"Better be careful, honey. She may be a lot older, but I think she can take you," Jane said with a smug grin.

"Me and you," Pam agreed wholeheartedly as she stared at the door.

"C"mon, let"s go."

Chapter 4.

He looked at her in wild amazement, then looked down at himself. Blood streamed from his chest as he fell to his knees.



"Commander," he whispered.

Rae tried to run to him, but her feet wouldn"t move. She cried out as she lifted her gun to fire again at the retreating figure. The bullets came out in slow motion and fell at her feet. She screamed for help, but no words came out. Above, the helicopter swept the sand until she could see nothing at all. The only sound was the young Navy SEAL calling out her name.

Rae sat upright in bed as if shot out of a cannon; sweat poured down her face and back. She sat naked on the edge of the bed and buried her head in shaky hands.

"d.a.m.n it," she cursed angrily. The scar immediately ached. She glanced at her forearm and traced the long thin scar with her fingers. "It should"ve been me." She shook violently and lay back, covering her naked body with the blanket.

The dream haunted her that night as it had for four long years. Carla would try to console her, but she couldn"t. She had a hard time with any signs of weakness in Rae. She needed Rae to be the rock. Rae knew this, and for that reason, she never really told her what happened on that last a.s.signment. She never really told anyone. How could she? Who really wanted to hear someone else"s c.r.a.p?

She reached over and hugged a pillow, curling up in the fetal position, d.a.m.ning the tears that stung her eyes. She lay there alone in the darkness, holding on to the pillow as if it were a lifeline. She ached for someone to hold on to. To find someone, someday to...

"Someday, my a.s.s," she whispered as she fell back into an uneasy but dreamless sleep.

She sat at her kitchen table the next morning, drinking coffee and staring at the cup, thinking of buying a pack of cigarettes. She quit three years earlier, probably just to prove to herself she was in control of something. The idea of starting again haunted her just like the previous night"s dream.

Avoiding the hauntings, she tried to concentrate on Amy. Where could this kid be? Maybe she just went on a binge, though she didn"t strike Rae as the binging type.

With that, the phone rang. It was Jane. "I just wanted to say thanks for whatever you"re doing. I apologize for Pam."

"Don"t. I understand. Have you thought of anything?" Rae drank her coffee and flexed her shoulder. The old injury ached like the devil. She looked outside. It was damp and overcast-perfect fall weather in Chicago.

"Well, I thought I"d go and ask Professor Connelly if Amy"s contacted her. She"s Amy"s professor, helping her with her doctorate, I believe. But I"ve got cla.s.ses till noon, and Professor Connelly is gone by then."

"I can go see her. I"ve got nothing to do till this afternoon," Rae said. Jane told her where to find the professor at Northwestern.

"I know where, I attended Northwestern. You were in diapers at the time, I believe. If you were even born." Rae grinned as Jane laughed on the other end.

It was still overcast and gloomy as Rae drove her jeep toward Evanston. The fall colors were just starting to show. Autumn on the Chicago lakefront was magnificent, especially on the far north sh.o.r.e. She pulled into the parking lot near University Hall, bringing back old memories.

Professor Connelly was probably old and dowdy, Rae thought as she climbed the steps of the old brick building. The teachers" lounge door was slightly ajar as she poked her head in. At the end of the table sat an elderly woman, eyes closed and gla.s.ses precariously perched on the end of her nose. Rae snorted. This figures. Oh, well.

As she entered the large room, another woman quietly walked over to the old, dozing professor. Rae stopped and waited.

"Betty," the woman said and gently shook her. Betty grunted as the woman shook harder. "Betty!" she called again, then lightly banged on the table.

Rae fought the irrational urge to giggle as she ran her hand over her mouth and continued to watch, unnoticed.

"For the love of Mike," the woman said with a chuckle, then slammed her book closed.

Betty opened her eyes and blinked. "Did you say something, Sarah?" She stretched. "My, I had a little catnap. Was I snoring?"

"Like a wild boar, dear. Now you"ve a cla.s.s in ten minutes. Would you like me to take it?" the other woman asked.

Rae noticed how gentle she was with the elderly professor. She also noticed this woman"s appearance. She was average everything, but as Rae looked further, she noticed the woman had a wonderfully full, soft curve to her figure. She found herself staring at her hips. This woman was not the usual stick figure to whom Rae was normally attracted. She looked like she may have been an athlete in her younger years. Rae smiled unwittingly-middle age hits us all. Though she thought it hit this woman particularly well. She looked like someone who may have experienced life and was comfortable with herself and her body. It was just an air about her. However, her voice intrigued Rae. It had a soft, gentle lilt to it.

"Nonsense, I"m perfectly capable. Just give me a hand, Sarah."

Then they looked up and saw Rae standing there. Betty adjusted her gla.s.ses.

Sarah gave Rae a curious look. "May I help you?" she asked with a kind smile.

Rae just stared into her smiling gray eyes for a moment.

"Young woman, who are you?" Betty tapped her cane on the table.

Rae blinked and cleared her throat. "I"m sorry." She walked up to Betty and held out her hand.

"Professor Connelly, I need to speak with you about a student. I"m Rae Jefferson."

Betty took her hand. "Nice to meet you, Miss Jefferson, but I"m Professor Whitfield, this is Professor Connelly." She motioned to Sarah.

Rae raised an eyebrow. They looked at each other again for a moment.

"I don"t suppose you still want to speak with me?" Betty asked with a slight smirk.

Once again, Rae blinked, totally fl.u.s.tered. "I-I"m sorry. I don"t know why I a.s.sumed," she started, stumbling over everything she said.

Sarah Connelly gave her a curious look. A smile graced her pretty face.

"Well, I"ve got a cla.s.s. It was nice not speaking with you, Miss Jefferson," Betty said with a smug grin and winked at Sarah. "She"s all yours, dear." She then slowly walked out of the lounge with a quiet groan.

Rae watched her retreat, then looked back at the professor.

"How may I help you, Miss Jefferson?" Sarah offered her a seat.

As she sat across from her, Rae explained the situation. Sarah listened and watched Rae as she talked. "So I was wondering how well you knew her and if you"ve talked to her in the last few days."

"I only know her through school. She"s studying literature, and I"m the head of the department. She"s a good student and a nice young woman. How is it that you know her?"

Rae knew she turned five shades of red. She could feel it creeping up her neck. "Well, I met her, and I, well, we had dinner and..." She stopped and rubbed her forehead.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "I see."

Rae heard the tone, to which Rae took exception, but couldn"t argue. She knew that whatever this professor was thinking, it was probably true: The old lecherous ex- Commander Jefferson picked up a young woman in a gay bar and had a night of raucous s.e.x. Typical story told a million times.

"And you haven"t seen her all week? She did miss a cla.s.s Wednesday. She was also supposed to tutor a student this morning. She failed to show up. What do you think is happening?"

Rae shook her head, grateful she didn"t want to pursue her intimate knowledge of Amy Davis. "I don"t know." She then told her about the break-in at Amy"s apartment.

Sarah frowned deeply. "Good grief. Have the police found anything?"

"No. I even called a friend of mine downtown. She"s a cop. I don"t know." Rae ran her fingers through her hair, which she knew was a mess by the way her fingers tangled through it.

"Well, I don"t know what else I can tell you, although the last few weeks, I"ve seen her with a young man. I thought they might be dating. I know she"s gay, but you never know. Perhaps he can help."

"Do you know where he might be?" Rae asked.

"Are you a police officer or private investigator?" Sarah asked cautiously. "I only ask because you have an air of authority about you as if you"re familiar with this."

Rae looked into her eyes then. Rae felt drawn into those gray eyes and smiled slightly when Sarah blinked several times and cleared her throat.

"I"m sorry, it"s none of my business," she said quickly and shuffled a few papers in front of her.

Rae shrugged. "Don"t be sorry. No, I"m not the law by any stretch. I just feel compelled to help."

Suddenly, Rae felt exhausted and worn. She stretched the back of her neck and noticed Sarah watching her with a slight grin.

"Insomnia?"

Rae, uncharacteristically embarra.s.sed, nodded. "I guess."

"I lived with an insomniac for ten years," Sarah said. "Couldn"t sleep for more than two hours at a time. So neither did I." She let out a genuine laugh. "Now I know someone else was lying awake with her. And I"m quite content and rested."

Rae laughed along with her, amazed at how easy it was to do this, and at the same time dismissing the idea of how nice it felt. "Can you tell me about this young man?"

"I"ll do better. I"ll take you to him," Sarah offered.

As they walked through the campus in silence, Rae looked around her and smiled. Sarah stole a glance at her.

"Something you find amusing, Miss Jefferson?"

"No, no. I was just remembering when I went to school here." Rae noticed her companion stopped. Rae looked back and chuckled. "What? Don"t I look like I went to college?"

"Not at all. I don"t know why I"m surprised. I apologize. What did you study?"

"Criminology, psychology. It fascinated me," Rae said with a noncommittal shrug as they started walking.

"So you do have some background in this? What did you do with it?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing at first, then I joined the navy."

Once again, Rae noticed she was walking alone. "Professor, at this rate, we"ll never get to our young man."

"I"ve never met anyone who was in the military. Was it tough?" she asked pointedly.

She looked down at Sarah and chuckled openly. Inexplicably, she wanted to tell this woman all about it. That scared the h.e.l.l out of her. "No, it wasn"t," she said without looking at Sarah.

"Hmm."

Rae heard the disbelief behind the grunt. They were silent as they walked up the steps.

"He"s down the hall. Room 213, English Poetry."

Rae winced and Sarah smiled. "It"ll be painless. You won"t have to recite anything," she said smugly. "Unless you feel the urge."

Rae shot her a look and started to say something when the doors opened and students filed out of the rooms.

All at once, they were on opposite sides of the hall. Sarah pointed to the young man. "Mike Porter," she called to him.

The tall young man with dark curly hair smiled at Sarah and waved. He walked over to her, and she introduced him to Rae. After shaking hands, Rae asked him about Amy. He listened and watched her for a moment. Rae thought for sure she saw tiny beads of perspiration break out on his brow. He quickly put a hand to his forehead and wiped.

"Have you seen her this week?" she asked.

Mike looked from her to the smiling professor. "N-no, I haven"t. Why?" He pulled at his backpack.

"No reason. She"s just missing, and I"m trying to find out what"s going on, that"s all," Rae said and watched.

His gaze darted all over, then he shrugged. "Well, I haven"t seen her. Sorry." He started to walk away.

"If you do or if you remember anything, please call me." Rae offered her card, and he took it.

He looked from the card to Rae. "You"re a private investigator?"

"Why does everyone ask me that? No, I"m not."

He shrugged and walked away. Rae watched him as he walked down the steps.

"Well, Professor, thanks for the help. I"ll let you know what happens," Rae said as she rubbed her neck.

"Why don"t you let the police solve this, if there is anything to solve?"

Rae tried to think of an answer, why she felt responsible. The truth was it lay in a small, unknown village outside of Tartus, Syria, on the Mediterranean Sea. Join the navy-see the world.

Rae felt a gentle touch on her arm but jumped as if scalded.

Sarah jumped, as well. "I"m sorry. You just seemed-"

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