Sleeping Next To The Pirate King

"Jesus Christ Sara! Get a hold of yourself!"

The author blew her nose, quite loudly if I may add and nodded. I sighed.

For the 100th chapter, the author and I have teamed up to deliver a conference with the main cast of Sleeping Next to the Pirate King. in this conference the cast will ask the authors and criticize several things which she had done with their personalities. Wait a second. Please excuse for a moment. The author is trying to escape the conference as she always escapes her issues in reality.

"Clark, Josh, Ash, Wilhelm, hold the author down! We will get our justice today and question her mistakes and faults!"

As you can see the author has been reprimanded. She is now sitting in the corner of the room obediently as she chews on a donut. I guess that even real-life humans are weak to sweets as well. Now, the first interrogator will be the main lead, himself, and my cute hubby, Baron!

The characters in the room clapped as Baron bowed and walked up to the author. He then sat in front of her and sighed.

"Miss author. I would like to understand why you have made Mila such a difficult woman to fall in love with."

"Baron, you a.s.shole! Questions like that are not to be asked at the conference!"

The author looked at me with eyes pleading for "help". I shrugged. Author, you have brought this on yourself. The author set down the donut and cleared her throat.

"Well Baron. It"s nice to see you in the flesh like this. You do look as handsome as I have written you."

"Hey author, don"t hit on my lover."

The author chuckled from my statement then said.

"Well it wouldn"t be as interesting if the two of you just fell in love after one night together. This is a novel after all so I have to make the romance convincing."

A hand rose in the crowd as Baron nodded. I then said.

"What is your question Josh?"

"Well, the readers would like to know how someone who has never dated or fallen in love such as the author has managed to write a romance novel."

I nodded. A good question. I turned to ask the author only to see her bang her head on the wall next to her.

"AUTHOR! CALM YOUR f.u.c.kING SELF DOWN! DO NOT HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN BECAUSE OF BEING SINGLE! YOU MUST BE CALM!"

The author blew her nose as blood dripped down her forehead. She breathed out in relief and smiled as if nothing happened. She then gave me a thumbs up. Like h.e.l.l if everything is okay! This is why you"re still f.u.c.king single!

I sighed. This was going to take too much time if everyone asked her questions individually. Baron then clasped the author"s hands and said.

"Please Author make a chapter soon which makes and Mila become one in be-"

Baron coughed blood as my fist bled.

"Baron dear, stop telling the author bulls.h.i.+t. Say that one more time, and I"ll cut off that stick of your which allows you to relieve yourself after drinking and eating."

Baron covered his groin as he nodded and walked back to his seat. The author yawned as she sat comfortably in her leggings and sweats.h.i.+rt. I don"t blame her for being tired. Midterms could be quite the b.i.t.c.h. She has been living thanks to coffee, popcorn, candy, and ramen. I then turned to the crowd and said.

"Okay everyone, we will just have you throw your criticisms at the author."

Jacia stood up and said.

"Look author, I love smoking and the character design that you have made for me, but don"t you think that the backstory was a little cringey?"

The characters sitting down nodded as I did as well. Jacia"s backstory was too common and does not present any thought. I looked to see the author doze off. She woke up when someone threw a compa.s.s at her.

"Don"t sleep when you"ve done such injustice to all of us!"

Johannes, his crew, Clarabella, Daniella, Clark, Wilhelm, and Francois yelled out unanimously.

"WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO GIVE US SOME MORE SCREEN TIME?"

The author chuckled nervously as she looked over at me.

The crew members of each captain then stood and said.

"Why are we all background characters? We have no pizazz or s.p.u.n.k! You didn"t even name us! In your book of notes you have us all written off as crew member 1, crew member 2, etc.! Give us our rights as characters!"

The author took out a calculator and started to complete her calculus homework. I flipped her off the as she did the same back to me. Technically I have no complains. I"m the main protagonist so plot armor kind of saves my a.s.s all the time. Suddenly the Marquis and his family stood up and said.

"How could you just throw us away like that! You had just used us to move along your plot! You peasant!"

The author looked at him as she said.

"Wait, who are you again?"

The Marquis took out his sword and rushed towards her. Clark and Wilhelm held back the Marquis.

"Let me at her! Let me at her!"

As the Marquis calmed down, Weston then stood up and said.

"You b.i.t.c.h of an author, why couldn"t you have progressed Mila and I"s romance? You kind of cut that s.h.i.+t off too quickly! Your story has an issue with pacing. Why don"t you give us all a break sometimes? You just keep on throwing s.h.i.+t and s.h.i.+t at us all the time!"

The characters yelled out in agreement. The author put her hood on and covered her face in shame. I sighed. This must be every author"s nightmare to be confronted with your issues. Jacia then stood up and said.

"This is an R-18 story, so why aren"t there more love scenes?"

The characters yelled out in agreement. I flushed. Jesus Christ these people were truly shameless. I raised my hand and said.

"Calm down everyone. She is our creator and author. Don"t be too hard on her. You do know that she has the power to write out your lives right? So, keep getting on her bad side and don"t expect to show up for a couple of chapters or worse, be written off."

The characters sat down quiet as the reality of the situation settled in their minds. I turned to see the author have a dark aura surrounding her. She chuckled evilly as she wrote in a book which had the t.i.tle of, "Character Note" on it. Jesus Christ, despite appearing to not hold a grudge she was already writing off characters.

As I opened my mouth to say something to the crowd, the sound of something cracking filled my ears. I turned to watch the author slowly tiptoe towards the door. She then looked back, smiled shyly and closed the door behind her. The characters and I looked at the empty spot where the author was and yelled. We took out our swords and pistols. I then yelled out.

"Bring the author back! We will get justice for our shortcomings!"

All of the characters then barged out of the door as we stampeded towards the author. Terror filled her eyes as she ran.

Again, my name is Mila, and all of us characters truly do appreciate you all as our readers. Thank you all for tuning in to this conference. The author sends you all kisses for reading and appreciates your attention and support to her story. She will continue to write and hopefully not slack off. Stay safe all of you and be careful!

See you soon on Sleeping Next to the Pirate King!