I addressed Ernest Breslaw regarding the painful effect this tragedy had produced on the mind of Dawn, and how it had been further overstrung by the later one, and concluded--
"Had I expressed my inward feelings in outward actions at Dawn"s age, and being armed with a dish of water, to have thrown it on the nearest individual would have been a very mild ebullition; but I set my teeth against outward expression and let it fester in my heart, while the beauty of Dawn"s disposition is that her feelings all come out. She has disgraced herself by making outward demonstration of what many inwardly feel; but understanding what I have put before you, you must not hold the girl responsible for her action."
With masculine simplicity he was unable to comprehend the complexity of feminine emotions engendered by the exigencies of the more artificial and suppressed conditions of life as forced upon women.
"I understand about old Rooney; I feel as disgusted with him as any one does, but _I_ am not going to emulate him. I"d jolly well cut my throat first; and if I could lay my hand on the snake at the root of the drowning case, I"d make one to roast him alive! What made Miss Dawn confound me with that sort?"
"She doesn"t for an instant do so. On the contrary, she would be the first to repudiate such a suggestion."
"Good Lord! then why did she throw that stuff on me? It was only fit for a criminal."
"Can you not grasp that she was irritated beyond endurance with the unwholesomeness of the whole system of life in relation to women, and that for the moment you appeared as one of the army of oppressors?"
"But that isn"t fair! _I_ know enough of women--some women--to make one shudder with repulsion; but there would be no sense or justice in venting my disgust on you or the other good ones," he contended.
"Quite so; but our moral laws are such that some issues are more repulsive to a woman than a man, and you must admit there are heavy arguments could be brought in extenuation of Dawn"s att.i.tude of mind when the water slipped out of her hand."
"There"s no doubt women do have to swallow a lot," he said.
"You don"t feel so angry on account of the impetuous Dawn"s act now, do you?"
"It doesn"t look so bad in the teeth of your argument, and if she would only say something to explain, I won"t mind; but otherwise I"ll have sense to make myself scarce in this neighbourhood."
"I"m afraid her vanity will be too wounded for her to give in."
"I"ll make it as easy for her as I can; but, good Lord! I can"t go to her and apologise because she threw dirty water on me."
"Well, I"ll bid you good-night. I must run in to Dawn. I expect she is sobbing her heart out by this, and biting her pretty curled lips to relieve her feelings,--her lips that were meant for kisses, not cruel usage."
"Good heavens! Do you really think she"ll feel like that?" he asked in astonishment.
"I"m certain."
"But I can"t see why--she might have had reason had I been the aggressor."
"If you had hurt her she would not feel half so bad. You would be a hopeless b.o.o.by if you could not understand that."
"Really, now, if I thought she would take it that way, it would make all the difference in the world. But had she desired to despatch me, half that energy of insult would do," he said, drawing up, while hardness crept into his voice, but it softened again as he concluded--
"I wouldn"t like her to be upset about it, though, if she didn"t quite mean it."
"Well, you can be sure that in regard to you she was very far from meaning it, and that she will be dreadfully upset about it; so think of what I"ve said, and come and see me in the morning."
Now that he had grown calm, he was shivering with the cold, so I bade him run home.
On returning to the house I found Andrew the solitary watcher of his charge, who, covered by an old cloak, was snoring on the kitchen sofa.
"Dear me, where are they all?"
"In bed; and look at his nibbs there. I reckon I took a wrinkle from Dawn as how to manage him. Soon as every one"s back was turned he began actin" the goat again an" makin" for home, an" I thought here goes, I don"t care a hang if all the others roused on me like blazes, so long as grandma don"t,--she"s the only one makes me sit up,--so I flung water on him, not warm water but real cold. It took seven years"
growth out of him, an" then I gave him a drink of hot coffee, an"
undressed him, an" he was jolly glad to lay down there."
"Why, you"ll give the man a cold!"
"No jolly fear. I took his clothes off. I"ve got "em dryin" here. I couldn"t find any of my gear, an" wasn"t game to ask Uncle Jake, so I clapped him into a night-dress of grandma"s. Look! he"s got his hand out. I reckon the frill looks all so gay, don"t you? I bet grandma will rouse, but I"ll have a little peace with him now an" chance the ducks," said the resourceful warder, whose charge really looked so absurd that I was provoked to laughter.
"How did you manage him? Was he tractable?"
"He soon dropped that there was no good in bein" nothing else. He spluttered something about me disgracin" him, because something on his crest said he was brave or something; but I told him I didn"t care a hang if he had a crest the size of a c.o.c.katoo or was as bald as Uncle Jake, that I was full of him actin" the goat, an" that finished him."
"Enough too," I laughed, as I bade the Australian lad, with the very Australian estimate of the unimportance of some things sacred to English minds, the Australian parting salute--
"So long!"
TWENTY.
"ALAS! HOW EASILY THINGS GO WRONG!"
On ascending to my room I did not, as expected, find Dawn sobbing, but she had her face so determinedly turned away that I refrained from remark. I was none the worse for the diverting incidents of the evening, because the excitement of them had come from without instead of within. The rush of the trains soon became a far-away sound, and the light that flashed from their engine-doors as they climbed the first zig of the mountain, and which could be seen from my bed, had been shut from my sight by the fogs of approaching sleep, when I was aroused by heart-broken sobbing from the bed by the opposite wall.
After a while I got out of bed, bent on an attempt to comfort.
"Dawn, what is it?"
"I"m sorry I waked you, I thought you were sound asleep," she said, pulling in with a violent effort but speedily breaking into renewed sobs.
"I was thinking of poor little Mrs Rooney-Molyneux, and how my mother died," said the girl, rolling over and burying her lovely head in her tear-drenched pillow. "I can"t help thinking about the sadness and cruelty of life to women."
I felt certain that a matter less deep and lying farther from the core of being was perturbing her more, but as she chose to ignore it, I did likewise.
"Well, we must not dwell too sadly on that for which we are not responsible, and women are privileged in being able to repay the cost of their being."
"Yes, I always remember that, and often shudder to think I might have been a man, with their greater possibilities of cowardliness and selfish cruelty, as ill.u.s.trated by old Rooney and Miss Flipp"s destroyer."
Not a word concerning her action to Ernest. Thought of it stung too much for mention, so there was nothing to do but comfort her till she fell asleep and await from Ernest the next turn of events bearing on the situation.
The next turn of events in the Clay household bore down upon us next morning after breakfast when grandma came home, having left the first-born of Rooney-Molyneux comfortably asleep in the swaddling clothes which had contained Dawn at the date when she had been "a little winjin" thing," with whom everything had disagreed, and which garments were lent to the new-born babe until grandma could provide him with others. The hale old dame was not too fatigued to be in a state of lively ire, and opened fire upon her circle with--
"I met old Hollis on the way home, an" do you believe, he says to me, "Well, Mrs Clay, so I believe you"ve took to rabbit ketchin" in your old days." It was like his cheek, the same as w"en he said the monkeys would be havin" a vote next. _Rabbit ketchin"_ indeed! No wonder women has got sense at last to make the birth-rate decline, when you see cases like that, and even the people that go to help them out of the fix--an" that out of kindness, not for no reward nor pleasure--is demeaned to their face an" called _rabbit ketchers_, if you please! I reckon all women ought to be compelled to be _rabbit ketchers_ for a time, an" it would be such a eye-opener to them that if there wasn"t some alterations made in the tone of the whole business they would all strike so there"d be no need of _rabbit ketchin"_, as some call it, to make things more disagreeabler; and that"s what has been goin" on lately in a underhand way, but _some people_," concluded the intelligent old lady with her customary choler, coming to a full stop ere recapitulating the misdoings of these unmentionable members of society.
"Rabbit ketching," as midwifery is contemptuously termed in the vernacular, does require a status, and those who have need of it merit some consideration. Civilisation, stretching up to recognise that every child is a portion of State wealth, may presently make some movement to recognise maternity as a business or office needing time and strength, not as a mere pa.s.sing detail thrown in among mountains of other slavery.
During the whole forenoon I busied myself with the construction of garments for the new arrival in this vale of woe, and at the same time was on the alert for the commanded appearance of Ernest Breslaw.
Instead of himself he sent as messenger a well-spoken lad, who presented Mr Ernest"s compliments, and hoped that I was not feeling any ill effects from my unusual exertion during the previous evening.