As Chang held her mother"s limp hand and cried, begging her, she felt a slight twitch from it. Li Hua"s eyes fluttered open, her eyes gla.s.sy and unfocused. Chang started screaming for the doctors and nurses as she saw her eyes opening.LiHua made a small writing motion with her other hand as her eyes started to focus on Chang. Chang didn"t understand at first, but as her mother continued to do the motion while looking at her she realized what she wanted.
Chang went to the wall and grabbed an info sheet with a blank back, a couple of magazines and a pen. She put the blank side of the paper over the magazines, to give her a better writing surface and put it under her hand with the pen.
As soon as she had the pen in her hand Lihua started to frantically scrawl across the page, quickly covering it in black ink. After it had been filled Li Hua dropped the pen, letting her hand go limp.
After writing whatever it was she wanted to she turned to Chang and gave her a small smile that was bursting with love and pride. As she smiled Chang felt the slight grip in her other hand grow lax.
She looked down at it briefly and as she did she heard the long flat tones of the machines her mother was attached to. Chang called out and tried to rouse her, but her eyes were already fixed on nothing.
Chang screamed and cried but it did nothing. A few of the doctors pulled her away as they swarmed around her mother. She reached her hand out not wanting to let go yet as she struggled.
The sounds of her daughter"s and the doctors shouts seemed to become fainter, the harsh tones of the machines, were just a gentle buzz, even the harsh fluorescent lights seemed softer and more comforting. Chang, the doctors, and the world around her started to become faint, and their shapes indistinct.
After having put on there everything she wanted to tell her daughter. Lihua released the pen and let herself sink back. The pain had reached a culmination before disappearing, leaving only a hint of the memory of it. She felt like she was receding into a room far from where she was. Somewhere where there was no pain, no sadness, no loss. Nothing.
Lihua let herself fall into the release from the pain and suffering. Her last thoughts still being for her daughter.
"I wonder if you ever read all those letters I sent through the years, or ever viewed the pictures. Jean-Jacques please take care of my daughter. I have no one else now to rely on now.
"Liang Jian Amal please don"t disappoint my expectations either.
"Chang please forgive your mother for not being able to accompany you through your life. I wish I could have been there for you.
"I wanted to see you wear a white wedding dress and walk down an aisle. I wanted to see you marry someone you loved, and see you together with them to the end of my days. I always wanted to see your first child and hold them and see the joy in your face. I wanted to watch your child grow and see the joy they brought you like you brought me. You and your father were the greatest sources of joy in my life.
"I love you so much and I"m so proud of you. You are so strong, just like your father, you will survive this and much more. We will be looking out for you always. Please forgive us for not being able to live longer to be there for you.
"We love you so much and we always will."