"My Jid did a lot for me growing up,he showed me the way I want to be. You know, he was even the one who taught me how to ride.""Then you taught me." Piping up Chang held up a finger as she spoke cheerfully, it was one of her fonder memories.
"So I did." Acknowledging her with a crooked smile and a nod, he brushed one of her hairs by her ear. "I would love to do that with you again. I would love to see you smiling in the sunshine with the wildflowers and just enjoy the day with you. I just want to see you truly happy again, it hurts to see those shadows in your eyes haunting you."
Feeling a lump she smiled weakly at him with a film of tears in her eyes.
"That would be nice. I don"t know though if I"ll ever be able to smile like I used to again. Things are different now. I"m different now."
"I know that circ.u.mstances may be different now, but I believe it is possible with time. You will able to."
Not wanting to argue with the man about the matter, but unbelieving, Chang clutched her towel tighter and got up to find a suitable outfit from her closet.
Opening the door wide, she held out a dark navy blouse, scrunching her mouth and contemplating. She wanted to dress in something pretty, but after last night and the morning, anything too provacative was definitely off the acceptable list.
As she deliberated, Chang both felt and saw his hand reach over her to grab the fabric in her hand. Clicking his tongue in distaste, Jian started to flip through the different outfits hanging up.
"Are all your clothes in these dark hues or white." Dissatisfied with her wardrobe Liang JianAmal looked down at her.
"Yes. Why?" Still deciding on her top, she looked up at the tall man standing beside her with a displeased expression on his face.
"Tch." Not knowing what to say about her taste anymore, Liang JianAmal"s mouth twisted after clicking his tongue.
"Haha, are you seriously nitpicking my clothing. You know my best friend, who used to be a bit of a stickler about fashion, didn"t say anything negative about my wardrobe." Unable to resist laughing at the irony of it Chang dropped the top and poked at his chest.
"These do not suit you, only a rare few, such as the black dress I saw you in the other day. You are more suited to brighter colors, they showcase your spirit better. These are far too somber and plain for you."
"Well they hadn"t as of late, what you call plain and somber was what only seemed fitting. Everytime I have tried on something with color, it has felt garish and overdone. Only the darker hues, or my simple whites have been pleasing." Shrugging her shoulders Chang spoke matter-of-factly.
"Do you still feel the same?"
"I think I need to update my wardrobe, I feel differently about it now, like I might need some more color."
"We shall remedy this shortly for you. This actually brought my mind back to what you said earlier this morning, and I agree with you but not completely."
"Huh?" Unable to follow his trail of thought Chang looked at him, totally confused as to what he meant.
"I mean about what you said about the things in your life have happened as they were meant to." Seeing that she understood Liang JianAmal was able to continue. "I think that maybe not all of it was truly necessary and as how it should have been."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean the things that have pulled you from me and kept us apart. This prolonged period of darkness and sadness you"ve wallowed in alone, the evils that you were forced to face from within your own kin, this cold front you have been forced to learn to put up. I do not believe it was necessary. "
"You might be right, but I don"t know. I mean I"m glad I met my grand-père, but I wish that I had met him under better circ.u.mstances. I wish I had come here with a more sound mind, not as broken as I was unprepared for what faced me. You"re right I had to face a lot of really f.u.c.ked up s.h.i.t from my family, especially Robert but grand-père has always been good to me. And I feel like I"ve risen above, and I"ve gotten stronger; mentally and physically. I"ve learned and grown in a professional aspect too.
"But because I"ve been forced to face events that felt like they would crush me, I feel like l hardened with time. I have hardened and become colder because I had to, I have had to become more aloof and uncaring or I would not been able to thrive. When I look in the mirror I see I"ve been becoming, no I became someone I don"t recognize anymore really."
Looking down Chang admitted something she only admitted to herself in front of the mirror in the mornings as she did her makeup. Right after she spoke, Chang only briefly saw his shadow before he had taken her into his arms, her face stuffed against his shirt. From atop her head his voice came out low and pained.
"No, I see you for who you are, and you are not the hardened, cold person that you think you are. Remeber you told me yourself about the little bakery owner, hold onto that, you should know yourself that you are not. You are still the bright individual you have always been. This environment has given you too much poison though, and it has blinded you. Come with me Chang, leave this place."