Siren Song

Once back at her house Chang diligently cleaned off her makeup before showering . For once Jian allowed her to take her time and bathe herself in peace . Taking advantage of the moment, Chang turned the water temperature up to a degree he for sure would have complained about, filling the room with cleansing steam .

Tilting her head up enjoying the feeling the steaming rainfall across her face, it almost felt as if hot tears were still streaming out .

Chang scoffed to herself at the thought . It was highly unlikely she could still cry . By the time she got back home she had felt dried up and hollowed out from having cried so much . Placing a hand against the gla.s.s Chang grimaced as she shook her head .

"Why can"t he understand why I"m afraid . No, this is more than just fear, I"m terrified . And it"s not just paranoia from past experiences like he thinks . I know that something bad will happen, because of past experiences . Why doesn"t he understand that . "

"Why don"t you understand that Jian?" Whispering to herself, Chang despaired .

"I want to trust in you so bad Jian . I want to believe that it would all be fine, but I know it won"t . I wish it could be, it is not fair that it just can"t be .

"I wish we had more than just now, I don"t even know how we have for now . . I wish we could have a future together . I wanted to be able to wake-up and have your face be the first I see every morning . And you would be awake like usual, and you tell me good morning in that s.e.xy voice of yours then kiss me . I even thought about how nice it would be if we had a baby one day, and how wonderful it would be if he or she had your pretty eyes . "

To her surprise a sob choked up her throat crushing her chest as she tried to stifle it . The injustices just kept piling up when she thought about it .

"First my dad dying because no one cared . Then I met Jian only to be torn away from him twice . Then my mom dying from cancer not that long after being torn away from Jian the second time . It"s just not fair .

"Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I have to say goodbye now again . Why can"t I just be with my family and be happy? Why do they all keep being taken from me one way or another?"

Pressing her weight against her palm on the gla.s.s Chang sunk to her knees and allowed herself to weep openly now that she was alone .

Blinking up occasionally she let the hot water wash away her tears as soon as they formed, hoping it would take the feelings with them . They only grew throughout her, suffocating her .

Chang did not know how long she had been in there for when Jian pulled open the shower door, backing up when the cloud of steam a.s.sailed him .

Instantly Liang Jian Amal felt sweat all over his brow and his lower back from the extreme heat and moisture in the room .

"Has she been in here in this unnatural heat the entire time? That is not good for her, she should know better . "

"You had been in here so long I was starting to worry for you . What are you doing down there?" As he spoke Liang JianAmal held a hand out to her to help her up off the floor .

"Jian . . "Her face crumpling Chang quickly jumped up into his arms latching her arms tight around his neck . Burying her face there, she sobbed uncontrollably .

"Hey, why do you keep crying like this, you are going to make yourself ill . There is no need for this, I already told you it will be fine . "

"No, it won"t . " Barely intelligible due to her sobbing Liang Jian Amal almost chuckled as he held her soaking wet back . He refrained seeing her continued miserable state . Reaching over Liang JianAmal shut off the scalding water that continued running and put arms around his shoulders .

"Chang what do I need to say to rea.s.sure you?"