Silent Reading

TL: cici, Editor: Lady Blue, QC:MochiMochi

Synopsis: Fei Du nodded: "Yes. Recently, I feel like slowly moving away from where I was, and I am also trying out new ways of life. Thank you for so many years of help."

First Published on Ainushi. 

The psychologist looked carefully at Fei Du. For a moment, the young man’s face was flashed with a speechless and irritated look which made him look unusually young and fresh. This finding somehow almost amazed her.

Fei Du had been introduced to Ms. Bai a few years ago. His last psychologist was one of her juniors, who specialized in adolescent problems. Before that, how many psychologists he has visited was already untraceable–perhaps even Fei Du himself could not remember clearly. By the sound of this, he was quite the troublesome "p.r.i.c.kle" (1).

Of course, to introduce the patient to her, her junior was required to communicate to her in advance. The first thing Ms. Bai wanted to know clearly was the main reason for the kid to ask for psychotherapy, and why the whole process could not continue.

"I couldn"t really figure out his problem," said the junior. "He"s quite cooperative. Whatever you want him to tell you, he will talk about that with you. I tried to talk to him about issues like lack of care in his childhood, his mother’s accidental death, and so on. He didn"t evade any of my questions. His att.i.tude is very sincere, and sometimes he is considerate enough to bring you a topic when you cannot find one. Do you understand that, Big Sister Bai?"

Ms. Bai immediately figured out the implied meaning of her junior"s words–the patient was not cooperative.

During more than 10 years of Ms. Bai"s career, she had seen various visitors who didn"t cooperate with them. Some of them started to make things up from the moment they filled in the diagnostic tests; some, forced to visit the psychologist by their family, insisted that they had no problem; some believed themselves to be knowledgeable and taunted the psychologists in turn. This process was a battle of wits and courage.

Psychologists are not omnipotent. They will meet with people who, for various reasons, fail to establish mutual trust with psychologists till the end. Eventually, the entire consultation process is unsuccessful. The patients are either introduced to another psychologist or slowly give up on psychotherapy and stop visiting them.

It is no doubt that Fei Du was a special case among special cases.

He belonged to the cla.s.s that started to make things up since filling in the diagnostic tests; and the stories he made up were flawless. In conversations, he was rather talkative and seldom evaded topics. At first glance, he even looked like an open and clear-minded person who believed there was nothing he needed to hide from others.

At a younger age, he was also very good at self-control. Even when he met a very sensitive topic, he would not show any sign of intention to defend against or offend the psychologist. His emotional feedback had always been comparatively positive.

The only problem was that it was too positive.

No matter how healthy and powerful a person is, it is impossible for him/her to always maintain the rational calm when talking about a deep sorrowful experience–after all, the great AI only needs charging. They don"t need psychotherapy at all.

Ms. Bai used countless methods but still failed to establish an effective communication channel between the psychologist and the patient, so she had to admit to him frankly: "I had done everything I could do for you–I might not be able to help you. If you still think you need help, I will try to introduce you to a better psychologist."

Unexpectedly, Fei Du refused. And after more than one month of ineffective treatment, he doubled the consulting fees as if he was stupid and rich. He bought Ms. Bai"s last two working hours of every Wednesday night. Besides, every time before he left, very sweetly he would give her such lines like: "Your working place makes me feel very comfortable, and it"s a great help to me."–if she didn"t think herself old enough to be his mother, she would flatter herself by suspecting this playboy was there to hook up with her.

If there was not much to talk about in his daily life, Fei Du would borrow some books from her, return them when he came a week later, and then chatted with Ms. Bai about the books he borrowed. It seemed like he was not coming for consultation, but instead to become her graduate student. Yet slowly, she found out that although the effect was very weak, this method sometimes exposed a bit of his real self. Though he would slyly avoid it once questioned.

Like a man living in a closed castle, he was surrounded by walls of iron and bronze among which there was only a transparent window. He silently observed the outside world from behind the window. One must not bat an eyelid when getting close to it in order to make him cautiously open up a tiny gap in the window.

Ms. Bai looked very cautiously at Fei Du and asked: "A friend?"

"Well, a mischief-maker that returns kindness with ingrat.i.tude," Fei Du gently ground his teeth and put his cell phone back in his pocket. "Then I will go now and bother you next week."

Like what she usually did, Ms. Bai walked him to the door.

Fei Du placed one hand on the door and pushed the other back in the air to signal that she didn"t need to bother going any further. Suddenly he remembered something, and added: "Ah yes. Ms. Bai, next week will probably be the last time I come. I think it"s better to tell you in advance so that you can schedule the time for others."

Ms. Bai felt a bit surprised and asked subconsciously: "Do you think your problem is solved? Don"t need to come anymore?"

Fei Du nodded: "Yes. Recently, I feel like slowly moving away from where I was, and I am also trying out new ways of life. Thank you for so many years of help."

Ms. Bai smiled bitterly: "But I still don"t know where you were."

"It"s good enough if I know it myself," Fei Du smiled at her, "Let"s talk again later."

The next morning, the odd-and-even license plate rule of Yancheng, which was complained about around the city, was still continuing…

when a man with a few sticks of cat’s hair on his trousers, riding a clinking tinkling broken bike like a delivery guy, met with his love rival who was driving a luxury sedan–

We do not know about the case of others, but we know that Captain Luo had gotten used to being shameless, so his psychological state was quite stable.

He rode the bike with a momentum as if it was actually an aircraft carrier. After he stuck the bike with "foot brake" at the roadside, he raised his chin towards Fei Du: "Local tyrant, you came to give warmth (2) to the traffic police group again? I will let them give you a dozen of VIP tickets later."

President Fei opened his mouth to make a response calmly: "Someone has to receive a ticket when he accompanies the younger sister of a friend here for a police investigation? Captain Luo, that famous line really suits your bureau–"The doors of Yamen look like the character ba when they are open. If you are on just grounds but have no money, you are unwelcome"(3)"

After he finished talking, he looked up and down at the door of the Bureau and hung the three words "Tut, so poor" at the corner of his eyebrows clearly.

Luo Wenzhou looked behind him and saw a young man and a young woman coming out from the car. The girl had a pair of red eyes. When he looked carefully, he found that her eyes and eyebrows looked a bit like Zhang Donglai"s.

Luo Wenzhou leaned to one side to get off from his "Er Ba (4) Aircraft Carrier": "Zhang Ting?"

Zhang Donglai had a sister, whose name was Zhang Ting.

Luo Wenzhou was not familiar with her–after all, the girl behaved herself, unlike her wild brother who got locked up in the small black house (5) of the local police station because of illegally driving a car at top speed.

Zhang Ting was about to reply, but the man next to her reached out to stop her.

The man stepped forward, handed Luo Wenzhou a business card, and spoke before Zhang Ting: "h.e.l.lo, police officer. I am a lawyer hired to provide service for my client Zhang Donglai, and I would like to know more about the investigation status of the case."

Luo Wenzhou frowned and scratched his eyesight across the lawyer"s face.

When he was neither speaking nor smiling, there was a kind of arrogant indifference in his eyes.

Luo Wenzhou did not take the business card. He glanced at Fei Du first. Fei Du was leaning against the car door, his head lowered, playing with his cellphone as if it was none of his business. Luo Wenzhou, pa.s.sing the lawyer, turned to Zhang Ting: "Have you talked about hiring a lawyer with your family? Does your uncle know?"

Zhang Ting was puzzled.

Before she answered, Luo Wenzhou took the lawyer’s business card with one hand and said with a fake smile: "Really in time–it hasn"t even been 24 hours yet."

"In this kind of situation, the sooner the lawyer is involved the better, isn"t it?" The lawyer, reluctant to show weakness, replied with a simper, "Our job is to protect the rights of our clients."

At this time, a weak greeting came from behind: "Good morning, Captain Luo."

Luo Wenzhou turned around and saw Xiao Haiyang standing in front of the entrance with a dozen files in his arms–he was brought back to the Bureau by Tao Ran the previous day. Today he was so self-conscious that he came by himself.

"Good," Luo Wenzhou looked at him and laughed. Reaching out his hand to point at him, he said to the lawyer, "Talk to "the guy in charge of this case" yourself–you, come here."

Xiao Haiyang was inexplicably thrown over to a lawyer by Luo Wenzhou. Before he could react, he was entangled by the lawyer and received a bunch of questions first. He became totally confused: "Where"s Vice… Vice Captain Tao?"

Luo Wenzhou smiled at him very steadily: "There is a small issue at Tao Ran"s home today, so he"s taking today off. Little Xiao, after all, the case is still under your management. You should know it most clearly."

Only after sending Xiao Haiyang and the lawyer away, did Luo Wenzhou, with his face darkening, turn to Fei Du and say: "What does this mean?"

Fei Du raised his eyebrows: "I don"t know, I’m just a "not-reached-the-marriageable-age-yet" driver who drove them here on the way."

Luo Wenzhou rolled his eyebrows at Fei Du. Moving his eyes across the puzzled Zhang Ting beside him, he pulled out his cell phone, clicked the screen a few times and showed her a photo of He Zhongyi: "I will make it short. Have you met this person?"

Zhang Ting was caught off guard by the face. Scared, she stepped back a bit and hid behind Fei Du instinctively.

Fei Du raised his hand to block Luo Wenzhou"s wrist: "Could you please be polite to a girl?"

"Zhang Ting," Luo Wenzhou stared at Zhang Ting and said in a light but severe voice, "This man was killed the night before yesterday, and now your brother is a major suspect. This is a murder case, and your every line as testimony is important. What do you want to do by hiding behind an irrelevant person?"

Zhang Ting shivered and grasped Fei Du’s sleeves.

"It will be alright," Fei Du bent himself slightly, moved closer to her ear and said. "Tingting, just tell the truth. Captain Luo has the same opinion as mine–we both think it"s impossible that your brother is involved in this matter."

Perhaps she was comforted by him, Zhang Ting hesitated for a moment and then took over Luo Wenzhou"s cell phone. She was not able to calm down to think carefully for a long time. When she was about to bite off a patch from her thumbnail, she nodded: "The photo is a little bit distorted… but I should have met him before. I was an intern at the trade center. And one day when I came downstairs to buy a tea, I ran into someone strange."

She pointed to the photo shown on Luo Wenzhou"s cell phone: "It was this man. He grabbed me and asked if I knew someone called "Feng Nian Ge" (6)."

(1) p.r.i.c.kle: The p.r.i.c.kles of plants are often used as a metaphor for people who are hard to deal with.

(2) give warmth: A type of activity in which Party A sends some gifts to or simply visits Party B so that the Party B feels happy. Generally speaking, Party A is more superior in social status than Party B.

(3) The doors of Yamen look like the character ba when they are open. If you are on just grounds but have no money, you are unwelcome: Yamen was the administrative office in ancient China. When its doors are open they have the shape of Character 八(ba). This line was an old slang, which means if people want the Yamen to help them (even if they are really on just grounds), they needed to give bribe.

(4) Er Ba: An old style bike brand.

(5) small black house: A humorous way to call the room for confinement.

(6) Feng Nian Ge: Since Zhang Ting didn"t really know the characters in He Zhongyi"s line, these three characters are written as pinyin only. Please note that the first character "Feng" could either be a family name or simply a character in a given name, while the last character "Ge" could be either a character in a name or the way He Zhongyi refers to a man who is elder and more senior than him.