"That"s... good to know."
"When our people recognized the sword in the marketplace, they attacked you in hopes that you would speak the magic words and activate it, so that we would learn it in that way. But you did not do so. It does not matter now, though," she said with a shrug, "for you have become our willing ally."
For a long moment, nothing was said. Then her lips were right against my ear, and her breath was hot against it as she whispered, "You were his student. The inheritor of the sword. And you are our willing ally. Do you know the words? The words that activate the magic of the sword."
"Of course I do," I said quickly. "But I"ve learned something about alliances: What makes them function is when they operate from mutual strength. You need me because of what I know. If you know it as well, you will no longer need me, and my worth as your ally will be greatly diminished."
"Perhaps. Or perhaps you are simply lying about knowing the magic phrase."
"Always a possibility," I said. "Either way, I"ve no intention of telling you what it is."
"Can you whisper it without my hearing it and bring the sword to life so I can see a demonstration?"
"Yes... if you have an overwhelming desire to die," I said, improvising as fast as I could. "You see, once the blade is brought to life, it will slaughter everyone around it, save the blade"s wielder, until they are all dead. Now if you truly wish me to do this thing, then I can--"
"No," she said quickly. "That... will not be necessary."
"Would you like me to...?"
"No."
I was very much enjoying the power I was wielding at that moment. Even without the magic words, I was suddenly in charge. Veruh was clearly daunted by the power of the blade and the implicit threat that I would use it. I felt as if it was shifting the balance of power over to me.
Thus emboldened, I put my hand behind her head and pulled her to me, even as she was still formingthe word "No" in response to my previous question. The word was smothered against my lips. She stiffened slightly in surprise, but then became soft and pliant against me. She murmured against my mouth, made soft cooing noises, and when we parted she smiled and touched my face.
"You were the most exotic-looking person," she said.
"I have never met anyone like you," I told her. "I"m not sure if there is anyone like you."
"You may very well be right about that."
There were too many bits and pieces of information floating around in my brain. Too many things for me to a.s.similate, to comprehend. I chose instead to jettison them and focus on the one thing that was clear and pure and true, and that was my attraction to this incredible, phenomenal woman. All else was set aside, and the second time our lips came into contact, it was more her kissing me than the other way around. Her tongue darted into my mouth, and energy seemed to dance between us. My body trembled from it and when we came up for air, I managed to say, "What... was...?"
"My spirit. My "shi." I shared a bit of mine with you, and took some of yours into me, since you don"t yet know how to focus it yourself. But I will teach you. Show you things you haven"t known."
I reached for her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, but she placed her hand atop mine gently and whispered, "I will touch... and you will feel."
Then she leaned over and blew out the candle.
She told me to lie down upon my back, and I did. And then...... then...
I cannot even begin to describe it. Clothes rustled and fell away, and there were more scents that permeated my very being, and her lips were everywhere, everywhere, and her skin rubbed against mine, with more of that energy, that "shi" seeming to leap off her into me. My body trembled beneath her ministrations, and then I slipped into incredible moistness that sent my consciousness spiraling away. I was outside and inside myself all at the same time, and thoughts of Ali and the village and Mitsu and Mordant and all of them, they were gone, just gone, of no importance whatsoever. The only thing that mattered was Veruh and the things she was doing with me and to me, and the heat built within me and built and built, and I was that volcano that had spit up the sword, and when I erupted it seemed to go on forever, and when I was sated and thought nothing more could happen, she started over again, and soon I was unable to distinguish reality from fantasy. The real world, such as it was, had lost all meaning to me because it paled in significance to the overwhelming glory that was Veruh w.a.n.g Ho.
Time pa.s.sed.
How much time, I did not know. It might have been later in the day, it might have been days later. I wasn"t hungry, I knew that. All sustenance was drawn from the incredible energies that Veruh had unleashed within me.
All I knew was that, eventually, an eternity later, I was lying in darkness.
My eyes had adjusted somewhat to the lack of light, and suddenly a full and true comprehension of my vulnerability flooded into me. I reached out, grabbing for where I thought the demon sword should be... ...and there it was. The sword, plus my other weapons, my staff, even my clothes, all in a tidy heap upon the floor.
She had taken nothing.
This evil woman, this woman from whom I had expected betrayal, had taken nothing of mine.
Of course, there was always the consideration that nothing of mine would have been of much benefit to her. She couldn"t make use of the demon sword without the magic words that she thought I knew. The rest of my weapons were useless to her. She could have tried to torture me for the information, but considering the power I had ascribed to the sword, she might well have been bringing her own doom upon herself.
So she had loved me, or at least made love to me in ways that I had never experienced. Whatever connection I felt our souls had made, it had been solidified and grown through the physical contact.
G.o.ds knew I was no virgin. But I had never, ever, encountered anything like the techniques that Veruh had used. Or perhaps... perhaps it was something as simple as that we had bonded on an emotional and spiritual level in a way that I never had with another woman.
Except...
...now what?
There, in the darkness, my mind began to wander. Wander toward a conclusion that I couldn"t say I was enjoying drawing.
I had no idea whose side I was on anymore.
It had never been a question in my life before, because the answer had always been the same: I was on my side. I didn"t give a d.a.m.n about anyone else. There was me, my considerations, my concerns, and that was it. The rest of humanity could go hang.
That hadn"t been happening in Chinpan, however. Instead, ever since I had come to this infernal country, I had wound up forming alliances with, or developing feelings for, just about everyone with whom I"d come into contact.
And every single alliance I"d formed and feeling I"d had had come a-cropper. Had been disastrous.
I should not have been surprised at this. Not a cynic like me. Not someone who always expected everything to turn to s.h.i.te.
Yet I was indeed surprised.
There had been the people of Hosbiyu. The gentle, sweet, loving farm people... who, as it turned out, used the bodies of their departed enemies to help their crops grow.
There was my teacher, my mentor, Ali. The man who had me engage in involved exercises and lessons that I had convinced myself all led to some greater purpose. Except, if what I"d now learned was true he hadn"t known a d.a.m.ned thing about self-defense. This entire "Zennihilation" thing was just rubbish.
Something he"d developed to cover the fact that he was a fake and a charlatan, dependent upon a demonsword to dispatch any serious threats.
Then there was the princess. The one whom I had thought I had come to know, despite a rocky beginning, only to discover that she was part of an overly amorous cult of shadow warriors plotting to bring down her father. And as for her father... well, actually, he was the least disappointing of the lot of them. At least I"d known going in that he was something of a loony. Even when he was busy calling me his friend and expressing satisfaction, I knew that entire relationship could come apart at any time.
And Veruh...
My soul mate.
My lover.
My eventual betrayer.
That had to be the case. Sooner or later, somehow or other, she would betray me. Between the fact that she was already heading up a criminal organization and my own tendency to hook up with women who stabbed me in the back at the first opportunity, it was only a matter of time.
I had wanted to begin a new life in Chinpan. I had wanted things to be different here.
But they weren"t.
Because of me.
As much as I enjoyed blaming the G.o.ds or the fates, or writing off the rest of humanity as base and pointless, I was being brought face-to-face with the realization that unhappiness followed me the way disease followed rats.
I had found myself in the midst of a life-and-death political struggle that would have immense consequences for all concerned-- And I simply didn"t care. The princess was a shadow a.s.sa.s.sin, the Imperior wanted to kill me, the criminals were bleeding criminals, the innocents had dark secrets, my lover would probably betray me, my teacher was probably a sham and, if the evil and probable betrayer could be believed, had died of natural causes.
Oh, and I had in my possession a weapon of deeply destructive power, except I didn"t know how to use it. But people who would likely kill me as soon as look at me thought I did know how to use it, which was probably the only thing keeping me alive. And those were my allies.
What the h.e.l.l was I doing there? What was the point of any of it? It was madness. Madness. Here I had endeavored to become more a part of the world, and instead I was more detached than ever before.
In Isteria, I had known the dark, unpleasant underbelly of the order of knights who were so revered.
Because of my own foul conception, I knew that the principles of chivalry were a sham and a joke.
So here I had come to Chinpan, to a far-off land, handed a new and fresh start by the G.o.ds, and discovered a people who claim to elevate honor above everything. Yet not a single one of them appeared to be motivated by honor at all. Instead it was merely a pretext to do whatever the h.e.l.l they felt likedoing. Everyone here was just as self-absorbed and vicious as anyone else I"d ever met.
"I have to get out of here," I said aloud, and realized that it probably hadn"t been especially bright for me to articulate that intention.
But then I listened very carefully for some indication of soft breathing in the darkness. Nothing.
Veruh was gone. Gone as if she was never there.
I whispered her name. No response. A creature of mystery was she, and obviously she liked to keep it that way. I supposed I couldn"t blame her. She enjoyed her exotic makeup, her dalliances in the dark.
It just helped to underscore the hopelessness of any sort of long-term relationship. Familiarity takes the exotic and reduces it to the mundane. And if Veruh w.a.n.g Ho became mundane, she would lose an important part of herself. Obviously she knew that, and I was just beginning to understand it.
So where did that leave me?
Depressed, naked, and in the dark.
I began to shiver, as if the shadows were permeating my skin. This was certainly alarming, considering that one time shadows really had permeated my skin. It was enough to motivate me to dress quickly and get the h.e.l.l out of there. And by the time I was back out in the incredibly narrow street, I knew exactly what I was going to do.
With all the evils I was faced with... I was going to return to the least of them.
The people of Hosbiyu might not have been what I expected them to be... and Ali might well have been a fraud and a fool... but at least they weren"t actively trying to kill me, which put them several notches above everyone else in this d.a.m.ned place.
I was going to go back to the farmers.
I would live as one of them for as long as I could... hopefully forever. With any luck at all, I would seek solace in the anonymity of the village.
Would the Forked Tong come after me there? There was always the possibility. Then again, there was the possibility they would come after me anywhere. On the other hand, perhaps there was something in Ali"s personal effects that contained the words that would activate the demon sword. And if I wielded its power, why then...
Then I could defend the village.
I wouldn"t use it to seek out power for myself. I wouldn"t use it to conquer. It would simply be for defense, and ideally I would never have to use it. But if I did, then it was a necessary evil. And that would be a nice change of pace from all the unnecessary evil I had encountered in my life.
And then I heard Veruh"s soft voice. It seemed to come from right beside me and everywhere, all at the same time.
"You want to leave?" she asked. I was quiet for a long moment. I considered all the lies I could tell at that point.
But I was tired of lies. And for someone like me, for whom lies had been as mother"s milk, that was a remarkable admission to make, even for myself.
"Yes," I said.
My shoulders tensed. I braced myself for... I wasn"t sure what. A reaction. A torrent of rage. A blow to the back of the head. Something.
"Very well."
I blinked in the darkness. "Pardon?"
"Very well. You may go. We of the Forked Tong are patient. We do not require all our goals to be met immediately. When you leave this place, do you think you can find your way to the West Gate?"
"I... I think so. Yes."
"Go there. The forest is near. Enter it, go fifty paces. A horse will be waiting for you. Do what you need to do."
"And... what if I don"t come back?"
There was silence. And then, sounding both amused and saddened, she said, "If there is something you love, you must be willing to release it. If it returns to you of its own volition, it will never leave you again."
"You"re... saying you love me?"
"I"m saying go. All else can wait."
I was suspicious, of course. It was too perfect not to be suspicious of it. I started to make my way out through the darkness, hesitated, and then said, "How do you know when you truly love someone?"
"Have you never truly been in love?"
"I don"t think I ever have, no."
"Ah. The way you know, Apropos... is that the welfare of your partner is more important than your own welfare. You elevate their needs above your own. Are you capable of that?"
Another question which almost screamed for a lie. Yet once again, I spoke the truth: "I don"t know."
"Nor do I," she admitted. "So I suppose... this will be a chance for both of us to find out. Farewell, my love."
And with that, she was gone. Moments later, so was I.
Chapter 9.
Chin Music