"It"s daylight. I"m going home."
Shimamura glanced up at her, and immediately lowered his head. The white in the depths of the mirror was the snow, and floating in the middle of it were the woman"s bright red cheeks. There was an indescribably fresh beauty in the contrast.
Was the sun already up? The brightness of the snow was more intense, it seemed to be burning icily. Against it, the woman"s hair became a clearer black, touched with a purple sheen.
Probably to keep snow from piling up, the water from the baths was led around the walls of the inn by a makeshift ditch, and in front of the entrance it spread out like a shallow spring. A powerful black dog stood on the stones by the doorway lapping at the water. Skis for the hotel guests, probably brought out from a storeroom, were lined up to dry, and the faint smell of mildew was sweetened by the steam. The snow that had fallen from the cedar branches to the roof of the public bath was breaking down into something warm and shapeless.
By the end of the year, that road would be shut off from sight by the snowstorms. She would have to go to her parties in long rubber boots with baggy "mountain trousers" over her kimono, and she would have a cape pulled around her and a veil over her face. The snow would by then be ten feet deep-the woman had looked down on the steep road from the window of the inn, high on a hill, before daybreak this morning, and now Shimamura was walking down the same road. Diapers hung high beside the road to dry. Under them stretched the vista of the Border Range, the snow on its peaks glowing softly. The green onions in the garden patches were not yet buried in the snow.
Children of the village were skiing in the fields.
As he started into the part of the village that fronted on the highway, he heard a sound as of quiet rain.
Little icicles glistened daintily along the eaves.
"While you"re at it, would you mind shoveling a little from ours?" Dazzled by the bright light, a woman on her way back from the bath wiped at her forehead with a damp towel as she looked up at a man shoveling snow from a roof. A waitress, probably, who had drifted into the village a little in advance of the skiing season. Next door was a cafe with a sagging roof, its painted window flaking with age.
Rows of stones held down the shingles with which most of the houses along the street were roofed. Only on the side exposed to the sun did the round stones show their black surfaces, less a moist black from the melting snow than an ink-stone black, beaten away at by icy wind and storm. The houses were of a kind with the dark stones on their roofs. The low eaves hugging the ground seemed to have in them the very essence of the north country.
Children were breaking off chunks of ice from the drains and throwing them down in the middle of the road. It was no doubt the sparkle of the ice as it went flying off into bits that enchanted them so. Shimamura, standing in the sunlight, found it hard to believe that the ice could be so thick. He stopped for a moment to watch.
A girl of twelve or thirteen stood knitting apart from the rest, her back against a stone wall. Under the baggy "mountain trousers," her feet were bare but for sandals, and Shimamura could see that the soles were red and cracked from the cold. A girl of perhaps two stood on a bundle of firewood beside her patiently holding a ball of yarn. Even the faded, ashen line of reclaimed yarn from the younger girl to the older seemed warmly aglow.
He could hear a carpenter"s plane in a ski shop seven or eight doors down the street. Five or six geisha were talking under the eaves opposite. Among them, he was sure, would be the woman, Komako-he had just that morning learned her geisha name from a maid at the inn. And indeed, there she was. She had apparently noticed him. The deadly serious expression on her face set her off from the others. She would of course flush scarlet, but if she could at least pretend that nothing had happened-before Shimamura had time to go further with his thoughts, he saw that she had flushed to the throat. She might better have looked away, but her head turned little by little to follow him, while her eyes were fixed on the ground in acute discomfort.
Shimamura"s cheeks too were aflame. He walked briskly by, and immediately Komako came after him.
"You mustn"t. You embarra.s.s me, walking by at a time like this."
"I embarra.s.s you-you think I"m not embarra.s.sed myself, with all of you lined up to waylay me? I could hardly make myself walk past. Is it always this way?"
"Yes, I suppose so. In the afternoon."
"But I"d think you"d be even more embarra.s.sed, turning bright red and then chasing after me."
"What difference does it make?" The words were clear and definite, but she was blushing again. She stopped and put her arm around a persimmon tree beside the road. "I ran after you because I thought I might ask you to come by my house."
"Is your house near here?"
"Very near."
"I"ll come if you"ll let me read your diary."
"I"m going to burn my diary before I die."
"But isn"t there a sick man in your house?"
"How did you know?"
"You were at the station to meet him yesterday. You had on a dark-blue cape. I was sitting near him on the train. And there was a woman with him, looking after him, as gentle as she could be. His wife? Or someone who went from here to bring him home? Or someone from Tokyo? She was exactly like a mother. I was very much impressed."
"Why didn"t you say so last night? Why were you so quiet?" Something had upset her.
"His wife?"
Komako did not answer. "Why didn"t you say anything last night? What a strange person you are."
Shimamura did not like this sharpness. Nothing he had done and nothing that had happened seemed to call for it, and he wondered if something basic in the woman"s nature might not be coming to the surface. Still, when she came at him the second time, he had to admit that he was being hit in a vulnerable spot. This morning, as he glanced at Komako in that mirror reflecting the mountain snow, he had of course thought of the girl in the evening train window. Why then had he said nothing?
"It doesn"t matter if there is a sick man. No one ever comes to my room." Komako went in through an opening in a low stone wall.
To the right was a small field, and to the left persimmon trees stood along the wall that marked off the neighboring plot. There seemed to be a flower garden in front of the house, and red carp were swimming in the little lotus pond. The ice had been broken away and lay piled along the bank. The house was old and decayed, like the pitted trunk of a persimmon. There were patches of snow on the roof, the rafters of which sagged to draw a wavy line at the eaves.
The air in the earthen-floored hallway was still and cold. Shimamura was led up a ladder before his eyes had become accustomed to the darkness. It was a ladder in the truest sense of the word, and the room at the top was an attic.
"This is the room the silkworms used to live in. Are you surprised?"
"You"re lucky you"ve never fallen downstairs, drinking the way you do."
"I have. But generally when I"ve had too much to drink I crawl into the kotatsu downstairs and go off to sleep." She pushed her hand tentatively into the kotatsu, then went below for charcoal. Shimamura looked around at the curious room. Although there was but one low window, opening to the south, the freshly changed paper on the door turned off the rays of the sun brightly. The walls had been industriously pasted over with rice paper, so that the effect was rather like the inside of an old-fashioned paper box; but overhead was only the bare roof sloping down toward the window, as if a dark loneliness had settled itself over the room. Wondering what might be on the other side of the wall, Shimamura had the uneasy feeling that he was suspended in a void. But the walls and the floor, for all their shabbiness, were spotlessly clean.
For a moment he was taken with the fancy that the light must pa.s.s through Komako, living in the silkworms" room, as it pa.s.sed through the translucent silkworms.
The kotatsu was covered with a quilt of the same rough, striped cotton material as the standard "mountain trousers." The chest of drawers was old, but the grain of the wood was fine and straight-perhaps it was a relic of Komako"s years in Tokyo. It was badly paired with a cheap dresser, while the vermilion sewing-box gave off the luxurious glow of good lacquer. The boxes stacked along the wall behind a thin woolen curtain apparently served as bookshelves.
The kimono of the evening before hung on the wall, open to show the brilliant red under-kimono.
Komako came spryly up the ladder with a supply of charcoal.
"It"s from the sickroom. But you needn"t worry. They say fire spreads no germs." Her newly dressed hair almost brushed the kotatsu as she stirred away at the coals. The music teacher"s son had intestinal tuberculosis, she said, and had come home to die.
But it was not entirely accurate to say that he had "come home." He had as a matter of fact not been born here. This was his mother"s home. His mother had taught dancing down on the coast even when she was no longer a geisha, but she had had a stroke while she was still in her forties, and had come back to this hot spring to recover. The son, fond of machinery since he was a child, had stayed behind to work in a watch-shop. Presently he moved to Tokyo and started going to night school, and the strain was evidently too much for him. He was only twenty-five.
All this Komako told him with no hesitation, but she said nothing about the girl who had brought the man home, and nothing about why she herself was in this house.
Shimamura felt most uncomfortable at what she did say, however. Suspended there in the void, she seemed to be broadcasting to the four directions.
As he stepped from the hallway, he saw something faintly white through the corner of his eye. It was a samisen box, and it struck him as larger and longer than it should be. He found it hard to imagine her carrying so unwieldy an object to parties. The darkened door inside the hallway slid open.
"Do you mind if I step over this, Komako?" It was that clear voice, so beautiful that it was almost sad. Shimamura waited for an echo to come back.
It was Yoko"s voice, the voice that had called out over the snow to the station master the night before.
"No, please go ahead." Yoko stepped lightly over the samisen box, a gla.s.s chamber-pot in her hand.
It was clear, from the familiar way she had talked to the station master the evening before and from the way she wore "mountain trousers," that she was a native of this snow country, but the bold pattern of her obi, half visible over the trousers, made the rough russet and black stripes of the latter seem fresh and cheerful, and for the same reason the long sleeves of her woolen kimono took on a certain voluptuous charm. The trousers, split just below the knees, filled out toward the hips, and the heavy cotton, for all its natural stiffness, was somehow supple and gentle.
Yoko darted one quick, piercing glance at Shimamura and went silently out over the earthen floor.
Even when he had left the house, Shimamura was haunted by that glance, burning just in front of his forehead. It was cold as a very distant light, for the inexpressible beauty of it had made his heart rise when, the night before, that light off in the mountains had pa.s.sed across the girl"s face in the train window and lighted her eye for a moment. The impression came back to Shimamura, and with it the memory of the mirror filled with snow, and Komako"s red cheeks floating in the middle of it.
He walked faster. His legs were round and plump, but he was seized with a certain abandon as he walked along gazing at the mountains he was so fond of, and his pace quickened, though he hardly knew it. Always ready to give himself up to reverie, he could not believe that the mirror floating over the evening scenery and the other snowy mirror were really works of man. They were part of nature, and part of some distant world.
And the room he had only this moment left had become part of that same distant world.
Startled at himself, in need of something to cling to, he stopped a blind ma.s.seuse at the top of the hill.
"Could you give me a ma.s.sage?"
"Let me see. What time will it be?" She tucked her cane under her arm and, taking a covered pocket watch from her obi, felt at the face with her left hand. "Two thirty-five. I have an appointment over beyond the station at three-thirty. But I suppose it won"t matter if I"m a little late."
"You"re very clever to be able to tell the time."
"It has no gla.s.s, and I can feel the hands."
"You can feel the figures?"
"Not the figures." She took the watch out again, a silver one, large for a woman, and flicked open the lid. She laid her fingers across the face with one at twelve and one at six, and a third halfway between at three. "I can tell the time fairly well. I may be a minute off one way or the other, but I never miss by as much as two minutes."
"You don"t find the road a little slippery?"
"When it rains my daughter comes to call for me. At night I take care of the people in the village, and never come up this far. The maids at the inn are always joking and saying its because my husband won"t let me go out at night."
"Your children are growing up?"
"The oldest girl is twelve." They had reached Shimamura"s room, and they were silent for a time as the ma.s.saging began. The sound of a samisen came to them from the distance.
"Who would that be, I wonder."
"You can always tell which geisha it is by the tone?"
"I can tell some of them. Some I can"t. You must not have to work. Feel how nice and soft you are."
"No stiff muscles on me."
"A little stiff here at the base of the neck. But you"re just right, not too fat and not too thin. And you don"t drink, do you?"
"You can tell that?"
"I have three other customers with physiques exactly like yours."
"A common sort of physique."
"But when you don"t drink, you don"t know what it is really to enjoy yourself-to forget everything that happens."
"Your husband drinks, does he?"
"Much too much."
"But whoever it is, she"s not much of a musician."
"Very poor indeed."
"Do you play yourself?"
"I did when I was young. From the time I was eight till I was nineteen. I haven"t played in fifteen years now. Not since I was married."
Did all blind people look younger than they were? Shimamura wondered.
"But if you learn when you"re young, you never forget."
"My hands have changed from doing this sort of work, but my ear is still good. It makes me very impatient to hear them playing. But then I suppose I felt impatient at my own playing when I was young." She listened for a time. "Fumi at the Izutsuya, maybe. The best ones and the worst are the easiest to tell."
"There are good ones?"
"Komako is very good. She"s young, but she"s improved a great deal lately."
"Really?"
"You know her, don"t you? I say she"s good, but you have to remember that our standards here in the mountains are not very high."
"I don"t really know her. I was on the train with the music teacher"s son last night, though."
"He"s well again?"
"Apparently not."
"Oh? He"s been sick for a long time in Tokyo, and they say it was to help pay the doctors" bills that Komako became a geisha last summer. I wonder if it did any good."
"Komako, you say?"
"They were only engaged. But I suppose you feel better afterwards if you"ve done everything you can."
"She was engaged to him?"
"So they say. I don"t really know, but that"s the rumor."
It was almost too ordinary a thing to hear gossip about geisha from the hot-spring ma.s.seuse, and that fact had the perverse effect of making the news the more startling; and Komako"s having become a geisha to help her fiance was so ordinary a bit of melodrama that he found himself almost refusing to accept it. Perhaps certain moral considerations-questions of the propriety of selling oneself as a geisha-helped the refusal.
Shimamura was beginning to think he would like to go deeper into the story, but the ma.s.seuse was silent.
If Komako was the man"s fiancee, and Yoko was his new lover, and the man was going to die-the expression "wasted effort" again came into Shimamura"s mind. For Komako thus to guard her promise to the end, for her even to sell herself to pay doctors" bills-what was it if not wasted effort?
He would accost her with this fact, he would drive it home, when he saw her again, he said to himself; and yet her existence seemed to have become purer and cleaner for this new bit of knowledge.
Aware of a shameful danger lurking in his numbed sense of the false and empty, he lay concentrating on it, trying to feel it, for some time after the ma.s.seuse left. He was chilled to the pit of his stomach-but someone had left the windows wide open.
The color of evening had already fallen on the mountain valley, early buried in shadows. Out of the dusk the distant mountains, still reflecting the light of the evening sun, seemed to have come much nearer.