CHAPTER II
But meanwhile it befell that, in London, he was stricken with influenza and with subsequent sorrow. The attack was short but sharp--had it lasted Addie would certainly have come to his aid; most of a blight really in its secondary stage. The good ladies his sitters--the ladies with the frizzled hair, with the diamond earrings, with the chins tending to the ma.s.sive--left for him, at the door of his lodgings, flowers, soup and love, so that with their a.s.sistance he pulled through; but his convalescence was slow and his weakness out of proportion to the m.u.f.fled shock. He came out, but he went about lame; it tired him to paint--he felt as if he had been ill three months. He strolled in Kensington Gardens when he should have been at work; he sat long on penny chairs and helplessly mused and mooned. Addie desired him to return to Paris, but there were chances under his hand that he felt he had just wit enough left not to relinquish. He would have gone for a week to the sea--he would have gone to Brighton; but Mrs. Bracken had to be finished--Mrs. Bracken was so soon to sail. He just managed to finish her in time--the day before the date fixed for his breaking ground on a greater business still, the circ.u.mvallation of Mrs. Dunn. Mrs. Dunn duly waited on him, and he sat down before her, feeling, however, ere he rose, that he must take a long breath before the attack. While asking himself that night, therefore, where he should best replenish his lungs he received from Addie, who had had from Mrs. Bracken a poor report of him, a communication which, besides being of sudden and startling interest, applied directly to his case.
His friend wrote to him under the lively emotion of having from one day to another become aware of a new relative, an ancient cousin, a sequestered gentlewoman, the sole survival of "the English branch of the family," still resident, at Flickerbridge, in the "old family home," and with whom, that he might immediately betake himself to so auspicious a quarter for change of air, she had already done what was proper to place him, as she said, in touch. What came of it all, to be brief, was that Granger found himself so placed almost as he read: he was in touch with Miss Wenham of Flickerbridge, to the extent of being in correspondence with her, before twenty-four hours had sped. And on the second day he was in the train, settled for a five-hours" run to the door of this amiable woman who had so abruptly and kindly taken him on trust and of whom but yesterday he had never so much as heard. This was an oddity--the whole incident was--of which, in the corner of his compartment, as he proceeded, he had time to take the size. But the surprise, the incongruity, as he felt, could but deepen as he went. It was a sufficiently queer note, in the light, or the absence of it, of his late experience, that so complex a product as Addie should have ANY simple insular tie; but it was a queerer note still that she should have had one so long only to remain unprofitably unconscious of it. Not to have done something with it, used it, worked it, talked about it at least, and perhaps even written--these things, at the rate she moved, represented a loss of opportunity under which as he saw her, she was peculiarly formed to wince. She was at any rate, it was clear, doing something with it now; using it, working it, certainly, already talking--and, yes, quite possibly writing--about it. She was in short smartly making up what she had missed, and he could take such comfort from his own action as he had been helped to by the rest of the facts, succinctly reported from Paris on the very morning of his start.
It was the singular story of a sharp split--in a good English house--that dated now from years back. A worthy Briton, of the best middling stock, had, during the fourth decade of the century, as a very young man, in Dresden, whither he had been despatched to qualify in German for a stool in an uncle"s counting-house, met, admired, wooed and won an American girl, of due attractions, domiciled at that period with her parents and a sister, who was also attractive, in the Saxon capital.
He had married her, taken her to England, and there, after some years of harmony and happiness, lost her. The sister in question had, after her death, come to him and to his young child on a visit, the effect of which, between the pair, eventually defined itself as a sentiment that was not to be resisted. The bereaved husband, yielding to a new attachment and a new response, and finding a new union thus prescribed, had yet been forced to reckon with the unaccommodating law of the land.
Encompa.s.sed with frowns in his own country, however, marriages of this particular type were wreathed in smiles in his sister"s-in-law, so that his remedy was not forbidden. Choosing between two allegiances he had let the one go that seemed the least close, and had in brief transplanted his possibilities to an easier air. The knot was tied for the couple in New York, where, to protect the legitimacy of such other children as might come to them, they settled and prospered. Children came, and one of the daughters, growing up and marrying in her turn, was, if Frank rightly followed, the mother of his own Addie, who had been deprived of the knowledge of her indeed, in childhood, by death, and been brought up, though without undue tension, by a stepmother--a character breaking out thus anew.
The breach produced in England by the invidious action, as it was there held, of the girl"s grandfather, had not failed to widen--all the more that nothing had been done on the American side to close it. Frigidity had settled, and hostility had been arrested only by indifference.
Darkness therefore had fortunately supervened, and a cousinship completely divided. On either side of the impa.s.sable gulf, of the impenetrable curtain, each branch had put forth its leaves--a foliage wanting, in the American quarter, it was distinct enough to Granger, of no sign or symptom of climate and environment. The graft in New York had taken, and Addie was a vivid, an unmistakable flower. At Flickerbridge, or wherever, on the other hand, strange to say, the parent stem had had a fortune comparatively meagre. Fortune, it was true, in the vulgarest sense, had attended neither party. Addie"s immediate belongings were as poor as they were numerous, and he gathered that Miss Wenham"s pretensions to wealth were not so marked as to expose the claim of kinship to the imputation of motive. To this lady"s single ident.i.ty the original stock had at all events dwindled, and our young man was properly warned that he would find her shy and solitary. What was singular was that in these conditions she should desire, she should endure, to receive him. But that was all another story, lucid enough when mastered. He kept Addie"s letters, exceptionally copious, in his lap; he conned them at intervals; he held the threads.
He looked out between whiles at the pleasant English land, an April AQUARELLE washed in with wondrous breadth. He knew the French thing, he knew the American, but he had known nothing of this. He saw it already as the remarkable Miss Wenham"s setting. The doctor"s daughter at Flickerbridge, with nippers on her nose, a palette on her thumb and innocence in her heart, had been the miraculous link. She had become aware even there, in our world of wonders, that the current fashion for young women so equipped was to enter the Parisian lists. Addie had accordingly chanced upon her, on the slopes of Montparna.s.se, as one of the English girls in one of the thorough-going sets. They had met in some easy collocation and had fallen upon common ground; after which the young woman, restored to Flickerbridge for an interlude and retailing there her adventures and impressions, had mentioned to Miss Wenham, who had known and protected her from babyhood, that that lady"s own name of Adelaide was, as well as the surname conjoined with it, borne, to her knowledge, in Paris, by an extraordinary American specimen. She had then recrossed the Channel with a wonderful message, a courteous challenge, to her friend"s duplicate, who had in turn granted through her every satisfaction. The duplicate had in other words bravely let Miss Wenham know exactly who she was. Miss Wenham, in whose personal tradition the flame of resentment appeared to have been reduced by time to the palest ashes--for whom indeed the story of the great schism was now but a legend only needing a little less dimness to make it romantic--Miss Wenham had promptly responded by a letter fragrant with the hope that old threads might be taken up. It was a relationship that they must puzzle out together, and she had earnestly sounded the other party to it on the subject of a possible visit. Addie had met her with a definite promise; she would come soon, she would come when free, she would come in July; but meanwhile she sent her deputy. Frank asked himself by what name she had described, by what character introduced him to Flickerbridge. He mainly felt on the whole as if he were going there to find out if he were engaged to her. He was at sea really now as to which of the various views Addie herself took of it. To Miss Wenham she must definitely have taken one, and perhaps Miss Wenham would reveal it. This expectation was in fact his excuse for a possible indiscretion.
CHAPTER III
He was indeed to learn on arrival to what he had been committed; but that was for a while so much a part of his first general impression that the particular truth took time to detach itself, the first general impression demanding verily all his faculties of response. He almost felt for a day or two the victim of a practical joke, a gross abuse of confidence. He had presented himself with the moderate amount of flutter involved in a sense of due preparation; but he had then found that, however primed with prefaces and prompted with hints, he hadn"t been prepared at all. How COULD he be, he asked himself, for anything so foreign to his experience, so alien to his proper world, so little to be preconceived in the sharp north light of the newest impressionism, and yet so recognised after all in the event, so noted and tasted and a.s.similated? It was a case he would scarce have known how to describe--could doubtless have described best with a full clean brush, supplemented by a play of gesture; for it was always his habit to see an occasion, of whatever kind, primarily as a picture, so that he might get it, as he was wont to say, so that he might keep it, well together. He had been treated of a sudden, in this adventure, to one of the sweetest fairest coolest impressions of his life--one moreover visibly complete and h.o.m.ogeneous from the start. Oh it was THERE, if that was all one wanted of a thing! It was so "there" that, as had befallen him in Italy, in Spain, confronted at last, in dusky side-chapel or rich museum, with great things dreamed of or with greater ones unexpectedly presented, he had held his breath for fear of breaking the spell; had almost, from the quick impulse to respect, to prolong, lowered his voice and moved on tiptoe. Supreme beauty suddenly revealed is apt to strike us as a possible illusion playing with our desire--instant freedom with it to strike us as a possible rashness.
This fortunately, however--and the more so as his freedom for the time quite left him--didn"t prevent his hostess, the evening of his advent and while the vision was new, from being exactly as queer and rare and IMPAYABLE, as improbable, as impossible, as delightful at the eight o"clock dinner--she appeared to keep these immense hours--as she had overwhelmingly been at the five o"clock tea. She was in the most natural way in the world one of the oddest apparitions, but that the particular means to such an end COULD be natural was an inference difficult to make. He failed in fact to make it for a couple of days; but then--though then only--he made it with confidence. By this time indeed he was sure of everything, luckily including himself. If we compare his impression, with slight extravagance, to some of the greatest he had ever received, this is simply because the image before him was so rounded and stamped. It expressed with pure perfection, it exhausted its character. It was so absolutely and so unconsciously what it was. He had been floated by the strangest of chances out of the rushing stream into a clear still backwater--a deep and quiet pool in which objects were sharply mirrored. He had hitherto in life known nothing that was old except a few statues and pictures; but here everything was old, was immemorial, and nothing so much so as the very freshness itself. Vaguely to have supposed there were such nooks in the world had done little enough, he now saw, to temper the glare of their opposites. It was the fine touches that counted, and these had to be seen to be believed.
Miss Wenham, fifty-five years of age and unappeasably timid, unaccountably strange, had, on her reduced scale, an almost Gothic grotesqueness; but the final effect of one"s sense of it was an amenity that accompanied one"s steps like wafted grat.i.tude. More flurried, more spasmodic, more apologetic, more completely at a loss at one moment and more precipitately abounding at another, he had never before in all his days seen any maiden lady; yet for no maiden lady he had ever seen had he so promptly conceived a private enthusiasm. Her eyes protruded, her chin receded and her nose carried on in conversation a queer little independent motion. She wore on the top of her head an upright circular cap that made her resemble a caryatid disburdened, and on other parts of her person strange combinations of colours, stuffs, shapes, of metal, mineral and plant. The tones of her voice rose and fell, her facial convulsions, whether tending--one could scarce make out--to expression or REpression, succeeded each other by a law of their own; she was embarra.s.sed at nothing and at everything, frightened at everything and at nothing, and she approached objects, subjects, the simplest questions and answers and the whole material of intercourse, either with the indirectness of terror or with the violence of despair. These things, none the less, her refinements of oddity and intensities of custom, her betrayal at once of conventions and simplicities, of ease and of agony, her roundabout r.e.t.a.r.ded suggestions and perceptions, still permitted her to strike her guest as irresistibly charming. He didn"t know what to call it; she was a fruit of time. She had a queer distinction. She had been expensively produced and there would be a good deal more of her to come.
The result of the whole quality of her welcome, at any rate, was that the first evening, in his room, before going to bed, he relieved his mind in a letter to Addie, which, if s.p.a.ce allowed us to embody it in our text, would usefully perform the office of a "plate." It would enable us to present ourselves as profusely ill.u.s.trated. But the process of reproduction, as we say, costs. He wished his friend to know how grandly their affair turned out. She had put him in the way of something absolutely special--an old house untouched, untouchable, indescribable, an old corner such as one didn"t believe existed, and the holy calm of which made the chatter of studios, the smell of paint, the slang of critics, the whole sense and sound of Paris, come back as so many signs of a huge monkey-cage. He moved about, restless, while he wrote; he lighted cigarettes and, nervous and suddenly scrupulous, put them out again; the night was mild and one of the windows of his large high room, which stood over the garden, was up. He lost himself in the things about him, in the type of the room, the last century with not a chair moved, not a point stretched. He hung over the objects and ornaments, blissfully few and adorably good, perfect pieces all, and never one, for a change, French. The scene was as rare as some fine old print with the best bits down in the corners. Old books and old pictures, allusions remembered and aspects conjectured, reappeared to him; he knew not what anxious islanders had been trying for in their backward hunt for the homely. But the homely at Flickerbridge was all style, even as style at the same time was mere honesty. The larger, the smaller past--he scarce knew which to call it--was at all events so hushed to sleep round him as he wrote that he had almost a bad conscience about having come. How one might love it, but how one might spoil it! To look at it too hard was positively to make it conscious, and to make it conscious was positively to wake it up. Its only safety, of a truth, was to be left still to sleep--to sleep in its large fair chambers and under its high clean canopies.
He added thus restlessly a line to his letter, maundered round the room again, noted and fingered something else, and then, dropping on the old flowered sofa, sustained by the tight cubes of its cushions, yielded afresh to the cigarette, hesitated, stared, wrote a few words more. He wanted Addie to know, that was what he most felt, unless he perhaps felt, more how much she herself would want to. Yes, what he supremely saw was all that Addie would make of it. Up to his neck in it there he fairly turned cold at the sense of suppressed opportunity, of the outrage of privation that his correspondent would retrospectively and, as he even divined with a vague shudder, almost vindictively nurse.
Well, what had happened was that the acquaintance had been kept for her, like a packet enveloped and sealed for delivery, till her attention was free. He saw her there, heard her and felt her--felt how she would feel and how she would, as she usually said, "rave." Some of her young compatriots called it "yell," and in the reference itself, alas!
ill.u.s.trated their meaning. She would understand the place at any rate, down to the ground; there wasn"t the slightest doubt of that. Her sense of it would be exactly like his own, and he could see, in antic.i.p.ation, just the terms of recognition and rapture in which she would abound. He knew just what she would call quaint, just what she would call bland, just what she would call weird, just what she would call wild. She would take it all in with an intelligence much more fitted than his own, in fact, to deal with what he supposed he must regard as its literary relations. She would have read the long-winded obsolete memoirs and novels that both the figures and the setting ought clearly to remind one of; she would know about the past generations--the lumbering country magnates and their turbaned wives and round-eyed daughters, who, in other days, had treated the ruddy st.u.r.dy tradeless town,--the solid square houses and wide walled gardens, the streets to-day all gra.s.s and gossip, as the scene of a local "season." She would have warrant for the a.s.semblies, dinners, deep potations; for the smoked sconces in the dusky parlours; for the long muddy century of family coaches, "holsters,"
highwaymen. She would put a finger in short, just as he had done, on the vital spot--the rich humility of the whole thing, the fact that neither Flickerbridge in general nor Miss Wenham in particular, nor anything nor any one concerned, had a suspicion of their characters and their merit.
Addie and he would have to come to let in light.
He let it in then, little by little, before going to bed, through the eight or ten pages he addressed to her; a.s.sured her that it was the happiest case in the world, a little picture--yet full of "style"
too--absolutely composed and transmitted, with tradition, and tradition only, in every stroke, tradition still noiselessly breathing and visibly flushing, marking strange hours in the tall mahogany clocks that were never wound up and that yet audibly ticked on. All the elements, he was sure he should see, would hang together with a charm, presenting his hostess--a strange iridescent fish for the glazed exposure of an aquarium--as afloat in her native medium. He left his letter open on the table, but, looking it over next morning, felt of a sudden indisposed to send it. He would keep it to add more, for there would be more to know; yet when three days had elapsed he still had not sent it. He sent instead, after delay, a much briefer report, which he was moved to make different and, for some reason, less vivid. Meanwhile he learned from Miss Wenham how Addie had introduced him. It took time to arrive with her at that point, but after the Rubicon was crossed they went far afield.
CHAPTER IV
"Oh yes, she said you were engaged to her. That was why--since I HAD broken out--she thought I might like to see you; as I a.s.sure you I"ve been so delighted to. But AREN"T you?" the good lady asked as if she saw in his face some ground for doubt.
"a.s.suredly--if she says so. It may seem very odd to you, but I haven"t known, and yet I"ve felt that, being nothing whatever to you directly, I need some warrant for consenting thus to be thrust on you. We WERE," the young man explained, "engaged a year ago; but since then (if you don"t mind my telling you such things; I feel now as if I could tell you anything!) I haven"t quite known how I stand. It hasn"t seemed we were in a position to marry. Things are better now, but I haven"t quite known how she"d see them. They were so bad six months ago that I understood her, I thought, as breaking off. I haven"t broken; I"ve only accepted, for the time--because men must be easy with women--being treated as "the best of friends." Well, I try to be. I wouldn"t have come here if I hadn"t been. I thought it would be charming for her to know you--when I heard from her the extraordinary way you had dawned upon her; and charming therefore if I could help her to it. And if I"m helping you to know HER," he went on, "isn"t that charming too?"
"Oh I so want to!" Miss Wenham murmured in her unpractical impersonal way. "You"re so different!" she wistfully declared.
"It"s YOU, if I may respectfully, ecstatically say so, who are different. That"s the point of it all. I"m not sure that anything so terrible really ought to happen to you as to know us."
"Well," said Miss Wenham, "I do know you a little by this time, don"t I?
And I don"t find it terrible. It"s a delightful change for me."
"Oh I"m not sure you ought to have a delightful change!"
"Why not--if you do?"
"Ah I can bear it. I"m not sure you can. I"m too bad to spoil--I AM spoiled. I"m n.o.body, in short; I"m nothing. I"ve no type. You"re ALL type. It has taken delicious long years of security and monotony to produce you. You fit your frame with a perfection only equalled by the perfection with which your frame fits you. So this admirable old house, all time-softened white within and time-faded red without, so everything that surrounds you here and that has, by some extraordinary mercy, escaped the inevitable fate of exploitation: so it all, I say, is the sort of thing that, were it the least bit to fall to pieces, could never, ah never more be put together again. I have, dear Miss Wenham,"
Granger went on, happy himself in his extravagance, which was yet all sincere, and happier still in her deep but altogether pleased mystification--"I"ve found, do you know, just the thing one has ever heard of that you most resemble. You"re the Sleeping Beauty in the Wood."
He still had no compunction when he heard her bewilderedly sigh: "Oh you"re too delightfully droll!"
"No, I only put thing"s just as they are, and as I"ve also learned a little, thank heaven, to see them--which isn"t, I quite agree with you, at all what any one does. You"re in the deep doze of the spell that has held you for long years, and it would be a shame, a crime, to wake you up. Indeed I already feel with a thousand scruples that I"m giving you the fatal shake. I say it even though it makes me sound a little as if I thought myself the fairy prince."
She gazed at him with her queerest kindest look, which he was getting used to in spite of a faint fear, at the back of his head, of the strange things that sometimes occurred when lonely ladies, however mature, began to look at interesting young men from over the seas as if the young men desired to flirt. "It"s so wonderful," she said, "that you should be so very odd and yet so very good-natured." Well, it all came to the same thing--it was so wonderful that SHE should be so simple and yet so little of a bore. He accepted with grat.i.tude the theory of his languor--which moreover was real enough and partly perhaps why he was so sensitive; he let himself go as a convalescent, let her insist on the weakness always left by fever. It helped him to gain time, to preserve the spell even while he talked of breaking it; saw him through slow strolls and soft sessions, long gossips, fitful hopeless questions--there was so much more to tell than, by any contortion, she COULD--and explanations addressed gallantly and patiently to her understanding, but not, by good fortune, really reaching it. They were perfectly at cross-purposes, and it was the better, and they wandered together in the silver haze with all communication blurred.
When they sat in the sun in her formal garden he quite knew how little even the tenderest consideration failed to disguise his treating her as the most exquisite of curiosities. The term of comparison most present to him was that of some obsolete musical instrument. The old-time order of her mind and her air had the stillness of a painted spinnet that was duly dusted, gently rubbed, but never tuned nor played on. Her opinions were like dried rose-leaves; her att.i.tudes like British sculpture; her voice what he imagined of the possible tone of the old gilded silver-stringed harp in one of the corners of the drawing-room. The lonely little decencies and modest dignities of her life, the fine grain of its conservatism, the innocence of its ignorance, all its monotony of stupidity and salubrity, its cold dulness and dim brightness, were there before him. Meanwhile within him strange things took place. It was literally true that his impression began again, after a lull, to make him nervous and anxious, and for reasons peculiarly confused, almost grotesquely mingled, or at least comically sharp. He was distinctly an agitation and a new taste--that he could see; and he saw quite as much therefore the excitement she already drew from the vision of Addie, an image intensified by the sense of closer kinship and presented to her, clearly, with various erratic enhancements, by her friend the doctor"s daughter. At the end of a few days he said to her: "Do you know she wants to come without waiting any longer? She wants to come while I"m here. I received this morning her letter proposing it, but I"ve been thinking it over and have waited to speak to you. The thing is, you see, that if she writes to YOU proposing it--"
"Oh I shall be so particularly glad!"
CHAPTER V
They were as usual in the garden, and it hadn"t yet been so present to him that if he were only a happy cad there would be a good way to protect her. As she wouldn"t hear of his being yet beyond precautions she had gone into the house for a particular shawl that was just the thing for his knees, and, blinking in the watery sunshine, had come back with it across the fine little lawn. He was neither fatuous nor asinine, but he had almost to put it to himself as a small task to resist the sense of his absurd advantage with her. It filled him with horror and awkwardness, made him think of he didn"t know what, recalled something of Maupa.s.sant"s--the smitten "Miss Harriet" and her tragic fate. There was a preposterous possibility--yes, he held the strings quite in his hands--of keeping the treasure for himself. That was the art of life--what the real artist would consistently do. He would close the door on his impression, treat it as a private museum. He would see that he could lounge and linger there, live with wonderful things there, lie up there to rest and refit. For himself he was sure that after a little he should be able to paint there--do things in a key he had never thought of before. When she brought him the rug he took it from her and made her sit down on the bench and resume her knitting; then, pa.s.sing behind her with a laugh, he placed it over her own shoulders; after which he moved to and fro before her, his hands in his pockets and his cigarette in his teeth. He was ashamed of the cigarette--a villainous false note; but she allowed, liked, begged him to smoke, and what he said to her on it, in one of the pleasantries she benevolently missed, was that he did so for fear of doing worse. That only showed how the end was really in sight. "I dare say it will strike you as quite awful, what I"m going to say to you, but I can"t help it. I speak out of the depths of my respect for you. It will seem to you horrid disloyalty to poor Addie. Yes--there we are; there _I_ am at least in my naked monstrosity." He stopped and looked at her till she might have been almost frightened. "Don"t let her come. Tell her not to. I"ve tried to prevent it, but she suspects."
The poor woman wondered. "Suspects?"
"Well, I drew it, in writing to her, on reflexion, as mild as I could--having been visited in the watches of the night by the instinct of what might happen. Something told me to keep back my first letter--in which, under the first impression, I myself rashly "raved"; and I concocted instead of it an insincere and guarded report. But guarded as I was I clearly didn"t keep you "down," as we say, enough. The wonder of your colour--daub you over with grey as I might--must have come through and told the tale. She scents battle from afar--by which I mean she scents "quaintness." But keep her off. It"s hideous, what I"m saying--but I owe it to you. I owe it to the world. She"ll kill you."
"You mean I shan"t get on with her?"
"Oh fatally! See how _I_ have. And see how you have with ME. She"s intelligent, moreover, remarkably pretty, remarkably good. And she"ll adore you."
"Well then?"
"Why that will be just how she"ll do for you."
"Oh I can hold my own!" said Miss Wenham with the headshake of a horse making his sleigh-bells rattle in frosty air.
"Ah but you can"t hold hers! She"ll rave about you. She"ll write about you. You"re Niagara before the first white traveller--and you know, or rather you can"t know, what Niagara became AFTER that gentleman. Addie will have discovered Niagara. She"ll understand you in perfection; she"ll feel you down to the ground; not a delicate shade of you will she lose or let any one else lose. You"ll be too weird for words, but the words will nevertheless come. You"ll be too exactly the real thing and be left too utterly just as you are, and all Addie"s friends and all Addie"s editors and contributors and readers will cross the Atlantic and flock to Flickerbridge just in order so--unanimously, universally, vociferously--to leave you. You"ll be in the magazines with ill.u.s.trations; you"ll be in the papers with headings; you"ll be everywhere with everything. You don"t understand--you think you do, but you don"t. Heaven forbid you SHOULD understand! That"s just your beauty--your "sleeping" beauty. But you needn"t. You can take me on trust. Don"t have her. Give as a pretext, as a reason, anything in the world you like. Lie to her--scare her away. I"ll go away and give you up--I"ll sacrifice everything myself." Granger pursued his exhortation, convincing himself more and more. "If I saw my way out, my way completely through, I"D pile up some fabric of fiction for her--I should only want to be sure of its not tumbling down. One would have, you see, to keep the thing up. But I"d throw dust in her eyes. I"d tell her you don"t do at all--that you"re not in fact a desirable acquaintance. I"d tell her you"re vulgar, improper, scandalous; I"d tell her you"re mercenary, designing, dangerous; I"d tell her the only safe course is immediately to let you drop. I"d thus surround you with an impenetrable legend of conscientious misrepresentation, a circle of pious fraud, and all the while privately keep you for myself."
She had listened to him as if he were a band of music and she herself a small shy garden-party. "I shouldn"t like you to go away. I shouldn"t in the least like you not to come again."