Toni would have kept on her self-defeating pity party thoughts had she not heard a bang on the front door loud enough to penetrate a couple thousand square feet of s.p.a.ce between her bed and the door. What the h.e.l.l?
She bolted up and grabbed the velvet robe slung over the foot of her bed before rushing through her room, the long hallway, and the living room. The sound grew louder. A m.u.f.fled cry of her name came from the other side. She knew who it was without looking through the peephole. And she didn"t know the first thing to do.
"Fabian, what are you doing here?" She barely managed through her dry throat. She glanced at the clock on the opposite wall. "It"s midnight! How did you get up here?" She"d have to have a serious conversation with the concierge.
"Open the door, Toni. Please open the door."
Tears sprung to her eyes from the sheer desperation in his voice-and the sheer desperation growing inside her. "I can"t," she whispered.
"I know about the email." A thump followed his words. Toni imagined his forehead fell against the door. "Tell me why, Toni. Just tell me why."
She dropped her face against the door. Hard heartbeats sounded between her ears. Deep pulses reminded her she was very much alive. And he was very much on the other side of that door. Simply put, she wasn"t ready to tell him why. d.a.m.n Mr. Pallis. She only needed one more night to dream until she had to let Fabian go.
She opened the door fast. Might as well rip off the Band-Aid and do what she needed to do. Everything felt fast. Her eyes adjusting as he came into sight. Her breath sharply dragging in and out of her. Her blood rushing through her veins. Frantic and urgent, it was like a dream with a disorienting haze clouding him and her. But she needed to see him. She needed to fall in his arms as he stood there, broken and looking more gorgeous than he ever had. Her gaze dropped to his lips, the desire to kiss them came fast and hard. Her mouth watered with the hunger of it. In that moment, more than anything, she wanted to feel his lips on hers, opening slowly until their tongues met. Until he infiltrated her in all the ways she needed.
Instead, her words were slow to come. She croaked his name, a sigh reverberating through the s.p.a.ce. "Fabian. Why did you come here? You shouldn"t be here."
"Did you want me to wait until tomorrow for you to completely destroy me?" His green eyes blazed-neon irises contrasted a thick fringe of dark lashes.
"I"m destroyed too, Fabian," she cried, not stepping away from his advances toward her.
"Bulls.h.i.t!"
She didn"t pull away when he grabbed her wrists. "I am, d.a.m.n it!"
"Why did I have to find out from my dad that you"re going to fire me?"
"He wasn"t supposed to tell you." She waved with his movements.
"Irrelevant, Toni." His fingers squeezed, eliciting a gasp from her. Bowing his head, he groaned. "G.o.d, I hate you so much right now, but all I want is to kiss you, G.o.dd.a.m.n it."
Tears stopped all the words from coming again. But she didn"t want to say words to him, the man who was completely falling apart before her-because of her. Pure need catapulted her forward until her lips met his and they were locked in a kiss so pa.s.sionate, her whole world flipped on its side. They kissed like savages starved for months. He reached around her waist, lowering until he cupped her b.u.t.tocks and lifted her off her feet. She yelped, holding his shoulders. Somehow they ended up in her living room, the plush couch against her back.
"I want you, Toni," Fabian murmured against her mouth, palms riding up her sides to the elastic of her panties.
"I want to feel you," she whimpered at the prospect. She widened her legs to accommodate his size. One last time.
Fabian complied, pushing down his jeans, exposing his erection. She lifted her hips, allowing him to slide down her panties until they were skin to skin. He was so hard. Like the tortured look on his face. She was positive she looked tortured too.
In the next breath, he slid inside her, moving against her skin. So many sensations and no way to pinpoint how she felt. Need. Desperation. Full. Her whole body shuddered to take him as deep as she could, clenching so he couldn"t separate from her. It was too hard to think this would be their last time. She pressed her lips against his, opening her mouth so he filled her in every way he could. G.o.d, she loved this man.
"I"m going to miss you," she whispered against his mouth.
"Hmm?" His eyes opened a brief moment. He didn"t hear her, and for that she was half-glad.
"I"m going to come," she said louder, her voice broken with the intensity of her looming o.r.g.a.s.m. And she did. Harder than she"d ever experienced. Hard enough her eyes watered. "Fabian!"
Afterward, they lay against each other on the couch, both breathing heavy from their lovemaking. The silence spoke volumes-for each it was very different. When was she supposed to tell Fabian they couldn"t be together? It was so cruel to do it then, but when wouldn"t it be? She shifted under him.
He laughed. "We need a towel."
She sat up, his hand trailing down her back as she did so. "We need more than that."
"What do you mean?"
Shaking her head, she decided it was time. "We aren"t back together, Fabian. This was just-"
"A goodbye f.u.c.k?" His response roared out of him, scaring her a bit. But when her eyes met his, she knew the pain he felt.
"There"s too many things that are keeping us apart."
"Tell me one," he demanded.
She dropped her head in both hands, rubbing her skin until the urge to breakdown diluted. "I have responsibilities to my family. To my mom. I"m her only child."
"What does that mean?" He pulled her hands from her face. When she didn"t answer, he touched her lips. "Tell me."
"My mom is sick, Fabian. Really sick." Tears trailed down her cheeks. "That"s why I"ve been acting CEO."
He sat up straighter. "What"s wrong with her?"
"She ... she has cancer." Hunching over, she fell to her knees, crying uncontrollably.
"Oh, baby!" Fabian scooped her in his arms, squeezing her until she couldn"t breathe. His words fell on her ears one after the other. "I"m so sorry. What can I do? I"m here for you."
It was too much. She jumped up, breaking the embrace his arms formed around her body. "You can"t be here for me, Fabian. It"s too hard." Grabbing her robe, she slipped it on haphazardly. "I want you so much, but I can"t have you."
He stood, yanking up his pants. "You can have me."
"Don"t you get it?" She balled her fists. "I have to marry Stephan." She gasped at her own statement. Shocked really. And he was more shocked.
Fabian looked as if an expert archer had shot an arrow straight through his heart. Part stunned, part surprised, part pained. Ages slipped between them before he could respond. "Why?"
She wiped her tears and straightened until she stood tall, like a proud soldier. "My mom"s only wish is that Stephan become CEO ... as her son-in-law." His eyes grew wide at the confession. "How can I deny my mom what she wants most?"
"What about what you want most?"
She turned away from his piercing stare. "Please leave now. And don"t come back." He"d followed her to the door. She stood, watching him process the information. Hating herself more and more each second. "You don"t have to come in the office anymore. I"ll have HR terminate your employment in the morning."
Before he walked through the opened door, he asked, "Do you know what love feels like?"
How could she answer that question? "I..."
"I didn"t either. Until you." His gaze dragged down her face before he turned and walked away.
Chapter Twenty-Four.
I know what love is. Fabian"s particular brand of love hurt like a b.i.t.c.h.
He didn"t go into the office on Wednesday. Why go in just to get terminated again? To his face by Toni, no less. No, she wouldn"t do it again. She would appoint the human resources manager to do it. Toni didn"t want to see him again. Of that, he was sure. But she was lying to herself, and she knew it, which made everything all the more frustrating. Still, he didn"t run to his yacht. Didn"t go out on the Gulf to distance himself from what he was feeling. In his condo, he felt every G.o.dd.a.m.n emotion. Writhed in them. Stewed in them until he decided his next move. None of which included giving Toni up that easily.
On Thursday just after lunch, Fabian sat in his Bentley forming his plan. The executives were to meet in thirty minutes and he wanted to be there. He turned on the engine just before his cell phone rang throughout the audio system. Konrad"s face appeared on the navigation screen.
"Kon, what"s the deal?" He turned out of the mixed residential property onto the main street.
"I"ve got some bad news for you, mate," Konrad said, sounding exasperated. He wasn"t one to suggest drama where there was none. Fabian knew it was serious.
Fabian"s stomach dropped. "What?"
Silence throbbed in the air before Konrad"s voice emanated through the speakers. "I was just at the gym and I ran into Bradley." Another beat of silence made Fabian antsy. Konrad continued, "He was waving around this Cartier ring. It was grand, really. Might have been the sum of what"s left in his trust fund-"
"I don"t need a novella."
"All right, then. He"s going to surprise Antonia with a proposal during some big executive meeting at work today."
Fabian squeezed his fingers around the steering wheel tight enough to ache. But that ache wasn"t near the hurt shooting through his chest. "d.a.m.n."
"Sorry to bring you bad news, mate."
"Thanks for telling me. I have to go." Without waiting for his friend to say goodbye, Fabian ended the call, cursing the whole time.
Once he was in the office, he rushed pa.s.sed reception, where Davina greeted him with a smile. Ignoring her, he continued full speed to the conference room where the meeting was scheduled. With a quick glance at his watch, he noted the meeting started fifteen minutes ago. He pushed open the door. He heard the gasps, but all the bodies were blurred, except for Toni who sat low in a chair. Her mouth opened. "This proposal is Toni"s idea, not his." And all the bodies became clear, sharp even. Especially Stephan"s who had been standing next to the projector screen.
"Fabian..." There was relief in Toni"s wide eyes and then disdain. He focused on the relief part. Sitting forward, she glanced nervously at the executives. Based on their expressions, they weren"t sure how to react. "What are you doing here?"
"You can"t marry Stephan." Way to stay calm, man. Apparently, calm wasn"t in his dictionary this morning. Every party of his body sizzled with un-calm.
The crowd inhaled.
She dropped her pen on top of the papers spread over the table and stood. "What?"
"What the h.e.l.l are you doing here, Pallis?" Stephan threw down the laser pointer, advancing toward him.
Fabian braced himself.
"I"m telling the execs you"re a liar. This updated proposal wasn"t your idea." He turned to the execs, who seemed to blend in. "He"s a fraud."
"Okay, we need to call security." Stephan pointed to Toni. "Call the front desk, Antonia. Now."
"Stephan..."
Fabian drew on every bit of energy left inside him to remain still. The urge to charge Stephan was too strong-he could hurt the man if he moved an inch. He didn"t want to do that. Not in front of the executives. Or Toni. Especially not Toni.
"Call now, d.a.m.n it. Don"t question me," Stephan barked. He advanced toward Fabian, sizing him up. Actually, outside of the professional environment, Fabian would a.s.sume Stephan was challenging him to a duel. "Aren"t you supposed to be fired? Didn"t you fire him, Antonia? I saw the email you sent."
Her eyes widened, catching Fabian"s before averting to Stephan"s again. "How did you see that?"
The executives stood then, gathering their papers. One by one they left the room, their expressions ranging from disbelief to scorn. Fabian was only worried about one person, though. Toni. She stood there, her eyes blazing. But he didn"t know if she was furious at him for bursting in the meeting or Stephan for treating her like his personal a.s.sistant.
Stephan tilted his head. "I"m going to be CEO, my love. I see everything."
Toni turned to Fabian, who was gearing himself for action if Stephan continued to speak to Toni in the cra.s.s way he had been. "Fabian, you aren"t employed here anymore. I notified HR of your termination yesterday." Her eyes flickered. "And how dare you barge into this meeting! I can"t believe you did this."
"He shouldn"t take the credit, Toni. This was your idea and I wanted them to know it. I emailed your mother-"
"You what?" Her temper was directed at him then.
"I did. I had to tell her the truth." She was so small standing in front of him, trembling with her emotions. He teetered too. "NeuRx is all you. And this CEO thing could be you, too. I wanted her to know that."
"It"s not your job to do that, Fabian. You"re not my keeper."
"I know!" Fabian ran his fingers through his hair. "Your mother didn"t respond anyway. She probably didn"t even see it."
"But I did, Mr. Pallis."
The thick, raspy voice broke the tension between him and Toni. He turned toward the back of the room, catching Helene Robuchon"s icy gaze as she sat in a wheelchair in the corner.
"Helene..."
"That"s Mrs. Robuchon, soon to be my mother-in-law. Have some respect." Stephan stepped closer. Clearly, he didn"t like Toni so close to Fabian.
Fabian ignored him. "I didn"t see you there."
"Why are you here, Mr. Pallis? Outside of completely ruining an executive meeting and embarra.s.sing yourself and subsequently your father."
"I"m here for Toni." Fabian reached for her, taking her hand for only a second before it was s.n.a.t.c.hed from him.
Dark eyes met Fabian"s. "Get your hands off my fiancee!" Stephan grabbed Toni like a rag doll, pulling her into him.
"I am not your fiancee." Toni"s sharp voice cut through the air, surprising all of them.
"She deserves better than you," Fabian said with a clenched jaw and a tone he didn"t fully recognize himself.
Stephan tossed his head back, a laugh billowing out of him. He"d contained himself enough to pose a question with more humor than Fabian cared for. "And why would you think someone like Antonia would ever want someone like you?"
Fabian shifted his gaze to Toni"s, meeting hers like a magnet. Her lips parted, and the crease between her eyebrows spoke of the turmoil inside. But it wasn"t Fabian who answered, it was Toni. She broke free of Stephan"s grasp, slipping a hand through her loose sleek hair. Her jaw set firm and eyes narrowed like she always looked at Fabian before she could admit she wanted him.
"Because I do want him." Her proclamation vibrated in the s.p.a.ce. "I will never marry you, Stephan. Never."
"What?" Stephan gasped. He glanced to Fabian who was still ready to pounce if he made one wrong move.
"Yes." She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "You heard me."