"Delia, s.h.i.t," Rae mumbled and stumbled backward.
Delia smelled the alcohol on her breath and shook her head. Not in disgust, just to make sure everything was in working order and still attached.
"G.o.dd.a.m.n it, Commander.... f.u.c.k me," she said and choked.
Rae flipped on a light; she was half-dressed. Her shirt was unb.u.t.toned and her slacks opened.
Delia chuckled. "Am I interrupting something? G.o.d, you"re strong."
"f.u.c.k you," Rae mumbled rudely and struggled with her b.u.t.tons.
Delia rolled her eyes. "Why do you do this to yourself?" Delia tried to help her.
Rae slapped her hands away. "Ensign Grainger, I"m a commander in the United States Navy. I can dress myself," she said as she swayed back and forth.
"C"mon, Rae, let"s get undressed," Delia said.
Rae narrowed her eyes at her and smiled wickedly. "How come you and I never did it?" she asked as she swayed. "Are we aboard ship?"
Delia sighed and chuckled. "You"re not my type."
"Good girl," Rae mumbled and patted her on the forehead.
"C"mon, let"s go." Delia grunted and led her down the hall to the bathroom. "In ya go." She stripped off her shirt and slacks, leaving Rae in her bra and panties.
She looked down at herself. "That"s pretty quick. You learn that in the navy?" She saluted.
Delia laughed and turned on the shower and guided Rae under the cold water. She let out a yelp as the icy water revived her.
After a moment or two, she cried out, "Okay, okay. I confess.... s.h.i.t!"
They sat at Rae"s dining room table. Rae drank her coffee as Delia watched. Rae was always funny when she drank. She used to be funny all the time. Then Syria happened, and Rae was no longer funny. She never really told her what happened on that last a.s.signment, only that it went terribly wrong. A young Navy SEAL died, and it left Rae seriously wounded.
"Sorry," Rae said sheepishly. "You should leave me be when I get like that."
"You really p.i.s.sed off Sarah."
Rae groaned. "I was a complete f.u.c.king idiot. Did she tell you?"
Delia nodded and winced for her best friend.
Rae groaned again and buried her head in her hands. "She"ll never talk to me again, and I don"t blame her. She"s got cla.s.s, Delia. She"s way out of my league."
Delia watched her for a moment. Rae Jefferson had never spoken of another woman like this. "What do you care? She"s just like all the others, right?"
Rae shot her head up and pointed a finger at Delia. "Don"t talk about her like that. She"s worth a hundred...a thousand of them...and me."
"You"re in love with her!" Delia exclaimed in amazement.
Rae gave her a horrified look. "Don"t be an a.s.shole," she said rudely. "Did you hear what I said? She"s got it all over me."
"I heard you. You"ve never talked about anyone like that," Delia said happily.
Rae narrowed her eyes at Delia and sat back. Her gaze darted back and forth in contemplation. "No, no, no. That can"t be," she said firmly, then grabbed her head. "I have such a headache."
"You need to square this with her," Delia reached over and patted her arm, "even if she hates you."
Rae interrupted with a sick groan, laying her head on the table.
"You"ve gotta square it. You"re better than this dark c.r.a.p you"ve put yourself in," Delia a.s.sured her. Rae smiled affectionately and put her hand over Delia"s.
"You"re a true friend," she said as the tears stung her eyes. "I"m a mess."
"Yes, you are, but you can get yourself out of it. You need your instincts back. Besides, we"re still missing a young woman."
With all this going on, Rae had almost forgotten. Where the h.e.l.l was Amy Davis? But right now, she had to see Sarah.
"You"re right." Rae stood shakily and grabbed her coat.
Delia looked at her watch. "Uh, Rae. It"s almost one in the morning. You can"t..."
"Oh, yes, I can."
"What are you going to tell her?"
"I have no idea, but begging comes to mind." Rae flashed the old smile of long ago. "I just don"t want her to hate me. She can tell me to blow it out my a.s.s, but I"ve got to explain and apologize." She grabbed her keys, then put her hands on Delia"s shoulders. Looking down into her green eyes, she kissed her soundly. "Thank you."
"Well, you"re welcome," Delia called after her as Rae raced out the door. "I think."
Rae paced back and forth in front of Sarah"s house.
"s.h.i.t," she said softly. Then she took a deep breath and marched up the front walk and rang the bell. She waited for a moment, then rang it repeatedly. The porch light went on, and she saw Sarah peering through the blinds. Rae waved like an idiot, and Sarah angrily snapped the blinds. She did not open the door.
"Sarah, I"m not leaving, and I"m not drunk. I just need to talk to you, please," she pleaded, then looked around the neighborhood. "Sarah!" she called a bit louder. Off in the distance, a dog started barking. Rae winced and put her face close to the door.
"Sarah," she whispered harshly, and the door opened. Rae backed up as the screen door flew open, banging her in the head. "s.h.i.t, the same spot." She felt the small bandage over her eye.
"Get in before you wake the entire neighborhood," Sarah said quietly as she stepped back, pulling her robe around her.
Rae walked in, and for a moment, they stood in the dark foyer. It was so quiet Rae could hear the clock ticking. "I-I," Rae started and blinked as Sarah flipped on the hall light.
"Aye yi, yi," Sarah said sarcastically and rolled her eyes.
Rae took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "I wanted to apologize for-"
"Okay, apology accepted, good night." Sarah opened the door.
Rae sighed helplessly and rubbed her forehead. They stood there for a moment saying nothing. "You hit me with the door," she said childishly, not knowing what else to say. "I-I think I"m bleeding again."
Sarah closed her eyes and breathed heavily through her nose. "Come into the kitchen."
As she walked away from her, Rae stood there for a moment. She then followed Sarah down the familiar hall.
"Sit down," Sarah said with cool detachment, and Rae sat. Sarah came back with the same a.r.s.enal of first aid.
"Boy, this is getting..." Rae smiled and stopped abruptly as Sarah glared at her. She reached over and stripped the bandage off her brow. Rae grunted and closed her eyes. "I deserve this."
"You deserve this and more," Sarah said sternly. She put her hand under Rae"s chin and lifted. She cleaned the small gash, all the while avoiding eye contact.
Rae winced, then pulled away. "Okay, leave some skin," she said through clenched teeth.
"Sit still, it"s dirty. You want to get an infection? Then what, gangrene would set in, and they"ll have to amputate below the neck. On you, it would be an improvement," Sarah said angrily.
Rae said nothing. She sat there obediently as Sarah finished. "Thank you."
"You"re welcome. Good night," she said firmly and gathered the first-aid kit.
Rae reached up and gently took her hands. Sarah struggled for an instant. She stood there looking at her hands. "I"m sorry, Sarah. I"m every kind of a.s.shole. You"re a good woman and a wonderful human being. And I treated you terribly. If you never want to see me again, trust me, I"d understand. But I couldn"t let you go without apologizing." She let her hands go.
Sarah slowly sat. "Go on," she said absently as she closed the antiseptic bottle.
Rae smiled slightly, and for the first time, she really noticed how pretty Sarah Connelly was.
"I"m really not an a.s.shole. I just got horribly sidetracked a few years ago. I don"t want to go into it now. Someday, I will tell you. I-I want to tell you. Tonight, though, when you knocked me over..." She stopped and chuckled quietly. Sarah blushed, and Rae grinned as she watched how it made her cheeks a rosy red. "I landed on my brains. You were right. All the way right, Sarah." She stopped again and ran a hand through her hair. "Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for tonight. You"re better than I deserve." She stood, then put her hand under Sarah"s chin and lifted her face. "Thanks for not throwing me out. Maybe I can call you sometime?" she asked, almost petrified of the answer.
Sarah stood and looked into the blue eyes that just looked right through her. The vulnerable pose rooted her to the spot. "You need someone to watch over you with a frying pan, Rae Jefferson. I"m not at all sure I"m the one, but yes, you can call me. You really hurt me tonight. Don"t ever do that again."
Rae only nodded, she could barely speak. "I am sorry. Good night. I"ll let myself out."
As she turned to go, she turned back and cupped Sarah"s face in her hands. "Bless you, Sarah," she whispered and lightly kissed her lips.
Sarah"s lips trembled as Rae"s lips touched hers in a warm brief kiss. Then just as quickly, Rae let her go and walked out of the kitchen. Sarah stood there blinking, her heart pounding in her ears.
"Wow" was all she could say. She promptly sat before she fell.
All the way home, Rae could feel her heart beating in her chest. She knew she was lucky to get a second chance with Sarah, and she prayed she wouldn"t screw it up. And although she wanted nothing more than to think of Sarah, the issue with Amy Davis still loomed. Someone had to figure out what happened to Amy.
As she slipped into bed, Rae fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. However, she woke during the night several times. The dream haunted her throughout. She only slept two or three hours and felt drugged when she hauled herself out of bed. But the thought of Sarah holding her in her arms was overwhelming. No other woman ever affected her this way. She smiled, thinking how lucky she was that Sarah didn"t tell her to go p.i.s.s up a rope.
She looked at her watch-only seven. "G.o.d, will I ever sleep through the night?" She threw on her robe. Everything ached as she dragged herself down the hall. She groaned loudly when she heard the doorbell ring. "Who in the h.e.l.l could it be this early in the morning?"
She opened the door, and Sarah stood there, holding two grocery bags. Rae blinked and gaped at her like an idiot.
"Nice look. I figured you"d be up. Take these," she ordered and shoved the bags into Rae"s arms.
"What? Why?" Rae asked, shaking her head.
Sarah walked past her and took off her coat. "What? They"re groceries because you have nothing in your house. Why? Because I"m quite possibly a moron."
Rae juggled the bags as she reached out and took hold of her arm. "You"re not a moron."
Sarah looked up and sighed. "d.a.m.n you and those blue eyes. Go take a shower, you look like h.e.l.l. I"ll make breakfast."
Rae showered and dressed quickly. She took a whiff and smelled coffee and bacon. She found Sarah in the kitchen, cracking eggs into the sizzling pan. She noticed Rae standing in the door.
"Over easy?"
Rae just nodded and smiled. She got two plates and set the dining room table.
"It"s apparent you don"t take care of yourself and you bring out my maternal instincts, you jacka.s.s. So eat, then go do whatever it is you do for a living. Can you come to the university sometime today? We can check out Molly Eastman," Sarah said with excitement as she fixed both plates.
Rae poured the coffee and pushed Sarah into the chair. "Sit, please. I can stop by at noon. I"ve got a client to see this morning."
"Good, I"ve got a cla.s.s at twelve thirty, room 124. University Hall. Molly Eastman is across the hall." She raised her eyebrow, and Rae nodded approvingly as she took a bite of toast.
"There"s some connection here. I can feel it," Rae said, and for the first time, she felt alive and working once again toward something.
"You look excited." Sarah took a bite of toast. "Someday, you will tell me what you did for Naval Intelligence, Commander."
"I will, I promise."
"Just to let you know, I have the patience of a saint. Dealing with you, I"m on the verge of canonization."
Chapter 11.
Rae drove through Chicago to ComTele Industries, smiling as she thought of Sarah and what a sweet thing she did that morning. Her smile turned to laughter when she remembered Sarah on her way out the door.
"Don"t get nervous. I didn"t bring a toothbrush," she called as she walked out, leaving Rae standing there looking like a dope.
Her near giddiness continued as she drove up to the gate. "I"m not sure I deserve to be this happy."
Jim glanced down and smiled. "Good morning, Miss Jefferson," he called out and opened the gate.
"It is, Jim," she said.
Before she drove through the checkpoint, she noticed another car leaving the facility. Rae glanced over as the red sedan pa.s.sed, and she thought she recognized the driver. A young man, black curly hair. She turned in her seat and looked.