The matting was worn in the four rustic rooms on the second floor.
"It"s a little large, I have to admit, for just one person." The part.i.tions between the rooms had been taken down, and Komako"s bedding lay small and solitary inside the sliding doors, their paper panels yellowed with age, that separated the rooms from the skirting corridor. Old furniture and tools, evidently the property of the family she lived with, were piled in the far room. Party kimonos hung from pegs along the wall. The whole suggested a fox"s or badger"s lair to Shimamura.
Komako sat down solidly in the slightly raised alcove and offered him the only cushion.
"Bright red." She peered into the mirror. "Am I really so drunk?" She fumbled through the top drawer of the dresser. "Here. My diary."
"As long as this, is it?"
She took up a small figured-paper box filled to the top with a.s.sorted cigarettes.
"I push them up my sleeve or inside my obi when a guest gives them to me, and some of them are a little smashed. They"re clean, though. I make up for wrinkles by having every variety to offer." She stirred up the contents to demonstrate that he could have his choice.
"But I don"t have a match. I don"t need matches now that I"ve stopped smoking."
"It"s all right. How is the sewing?"
"I try to work at it, but the guests for the maple leaves keep me busy." She turned to put away the sewing that lay in front of the dresser.
The fine-grained chest of drawers and the expensive vermilion-lacquered sewing-box, relics perhaps of her years in Tokyo, were as they had been in the attic that so resembled an old paper box; but they seemed sadly out of place in these dilapidated second-floor rooms.
A thin string ran from Komako"s pillow to the ceiling.
"I turn the light out with this when I"m reading." She tugged at the string. Gentle and subdued, the proper housewife again, she was not quite able even so to hide her discomposure.
"Lonely as the fox"s lady out at night, aren"t you."
"I really am."
"And do you mean to live here four years?"
"But it"s going on a year already. It won"t be long."
Shimamura was nervous. He thought he could hear the breathing of the family below, and he had run out of things to talk about. He stood up to leave.
Komako slid the door half shut behind him. She glanced up at the sky. "It"s beginning to look like snow. The end of the maple leaves." She recited a line of poetry as she stepped outside: "Here in our mountains, the snow falls even on the maple leaves."
"Well, good night."
"Wait. I"ll see you back to the hotel. As far as the door, no farther."
But she followed him inside.
"Go on to bed." She slipped away, and a few minutes later she was back with two gla.s.ses filled to the brim with sake.
"Drink," she ordered as she stepped into the room. "We"re going to have a drink."
"But aren"t they asleep? Where did you find it?"
"I know where they keep it." She had quite obviously had herself a drink as she poured from the vat. The earlier drunkenness had come back. With narrowed eyes, she watched the sake spill over on her hand. "It"s no fun, though, swallowing the stuff down in the dark."
Shimamura drank meekly from the cup that was thrust at him.
It was not usual for him to get drunk on so little; but perhaps he was chilled from the walk. He began to feel sick. His head was whirling, and he could almost see himself going pale. He closed his eyes and fell back on the quilt. Komako put her arms around him in alarm. A childlike feeling of security came to him from the warmth of her body.
She seemed ill at ease, like a young woman, still childless, who takes a baby up in her arms. She raised her head and looked down, as at the sleeping child.
"You"re a good girl."
"Why? Why am I good? What"s good about me?"
"You"re a good girl."
"Don"t tease me. It"s wrong of you." She looked aside, and she spoke in broken phrases, like little blows, as she rocked him back and forth.
She laughed softly to herself.
"I"m not good at all. It"s not easy having you here. You"d best go home. Each time I come to see you I want to put on a new kimono, and now I have none left. This one is borrowed. So you see I"m not really good at all."
Shimamura did not answer.
"And what do you find good in me?" Her voice was a little husky. "The first day I met you I thought I had never seen anyone I disliked more. People just don"t say the sort of things you said. I hated you."
Shimamura nodded.
"Oh? You understand then why I"ve not mentioned it before? When a woman has to say these things, she has gone as far as she can, you know."
"But it"s all right."
"Is it?" They were silent for some moments. Komako seemed to be looking back on herself, and the awareness of a woman"s being alive came to Shimamura in her warmth.
"You"re a good woman."
"How am I good?"
"A good woman."
"What an odd person." Her face was hidden from him, as though she were rubbing her jaw against an itching shoulder. Then suddenly, Shimamura had no idea why, she raised herself angrily to an elbow.
"A good woman-what do you mean by that? What do you mean?"
He only stared at her.
"Admit it. That"s why you came to see me. You were laughing at me. You were laughing at me after all."
She glared at him, scarlet with anger. Her shoulders were shaking. But the flush receded as quickly as it had come, and tears were falling over her blanched face.
"I hate you. How I hate you." She rolled out of bed and sat with her back to him.
Shimamura felt a stabbing in his chest as he saw what the mistake had been. He lay silent, his eyes closed.
"It makes me very sad," she murmured to herself. Her head was on her knees, and her body was bent into a tight ball.
When she had wept herself out, she sat jabbing at the floor mat with a silver hair-ornament. Presently she slipped from the room.
Shimamura could not bring himself to follow her. She had reason to feel hurt.
But soon she was back, her bare feet quiet in the corridor. "Are you going for a bath?" she called from outside the door. It was a high, thin little voice.
"If you want."
"I"m sorry. I"ve reconsidered."
She showed no sign of coming in. Shimamura picked up his towel and stepped into the hall. She walked ahead of him with her eyes on the floor, like a criminal being led away. As the bath warmed her, however, she became strangely gay and winsome, and sleep was out of the question.
The next morning Shimamura awoke to a voice reciting a N play.
He lay for a time listening. Kamoko turned and smiled from the mirror.
"The guests in the Plum Room. I was called there after my first party. Remember?"
"A N club out on a trip?"
"Yes."
"It snowed?"
"Yes." She got up and threw open the sliding door in front of the window. "No more maple leaves."
From the gray sky, framed by the window, the snow floated toward them in great flakes, like white peonies. There was something quietly unreal about it. Shimamura stared with the vacantness that comes from lack of sleep.
The N reciters had taken out a drum.
He remembered the snowy morning toward the end of the year before, and glanced at the mirror. The cold peonies floated up yet larger, cutting a white outline around Komako. Her kimono was open at the neck, and she was wiping at her throat with a towel.
Her skin was as clean as if it had just been laundered. He had not dreamed that she was a woman who would find it necessary to take offense at such a trivial remark, and that very fact lent her an irresistible sadness.
The mountains, more distant each day as the russet of the autumn leaves had darkened, came brightly back to life with the snow.
The cedars, under a thin coating of snow, rose sheer from the white ground to the sky, each cut off sharply from the rest.
The thread was spun in the snow, and the cloth woven in the snow, washed in the snow, and bleached in the snow. Everything, from the first spinning of the thread to the last finishing touches, was done in the snow. "There is Chijimi linen because there is snow," someone wrote long ago. "Snow is the mother of Chijimi."
The Chijimi gra.s.s-linen of this snow country was the handwork of the mountain maiden through the long, s...o...b..und winters. Shimamura searched for the cloth in old-clothes shops to use for summer kimonos. Through acquaintances in the dance world, he had found a shop that specialized in old N robes, and he had a standing order that when a good piece of Chijimi came in he was to see it.
In the old days, it is said, the early Chijimi fair was held in the spring, when the snow had melted and the snow blinds were taken down from the houses. People came from far and near to buy Chijimi, even wholesalers from the great commercial cities, Edo, Nagoya, and Osaka; and the inns at which they stayed were fixed by tradition. Since the labors of half a year were on display, youths and maidens gathered from all the mountain villages. Sellers" booths and buyers" booths were lined up side by side, and the market took on the air of a festival. With prizes awarded for the best pieces of weaving, it came also to be sort of compet.i.tion for husbands. The girls learned to weave as children, and they turned out their best work between the ages of perhaps fourteen and twenty-four. As they grew older they lost the touch that gave tone to the finest Chijimi. In their desire to be numbered among the few outstanding weavers, they put their whole labor and love into this product of the long s...o...b..und months-the months of seclusion and boredom, between October, under the old lunar calender, when the spinning began, and mid-February of the following year, when the last bleaching was finished.
There may have been among Shimamura"s kimonos one or more woven by these mountain maidens toward the middle of the last century.
He still sent his kimonos back for "snow-bleaching." It was a great deal of trouble to return old kimonos-that had touched the skin of he could not know whom-for rebleaching each year to the country that had produced them; but when he considered the labors of those mountain maidens, he wanted the bleaching to be done properly in the country where the maidens had lived. The thought of the white linen, spread out on the deep snow, the cloth and the snow glowing scarlet in the rising sun, was enough to make him feel that the dirt of the summer had been washed away, even that he himself had been bleached clean. It must be added, however, that a Tokyo shop took care of the details for him, and he had no way of knowing that the bleaching had really been done in the old manner.
From ancient times there were houses that specialized in bleaching. The weavers for the most part did not do their own. White Chijimi was spread out on the snow after it was woven, colored Chijimi bleached on frames while still in thread. The bleaching season came in January and February under the lunar calendar, and snow-covered fields and gardens were the bleaching grounds.
The cloth or thread was soaked overnight in ash water. The next morning it was washed over and over again, wrung, and put out to bleach. The process was repeated day after day, and the sight when, as the bleaching came to an end, the rays of the rising sun turned the white Chijimi blood-red was quite beyond description, Shimamura had read in an old book. It was something to be shown to natives of warmer provinces. And the end of the bleaching was a sign that spring was coming to the snow country.
The land of the Chijimi was very near this hot spring, just down the river, where the valley began to widen out. Indeed it must almost have been visible from Shimamura"s window. All of the Chijimi market towns now had railway stations, and the region was still a well-known weaving center.
Since Shimamura had never come to the snow country in midsummer, when he wore Chijimi, or in the snowy season, when it was woven, he had never had occasion to talk of it to Komako; and she hardly seemed the person to ask about the fate of an old folk art.
When he heard the song Yoko sang in the bath, it had come to him that, had she been born long ago, she might have sung thus as she worked over her spools and looms, so exactly suited to the fancy was her voice.
The thread of the gra.s.s-linen, finer than animal hair, is difficult to work except in the humidity of the snow, it is said, and the dark, cold season is therefore ideal for weaving. The ancients used to add that the way this product of the cold has of feeling cool to the skin in the hottest weather is a play of the principles of light and darkness. This Komako too, who had so fastened herself to him, seemed at center cool, and the remarkable, concentrated warmth was for that fact all the more touching.
But this love would leave behind it nothing so definite as a piece of Chijimi. Though cloth to be worn is among the most short-lived of craftworks, a good piece of Chijimi, if it has been taken care of, can be worn quite unfaded a half-century and more after weaving. As Shimamura thought absently how human intimacies have not even so long a life, the image of Komako as the mother of another man"s children suddenly floated into his mind. He looked around, startled. Possibly he was tired.
He had stayed so long that one might wonder whether he had forgotten his wife and children. He stayed not because he could not leave Komako nor because he did not want to. He had simply fallen into the habit of waiting for those frequent visits. And the more continuous the a.s.sault became, the more he began to wonder what was lacking in him, what kept him from living as completely. He stood gazing at his own coldness, so to speak. He could not understand how she had so lost herself. All of Komako came to him, but it seemed that nothing went out from him to her. He heard in his chest, like snow piling up, the sound of Komako, an echo beating against empty walls. And he knew that he could not go on pampering himself forever.
He leaned against the brazier, provided against the coming of the snowy season, and thought how unlikely it was that he would come again once he had left. The innkeeper had lent him an old Kyoto teakettle, skillfully inlaid in silver with flowers and birds, and from it came the sound of wind in the pines. He could make out two pine breezes, as a matter of fact, a near one and a far one. Just beyond the far breeze he heard faintly the tinkling of a bell. He put his ear to the kettle and listened. Far away, where the bell tinkled on, he suddenly saw Komako"s feet, tripping in time with the bell. He drew back. The time had come to leave.
He thought of going to see the Chijimi country. That excursion might set him on his way toward breaking away from this hot spring.
He did not know at which of the towns downstream he should get off the train. Not interested in modern weaving centers, he chose a station that looked suitably lonesome and backward. After walking for a time he came out on what seemed to be the main street of an old post town.
The eaves pushing out far beyond the houses were supported by pillars along both sides of the street, and in their shade were pa.s.sages for communication when the snow was deep, rather like the open lean- to the old Edo shopkeeper used for displaying his wares. With deep eaves on one side of each house, the pa.s.sages stretched on down the street.
Since the houses were joined in a solid block, the snow from the roofs could only be thrown down into the street. One might more accurately say that at its deepest the snow was thrown not down but up, to a high bank of snow in the middle of the street. Tunnels were cut through for pa.s.sage from one side to the other.
The houses in Komako"s hot-spring village, for all of its being a part of this same snow country, were separated by open s.p.a.ces, and this was therefore the first time Shimamura had seen the snow pa.s.sages. He tried walking in one of them. The shade under the old eaves was dark, and the leaning pillars were beginning to rot at their bases. He walked along looking into the houses as into the gloom where generation after generation of his ancestors had endured the long snows.
He saw that the weaver maidens, giving themselves up to their work here under the snow, had lived lives far from as bright and fresh as the Chijimi they made. With an allusion to a Chinese poem, Shimamura"s old book had pointed out that in harsh economic terms the making of Chijimi was quite impractical, so great was the expenditure of effort that went into even one piece. It followed that none of the Chijimi houses had been able to hire weavers from outside.
The nameless workers, so diligent while they lived, had presently died, and only the Chijimi remained, the plaything of men like Shimamura, cool and fresh against the skin in the summer. This rather unremarkable thought struck him as most remarkable. The labor into which a heart has poured its whole love-where will it have its say, to excite and inspire, and when?
Like the old post road that was its ancestor, the main street ran without a curve through the straggling village, and no doubt on through Komako"s hot spring. The roofs, with rows of stones to weigh down their shingles, were very much like the ones he already knew.
The pillars supporting the deep eaves cast dim shadows across the ground. With his hardly having noticed, afternoon had drawn on toward evening.
There was nothing more to see. He took a train to another village, very much like the first. Again he walked about for a time. Feeling a little chilly, he stopped for a bowl of noodles.
The noodle shop stood beside a river, probably the river that flowed past the hot spring. Shaven-headed Buddhist nuns were crossing a bridge in twos and threes to the far side. All wore rough straw sandals, and some had dome-shaped straw hats tied to their backs. Evidently on their way from a service, they looked like crows hurrying home to their nests.
"Quite a procession of them," Shimamura said to the woman who kept the shop.
"There"s a nunnery up in the hills. I suppose they"re getting everything done now. It will be next to impossible for them to go out once the heavy snows begin."
The mountain beyond the bridge, growing dark in the twilight, was already covered with snow.
In this snow country, cold, cloudy days succeed one another as the leaves fall and the winds grow chilly. Snow is in the air. The high mountains near and far become white in what the people of the country call "the round of the peaks." Along the coast the sea roars, and inland the mountains roar-"the roaring at the center," like a distant clap of thunder. The round of the peaks and the roaring at the center announce that the snows are not far away. This too Shimamura had read in his old book.