Finest suck ye ever had. I ought to know. The farmer winked again.
Say she"s got a snort too?
Genuine pure corn licker.
Naw, said McKissick. We best attend our ch.o.r.e.
Reckon I could inquire what that is? the tenant said. Ye ch.o.r.e, I mean. Jest curious is all. Lonesome as it gits out here in the woods. Yall sure ye don"t want a suck?
I could use me a suck be honest, said the smith. Wouldn"t mind a snort neither. Reckon that judge would pay?
McKissick peered at Smonk"s tenant. Naw about the suck and naw about the licker and h.e.l.l naw about asking after our business. One more such question "ll earn you a bullet or two where they can"t be dug out.
I didn"t mean no offense.
Fools never do. If ye see Smonk, don"t tell him you encountered us. Bout the only thing we got in our favor here is the element of surprise. Without looking at his companion the bailiff said, Give nosy here a pay-off.
Gates balanced his rifle on the horse"s back and reached in his bib pocket and tossed down a rusty nail.
Obliged, the tenant farmer said, picking it up to bite, watching the two men continue along their way, the overloaded mule struggling behind.
How many? Smonk asked from the bed, opening his eye. He"d been resting but knew without being told about their visitors.
From the window, watching the men ride into the sugarcane, Ike flashed two fingers.
Two? s.h.i.t. Smonk threw a b.l.o.o.d.y rag across the room. Shamefulest posse I ever heard of is my own. Two. Of all numbers. One"s my former employee, I speck. Missed his liver. The other one, couldn"t tell ye. Not that judge I guarantee ye that. Maybe some laggard didn"t show up at my event. Smonk drank from his jug and belched and moved his sore foot to a cool spot on the quilt. They coming?
Ike shook his head.
Good. We"ll catch our breath, get em on the flipside. He patted the ticking and the woman came from the shadows and lay beside him like a pool of warm wax and started under the sheet with her hand.
Naw, he said. Rub my d.a.m.n foot.
Ike picked up an eight gauge doublebarrel shotgun from the corner by the door without looking at what the girl was doing and went to the porch putting on his hat and whistled for the tenant.
The man trudged up the hill. Don"t be whistling at me, he said, sticking out his arm. Last time I checked my skin was still white and yers was still n.i.g.g.e.r-colored.
Ike looked where the men had gone into the trees, watchful that they might sneak back and spy, which he would of done had he been them. Watch the place a day, day and a half.
They wouldn"t bite, the tenant reported. I said jest what I"s supposed to. But they claim they going after Mister Smonk over his place. Like they knew him. It was two of em. One was gigged.
Well, said Ike. I speck you best git on. He"s evicting ye.
What"s that mean?
Kicking ye out.
A n.i.g.g.e.r? A dern n.i.g.g.e.r"s booting us out? He reached into his back pocket and unfolded a Case pocketknife.
One of Ike"s eyebrows spiked and his hand struck the knife from the tenant"s hand and his own razor flashed and slit the farmer"s throat and Ike had wiped it twice on the man"s shirt as if it were a strop and slipped it back into his pocket before the tenant could fathom that today death was the color of a Negro.
It ain"t fair, he squeaked.
Ike stepped aside as he fell. Fair, he said, as if there was such a thing.
Meanwhile, Gates had become addicted to sucking the rust off nails. He had ulcerous s.p.a.ces between his teeth and he would work the nails softly into his gums, where the rust dissolved. It felt good. Also, he had the s.h.i.ts and every half-mile or so had to be let off to do his business in the trees and then run to catch up with his ride.
Ain"t you a fellow renowned for his sense of humor? he asked. Didn"t somebody tell me that?
McKissick didn"t turn. I was. Once.
Can ye say a dirty joke?
Naw.
Little conversation be nice is all. I can never remember no jokes.
I got me jest one more joke to say in my life, said the bailiff. After I"ve cut Smonk"s thoat or gutted him nuts to neck or shot him in the heart, jest fore he dies, I"m gone show him his selfsame gla.s.s eye.
Back up a step, pard, said the blacksmith. You got his eyeball?
McKissick frowned over his shoulder but dislodged it from his jaw and spat it into his palm and displayed it. Maybe it would make the blacksmith hush. The fellow reached forth a finger to touch it but McKissick popped it back in his mouth.
Careful, he said. I ain"t so sure he can"t still see thew it. He looked around them. These is strange times.
I seen stranger, said the blacksmith. Did I ever tell ye about the time I seen a cannonball go right thew a boy? In the War? It left a perfect hole in his gut for a second. We all started laughing, what was left of the regiment, even the man with the hole in his middle, laughing, laughing, laughing. Then he fell dead and we laughed harder. We was falling down laughing. Cannonb.a.l.l.s rolling past. We p.i.s.sed ourselves, one and all, and kept on laughing. Then after a time we got quiet and went hid over behind some burnt-up hay wagons. We was about fourteen year old, I reckon. We couldn"t look one another in the eyes no more. We made a pack right after that to never talk about what had happened. But you know something? I talk about it all the time. I"m surprised I ain"t mentioned it before.
I am too.
Presently they rounded a turn on the road and beheld the Smonk homestead at the end of a long double row of cedars. A former sugarcane plantation, the house was as stately as a hotel and boasted among its oddities a cast iron dome with a spike that reached higher than the trees. Fastened to the spike was a bronze weathervane in the shape of a gamec.o.c.k. The house had three stories and eleven bedrooms, a billiard parlor and hidden a.r.s.enal. In the back there was a statue garden which Smonk let go wild and so the naked people frozen in marble looked as if they were being strangled by vines and ivy. To the left were several outbuildings including a barn and beyond the barn lay an apple orchard and on the other side of the house there was a stone well with a shed covering it and boards over the mouth and stones over the boards. The men glanced at one another. The house seemed deserted, its shutters closed except for one, tapping open and shut in the wind, unkempt ivy lacing the front columns and weeds through the porch. The dome windows were dark and there were perhaps a dozen dead dogs on the porch and others strewn in the yard.
Bad luck had sent an angry red moon which flung the men"s shadows before them on the ground. The bailiff and blacksmith dismounted and crept along the twin rows of cedars leading the horse and mule as insects screamed in the trees and fields. They eased off the cobblestone road with the animals in tow and skirted the house and came in downwind through a scraggle of bitterweed, pausing in the moon shadow of the barn.
You want to rest up inside here a spell? the blacksmith asked.
I speck so, said McKissick. I done got dizzy.
Yeah. Gut wound "ll do that.
You ever had one?
Naw.
They entered the barn and moved quietly through the darkness among the lumbrous animals, the bailiff tying their mount and beast of burden to a crossbeam near the door. The blacksmith was thirsty so he set aside his weaponry and slipped between boards into a stall and squatted next to the cow and rang milk into a bucket by squeezing her udder. When he had his all he offered the bucket to the bailiff.
Naw, said he. I"ll not take nourishment till Smonk"s head is separated from his shoulders.
The blacksmith reached up and grasped the cow"s ear to help him to his feet. He had a milk mustache. It might make ye somewhat less lightheaded, he said.
Don"t worry about the weight of my head. It works fine enough to come up with a plan. Listen, McKissick said, and told how he would sneak up to the manor and break in and try to a.s.sa.s.sinate Smonk and rescue the boy, if he were still alive. If anybody who wasn"t the bailiff or his son came out of the house, the blacksmith was to use the Winchester rifle to ambush him from the barn.
Gates agreed. But his plan-his secret plan-was to wait until McKissick had killed Smonk and then ambush and kill McKissick. Or even if they didn"t find Smonk, which would of been fine with the blacksmith, he could still prove he killed Smonk by possessing his eye. He imagined showing it to several young girls and how their t.i.tties touched his elbow.
Can I see that eyeball agin? he asked.
h.e.l.l naw. Jest kill anybody comes out the house. Anybody cept me. Or Willie.
Gates gave a thumbs-up.
McKissick trotted off and left the blacksmith to peer through a crack in the barn wall wondering who Willie was. The bailiff closed the distance to the giant house, such an expert he seemed at skullduggery that even watching him the blacksmith sometimes lost track of the a.s.sa.s.sin"s position.
As McKissick neared the house one live dog rose from among the dead ones and began to growl and snap. It came tottering down the stairs. It"s got the ray bees, the blacksmith whispered to himself as the dog charged. McKissick dropped to one knee and steadied his pistol arm with the other and shot the dog once in the head and stood to watch its final staggering steps. It fell not five yards from his boots and he replaced the spent cartridge with a fresh one from his new gunbelt and looked back toward the barn.
Gates waved behind the boards but McKissick was back on the go, melting shadow to shadow across the open yard and blending alongside the house. He holstered his pistol and scaled one of the trellises and pried open the shutters of an upstairs window and his legs disappeared inside.
Waiting, Gates screwed his pipe wrench all the way out and then all the way back in. He did this several times. He saw a rat creeping up on him and stomped on its head and the pest lay wiggling. d.a.m.n, he said. You a big one ain"t ye. He jingled the nails in his pocket then lined them up on the ledge of the cow"s stall and selected the rustiest and sucked it into his gums. He saw another rat and threw a clod of mule s.h.i.t at it. He found a pail and shat a hot stew and told the horse, Dang, that sum-b.i.t.c.h stinks so bad I can"t hardly squat over it. Holding his nose, he carried the pail out the back door and urinated in the straw and, inside again, began to name all the dead citizens of Old Texas and knew he was leaving somebody out.
He"d arrived in the town two years prior, had been on the run from the law for bigamy and arson and trying to sell a wagonload of stolen exotic snakes. A posse had chased him out of Jackson Alabama and he"d fled south through the woods, exhausting the horse he"d stolen and splashing on foot into a swamp. From there he found the river and followed it up the country, enmeshed in such a tangle of wilderness he"d of gladly submitted to a noose just to get out of the d.a.m.n mosquitoes. It might of been days or weeks he was lost, eating bugs and frogs, finding a new leech on his b.a.l.l.s ever morning. At some point he"d mistaken a creek for the river and followed it inland, half-mad from malaria and worms in his stool, his beard wild and flowing, his clothing long since shredded, skin covered in tears and gashes. It was pure chance that Lurleen had been out looking for berries. She"d carried him on her back to Old Texas and called the doctor who ministered to him for weeks and by the time he was sitting up in bed he was somehow engaged to be married. He reckoned it didn"t matter he had two wives already and took the plunge a third time.
It ought to of been a dream, Lurleen decent enough to look at, plus her daughters-the three of them prancing about the house trying to show him their wares. Lurleen made it plain that he could lay with any one of them he wanted, said it was all in the family. Said the town needed younguns or it would dry up and die. For a number of months Gates had found himself in heaven, four women with large knockers and appet.i.tes, constantly vying for his k.n.o.b. But anything could get old and within a year he dreaded each time they came to him, every night and morning, raising their skirts. He"d sneak down to his shop where he hid his whiskey and there would be Clena bent over his anvil with her bloomers down.
Thrown in the mix, too, was Old Texas-the entire town-with its strangenesses and secrets. Where were the children? Why the shortage? Lurleen said it was because of the War. Said all the men and boys had gone off to fight and left the women alone. The other men who were there were men like Gates, fellows who"d found their way here and married a widow and were themselves as happily s.e.xed as any men anywhere. But whenever a gal got knocked up, it was something happened to the baby. Better not to ask, Lurleen had said. It"s church business. And Gates, always one to mind his own affairs, hadn"t.
He"d acc.u.mulated about enough of the mysteries when Smonk had started coming to town, though. Year ago. To tell the truth, he"d kind of liked Old E.O. He was ugly but he always had licker to sell, and if you didn"t get crossways of him, he wouldn"t get crossways of you. He would beat you at cards, but as long as you paid he was pleasant enough. Good licker too. Plus he was another man for the stepdaughters to moon over. And Lurleen. He remembered the night of the barn dance when she was out on the hay with Smonk. Gates was adding licker to the punch bowl when McKissick elbowed him and said, Uh oh.
Smonk"s hand was on Lurleen"s caboose and ever body was looking to see what Gates would do. Had he had his druthers, the blacksmith would of told Smonk, Take her. Please.
Then McKissick pushed Gates out over the hay. Everybody had seen what was going on, so poor old Gates had little choice but to start his banty-rooster strut, raising his hand for the fiddler to stop and that knucklehead on the triangle too.
Smonk must of known Gates was coming though Gates was behind him. The one-eye twirled Lurleen out of the picture and stood with his back to the blacksmith, waiting.
Gates glared at him. Then he said, Reckon that"s my woman, Smonk.
She is, Smonk said, is she?
He turned without looking at them and walked out of the barn. A strut of his own. Before he stepped outside he gave Gates"s wife a wink. She squealed. She squealed and jumped up clapping her hands and ran out after him. She never looked back.
Poor old Gates. Standing there pulling on his thumb. No man wanted to go out after E. O. Smonk, in the dark. But Gates had no choice. Out he went.
They found him half an hour later in the livery barn with his head bashed in. Near about dead. The men had a town meeting about it and agreed to meet again, but finally it was their wives harping on them that made them round up a mob and ride out to Smonk"s. Gates hadn"t yet awakened from being conked and might never, for all they knew. That would be murder, the ladies had pointed out. And this town needed every man it could get.
Ten men went. All the other husbands. They flew a white flag approaching Smonk"s plantation. The one-eye was sitting on the porch drinking a tumbler of bourbon and soaking his feet in brine. They all had guns. He held his dog back on a rope and listened to them say he was going to be taken in lawfully and detained lawfully and tried lawfully.
Smonk flicked a cigar into the yard. Then hanged lawfully?
The law will decide that, Justice Tate said.
You mean yer wife will.
Enough, Hobbs the undertaker said. You can"t jest ride into a town and steal a fellow"s wife and knock em in the head, Smonk.
Seems like you"d appreciate the business, undertaker.
Well I don"t. Do ye see the position you"ve give us?
Smonk looked out at them. Their guns. They"d all donned neckties. If I can disprove the charge of rape, he asked, will yall drop the charge of knocking that jacka.s.s in the head?
The men grumbled among themselves. Fine, Justice Tate said. That could sure of been self-defense.
Smonk finished his bourbon and tossed the gla.s.s over his shoulder where it shattered against the door. Out slunk Gates"s wife in a short slip. The men started coughing and clearing their throats. She had a brush and a dustpan. Without looking at them, she squatted down and started cleaning up the mess.
Hey, Smonk yelled back at her. Tell these ign.o.ble b.a.s.t.a.r.ds n.o.body didn"t get nothing they didn"t want.
She was sweeping pieces of gla.s.s in the pan. She wouldn"t look up.
Well, demanded Justice of the Peace Tate. Speak up, Lurleen.
He ain"t done nothing I didn"t let him, she mumbled.
Good evening, b.i.t.c.hes, Smonk said.
Gates had awakened a few days after that, perhaps not as sound as he"d once been but alive, and then, a week later, Lurleen Gates had come home claiming Smonk had kidnapped her. She said she"d only gone out in the dark because she didn"t want the other ladies to hear the tongue-lashing she meant to put on old Smonk. Said she was sparing the town. Said Smonk did unmentionable things to her and made her lie. Said if the men of the town didn"t go get him and put his life on trial they were a bunch of lily-livered sad sacks.
Now the blacksmith heard shots from Smonk"s house and hurried to the bay door with the Winchester, stopping to untie the horse and mule for a quick escape. He was glad not to be involved in the actual killing of Smonk because everybody knew killing Smonk would be dern near impossible. He hoped McKissick was up to it. h.e.l.l, he"d rather buy Smonk a drink of licker than kill him. Smonk always had good licker. Or maybe Smonk and McKissick would kill one another and Gates could take them both back and be heralded a hero in Old Texas instead of a cuckolded fool. He hunkered down with the rifle and waited. Or dern. Maybe he wouldn"t go back at all.
Smonk didn"t like the stars. He didn"t trust them. It felt like they were watching him from higher ground and cover of dark. In years past he"d insisted on rigging a tarp over Ike"s wagon before he could sleep. The tarp made Ike tense and closed-in, and he finally put Smonk out and told him to sleep under the wagon. This had worked and now, as if they were brothers in bunk beds, they talked each night.
I had a dream, Smonk said tonight.
Don"t tell ye dreams, said Ike.
They lay listening to bugs.
Tell me about that shark"s tooth, Smonk said.
I fount it on the beach when I was a youngun, Ike said. On a giant pile of oyster sh.e.l.ls. I couldn"t even close my hand around it it was so big. I showed it to my daddy and he quit drinking long enough to be amazed. He was a drunk and a fisherman. He said it was a great white"s tooth. Then he pa.s.sed out.
In the morning I took the tooth and showed it around. My little buddies. One of em had this magnifying gla.s.s I"d always wanted. It would start fires. When he saw the shark tooth he offered a trade.
Then Daddy woke up and started looking for it. Looked ever where. He come fount me and said where the heck was it and I said traded and he went to whaling on me with a ax handle.
Smonk ashed his cigar. He turned his jug up. He had burlap bags nailed to the sides of the wagon to keep out the starlight and his rifle lay cleaned and oiled alongside him in its sock. He didn"t use a bedroll, the ground better for his hips.
He"d just rolled over onto his back when, beneath him, as if such a phenomenon were natural and nightly, the ground shook, almost gently, whispering the gra.s.s and rocking the stones and squeaking the wagon hinges. Leaves in nearby trees shuddered though the wind had faded with dusk and the bugs went dead and for a moment the night held its breath. Then a great clack of thunder and several after-clacks rumbled the south, behind them.
Adios, plantation, Smonk muttered.
Reckon ye got him? Ike asked.