"He threatened Sinjun," Christy contended. "You"re not to let Lord Derby out of your sight, Rory. Do whatever is necessary to protect him. Calum is destroying the clan with his jealousy and threats."
"Ye can depend on me, Christy," Rory proclaimed. "I"ll keep yer husband alive for ye."
"You are all taking Calum too seriously," Sinjun argued. "But I"ll be glad for your company, Rory."
"So be it," Rory said. "Come along, Margot, "tis late."
"Do ye need me tonight, Christy?" Margot asked.
"No, go to bed, Margot. Rory is right. Tis late."
"I"ll give Christy whatever help she needs," Sinjun said. Margot gave him a startled look before she turned and accompanied her handfast husband from the hall.
"Good night, Sinjun," Christy said. "I can manage just fine by myself."
"It would please me to help you undress."
"But not me," Christy muttered beneath her breath.
Ignoring her, Sinjun swept her into his arms and strode up the stairs.
"Sinjun! Put me down."
Christy could do little but cling to him as he negotiated the narrow stairs. When he finally did put her down, they were inside her chamber. He let her slide down his body, giving her the full benefit of his aroused body. Christy smothered a moan. Didn"t he know what he was doing to her? How could she possibly resist Sinjun"s seduction if he continued to batter her senses?
His hands went to the fastenings on the front of her gown. "I"m rather good at this, if you recall."
She recalled every moment she"d ever spent with Sinjun. Too well, unfortunately. She shoved his hands aside. "I don"t need help."
Sinjun"s heated gaze shifted from her face to her stomach. "I want to see you. I have a right. I am your husband."
"How nice of you to remember." Her words dripped with sarcasm. "Too bad you didn"t know that when you made me your mistress. Or when Lord Sin was having a grand time earning his reputation."
Sinjun scowled. She made him sound like a man without any redeeming qualities, a man she didn"t admire. h.e.l.l, he didn"t even admire himself these days. What had happened? He had as much reason as Christy to be angry, if not more. "You should have told me who you were," he shot back. "I want you, that hasn"t changed."
"Are you offering me forever, Sinjun?" Christy challenged, her voice trembling with emotion. "Will you be around to guide our bairn to adulthood? Will you be faithful to me? Will I ever be more to you than a convenience? A woman to warm your bed until you return to London and your decadent ways?"
"I honestly don"t know," Sinjun said bluntly. "I could say you"ll always be the only woman I"ll ever want, but, dammit, I don"t know. In fact, I feel that way right now, but Lord Sin doesn"t have the best reputation when it comes to matters of the heart. Can you accept me on those terms?"
Tears clogged Christy"s throat. Didn"t he know how much she wanted him, how she ached to hear him say he loved her? Why couldn"t he be the kind of man she needed?
"I thought you were angry with me."
"I was, but "tis difficult to remain angry at the woman who is carrying my heir. Lying to me was wrong, we both know that. But after careful consideration, I see no reason why we should deny ourselves something we both want and enjoy."
Christy stiffened. "How do you know what I want? You never so much as thought about me until I came to you in London." She touched her stomach. "I already have what I wanted from you." She turned away.
"Dammit, don"t turn away from me!"
He pulled her against him. He kissed her nape. His heat scorched her. She absorbed his musky scent through her pores and felt herself softening. She knew she shouldn"t, but when he touched her, her bones melted and her resistance wilted. Succ.u.mbing to Sinjun"s seduction would not be in her best interest, but sweet Virgin, the temptation was irresistible. She was not made of stone.
His hands were on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, cupping them, stroking her nipples. She flushed when she felt them pebble against his palms and knew Sinjun felt it too, for she heard a chuckle rumble from his chest. His s.e.x stirred against her bottom, and she had to forcibly restrain the urge to press backward into the hard ridge of his desire. When his hands splayed across her stomach, she went utterly still as he explored the mound where her bairn grew.
"I want to see you naked," Sinjun whispered against her ear. "I want to see where my child is growing."
His hands returned to the fastenings on her gown. He undid the first b.u.t.ton, then a second. She watched his clever hands manipulate the fastenings and remembered how swiftly he had undressed her in the past ... and how eager she had been to undress him.
"You can look," she said, "but nothing more. I can"t risk having my heart torn from me when you leave."
His hands stilled. "What about me? Did you ever consider what your leaving did to me?"
She shook her head. She hadn"t thought it would have mattered to Lord Sin. She a.s.sumed he would have had another woman waiting to take her place.
"d.a.m.n you!" he cursed, turning her roughly in his arms. "I wondered if you were carrying my child and didn"t like the idea of another man claiming him. I drank to forget, lost money in the seediest gambling h.e.l.ls in London and haunted Covent Gardens for a woman I hoped could make me forget you. Nothing helped." He gave her a gentle shake. "Nothing, do you hear me? Julian carped at me constantly about my excesses. You did that to me, Christy. You! What do you think of that?"
Christy blanched. It hadn"t occurred to her that Sinjun would miss her as much as she missed him. Not Lord Sin, a man who avoided commitment and shunned responsibility.
"I ... had no idea. I didn"t like myself much for what I did to you, but I feared you"d avoid me like the plague if you knew I was your wife. You forget, Sinjun, I was privy to your thoughts during our time together. You didn"t mind being married as long as your wife remained where she couldn"t interfere in your private affairs. You weren"t about to mend your wicked ways."
"Did you care for me at all? Or was everything about our affair a lie?" Sinjun asked.
How can he be so dense? Christy wondered. Were all his experiences with women so shallow that he couldn"t tell when a woman truly cared? "I cared, Sinjun, too much. "Tis why I can"t let you seduce me. Were I to care for you more than I do now, "twould tear me apart when you leave me. That"s why I asked if you were ready to settle down and be a husband to me and a father to our bairn. Without a.s.surances, I cannot let myself love you."
Something inside Sinjun stirred. Conscience? Suddenly he wanted to become the kind of man Christy needed. "I can try, sweetheart. We have all winter. Give me a reason to change my ways. Let me love you. Give me a chance to be what you want."
She stared into his eyes. They were utterly black, utterly determined. With a cry of exultation, he swept her into his arms.
The feel of her warm flesh forced the tightening in his groin into full erection. The front of her dress was gaping open, and he jerked it down over her shoulders, then yanked the tape holding her shift. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were larger, her nipples darker. He lowered her to the bed and followed her down.
He kissed her eyelids and the tip of her nose, while he caressed the smooth white flesh of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Moments before his mouth claimed hers, he looked into her eyes and read eagerness and mounting desire. He prodded her mouth open and wrote love notes with his tongue. He was starved for her taste, her sweetness. He kissed her until she was trembling beneath him. When he lifted his mouth and stared into her eyes, he saw his own reflection, and something else. Something he"d never seen, nor looked for, in the eyes of women he"d bedded. It was so stunning, so unexpected, that he feared to give it a name.
"Christy..." There was something he wanted to say, but he couldn"t find the words.
He groaned when she dug her hands in his scalp and brought his mouth down to hers again. He kissed her long and pa.s.sionately, sucking her tongue into his mouth and then giving her his. She sighed when he broke off the loss. Sinjun merely smiled and slid his mouth down to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He licked her sensitive nipples, and she whispered his name, arching her back to offer more of herself.
"Too d.a.m.n many clothes," he whispered as he raised his head from her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and made swift work of her clothing. When she was naked, he sat back on his heels and stared at her.
She tried to cover her stomach with her hands, but he pushed them aside. "No, don"t try to hide yourself from me." Reverently he ran his fingertips over her distended stomach. She wasn"t large enough, he thought, and vowed to make her eat more for the sake of their child.
"The bairn is small yet," she said shyly. "She will grow during the next four and a half months."
Sinjun"s elegant brows shot upward. "She?"
"I"m hoping for a daughter."
Did he detect a hint of challenge in her voice? He spanned her hipbones, shaking his head in dismay. "You"re too narrow. I"m a big man. Are you sure you"re capable of birthing this child?"
" Tis rather late to question my ability to deliver. I"m determined to have this child."
"Aye, I know. You"re beautiful. More beautiful than the first time I saw you." He lowered his head and kissed her stomach.
She appeared surprised. "I don"t disgust you? Most men can"t stand the sight of their pregnant wives."
"Do I act like you disgust me? Your body is lovelier than I remember. I"ll be careful. Let me know if I do anything to hurt you."
"Why are you being so nice? When you arrived you acted as if you couldn"t stand the sight of me."
"Each in our own way, we must bear the burden of guilt for our past actions."
"I have little faith in you, Sinjun. I warn you, I"m not letting you steal my heart; you cannot be trusted with it. Come spring, Lord Sin will hie himself back to his decadent life in London."
Sinjun supposed he deserved that, but it still hurt to have his sins laid bare before him. "I can"t promise it won"t happen just as you say, but I can say with complete honesty that you are the only woman in my life right now."
"There has never been another man in my life," Christy whispered against his lips.
He kissed her hard, then rose quickly and began pulling off his clothing, ignoring the flying b.u.t.tons and ripped material in his haste to render himself as naked as Christy. Then he covered her with his body, gazing intently into her expressive green eyes.
She wrapped her long legs around him, groaning in frustration when he made no move to enter her. Instead, he trailed his mouth down her throat to her breast, sucking a ripe nipple into his mouth.
Then his mouth moved lower, to her waist, her belly, trailing burning kisses down her trunk until he found her center. A jolting thrill of pleasure danced through her body, searing and shocking and wonderful. She gasped, arching upward into his caress.
When his tongue stroked her there, she moaned and thrashed wildly against the heat of his mouth as waves of sensation rocketed through her. His tongue parted her, explored the moist folds, dipped into her heat. The tension that had been building inside her uncoiled in a burst of ecstasy, the explosion rendering her mindless and boneless.
When she floated back to reality, she saw Sinjun leaning over her, gazing into her unfocused eyes. "Open for me, sweetheart." His eyes were so dark, so drenched in desire, that she felt herself drowning in them. Her legs parted, and he pushed inside her. "Tell me if I hurt you."
Hurt her? The pleasure of having him inside her again was so incredibly wonderful that she nearly swooned. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, meshing their bodies; nothing had ever felt so right, so complete. His hardness filled her, possessed her, enchanted her. Her hips rose upward to meet his slow, deep thrusts, drawing him deeply inside her.
She heard him whisper her name, heard his long drawn out sigh, and felt him grow and throb within her. And it began again, that feeling of helplessness, that swiftly gathering heat that drained the strength from her limbs and scalded her body, that sweet, intense feeling she couldn"t contain.
"Christy, come now, love ... now." His voice sounded hoa.r.s.e, as if his throat were raw.
She felt his body convulse, felt his s.e.x expand and contract inside her, and her body shattered around him.
"Christy, are you all right?"
She was floating, lost somewhere in that blissful void where pleasure had taken her. She heard his voice as if from a great distance.
"Sweetheart, was I too rough? Forgive me. I didn"t hurt the baby, did I?"
Somewhere in the fog of her mind she registered Sinjun"s concern and smiled. He sounded as if he truly cared about her and her bairn.
"Thank G.o.d," Sinjun said when she opened her eyes.
"You weren"t too rough," Christy said on a sigh. "It"s been so long..."
He gave her a disarming grin. "Much too long. No other woman makes me feel like you do."
Christy stared at him, stunned. "No other woman?" He must have had dozens. "Surely you jest. You"ve had scores of women more experienced than I."
"Scores," Sinjun agreed, kissing the tip of her nose.
"Men aren"t interested in their wives that way."
"True."
"Why are you being so agreeable?"
"I"m an agreeable fellow."
"Sinjun, be serious. Tell me why you"re helping the crofters."
"Now?"
"What better time?"
"I want to love you again."
"Now?"
He threw her words back at her. "What better time?"
He loved her slowly, with such tender care that Christy felt truly cherished. His thrusts were slow and measured, his excitement carefully banked, and then Christy"s patience snapped. Grasping his hips, she pulled him deeper, showing him without words what she wanted from him. Only then did he unleash the full potential of his pa.s.sion, thrusting them both to completion. Afterward, she spooned herself against his back and dozed.
She was nearly asleep when she felt a tiny fluttering in her abdomen. An unmistakable movement. She cried out, waking Sinjun. He reared up, his eyes wild as he sought the reason for Christy"s alarm.
"What is it? Are you ill?"
"Feel," she said, grasping his hand and bringing it to her stomach.
"Feel what?"
"Wait."
The bairn moved again. Sinjun must have felt it, for his hand tensed and his eyes widened with pleasure.
"Is that what I think it is?"
"Aye. Our bairn. "Tis the first sign of life I"ve felt."
The flutter came one more time before the baby settled down. Christy thought it appropriate that her child"s father was with her the first time she felt life. She wondered if he was as awed as she by their bairn"s first feeble movement.
"Sinjun."
"Aye."
"I know you don"t want this child as desperately as I do, but I hope you won"t close your mind against her."
Sinjun was silent a long time. Then he said, "I never gave it much thought. Lord knows I"m not the best person to preach responsibility, but when you hatched your plan to carry my child, was it because you truly wanted a child or because you needed an heir for Glenmoor?"