desirable young woman. She could have had her pick from dozens of men, but she had chosen the man she believed worshipped the ground she walked on, the man who would be a good husband and father to their future children. Charles had been a handsome, dashing, charismatic young minister, and she had fallen under his hypnotic spell, never questioning what lay beneath the alluring facade he presented to the world.
She had made a horrible mistake by marrying him, and she had paid dearly for her stupidity. And she was still paying, as was her daughter and her granddaughters.
If only she could go back and redo her life, go back to the first time she met her future husband. She would run as far and as fast from Charles Long as she possibly could.
When Ruth Ann and John Earl had returned home a little after six o"clock this morning, with both Charity and Felicity in tow, she had known something was wrong. When she had gone to the kitchen earlier this morning at five-thirty, she had found Ruth Ann"s note.
John Earl and I have gone to pick up the girls. There"s been a slight problem. I"ll call you if we aren"t home in a few hours.-Ruthie Ruthie. Her only child.
The sp.a.w.n of the devil.
G.o.d, how she hated to think of her daughter in such a way. Ruth Ann could no more help who her father was than she could help the horrible things he had done to her. The things he had done to both of them.
She often wondered what would have happened to the two of them that night after fire had consumed their home and killed her husband if it had not been for John Earl. At the time, he and Ruth Ann had been dating for nearly a year, and she"d known how much he loved her daughter. He was such a good man, and she thanked the Lord every day that both of her granddaughters were growing up in a home filled with love and goodness.
But a shadow of evil hovered over all of them. Charles Long"s evil. Even now, after all these years, Ruth Ann still had nightmares. And the emotional scars left by her father"s cruelty had created an emptiness inside Ruth Ann that affected her relationship with both of her daughters.
No doubt Felicity and Charity"s unfortunate escapade would be the talk of the town by the time church services began today. Poor John Earl. What an embarra.s.sment for him.
But they would all hold their heads high this morning when they arrived at church. Let the busybodies talk. No one except she, Ruth Ann and John Earl knew that her granddaughters were predisposed to wickedness, that they had inherited a weakness for evil from Charles Long.
As soon as her mother and in-laws took Seth away, Cathy knew what she had to do today. She could waste her time crying and bemoaning the fact that J.B. and Mona had custody of her son. Or she could get ready, go to church and be there for the most humiliating moment of Seth"s young life.
She showered, washed and dried her hair, chose one of two new outfits she had recently purchased on a shopping trip with Lorie and unpacked her makeup case. Only moments after she added the last touches-blush to her cheeks and a peach gloss to her lips-the doorbell rang.
Maybe it was Lorie, but she doubted it. She had phoned her best friend and filled her in on what had happened, everything she knew about Seth"s misadventures and her confrontation with J.B. Lorie had offered to go to church with her this morning, but she"d a.s.sured her that it wasn"t necessary.
"I know how much you"d hate it," Cathy had said. "You haven"t been inside a church for worship services since you moved back to Dunmore."
"I"d do it for you."
"I"ll be okay, and so will Seth, so don"t worry too much. I have a feeling that G.o.d"s on my side."
When she reached the front door, Cathy peeked through the viewfinder and gasped when she saw Jackson Perdue standing on her porch.
She opened the door. "Well, h.e.l.lo. What are you doing here?" She surveyed him from his neatly combed hair to his polished dress shoes. He wore khaki slacks, a white shirt without a tie and a blue blazer.
"I thought I"d go to church with you today," he said.
"Lorie called you, didn"t she?"
"Yeah. She...uh...she thought you might need a little backup this morning."
"You don"t have to do this, you know. I mean, it"s not as if you and I...That is, this is my problem. Not yours. You-"
He gently shoved her backward into the house. With the front door still partially open, he cupped her face in his hands. Startled by his actions, she hushed immediately and stared up into his blue, blue eyes.
"Let"s not a.n.a.lyze our relationship," he said. "There"s been a lot of muddy water under the bridge. So, how about this-I"m here as a subst.i.tute for Lorie. She thinks you need a friend at your side this morning, and I agree."
"She thinks I need a keeper, doesn"t she? She"s concerned about what I might say or do without someone there to rein me in."
"Look, I wasn"t around when you unraveled at the seams last year, so I don"t actually know how bad it was for you. But having been there myself, I can imagine. Don"t blame Lorie if she"s worried about you."
"I don"t blame her. I don"t blame anyone for waiting to see if or when the crazy lady will go bonkers again. But that"s not going to happen. I won"t let it."
"Good for you." He looked her over. "Now get your purse and let"s go. I believe Lorie said early morning services begin at nine, right?"
Cathy knew when to give in gracefully. Jack wasn"t going to back down, and in all honesty, she didn"t want him to. For more reasons than she dared admit, she not only wanted Jack at her side this morning, she needed him.
Cathy and Jack walked into the church three minutes before services began. They could have sat at the back, but when she saw Seth sitting in the front row beside J.B., she knew what to do. Jack didn"t hesitate when she marched up the red-carpeted aisle and found a half-empty pew directly behind her son.
She and Jack got a lot of curious stares, which took the people"s minds momentarily off the rumors that were no doubt circulating about Seth, Missy and the other teenagers who had been hauled into the sheriff"s office before daylight this morning. Let them talk about her. She"d been fodder for the Dunmore gossip mill since the day Mark was murdered.
Poor Cathy, losing her husband so tragically.
Poor Cathy, having to raise her teenage son all alone.
Poor Cathy. You heard about her nervous breakdown, didn"t you? She went completely off her rocker and wound up spending a year at Haven Home.
As soon as she sat, she leaned forward and placed her hand on Seth"s shoulder. Startled by her touch, he jerked around and looked at her. His mouth formed the word Thanks. Thanks. She smiled and patted his shoulder. Just as Seth glanced at Jack, J.B. turned around and glowered at Cathy. Seth looked back and forth from her to Jack and then turned around just as the song leader called out the number for the first hymn. She smiled and patted his shoulder. Just as Seth glanced at Jack, J.B. turned around and glowered at Cathy. Seth looked back and forth from her to Jack and then turned around just as the song leader called out the number for the first hymn.
This church service was not going to be easy for any of them, but it would be pure torture for Seth. If only she could spare him from being on public display. If Mark were here...But he wasn"t. Mark was dead. Seth had no one but her to protect him.
Jack reached between them and took Cathy"s hand in his.
Was this a sign from G.o.d? Was the Almighty trying to tell her that she wasn"t all alone?
Chapter Sixteen
Cathy had grown up attending church services every time the doors opened. Sunday school, Sunday morning services, Sunday night services, Wednesday night services, vacation Bible school and week-long gospel meetings. No one who knew Cathy"s mother could say Elaine wasn"t a devout Christian, but her single-minded obsession with religion bordered on fanaticism. To Elaine Nelson, anything that was too much fun, too enjoyable, had to be a sin. But by the time she was a preteen, Cathy had realized most members of their small Church of Christ in Dunmore were not fanatics but simply good people trying to live the best life they knew how by following the teachings of Jesus. As a teenager, she had become exposed to other Protestant religions through her school friends and learned that there were indeed people like her mother in all the various denominations.
At seventeen, she had begun feeling trapped by her mother"s restrictions, so when home-on-leave Jackson Perdue had noticed her, she had been ripe for the picking. She didn"t blame Jack, at least not now, and hadn"t for a long time. He"d been twenty, almost twenty-one, and more than three years her senior, but a dozen years older in experience. His bad-boy persona had intrigued her. He"d been moody and intense and drop-dead gorgeous. What teenage girl could have resisted him? She had fallen madly in love with him during their two-week whirlwind romance. And with dreams of happily ever after in her head, she hadn"t hesitated to have s.e.x with him.
Suddenly, when everyone in the congregation stood to sing and Jack tugged on her hand, Cathy snapped back from the past to the present, realizing that she hadn"t heard one word of the last few minutes of Brother Hovater"s sermon. The hymn was an invitation to sinners, both members and nonmembers alike. Members could come forward and ask forgiveness for their sins. Those who had not been baptized into the Church of Christ faith could confess their past sins, proclaim their belief in Jesus as the Son of G.o.d and be baptized. This plea to sinners was part of every church service.
Halfway through the chorus, Seth rose to his feet and stepped forward, extending his hand to Donnie Hovater. Missy, who had been sitting several rows behind them, also came forward and placed her hand in her father"s. Both teenagers" movements were stiff, as if they were robots, their actions programmed into them.
"Please be seated." Donnie raised and then lowered his hands, emphasizing his instructions to the congregation.
He then took the two teenagers aside and spoke to each of them quietly, their conversations entirely private. Then he guided Seth and Missy to the front bench, where the song leader scooted down to make room for them. As soon as Seth and Missy were seated, Donnie faced the audience.
"Two of our beloved young people have come forward today asking for the Lord"s forgiveness and mercy," Donnie said, his tone soft and filled with sympathy. "They were led astray by others and found themselves in bad company. They both deeply regret having made an error in judgment that has caused pain and embarra.s.sment to their families." He bowed his head. "Pray with us as we seek G.o.d"s loving goodness and ask Him to forgive Missy Hovater and Seth Cantrell and guide them in the paths of righteousness from this day forward."
The congregation hummed with whispers and a few louder comments ranging from "Bless them" to "Amen."
Tears threatened to choke Cathy. How many times had her heart bled for people who came forward during this phase of a church service to confess to some minor indiscretion that could hardly be called a sin. Not unless you considered everything that wasn"t pure and holy a sin. Apparently, many people did. There had been a time, long ago, when she"d been a child, that she had lived in fear of not being good enough, worthy enough, of dying and going to h.e.l.l. And even though she had been a minister"s wife for more than fourteen years before Mark"s death, she had done her best to raise Seth within the framework of a religion that was based on G.o.d"s love and goodness and not on fear.
Just as she had been a product of her upbringing, so had Mark, but he had managed to become his own man despite his father"s iron-fisted approach to fatherhood. And although he had often agreed with J.B."s strict dogma, more times than not, he had disagreed. Mark had been far more his mother"s son than his father"s, for which Cathy had been exceedingly thankful.
The Sunday morning service ended with another hymn and a final prayer by one of the young deacons. J.B. headed straight for Seth, a satisfied expression on his face. Cathy didn"t think she had ever despised her father-in-law more than she did at that very moment.
She leaned over and whispered to Jack, "I need to talk to Seth."
"I"ll wait for you in the car." He glanced around at the horde of parishioners as if they were alien beings. Unless Jack had changed over the years, he was not a religious man.
"Okay." She squeezed his hand. "Thank you."
He grinned, then turned and walked away, doing his best to avoid speaking to anyone on his rush up the aisle toward the vestibule.
Cathy smiled, nodded, and even shook hands with several people as she made her way to Seth. By the time she approached her son, Mona and Elaine had joined J.B., and the threesome surrounded him, providing a buffer between her and Seth.
Mona glanced at her, a plea for peace in her eyes. "Good morning, Cathy."
"Good morning. I"d like to speak to Seth privately, please."
"Say whatever you have to say to him in front of us," J.B. told her.
Seth stood tall and straight as he fixed his gaze on her. "Thanks for being here this morning, Mom."
"Where else would I be?" She totally ignored J.B. as she wedged herself between Mona and her mother so that she could touch her son. She put her hand on his shoulder. "I"d like for you to come to lunch with Jack and Lorie and me. We"re going to the Cedar Hill Grill. You love their homemade yeast rolls and their chocolate pecan pie."
"Seth is going home with his grandmothers and me," J.B. said, his tone brooking no argument.
Cathy looked J.B. square in the eye. "Seth is old enough to think for himself. You can"t force him to become a clone of Mark or, G.o.d forbid, a clone of you. He is his own person-"
"He thought for himself last night," J.B. told her. "And you see what happened. I think you need to remember that you no longer have any rights where Seth is concerned."
"I"m his mother!"
"You are an unfit mother."
d.a.m.n him!
Mona gasped.
"Mom is not an unfit mother," Seth said. "You shouldn"t say such things about her."
J.B. snapped his head around and looked at Seth as if he"d never seen his grandson before that moment. "You know better than to be disrespectful to me. That smart-mouth att.i.tude is her doing, and I"ll have none of it. Do you hear me, young man?"
Donnie Hovater hurried toward them, leaving his handshaking duties behind as he called to them, "Please, lower your voices. Remember you"re in the Lord"s house."
J.B. stiffened. "I apologize, Brother Donnie. I"m afraid I let my concern for my grandson-"
"We should go home, J.B." Mona curled her fingers around his forearm. "People are staring at us."
He nodded, then reached out and clutched Seth"s wrist. "We"re leaving. Now."
"I"m going with Mom," Seth said. "I"ll be home later this afternoon."
"No, you will not go with her," J.B. said. "I forbid you to leave here with her."
"Perhaps we can reach a compromise." Donnie looked directly at J.B. "With your permission, Brother Cantrell, I"d like to invite Cathy and Seth to have lunch with Missy and me today, and then afterward I"ll bring Seth home."
J.B. huffed loudly. Mona tightened her grip on his arm.
"That sounds like a perfectly reasonable idea, don"t you think?" Mona"s gaze begged her husband to agree.
"Very well," J.B. acquiesced reluctantly. "I"m entrusting him into your care, Brother Donnie." Without another word, J.B. marched off, leaving Mona and Elaine standing there. Both women forced halfhearted smiles.
"Thank you for acting as a mediator in this situation." Mona sighed heavily as she looked at Donnie.
Elaine grasped Cathy"s upper arm, leaned over and hissed, "Keep this up and you"ll lose Seth forever. Is that what you want?"
Acting as if she hadn"t heard her mother"s warning, Cathy turned to Seth. "I"d thought we might have lunch with Jack and Lorie, but I"m sure they"ll understand why I"ll have to cancel on them. I need to find Jack and tell him-"
"Why"d he come to church with you today?" Seth asked.
"He came with me as a friend, for moral support."
"Are we ready to go?" Donnie asked.
"Yes," Cathy replied. "I just need a few minutes to speak to Jack. He"s waiting outside for me.