"Meet me for lunch?"
"Sure. Where?" She needed to get away. Once she"d written down the details, she hightailed it for the Robuchon limo.
They met at Melina"s favorite sushi restaurant in Neartown. Toni was glad to get out of the office for a while, even if just for lunch. She needed to clear her head. Get away from Fabian and what they had revealed to each other. It was tragic and sad. She wondered if there was any hope for either of them. No hope for her, she mused, thinking on the dinner she would have with Stephan that night. Fabian had hope, she was sure of it. He was not what society painted him to be. He was much more.
"Toni, what"s wrong?" Melina was reading her thoughts again.
Toni returned to reality, eyeing the gla.s.s of water-and waiter-in front of her. "Huh?"
Her friend narrowed her gaze and asked the waiter for a few more minutes. "Are you okay? You look like something"s wrong."
Statement of the year. A lot was wrong that she didn"t know how to begin to fix it. She cleared her throat, taking a sip of the ice cold water. Too cold. She shivered after. "Yeah ... it"s been a weird morning. But I"m okay." The feigned smile physically hurt her face.
"I was saying how I missed you on Sat.u.r.day at brunch." Melina placed both elbows on the table.
"Oh, right." Toni had forgotten about that. An eternity of things had been stuffed into the span of four days. Sat.u.r.day seemed like ages ago. "I just wasn"t feeling well. Too much champagne I guess."
"You hardly had anything at the bar, though..."
Toni laid the cloth napkin over her thighs. She"d worn white slim pants that day, would be a shame to get dirty. "Low tolerance."
Melina"s gaze narrowed again. "I guess..." She looked down to her menu, closing it not a few seconds later. "I know what I want."
"Me too," Toni said, though she hadn"t looked at the menu.
Melina smiled and toyed with her own cloth napkin until the waiter came back to take their order. She fixed her gaze on Toni, who"d held her breath. "The guys and I thought you and Fabian left together on Friday."
"Well, we didn"t!" Toni"s body sizzled. Some patrons glanced their way. Attempting to regain her cool, Toni pushed a stray tendril behind her ear. "What guys are you talking about?" She knew what guys.
"Ty and those guys."
Toni sat back in her seat. "Oh..."
"I was with them when the whole ... thing happened."
Toni averted her gaze. "What thing?" She knew d.a.m.n well what thing. Stop being an idiot.
Melina"s eyebrow lifted. "Really?"
d.a.m.n Melina. Toni shrugged. What else could she do? "Okay ... fine. Yes, it was a bad situation. Stephan showed up again, drunk, and tried to win me back. Though, I use that phrase loosely." Stephan thought he had the right to take anything he wanted.
"What do you mean again?"
She sighed. Any other subject would be better than talk about Stephan. "He showed up at the office. He ran into Fabian at a restaurant and heard he was my a.s.sistant."
"Son of a b.i.t.c.h." Melina pressed her lips together. "He has a lot of nerve showing up after all the c.r.a.p he put you through."
"He"s insufferable." The heat spread over her face with her growing anger.
"So, let me get this straight. He doesn"t want you, but he doesn"t want anyone else to have you. Especially someone hot and rich like Fabian."
"There"s no having going on here. Fabian just helped me out of a bind. That"s all." Convincing Melina would be hard. Harder would be to convince herself.
"Okay," Melina started slowly. "But then you and Fabian were b.u.mping and grinding on the dance floor. What was that about?"
Toni looked away, biting the insides of her cheek.
"Oh, my G.o.d. You really do like Fabian." Melina"s voice rose an octave.
Toni met her gaze.
"That"s crazy." She played with her wooden chopsticks. Several beats pa.s.sed before she continued. "And if I did ...well, it just wouldn"t work out anyway."
"He"s not with Camille. I don"t think he"s with anyone right now."
Toni shook her head, remembering her conversation with him earlier, and knew the words she was about to say were wrong. "He"s with everyone. I wouldn"t want to be just another woman to him."
"But you want to be something?" Melina beamed.
"No, I don"t want to be anything." Wrong again. Luckily, the waiter brought their seaweed salads. Toni stuffed her mouth to keep quiet. Conversation finally over.
Chapter Thirteen.
Toni didn"t talk to Fabian the rest of the day. In fact, she"d closed and locked her office door. Honestly, he didn"t mind. His own door would have been closed too, but she never entered his office anyway. Over and over, he replayed their revelations to each other. Where the admission came from, he couldn"t guess. It must have always been inside of him, but he"d failed to see it. He needed to talk to someone.
Fabian reached for his cell phone, scrolling until he found the one person who he could always be honest with.
Fabian: Can we meet for a drink tonight?
The response was immediate.
SweetTina: Of course. I"m at the restaurant tonight. Meet me there at 8ish?
Fabian: See you then.
At seven-forty-five in the evening, he showed up at L"Atelier where Martina-Sweet Tina-worked as a pastry chef. She"d gotten off early and joined him for drinks at the bar overlooking the ma.s.sive indoor aquarium with exotic bright colored fish and other odd sea creatures.
"What"s that?" Fabian pointed to an eggplant-shaped thing with bright tentacles flaring out.
Martina laughed, taking a sip of her gin martini. "That"s what you call a sea cuc.u.mber." From the corner of his eye, he knew she was staring at him. He didn"t care, though, only continued to drink the same expensive scotch he always did. A light sigh sounded from her lips. "You don"t seem okay."
His gaze fell to the bottom of his old fashioned gla.s.s. He stared hard into the amber liquid, trying to see the future in the scotch like a fortune-teller. But he certainly wasn"t a fortune-teller. Without looking at her, he asked, "What do you think of me?"
She laughed at first, but it faded when she realized he was serious. Her fingers wrapped around his elbow. "What do you mean what do I think of you?"
"Do you think I"m a p.r.i.c.k?" He finally met her gaze. "An a.s.shole? A player?" He took a heavier sip that time and continued. "Do you think I use women for s.e.x and break their hearts?"
Martina"s mouth opened, and quickly closed. Confusion colored her face pink. He"d asked a big question. Had no idea if he would get an honest answer, but he was ready to hear the truth. She gulped, but not before she removed her hand from his elbow. "You"ve always been upfront with me about what you want. So, I wouldn"t say you"re an a.s.shole or a p.r.i.c.k."
"That"s not really my question, is it?" He was too harsh. Didn"t mean to be. His gaze dropped back to his gla.s.s of scotch. "I"m sorry."
"Is it Camille?" Martina asked quietly. She"d known about Camille the whole time and continued to see him anyway. Not the other way around, though. Martina was older than Fabian and was much more mature than the other women he dated. She never placed an expectation on him, which was precisely why she"d stayed in the rotation the longest. "Did she find out about me? Or someone else."
Or someone else. That burned him inside in a way that Martina would never know. "Do you ever think that maybe I might want just one? A one?"
"The one?"
"Maybe." He stared for several seconds into the aquarium again. "My dad wants me to stop womanizing and get serious with Camille. And you know why?" He faced her, only seeing a glint of sadness in her eyes, but nothing else on her face suggested she was affected in any way by what he said.
"Why?" Her voice was soft.
"Because her family has connections." He said it as if it was the worst thing to have. Maybe it was. Maybe he didn"t want someone because of anything they had. "He thinks that our family could benefit from creating a union with an auto dealer empire."
"What do you think?"
He turned back to his drink. "I think I just wanted to f.u.c.k her when it was convenient for me." The words were brusque, but true. He couldn"t face Martina for several seconds after he said them.
Silence. Neither spoke for a while. But when Martina spoke, it was in her usual sweet, non-judgmental tone. "You know I"m here for you..."
He grunted to himself. "I can"t do that anymore, Tina. I just..." Thoughts of Toni beat the walls of his mind. Infiltrated every crevice inside him. "I can"t."
"There"s someone else?" Martina caught on quick, and he loved her calmness. Her acceptance. No other woman had given him that before. "A one?"
He only nodded and tossed back the rest of his scotch, the warm liquid burning his insides all the way down.
"Who is it?"
They locked gazes. "It"s my boss. And I"m probably the worst guy she"s ever met."
Her knee knocked his under the bar. "That"s not true. You"re a wonderful guy. I always enjoy our time together." Fabian knew she was referring to the s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g alone. "Have you tried to get to know her? Without the act I mean. Really know her?"
His ears quirked up. "What act?"
"The "I"m a womanizer and I can make all these women fall in love with me then I"ll reject them because I"m really scared of getting hurt" act."
He sat back against the high stool chair, taking in what she"d just said, and replaying it. It sounded awfully familiar. "Is that what I do?" His words were hollow, just like how he felt inside.
She shrugged. "Just a thought."
"You know what"s funny?" His ability to be so candid at that point surprised him, but he wasn"t afraid of what it all meant. "If I really got to know her and she really got to know me, I bet she could break me."
"Oh, Fabian. That"s ... beautiful." A smile stretched her face.
"That"s f.u.c.king scary."
"I"m afraid that"s what it takes." She sounded somber. A look of longing entered her eyes, as if she knew this with the whole of her heart.
"Even when you seriously have no idea how it will all turn out?"
"Well, handsome, that"s part of the fun." She winked at him, the sparkle finding her hazel eyes again. Always did.
He fell back in his stool. "Doesn"t feel like fun." His twisted insides proved it. Never had he experienced this level of desperation. It was like yearning. Definitely made him feel out of control. He"d always been in control up until now. This wasn"t fun. Not even a little bit. And that feeling of "not feeling like fun" hit him in the face when he got an eyeful of Toni walking in with Stephan from across the bar.
Seriously!
His stomach flopped. Why the h.e.l.l was she with Stephan after everything he did? Fabian shook his head in denial. No way was she really with that jerk. There was just no way she would be with him.
"Fabian?" Martina tugged his clenched arm. "What"s wrong?"
He couldn"t respond. All focus was on Toni. Waiting and willing for her to look his way. "What the h.e.l.l?" he whispered, growing so anxious he thought he"d explode.
The blood boiled in him. What would he do? Where would he look? He had no idea how to feel about seeing her there with another man. Especially when he had to accept that he wanted her and she didn"t want him back.
Walk away. If he didn"t leave, Stephan would be on the floor. If that happened, he would ruin his chances with Toni, if he had one, and ruin his chance to be partner at his dad"s firm.
Just then, Toni"s gaze caught his from across the restaurant. Her eyes grew wide and filled with emotion. Her lips pressed together as her gaze shifted to Stephan. Fabian waited for her to react bigger than that. Stand. Walk to him. Something other than look like a deer caught in a headlight. But she didn"t. In fact, she looked away, ignoring him completely. Stephan had been none the wiser, which Fabian was grateful for. But, he couldn"t stay and watch her with him.
He stood from the stool, a fire ravaging his insides. "I have to go, Tina. Sorry. I"ve... I forgot I have to do something." She didn"t respond to him, or if she had, Fabian didn"t hear. He only heard the blood coursing between his ears until he was outside waiting for the valet to fetch his Bentley. The sounds of lower Montrose grabbed him, making the night seem surreal. How was he supposed to face Toni tomorrow morning when she expected him to deliver her coffee at exactly eight-fifteen and he just wanted to make her his?
Her ribs ached. Toni thought her chest might explode. In her peripheral view, she watched Fabian exit the restaurant with haste. And anger, from what she gathered. He was p.i.s.sed. She knew why. So many thoughts ran through her mind. The battle inside her raged, and for one reason alone. She was affected by him. By what she saw. His reaction to seeing her with Stephan seemed unfounded, yet not. Something was between them. Something she couldn"t deny, even as she watched him leave, willing him to come back. To save her again.
"Love, are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost." Stephan"s overly white smile showed between his perfect lips on his perfectly proportionate tan face. He was a living Ken doll-blond and all-American golden boy. How had she just realized how much she truly hated him?
"Don"t call me that." She twisted the linen cloth over her bare legs. "I"m fine." Major lie. She glanced back to the door, Fabian was out of sight. The need to go after him made her skin itch.
"You didn"t say anything during the car ride over here." He tilted his head. "I have to say, I"m glad it"s just the two of us."
"I"m not," she muttered under her breath.
Stephan chose to ignore her, obviously. "I won"t mention what happened at H Bar with the Pallis kid. I just want to start over. Clean slate. What do you say?"
Was he serious? Did he think he was doing her a favor? A string of curse words formed at the tip of her tongue, but she suppressed the need to unleash them. "I say I can never trust you again." Good start. She shifted in her seat, glancing at her phone.
"Fair enough."
Fair enough? Not even close.
He looked up at the approaching waiter. "We"ll start with a bottle of Krug if you have it."
"We do." The waiter nodded. "Any particular vintage?"