_Uncle._ I suppose not.
_Aunt._ But Bertha says that they would give up anything in college sooner than that. Viola and Malvolio, both of them, say that they regard it as the most valuable training they"ve gotten up here. They say it"s quite the equal of any of their courses.
_Uncle._ Ah! do they?
-- _Curtain rises on a very elaborate garden scene of arbors and flowers; frantic applause, doubled at the entrance of Sir Toby and Sir Andrew._
_Group of cynical alumnae on fire-escape._
_First Alumna._ As for that Sir Toby--
_Second Alumna._ Hush, my dear, that may be the bosom of her family forninst us!
_First Alumna, lowering her voice._ I think he"s indecent and ridiculous.
_Second Alumna._ He"ll be the pride of the cla.s.s, my little cousin says. They"re raving over him.
_First Alumna._ Then they"re idiots. My dear, we may have had our faults, but we were seldom vulgar, if we weren"t remarkable!
_Third Alumna._ What I mind so much is that all the papers are filled with that trash about gracefulness and womanliness and girlish delicacy and the great gulf between us and the coa.r.s.e professionals, and as far as I can see, we are filling in that gulf as fast as possible. We seem to be striving after the very thing--
_First Alumna._ Precisely. In a word, it"s Daly, not Shakespeare. And they don"t see that Dalyism takes money--we haven"t the scenery and costumes for it.
_Second Alumna._ That horrible Sir Andrew!
_Fourth Alumna._ But Malvolio--
_First Alumna._ Oh, Malvolio"s all right. As far as a girl can do it.
The question is, _can_ a girl do it? I think she can"t.
_Third Alumna._ And as for allowing that Miss Jackson to imitate all Ada Rehan"s bad points, when she naturally fails of her good ones--
_Fourth Alumna._ But, my dear, the men like it. They"re all pleased to death. They think it"s the cleverest thing they ever saw. They say Viola"s magnetic--
_Third Alumna._ Hgh! She"s coa.r.s.e, if that"s what you mean! The whole tone of the thing is lowered. I think that way she acted the duel scene last night was simply vulgar. But the girls all howled with laughter.
_Fourth Alumna._ Well, if they"re pleased--
_First Alumna._ They shouldn"t be pleased!
_Fourth Alumna._ Surely, Annie, you think this garden scene is funny!
_First Alumna._ Why, I laughed. It"s a good acting play. But I wish the Literature department had more to do with it and the trainer confined himself to--
_Usher interrupts._ If you please, I must ask you to make less noise.
You are disturbing the people near the door!
-- _The curtain has fallen on the Fourth Act. A group of last year"s graduates standing at the back in party-cloaks, with a few of the Mob in shirt-waists and make-up._
_Recent Court Lady, tentatively._ Did you like the dance?
_First Graduate._ Oh, it was fine! It was terribly pretty, Ellen, the whole thing!
_Recent Court Lady, relieved._ I"m so glad you liked it. Wasn"t Sue grand!
_First Graduate._ Yes, indeed, but I liked Malvolio so much!
_Court Gentleman._ Good old d.i.c.k! My, don"t we love her! Orsino"s going to do him at cla.s.s supper, you know. And Olivia"s going to be Sir Toby.
_Second Graduate._ How n.o.ble! Sir Toby is about the best I ever saw, May.
_Court Gentleman._ Isn"t she that? She"s going to be Viola. She squirms and twists just like her--
_Court Lady._ Oh, come on, May Lucy, and get to bed! (_They go out whistling airs from the play and are violently suppressed by a group of ushers, whose excited remonstrances are loudly criticised by a large and nervous lady in the rear, greatly delighting the contingent from the Mob._)
_First Graduate._ Now, Katharine, just tell me, perfectly impartially of course, how you think it compares with ours.
_Second Graduate._ Well, girls, frankly I must say I"m a little disappointed. (_Nods from the others._)
_Third Graduate._ It"s not that it"s not well done, for it is, but it"s such a fine play it ought to have been well done by anybody. And for all that Sue Jackson"s such a wonder, I must say--
_Fourth Graduate._ Yes, exactly. She"s too heavy for the part, I think.
_Second Graduate._ Of course Toby was fine and Malvolio and Maria--
_Fifth Graduate._ Well, then, with three fine ones I should think--
_Second Graduate._ But Olivia and Sebastian and Orsino were such sticks--
_Fourth Graduate._ Still, those third and fourth and fifth scenes in the second act were beautiful.
_Second Graduate._ But the others were so plain. They just stacked on the good ones. Still, I suppose they did the best they could. Mary Vanderveer has just _slaved_ over it.
_Fifth Graduate._ We know what _that_ is!
_Second Graduate._ Well, honestly, I think this is a _prettier_ play than ours, but I do feel that ours was a little _better done_! Here, let"s see Sue in this. I think she"s pretty good.
-- _The curtain has fallen on the Fifth Act. Malvolio and Viola come out of their dressing-room to the street, and slip out of a crowd of ushers and under-cla.s.s girls. A general flutter of congratulation and sympathy follows them._
Oh, Miss Jackson, it was great! Simply fine! Susy, my child, say what you"d like and it"s yours!--Where"s Lida Fosd.i.c.k?--Lida! d.i.c.k! She"s gone long ago. Where"s Toby? Gone, too. Somebody has some flowers for her. Oh, take "em up to the Wallace!--Well, good-night! Wasn"t it grand!--Grand! There"s Betty! Hi, Betty! Oh, Miss Twitch.e.l.l, it was so--
_Miss Twitch.e.l.l, mechanically._ So glad, so glad you liked it--we loved to do it! Oh, yes! Oh, dear, no! Just a little, yes. The making-up was so long. Mother--thank you, _thank_ you--Mother, where _is_ the carriage? Oh, thank you _so_ much!
_Mrs. Twitch.e.l.l, nervously._ Yes, indeed, she"s tired to death. I"m very glad, I"m sure, if you liked it. Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Waite?
Yes, here she is. Bessie, here is Mrs. Waite. You see she sat in the Opera House since five o"clock to be made up, and only sandwiches and all the strain--yes, indeed. f.a.n.n.y looked very pretty, I thought. In the dance, wasn"t she? Yes, so pretty. I"m sure I wish Bessie had only been in the dance--Oh, here"s the carriage, dear!