The Corporal was lying at full length in the dust of the parade-ground, a rifle under him. Some of the less-cautious men in the distance shouted: "Shoot "im! Shoot "im, Slane!"
"You move "and or foot, Slane," said Simmons, "an" I"ll kick Jerry Blazes" "ead in, and shoot you after."
"I ain"t movin"," said the Corporal, raising his head; "you daren"t "it a man on "is legs. Let go o" Jerry Blazes an" come out o" that with your fistes. Come an" "it me. You daren"t, you bloomin" dog-shooter!"
"I dare."
"You lie, you man-sticker. You sneakin" Sheeny butcher, you lie. See there!" Slane kicked the rifle away, and stood up in the peril of his life. "Come on, now!"
The temptation was more than Simmons could resist, for the Corporal in his white clothes offered a perfect mark.
"Don"t misname me," shouted Simmons, firing as he spoke. The shot missed, and the shooter, blind with rage, threw his rifle down and rushed at Slane from the protection of the well. Within striking distance, he kicked savagely at Slane"s stomach, but the weedy Corporal knew something of Simmons"s weakness, and knew, too, the deadly guard for that kick. Bowing forward and drawing up his right leg till the heel of the right foot was set some three inches above the inside of the left knee-cap, he met the blow standing on one leg--exactly as Gonds stand when they meditate--and ready for the fall that would follow. There was an oath, the Corporal fell over to his own left as shinbone met shinbone, and the Private collapsed, his right leg broken an inch above the ankle.
""Pity you don"t know that guard, Sim," said Slane, spitting out the dust as he rose. Then raising his voice--"Come an" take him orf.
I"ve bruk "is leg." This was not strictly true, for the Private had accomplished his own downfall, since it is the special merit of that leg-guard that the harder the kick the greater the kicker"s discomfiture.
Slane walked to Jerry Blazes and hung over him with ostentatious anxiety, while Simmons, weeping with pain, was carried away. ""Ope you ain"t "urt badly, Sir," said Slane. The Major had fainted, and there was an ugly, ragged hole through the top of his arm. Slane knelt down and murmured: "S"elp me, I believe "e"s dead. Well, if that ain"t my blooming luck all over!"
But the Major was destined to lead his Battery afield for many a long day with unshaken nerve. He was removed, and nursed and petted into convalescence, while the Battery discussed the wisdom of capturing Simmons, and blowing him from a gun. They idolised their Major, and his reappearance on parade brought about a scene nowhere provided for in the Army Regulations.
Great, too, was the glory that fell to Slane"s share. The Gunners would have made him drunk thrice a day for at least a fortnight. Even the Colonel of his own regiment complimented him upon his coolness, and the local paper called him a hero. These things did not puff him up. When the Major offered him money and thanks, the virtuous Corporal took the one and put aside the other. But he had a request to make and prefaced it with many a "Beg y" pardon, Sir." Could the Major see his way to letting the Slane-M"Kenna wedding be adorned by the presence of four Battery horses to pull a hired barouche? The Major could, and so could the Battery. Excessively so. It was a gorgeous wedding.
"Wot did I do it for?" said Corporal Slane. "For the "orses o" course.
Jhansi ain"t a beauty to look at, but I wasn"t goin" to "ave a hired turn-out. Jerry Blazes? If I "adn"t "a" wanted something, Sim might ha"
blowed Jerry Blazes" blooming "ead into Hirish stew for aught I"d "a"
cared."
And they hanged Private Simmons--hanged him as high as Haman in hollow square of the regiment; and the Colonel said it was Drink; and the Chaplain was sure it was the Devil; and Simmons fancied it was both, but he didn"t know, and only hoped his fate would be a warning to his companions; and half a dozen "intelligent publicists" wrote six beautiful leading articles on "The Prevalence of Crime in the Army."
But not a soul thought of comparing the "b.l.o.o.d.y-minded Simmons" to the squawking, gaping schoolgirl with which this story opens.
BLACK JACK
To the wake av Tim O"Hara Came company, All St. Patrick"s Alley Was there to see.
_Robert Buchanan_.
As the Three Musketeers share their silver, tobacco, and liquor together, as they protect each other in barracks or camp, and as they rejoice together over the joy of one, so do they divide their sorrows.
When Ortheris"s irrepressible tongue has brought him into cells for a season, or Learoyd has run amok through his kit and accoutrements, or Mulvaney has indulged in strong waters, and under their influence reproved his Commanding Officer, you can see the trouble in the faces of the untouched two. And the rest of the regiment know that comment or jest is unsafe. Generally the three avoid Orderly Room and the Corner Shop that follows, leaving both to the young bloods who have not sown their wild oats; but there are occasions--
For instance, Ortheris was sitting on the drawbridge of the main gate of Fort Amara, with his hands in his pockets and his pipe, bowl down, in his mouth. Learoyd was lying at full length on the turf of the glacis, kicking his heels in the air, and I came round the corner and asked for Mulvaney.
Ortheris spat into the ditch and shook his head. "No good seein" "im now," said Ortheris; ""e"s a bloomin" camel. Listen."
I heard on the flags of the veranda opposite to the cells, which are close to the Guard-Room, a measured step that I could have identified in the tramp of an army. There were twenty paces crescendo, a pause, and then twenty _diminuendo_.
"That"s "im," said Ortheris; "my Gawd, that"s "im! All for a bloomin"
b.u.t.ton you could see your face in an" a bit o" lip that a bloomin"
Harkangel would "a" guv back."
Mulvaney was doing pack-drill--was compelled, that is to say, to walk up and down for certain hours in full marching order, with rifle, bayonet, ammunition, knapsack, and overcoat. And his offence was being dirty on parade! I nearly fell into the Fort Ditch with astonishment and wrath, for Mulvaney is the smartest man that ever mounted guard, and would as soon think of turning out uncleanly as of dispensing with his trousers.
"Who was the Sergeant that checked him?" I asked.
"Mullins, o" course," said Ortheris. "There ain"t no other man would whip "im on the peg so. But Mullins ain"t a man." E"s a dirty little pigsc.r.a.per, that"s wot "e is."
"What did Mulvaney say? He"s not the make of man to take that quietly."
"Said! Bin better for "im if "e"d shut "is mouth. Lord, ow we laughed!
"Sargint," "e sez, "ye say I"m dirty. Well," sez "e, "when your wife lets you blow your own nose for yourself, perhaps you"ll know wot dirt is. You"re himperfectly eddicated, Sargint," sez "e, an" then we fell in. But after p"rade, "e was up an" Mullins was swearin" "imself black in the face at Ord"ly Room that Mulvaney "ad called "im a swine an" Lord knows wot all. You know Mullins. "E"ll "ave "is "ead broke in one o"
these days. "E"s too big a bloomin" liar for ord"nary consumption.
"Three hours" can an" kit," sez the Colonel; "not for bein" dirty on p"rade, but for "avin" said somethin" to Mullins, tho" I do not believe,"
sez "e, "you said wot "e said you said." An" Mulvaney fell away sayin"
nothin". You know "e never speaks to the Colonel for fear o" gettin"
"imself fresh copped."
Mullins, a very young and very much married Sergeant, whose manners were partly the result of innate depravity and partly of imperfectly digested Board School, came over the bridge, and most rudely asked Ortheris what he was doing.
"Me?" said Ortheris. "Ow! I"m waiting for my C"mission. "Seed it comin"
along yit?"
Mullins turned purple and pa.s.sed on. There was the sound of a gentle chuckle from the glacis where Learoyd lay.
""E expects to get "is C"mission some day," explained Ortheris;" Gawd "elp the Mess that "ave to put their "ands into the same kiddy as "im!
Wot time d"you make it, Sir? Fower! Mulvaney"ll be out in "arf an hour.
You don"t want to buy a dorg, Sir, do you? A pup you can trust--"arf Rampore by the Colonel"s grey-"ound."
"Ortheris," I answered sternly, for I knew what was in his mind,"do you mean to say that--"
"I didn"t mean to arx money o" you, any"ow," said Ortheris; "I"d "a"
sold you the dorg good an" cheap, but--but--I know Mulvaney"ll want somethin" after we"ve walked "im orf, an" I ain"t got nothin", nor "e "asn"t neither. I"d sooner sell you the dorg, Sir. "S trewth I would!"
A shadow fell on the drawbridge, and Ortheris began to rise into the air, lifted by a huge hand upon his collar.
"Onything but t" braa.s.s," said Learoyd quietly, as he held the Londoner over the ditch. "Onything but t" braa.s.s, Orth"ris, ma son! Ah"ve got one rupee eight annas of ma own." He showed two coins, and replaced Ortheris on the drawbridge rail.
"Very good," I said;" where are you going to?"
"Goin" to walk "im orf wen "e comes out--two miles or three or fower,"
said Ortheris.
The footsteps within ceased. I heard the dull thud of a knapsack falling on a bedstead, followed by the rattle of arms. Ten minutes later, Mulvaney, faultlessly dressed, his lips tight and his face as black as a thunderstorm, stalked into the sunshine on the drawbridge. Learoyd and Ortheris sprang from my side and closed in upon him, both leaning towards as horses lean upon the pole. In an instant they had disappeared down the sunken road to the cantonments, and I was left alone. Mulvaney had not seen fit to recognise me; so I knew that his trouble must be heavy upon him.
I climbed one of the bastions and watched the figures of the Three Musketeers grow smaller and smaller across the plain. They were walking as fast as they could put foot to the ground, and their heads were bowed. They fetched a great compa.s.s round the parade-ground, skirted the Cavalry lines, and vanished in the belt of trees that fringes the low land by the river.