"But with whom, and why?"
"With my Lord Carford. The reason I need not weary you with."
"But I desire to know it."
"Because my lord said that Mistress Gwyn had obtained me my commission."
"But it was true."
"Doubtless; yet I fought."
"Why, if it were true?"
I made her no answer. She went and seated herself again at the table, looking up at me with eyes in which I seemed to read pain and puzzle.
"I thought it would please you, Simon," she said, with a coaxing glance that at least feigned timidity.
"Never have I been so proud as on the day I received it," said I; "and never, I think, so happy, unless, may be, when you and I walked in the Manor park."
"Nay, Simon, but you will be glad to have it, even though I obtained it for you."
"I shall not have it. I go to Whitehall to-morrow to surrender it."
She sprang up in wonder, and anger also showed in her eyes.
"To surrender it? You mean in truth to surrender it? And because it came from me?"
Again I could do nothing but bow. That I did with the best air I could muster, although I had no love for my part in this scene. Alas for a man who, being with her, must spend his time in chiding!
"Well, I wish I hadn"t remembered you," she said resentfully.
"Indeed, madame, I also wish that I had forgotten."
"You have, or you would never use me so."
"It is my memory that makes me rough, madame. Indeed, how should I have forgotten?"
"You hadn"t?" she asked, advancing nearer to me. "No, in truth I believe you hadn"t! And, Simon, listen!" Now she stood with her face but a yard from mine, and again her lips were curved with mirth and malice.
"Listen, Simon," she said, "you had not forgotten; and you shall not forget."
"It is very likely," said I simply; and I took up my hat from the table.
"How fares Mistress Barbara?" asked Nell suddenly.
"I have not waited on her," I answered.
"Then indeed I am honoured, although our meeting was somewhat by chance.
Ah, Simon, I want to be so angry with you. But how can I be angry? I can never be angry. Why" (and here she came even a little closer, and now she was smiling most d.a.m.nably--nay, I mean most delightfully; but it is often much the same), "I was not very angry even when you kissed me, Simon."
It is not for me to say what answer to that speech she looked to receive. Mine was no more than a repet.i.tion of my bow.
"You"ll keep the commission, Simon?" she whispered, standing on tiptoe, as though she would reach my ear.
"I can"t," said I, bowing no more, and losing, I fear, the air of grave composure that I had striven to maintain. I saw what seemed a light of triumph in her eyes. Yet that mood pa.s.sed quickly from her. She grew pensive and drew away from me. I stepped towards the door, but a hand laid on my arm arrested me.
"Simon," she asked, "have you sweet memories of Hatchstead?"
"G.o.d forgive me," said I confusedly, "sweeter than my hopes of heaven."
She looked at me gravely for an instant. Then, sighing, she said,
"Then I wish you had not come to town, but stayed there with your memories. They were of me?"
"Of Cydaria."
"Ah, of Cydaria," she echoed, with a little smile.
But a moment later the full merriment of laughter broke out again on her face, and, drawing her hand away, she let me go, crying after me,
"But you shall not forget, Simon. No, you shall not forget."
There I left her, standing in the doorway of the inn, daring me to forget. And my brain seemed all whirling and swirling as I walked down the Lane.
CHAPTER VI
AN INVITATION TO COURT
I spent the rest of that day in my inn, agreeably to the advice of the surgeon, and the next morning, finding my wound healing well, and my body free from fever, I removed to Mr Darrell"s new lodging by the Temple, where he had most civilly placed two rooms at my disposal. Here also I provided myself with a servant, a fellow named Jonah Wall, and prepared to go to Whitehall as the King"s letter commanded me. Of Mr Darrell I saw nothing; he went off before I came, having left for me with Robert, his servant, a message that he was much engaged with the Secretary"s business, and prayed to be excused from affording me his company. Yet I was saved from making my journey alone--a thing that would have occasioned me much trepidation--by the arrival of my Lord Quinton. The reverence of our tender years is hard to break down, and I received my visitor with an uneasiness which was not decreased by the severity of his questions concerning my doings. I made haste to tell him that I had determined to resign the commission bestowed on me. These tidings so transformed his temper that he pa.s.sed from cold reproof to an excess of cordiality, being pleased to praise highly a scruple as honourable as (he added with a shrug) it was rare, and he began to laugh at himself as he recounted humorously how his wrath against me had grown higher and higher with each thing that had come to his ears. Eager now to make amends, he offered to go with me to Whitehall, proposing that we should ride in his coach to the Mall, and walk thence together. I accepted his company most gratefully, since it would save me from betraying an ignorance of which I was ashamed, and strengthen my courage for the task before me. Accordingly we set out, and as we went my lord took occasion to refer to my acquaintance with Mistress Nell, suggesting plainly enough, although not directly, that I should be wise to abandon her society at the same time that I laid down the commission she had obtained for me. I did not question his judgment, but avoided giving any promise to be guided by it. Perceiving that I was not willing to be pressed, he pa.s.sed from the topic with a sigh, and began to discourse on the state of the kingdom. Had I paid more heed to what he said I might have avoided certain troubles into which I fell afterwards, but, busy staring about me, I gave him only such attention as courtesy required, and not enough for a proper understanding of his uneasiness at the dealings of our Court with the French King and the visit of the King"s sister, Madame d"Orleans, of which the town was full. For my lord, although a most loyal gentleman, hated both the French and the Papists, and was much grieved at the King"s apparent inclination in their favour.
So he talked, I nodding and a.s.senting to all, but wondering when he would bid me wait on my lady, and whether Mistress Barbara was glad that my Lord Carford"s sword had pa.s.sed through my arm only and done no greater hurt.
Thus we came to the Mall, and having left the coach, set out to walk slowly, my lord having his arm through mine. I was very glad to be seen thus in his company, for, although not so great a man here as at Hatchstead, he had no small reputation, and carried himself with a n.o.ble air. When we had gone some little way, being very comfortable with one another, and speaking now of lighter matters, I perceived at some distance a party of gentlemen, three in number; they were accompanied by a little boy very richly dressed, and were followed at a short interval by five or six more gentlemen, among whom I recognised immediately my friend Darrell. It seemed then that the Secretary"s business could be transacted in leisurely fashion! As the first group pa.s.sed along, I observed that the bystanders uncovered, but I had hardly needed this sign to tell me that the King was of the party. I was familiar with his features, but he seemed to me even a more swarthy man than all the descriptions of his blackness had led me to expect. He bore himself with a very easy air, yet was not wanting in dignity, and being attracted by him I fell to studying his appearance with such interest that I came near to forgetting to remove my hat. Presently he seemed to observe us; he smiled, and beckoned with his hand to my lord, who went forward alone, leaving me still watching the King and his companions.
I had little difficulty in recognising the name of one; the fine figure, haughty manner, and magnificent attire showed him to be the famous Duke of Buckingham, whose pride lay in seeming more of a King than the King himself. While my lord spoke with the King, this n.o.bleman jested with the little boy, who answered with readiness and vivacity. As to the last member of the group (whom the Duke seemed to treat with some neglect) I was at a loss. His features were not distinguished except by a perfect composure and self-possession, but his bearing was very courtly and graceful. He wore a slight, pleasant, yet rather rigid smile, and his att.i.tude was as though he listened to what his master said with even excessive deference and urbanity. His face was marked, and to my thinking much disfigured, by a patch or plaster worn across the nose, as though to hide some wound or scar.
After a few minutes, during which I waited very uneasily, my lord turned and signed to me to approach. I obeyed, hat in hand, and in a condition of great apprehension. To be presented to the King was an honour disquieting enough; what if my lord had told His Majesty that I declined to bear his commission through a disapproval of his reasons for granting me the favour? But when I came near I fell into the liveliest fear that my lord had done this very thing; for the King was smiling contemptuously, Buckingham laughing openly, and the gentleman with the plaster regarding me with a great and very apparent curiosity. My lord, meanwhile, wore a propitiatory but doubtful air, as though he prayed but hardly hoped a gracious reception for me. Thus we all stood a moment in complete silence, I invoking an earthquake or any convulsion of nature that should rescue me from my embarra.s.sment. Certainly the King did not hasten to do me this kindly service. He grew grave and seemed displeased, nay, he frowned most distinctly, but then he smiled, yet more as though he must than because he would. I do not know how the thing would have ended if the Duke of Buckingham had not burst out laughing again, at which the King could not restrain himself, but began to laugh also, although still not as though he found the jest altogether to his liking.
"So, sir," said the King, composing his features as he addressed me, "you are not desirous of bearing my commission and fighting my enemies for me?"
"I would fight for your Majesty to the death," said I timidly, but with fervour.
"Yet you are on the way to ask leave to resign your commission. Why, sir?"
I could not answer; it was impossible to state my reason to him.