Somewhere Inside

Chapter 15

"They"re punishing her for what I did," I exclaimed. "I have to get her out!"

I called my mom and Iain to brief them on Robert"s report, and was just starting to calm down when the phone rang again. It had been sixteen days since Laura"s last call, but when the phone rang at 10:15 P.M P.M., I knew it was her.

The two previous calls had come entirely unexpectedly, but both had come shortly after 10:00 P.M P.M. Since her last call, I had started making a point of being alert at that time every night.

"Baby Girl, are you okay?" I screamed breathlessly. I desperately wanted to know about Laura"s health.

"Li, be calm," she said. "Just listen to me, okay?"



I scrambled for my notebook and a pen and put the phone on speaker so that Paul could listen in as he had done during Laura"s previous calls.

"Do not talk about my health in the press," she said decisively. "It will anger people. It will seem like our family is accusing the government here of mistreating us. I am being seen by a doctor. I"m okay."

I was confused by what Laura was saying because I"d just talked to Robert, and he"d said Laura"s health was in trouble. So what was she saying now? Perhaps in antic.i.p.ation of Robert"s call to me, the North Koreans were trying to send a message through Laura that speaking publicly about her health would make the situation worse for her. The North Koreans seemed to be trying to ensure that no one believed they had abused the girls" human rights. Laura"s tone was very deliberate, which seemed to indicate that her captors were talking through her. I knew from Laura"s plea that the North Koreans must have seen some of the interviews our family had done, during which we expressed our concern for her ulcers and possibly deteriorating health. I was desperate to know the truth about her health, but she didn"t give me a chance to ask about it.

"The feeling here is that our government doesn"t care about us," Laura urged.

She said her interrogators were pointing out that America had not officially apologized and that some kind of acknowledgment of the girls" crimes had to be made publicly.

"Do you think that Secretary Clinton or President Obama would just say that they"re sorry American citizens broke North Korean law?" she asked.

I thought about what such a request would mean diplomatically. President Obama had been in office for only seven months, and Secretary Clinton was under pressure from the six-party member countries-particularly j.a.pan-to stand her ground against North Korea"s provocations. j.a.pan"s leaders had loudly expressed their concern that North Korea"s missiles could reach its country"s population centers as well as the U.S. military bases there. I also knew that conservative hawks were monitoring the administration"s every move and utterance, and were ready to jump on any signs of weakness or kowtowing to the repressive North Korean regime.

"I will try," I said, while keeping the geopolitical implications to myself.

"Okay. Li, we need to talk about an envoy," Laura continued.

"Vice President Gore has been ready to go," I said. "It was all set up and then everything went silent."

"Al isn"t going to work," she replied. "They a.s.sociate him too much with Current TV. The best thing he can do is work behind the scenes. But please thank him for everything he has done. I am so grateful."

"It has to be someone symbolic," Laura said. After a brief pause she continued, "Do you think either President Carter or Clinton might be willing to act as an envoy?"

I couldn"t believe we were even having this conversation. We weren"t talking about average Joe diplomats-these were former U.S. presidents! I knew that President Clinton was well regarded in North Korea from my trip there in 2007, but I immediately discounted him as a possible envoy because he was married to the current U.S. secretary of state. It could be perceived as an insult to Secretary Clinton if her husband played a role in this, especially considering her recent terse remarks about North Korea"s nuclear ambitions. I didn"t want to complicate things for her, because I knew she had taken our matter very seriously and I appreciated how much she wanted to bring the girls home.

I also wasn"t sure how President Obama felt about former President Clinton, given the tension that had arisen during the presidential primaries when then Senator Clinton was running against then Senator Obama. And finally, I wondered how the Bill Clinton option would go over with Vice President Gore. After all, Gore had spent months tirelessly trying to get the girls out. But the other option of President Carter left me a bit stupefied.

"Are you sure that Jimmy Carter would work?" I asked, surprised that his name had even been brought up.

I thought about the former president"s age; I knew he was well over eighty and wondered if he would be able to undertake such an arduous and unpredictable mission. Regardless, I thought it was best to deflect attention from the Clinton option because it would be just too complicated. I nervously launched into a monologue about why Carter was the ideal choice.

"It"s true President Carter is universally beloved," I declared. "He has been instrumental in the movement for peace and even won the n.o.bel Peace Prize for his efforts years ago."

"Yes, Li," Laura responded, "and he"s been an important player in the Middle East peace process."

I could tell by her tone that she knew what I was trying to do and she was playing along.

We were nearing fifteen minutes on the phone when she asked me to jot down a list of things we should send by mail. Among the items she asked for were sunblock, feminine products, journals, and Clorox wipes. Sounding defeated, my sister told me that she was prepared to be sent to a labor camp. If it were to happen, she wanted to bring some items from home with her, as she would likely not have contact with the outside world for more than a decade. At the end of our conversation, Laura asked one more thing of me.

"Will you write a letter to Euna for me? Tell her I love her."

Laura"s final request of me was confirmation that she and Euna had been kept apart. We still didn"t know if they were being kept in the same location; all we knew was that both of them were inside North Korea.

After my talk with Laura, I called Michael to see if Euna had called him and if she"d said anything I needed to know. She had reached Michael, but other than conveying that the United States should apologize, she didn"t say anything political or make any requests for an envoy.

LAURA.

MY HAND TREMBLED as I hung up the receiver. I replayed the conversation in my mind, wanting to be sure I had said everything I"d meant to say. It hurt me to hear the determination in Lisa"s voice. She was so quick to promise President Carter. But what if he couldn"t come, or if the U.S. government wouldn"t approve of him? I didn"t want Lisa to feel responsible if things didn"t work out. as I hung up the receiver. I replayed the conversation in my mind, wanting to be sure I had said everything I"d meant to say. It hurt me to hear the determination in Lisa"s voice. She was so quick to promise President Carter. But what if he couldn"t come, or if the U.S. government wouldn"t approve of him? I didn"t want Lisa to feel responsible if things didn"t work out.

"Don"t promise anything, Li. Just do your best," I had told her.

As I walked through the hotel lobby, my eyes bloodshot from crying, I saw a foreign tour group milling about. A young man who appeared to be from another Asian country was in the doorway, and he was staring in my direction. I wondered if he knew who I was from international news reports. I looked at him, hoping he might recognize me and perhaps contact my family after his trip to let them know he had seen me. I intentionally dropped my tissues on the ground as I pa.s.sed through the doorway and bent down to pick them up. We locked eyes for a moment before my escort directed me to move along quickly. Nothing ever came from this brief encounter.

The next week was one of introspection. No one other than the doctor came to see me, and I was left with a lot of time to think and reflect. Up to this point I had largely kept any thoughts of going to prison out of my head. Now I decided it was time to prepare myself mentally. I thought about the estimated two hundred thousand political prisoners who are sent to the brutal Soviet-style gulags to be "reeducated" through hard labor such as mining, logging, or agricultural work. Family members of those accused of political crimes, such as saying something negative about the North Korean leadership, can also be sent to a prison camp. I told myself that if I were transferred to a camp, I would be enduring what many innocent North Koreans have had to struggle through for generations. Their stories of perseverance encouraged me to be strong. I considered myself lucky to have lived such a privileged life for as long as I had. Several times throughout the day, I sat cross-legged at the edge of my bed and meditated. With each inhale and exhale, I cleared my mind of any thoughts or fears, and for brief moments felt a sense of peace.

One afternoon I noticed Paris packing up some of her belongings. I knew the guards were allowed a break every six weeks or so when they could go home for an evening and spend time with their families. But they were not allowed to discuss the nature of their job with anyone. Paris told me her family believed she was working on a special a.s.signment with a foreign tour group, not translating for one of North Korea"s prized American prisoners. As she scrambled about the room, making sure she had her toiletries and cell phone, I asked if she was going to visit her family.

"Yes," she said hurriedly, "but I"ll see you tomorrow."

"I"m really happy for you," I said. "I"m sure they miss you a lot."

She looked at me, smiled, and made her way toward the door.

"Have fun!" I exclaimed.

"Thank you. Just let the guards know if you need anything," she said and waved good-bye.

Without Paris there, I felt more alone than ever. The other guards treated me like an evil leper. Thankfully, I had a Sudoku puzzle book Iain had sent, and I used that to ingratiate myself with them. I ripped out a few sheets and offered them to one of the guards. She readily, but unemotionally, accepted them and immediately went about trying to solve the puzzles. Even if this small token didn"t alter her att.i.tude toward me, it did occupy her time so she wasn"t consumed by shooting me harsh glares.

Paris didn"t return for two days. When she did, she looked more energetic and refreshed. She had on a new outfit, a dainty pink skirt and a white blouse. She spoke exuberantly with the other guards in Korean. I a.s.sumed she was recounting her activities at home.

While I was eating my meal in the guards" room, I asked her about her visit. Suddenly her mood turned from glee to melancholy.

"I didn"t want you to know I was seeing my family," she said, looking crestfallen. "But you asked, so I didn"t want to lie. I felt bad that I was getting to see my sister and mother and father, when you have not been with your family for so long. That"s why I told you I would only be gone for one day."

I wanted to leap from my seat and hug her like a sister. I was deeply moved by how considerate she was of my feelings. Unlike the other guards, Paris treated me like a human, like a friend.

LISA.

BRENDAN C CREAMER HAD ARRANGED for vigils to take place all over the world on July 9, to mark one hundred days of Laura and Euna"s detainment. Among some of the locations in which they were to take place were Chicago, New York, San Francisco, Orlando, Phoenix, Portland, and Seoul. for vigils to take place all over the world on July 9, to mark one hundred days of Laura and Euna"s detainment. Among some of the locations in which they were to take place were Chicago, New York, San Francisco, Orlando, Phoenix, Portland, and Seoul.

I had already planned on attending and speaking at the vigil in our hometown of Sacramento when Laura"s call came unexpectedly two nights before. The original plan was to talk about our concern for the girls" health, but Laura had told me to end all discussion about her health, and that meant a change in strategy. Of course, right after Laura"s call I called Iain to compare notes. She had also asked him to see if the president or secretary of state would publicly apologize for the girls" transgression and if a former U.S. president would act as an envoy. I sent urgent e-mails to Al Gore and Kurt Tong after I hung up with Iain.

"Laura called," the e-mails read.

First thing the next morning, I briefed both men on my conversation with Laura. It was hard for me, but I broke the news that Gore was not seen by the North Koreans as the appropriate person to go to rescue the girls. I explained that Laura said he was not seen as suitable because he was the chairman of the company for which the girls worked. The North Koreans wanted someone more symbolic like President Carter or Clinton. Neither Al nor Kurt even acknowledged that Clinton was a possibility, and each was similarly surprised that Carter had been suggested.

Though a renowned international peace negotiator, Jimmy Carter had become known as a bit of loose cannon after veering from the official script during a number of diplomatic missions. The most glaring example had been a visit he made to North Korea in June 1994 when Bill Clinton was in office. Having been out of official office for thirteen years, Carter was asked by the Clinton administration to go to Pyongyang as a private citizen to talk to then leader of North Korea Kim Il Sung about its nuclear ambitions. Carter reportedly went way beyond his instructions by negotiating specifics of a nuclear nonproliferation treaty and announcing the terms live on CNN only minutes after he alerted Clinton to his plans.

Though the incident surprised members of the Clinton administration, it apparently softened the tone of the U.S.North Korean relationship. As vice president, Al Gore had been front and center for the entire episode and recounted parts of it to me on the phone. He then got in touch with Carter to communicate Laura"s request. Even though Carter was eighty-four years old, he agreed to go. I reached out to people I knew with private airplanes. If a release were to happen, I didn"t want it to be at the U.S. taxpayers" expense.

But I didn"t want to get ahead of myself. We still needed to see if President Obama or Secretary Clinton would make some kind of apology. I pondered the implications. Could the six-party member countries see this as a concession? Would conservatives attack the president for legitimizing the repressive regime"s legal system? I realized what a delicate dance such an apology would be.

My old friend Jeff Rose, a PR wiz in Los Angeles, strongly suggested that we publicly ask that our government request amnesty for Laura and Euna. We had been asking for a release on humanitarian grounds, but a call for amnesty would acknowledge the North Korean Supreme Court"s adjudication of the case. Though we would not know the truth about what really happened until Laura and Euna were back, our goal was to get them home.

At the last minute, Iain decided to come with me to Sacramento to the vigil. It helped to have someone as studied and vigilant as he is to help me deliver our new message about amnesty. We had to convince the U.S. government that the onus should be put on the girls; they, not the U.S. government, had been accused and sentenced for crimes. Iain and I hit all the local Sacramento news affiliates, which were happy to have us on because that"s where Laura and I grew up. Laura"s story was big news there.

We took our message to the steps of California"s capitol that Thursday evening, July 9. Beforehand, we briefed the legislators who spoke, including the person reading the statement from Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and asked them please to tread carefully in their remarks. These seasoned political hands might normally characterize the North Korean leadership as dictatorial and aggressive, but in this situation there was no room for error: the message had to be respectful and precise. At the end, hundreds of people chanted, "AM-NES-TY, AM-NES-TY," in unison. It was a moving sight that was picked up by national media outlets that night and the following morning.

By Friday afternoon the next day, news broke that Secretary Clinton had asked the North Korean government for amnesty on behalf of Laura and Euna. In an address to her State Department colleagues (that we later learned was set up for this purpose), she said that Laura and Euna had expressed "great remorse for this incident" and called on the North to allow them to return home to their families.

"We call on the government of North Korea to grant amnesty to the journalists," she said. "I think everyone is very sorry that it happened."

This was huge. To say we were shocked that Secretary Clinton acted so soon would be an understatement. I immediately called the president of CNN, Jon Klein. I had known Jon since my early twenties when I was with Channel One News and he was at CBS. I had recently worked on a big project for CNN called "Planet in Peril." Now I needed his help. If Laura and Euna"s captors were watching CNN, I wanted to make sure they didn"t miss this.

"Jon," I begged, "can you blast Secretary Clinton"s request for amnesty all over CNN?"

He graciously obliged, and by the end of the day-morning time in Pyongyang-Secretary Clinton"s apology and request of North Korea"s leadership was being reported almost every twenty minutes on both CNN and Headline News.

I felt so grateful to have such contacts in the media. Working in the television business for more than twenty years had given me a wealth of relationships that were hugely helpful to our cause. I thought about the many people incarcerated overseas without political or media connections. I vowed to myself that if we were successful in getting Laura and Euna out, I would try to lend my voice when appropriate to support others who were being unjustly held by other country"s governments.

Now we had successfully carried out part of what Laura had asked for; America"s most senior diplomat had expressed regret for the actions of its citizens. The next step was getting approval for a visit by Jimmy Carter as an envoy to negotiate the girls" release.

CHAPTER NINE.

the envoy LAURA.

MORE THAN A WEEK went by after my call to Lisa and I"d heard no news. One afternoon Paris handed me another batch of letters. "I hope there is some positive information for you in here," she said sincerely. went by after my call to Lisa and I"d heard no news. One afternoon Paris handed me another batch of letters. "I hope there is some positive information for you in here," she said sincerely.

I tore into the manila envelope from the Swedish Emba.s.sy, and to my astonishment, for the first time there seemed to have been actual progress and positive developments.

In a letter from July 18, Iain wrote: Dearest Laura,Waiting, waiting, waiting. I hope we don"t have to wait too long. I wonder what is holding things up. As I said, your two main points are done. I am not sure how much more we can do...The longer it goes on and nothing happens the more we need to look for other avenues. We have the apology. We have the second step. I hope your a.s.sessment was correct. I miss you too much.

Though Iain wasn"t specific, I gathered that either President Carter or Clinton had accepted the request to serve as an envoy. Not only that, he also said that Secretary of State Clinton had apologized for our actions and had asked the North Korean government to pardon us. I burst into tears and read the letter over and over, wanting to make sure the words were real. I told myself to temper my expectations, but I couldn"t help feeling an overwhelming sense of excitement.

I rushed into the adjoining room where Paris was intently focused on her Czech language studies. "I think it might be happening!" I rejoiced.

Not fully hearing me, Paris took her headphones off her ears and looked over at me.

"I think either President Carter or Clinton may be coming!" I said. "I can"t be sure, but my husband said that everything I asked for has been done. They"re just waiting for your government to react."

"That"s really great," Paris replied, smiling. "So now you are happy."

"Well, I don"t want to speak too soon," I said. "All I know is that my government has acted. I just hope your government accepts their offer."

That evening I was visited by the man from the prosecutor"s office and Mr. Baek. I felt certain they must be coming to relay some good news.

"Ahn-yong-ha-sib-nee-ggah," I said, using the Korean greeting for "h.e.l.lo." I said, using the Korean greeting for "h.e.l.lo."

The man nodded in acknowledgment and took a seat. I tried to keep from grinning.

"Tell me," he began with a frown, "why did you insist on President Carter during your call with your sister? Who told you to ask for Carter?"

I didn"t understand why he was being so stern. Surely he knew who had told me to request Jimmy Carter. He had. But before I could remind him of our lengthy conversation, he blurted out, "Carter, Carter, Carter! All you talked about was Carter! And you acted as if you were speaking on behalf of the DPRK government! You have upset many people by asking for Carter."

Stunned and speechless, I tried to gather my thoughts. "Sir, we talked before the call about Carter or Clinton. That"s why I asked for him. I may have emphasized President Carter because I thought he would be more likely to come, and from the letters I received, it seems that he has offered to come. That"s what we discussed here in this room. Why is there a problem now?"

He went on angrily about why Carter was not acceptable. He explained that Carter had been out of office for too long. Then he said it was up to me to figure out what I needed to do to go home, and that my next call to my family would probably be my last.

Unable to control my emotions, I began to bawl hysterically. For the first time, I raised my voice in frustration.

"You and everyone else listening in on my call knew I asked for President Carter," I said. "That was well over a week ago. My government has responded, and he has offered to come. Now you"re telling me he"s not the right person? Why couldn"t you tell me earlier, right after the call? Then my family and my government wouldn"t have gone through all the trouble! Do you know how difficult it is going to be to ask for someone else? And who is going to be acceptable? President Clinton? Or is it another person now?"

I didn"t care if I was being disrespectful. I was tired of this charade. The highest levels of the U.S. government were following my lead, and now I was going to have to tell them it was all a mistake.

The man told me I would have one more chance to win my freedom by making another call to Lisa the next day. He asked what I planned to tell her. I wanted to make sure that this time I asked for only one envoy. Bill Clinton seemed to be the person the North Koreans wanted, but I needed to be certain. I went through a list of names from former Secretary of State Colin Powell to Christopher Hill, the U.S. amba.s.sador to Iraq, who in 2005 was the head of the U.S. delegation to the six-party talks and had traveled to Pyongyang on a diplomatic mission in 2007. But everything came back to Clinton.

"I am just giving you my personal advice," the man began. "I think you should tell your sister that Clinton is your best and last option."

Those words solidified my decision. It had to be Clinton. As the man and Mr. Baek walked out of the room, Mr. Baek turned around and said to me in a hushed voice, "Try hard to get Bill, Laura."

Even he knew it was Bill or prison.

I thought about the likelihood that the former president would be willing to act as an envoy and the political hurdles that would have to be overcome for Washington to approve his visit. I knew Lisa had contacts who could reach Bill Clinton, and I was confident that Al Gore would be influential. But I also wondered if the secretary of state would want her husband to make the trip. There were too many factors to consider. My head was spinning. Instead, I decided to focus on my part and my part alone-the call. I spent the night scribbling down notes in preparation. I walked circles about the room, talking to myself out loud as if I were already talking to Lisa.

The next day I was taken back to the Yanggakdo Hotel to make the most important phone call of my life. This time, the only people accompanying me were Mr. Baek and Paris. During the car ride over to the hotel, I asked Mr. Baek, "Do you think the man from the prosecutor"s office is speaking for the government? I know he says he"s just giving me his personal opinion, but he must be sending me a message, right?"

"You know I can"t answer that, Laura," Mr. Baek said. "But I do think he is very smart and knows what he"s talking about."

"Thank you," I said. "I just want some rea.s.surance that they won"t ask for someone else later."

Pulling up to the hotel entrance was beginning to feel routine. The same hotel worker always opened my door and proceeded to escort us up to the second floor where there was a series of small conference rooms. No matter which room I was in, they all looked identical. Most of the s.p.a.ce was filled by a rectangular wooden table with four chairs on either side. There was a calendar on one wall showing idyllic patriotic scenes such as a handsome soldier and a beautiful woman set against a sunset. Portraits of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il adorned the main wall.

With tissues in hand, I took several deep breaths before picking up the phone and carefully dialing Lisa"s number. After several rings, it went to her voice mail. My heart sank. I left her a message and proceeded to dial my mom, hoping I would be able to call Lisa again.

LISA.

AFTER S SECRETARY C CLINTON"S REQUEST for amnesty, we had hoped for an immediate response, but ten days had gone by with nothing. Though we had also grown accustomed to waiting, every hour seemed to go on forever. We had another of our Friday conference calls with Kurt and the State Department team. Kurt confirmed that Carter"s name had been floated to their sources in North Korea over the past few days, but there had been no response. It was exactly four months to the day since my sister was arrested. If what Laura communicated to me was true, Jimmy Carter could be on a plane within days. We seemed to be getting closer and closer, after four long months, and we felt more confident than ever that Laura might soon be coming home. for amnesty, we had hoped for an immediate response, but ten days had gone by with nothing. Though we had also grown accustomed to waiting, every hour seemed to go on forever. We had another of our Friday conference calls with Kurt and the State Department team. Kurt confirmed that Carter"s name had been floated to their sources in North Korea over the past few days, but there had been no response. It was exactly four months to the day since my sister was arrested. If what Laura communicated to me was true, Jimmy Carter could be on a plane within days. We seemed to be getting closer and closer, after four long months, and we felt more confident than ever that Laura might soon be coming home.

Several nights after the Carter option was presented to North Korea, Paul and I had just returned from a late dinner out. I threw my bag on the couch and rushed into the bathroom because I"d needed to go during the entire car ride home. From the loo, I heard my cell phone ring. It was inside my purse.

"Babe, your phone!" Paul yelled.

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