"It"s the queen," someone said, astonished.
The storm was gone-and so was Helios.
Eleven.
IT"S strange to remember how little Juba said to me when I returned. I"d come in straight through the front doors, heka still coursing through my veins, my cheeks raw and my hair a fright. We stood together in the main hall, where carved lions stared down at us with dead eyes. I"d come in not just from the storm but from the arms of a lover, so I wondered how I should answer Juba if he questioned me, but he asked me nothing.
Juba only called for servants to attend me, then retreated to the cramped room he"d claimed as his private study. I was grateful, because I needed time to make sense of my changed world. Chryssa broke open a waxy green leaf, smearing sticky aloe onto my cheeks to soothe my wind-burned skin. I didn"t want to share the truth of what happened, but I knew that Chryssa still grieved for Helios and believed him dead so I whispered, "I"ve seen him."
She shuddered, her hands trembling. "Isis gave you a vision?"
"No vision, Chryssa. I saw him. Helios is alive, but no one must know it."
She gave me a pitying look, as if she thought I"d gone mad. "Oh, my poor queen." She didn"t believe me. Should she have? It was all too unreal. And when I woke the next morning, the skies were bright and blue as if the storm had never been.
SORCERESS.
This was the word spoken most often of me in the days that followed. The Romans whispered the word with fear and loathing. The Greeks, like Crinagoras, mused upon it with skepticism. The Berbers uttered it with a hushed reverence. That I"d gone into sanctuary in their custom pleased them; the rumor that I"d come out of sanctuary to command a storm filled them with awe.
To my surprise, I wasn"t touched by the slightest trace of heka sickness. Only heartsickness. I grieved for Helios as if he were really dead. I mourned the boy with the golden future who must now lose his name and his legacy. I grieved to be separated from him again, and more important, I grieved that his spirit had been broken. The Prefect of Egypt, Cornelius Gallus, had done that, and now I traced his name on papyrus. Cornelius Gallus. Cornelius Gallus.
Names held power and I wanted power over this man, but I couldn"t decide how to retaliate. If only I knew how to destroy the destroyer of Thebes! What could I do? Egypt was half a world away and even if I still had partisans there, how could I reach out to them without putting them in danger? Frustrated, restless, and in need of diversion, I fixated upon Mauretania. Until I could think of a way to have my revenge, I wanted to know more of this land that had reunited me with my twin.
Late autumn and early winter was the planting season in Mauretania, when farmers drove teams of oxen to pull their plows, digging furrows in the earth. I watched them at their work and learned that the best fields were reserved for delicate wheat, but barley could be grown aplenty on less choice land. While Juba remained cloistered with his advisers, refusing to allow me into the makeshift council chambers, I took a small retinue of servants and courtiers into the sun-drenched hills and inhaled the unique scent of Mauretanian soil in all its infinite complexity. The old king"s orchards now belonged to us and from beneath an olive tree, I had an excellent view of the Roman engineers in the harbor, working a remarkable bit of sorcery of their own. In large vats they mixed volcanic ash from the Bay of Naples with lime to form a concrete that actually hardened under water.
While we watched them build piers with this miraculous substance, Chryssa examined the olive trees of my orchard, which were dry and rotting in the sun, the victim of some pestilence. "It"s a shame," Chryssa said, running her hands over the gray bark as if it confirmed her belief that Helios was dead and all the world was dying with him. "We might have ama.s.sed a little fortune."
My slave had an acute awareness of every commodity"s value-maybe even her own-but she didn"t know everything. "The olive trees aren"t dead yet," I said, firmly. "They"ll fight their way back. Meanwhile, the grapes should have been harvested. They might have made a fine vintage. Next year they will."
Crinagoras plucked a withered overripe grape from its vine. "Our queen speaks as a veritable fertility G.o.ddess already. Luckily, I"m on hand to memorialize the epic story of her battle with the sirocco." I could tell from the way he wagged his eyebrows that he didn"t believe I"d swallowed a storm. That wouldn"t stop him from writing about it.
TALA"S child came the next night, in blood and sweat and pain. The Berber woman"s screams echoed down the dark pa.s.sageways, beneath the hunting trophies. It was a hard labor, a battle fought upon the birthing chair, one that nearly defeated the midwife with all her elixirs and rubbing oils. After many hours, Tala made a small triumphant sound, sagging as her babe squeezed between her thighs in a rush of fluid.
Tala"s son was a squalling infant whose l.u.s.ty cries convinced us he would live. His mother, however, lingered between life and death. Before dawn, all the women knelt down before a small stone altar in the garden to make an offering to their G.o.ddess for Tala"s health. They left barley cakes and drizzled them with honey, poured milk libations onto the dry earth, and clutched at amulets bearing a circle with a wide triangular base. To their astonishment, I knelt down with them as they chanted their ritual. "Your G.o.ddess is my G.o.ddess too," I said, explaining that the symbol of Tanit, narrowed only a little, was an ankh, a sign of Isis, a mark of eternal life.
"Queen," they whispered. "Sorceress. Will you use your magic to heal her?"
I knew no healing magic, but the women pleaded with me to go to Tala"s side, so I did. I found her contorted in b.l.o.o.d.y linens, her body robbed of all its color but the distinctive blue stain. Her hair hung in sweat-soaked ringlets, clinging to her bare shoulders like black coiling snakes. I feared that Anubis, the jackal-headed G.o.d of the dead, was near, so I prayed with her, telling her that childbirth was sacred to Isis and that the G.o.ddess would help her through her trials.
She listened, then struggled to make each Latin word she spoke very clear. "Don"t let Romans put my son in the hills when I die. Take the baby to my brother."
It wasn"t only the Romans who exposed unwanted babies, leaving them to starve, freeze to death, or be eaten by predators. Few in the palace would see the point in sparing an orphaned child of a Berber serving woman, even if she was the sister of a tribal chieftain, but I vowed, "I won"t let anything happen to your baby. If Maysar won"t keep your son . . . I will."
It was an impetuous promise, but I meant every word. The way Tala"s eyes widened, this was more than she expected. She reached out for me in grat.i.tude and began to cry. I hated this, for I"d never been able to bear watching strong people crumble. "Stop it, Tala. Don"t embrace death because you think your son doesn"t need you. Know that if you die, I"ll give your baby over to Chryssa to learn Greek. He"ll never learn to ride a horse or wield a Berber sword because she"ll make sure that he spends all his time in the library, and he"ll be as spoiled as you say I am. Do you want that?"
Her weak laugh mingled with her tears. "You"re so spiteful, little queen?"
"Oh, Tala, you have no idea."
TALA survived the birth but never regained her strength. She was weeks abed, and even when she was urged to activity, she moved slowly, her vitality stripped away. The Roman wives at court urged me to dismiss the big Berber woman from my service, for she"d never been respectful and was no longer strong enough for hard tasks. What with a babe on her hip, she was no fit companion for a queen anyway, they said. Worse, she was the sister of a Berber chieftain, no doubt sent amongst us to spy. I didn"t care what they said. I refused to send Tala away. Though the Berber woman didn"t like me, for some reason I liked her, and as a vessel of Isis, I wouldn"t dismiss a widow and her orphaned child.
ONE morning in early winter, Juba rode out from the palace on one of his fine new horses to inspect the aqueduct work of the Legio III Augusta. Thus, it fell to me to greet newcomers to the palace, and when a delegation arrived at the gate, I was stunned to learn that they"d come all the way from Alexandria. Excitement and apprehension warred inside me. "These are Egyptians from the finest city in the world! What will they think of this dank old building?"
"All Egyptians are spoiled like you?" Tala asked. Her customary rudeness had lost its hard edges but rea.s.sured me that her health was improving. "Just bespell them to admire this place."
"It doesn"t work that way, Tala."
"Why not?" she asked, opening her gown so that her babe could latch on to a swollen brown nipple. "You are sorceress. I name my son Ziri, after moonlight. Like Selene. Means moon, yes?"
I nodded, touched, feeling a kinship with her, even through the barrier of her insolent glare.
At that moment, Chryssa rushed in, her cheeks pink. "The Alexandrians are waiting. We found a throne chair and dragged it into the receiving room for you. Come!" I followed, my nerves a jumble. Not since my father made me a queen in the Donations of Alexandria-the very act that had predicated the war with the emperor-had I taken my place upon a throne.
This one was decidedly feminine, inlaid with ivory and pearls. I ran my fingers over the smooth iridescent arms, marveling. "Whose throne was this?"
It was Tala who answered. "Belonged to Queen Eunoe. King Bogud"s wife, mistress of-"
She broke off and I knew why. "It"s all right, Tala. You can say it. Queen Eunoe was Julius Caesar"s mistress." Queen Eunoe hadn"t been my mother"s rival. Not truly. After all, it hadn"t been Eunoe"s statue that Caesar placed in his family temple. Eunoe hadn"t given him a son. Nor had he taken Eunoe to wed in the ancient tradition. It was my mother that Caesar had loved. Still, I was intrigued by the queen who had come before me. I settled into the cushion, beneath the watchful gaze of a statue of hulking Hercules-that one ancestor that Juba and I both had in common if one credited the claims of his father and mine. "Was her affair with Caesar considered shameful in Mauretania?"
"Only by King Bocchus. Queen Eunoe was his brother"s wife . . ."
The two Mauretanian kings, Bocchus and Bogud, had ruled jointly. But when Roman civil war broke out, Bocchus supported Pompey and Bogud supported Caesar, going so far as to lend his wife to the cause. After Caesar"s a.s.sa.s.sination, the two brothers were forced to divide their loyalties yet again. Bocchus supported Octavian and Bogud supported my father. It was a common enough story. Wise families put a son in each camp during Roman civil wars so that at least one of them would end up on the side of the winner. It pit brother against brother, the kind of tragedy that Juba always pointed to when he insisted that the world would be better off when Augustus was the only man who held real power. I admit, it would have been easier to hate Juba if he didn"t make such arguments sound so reasonable.
Our guests entered with the distinct bearing of Alexandrians, some draped in Greek himations, others wearing Egyptian cosmetics and wigs. The easy mix of cultures was a hallmark of the city in which I"d been born. These were my mother"s old courtiers, several of whom wore mourning clothes for her. Or maybe it was Helios they mourned, though they could never say so openly, not even here. Standing before me was Master Gnaios, a talented gem cutter who"d worked for my father. Also the Lady Lasthenia, an esteemed Pythagorean philosopher who traveled with a number of her students, eager to find a place at my royal court. Memnon, the commander of my mother"s formidable household guards, led a troop of Macedonian soldiers, scarred veterans, fair-haired and brawny, not to be confused with more typical Greeks. My heart swelled as they presented themselves, their eyes shining a reflection of my mother"s gloried days.
Memnon appraised me with an open stare, as if he didn"t recognize in me the child I"d been when the Romans took me prisoner, but I remembered him and how he"d scolded my brothers and me to make us behave. We"d been afraid of him; now his face was dear to me. "We offer our services as your personal bodyguard," Memnon said, and my throat tightened with emotion. To have armed men accountable only to me was a blessing.
"I"ll try not to make it too difficult to protect me," I said, and they all grinned.
Lady Lasthenia laughed richly. "Majesty, if you"ll have us, we"ll be a veritable Ptolemaic court in exile."
I knew I shouldn"t invite them without consulting Juba, but these Alexandrians remembered my mother as the strongest monarch in the world; I couldn"t bear for them see me as only the king"s woman. "We"ll gladly have you," I replied, and should have given some flowery speech of welcome to these men and women who"d traveled so far to join me, but I detected the fragrant scent of light magic swirling together with the metallic tang of darker sorcery and faltered for words. Chryssa shot me an alarmed look and I followed her eyes to a figure cloaked in bright white.
Euphronius! I knew him on sight. Because the wizard had appeared amidst a delegation from Egypt, the Romans didn"t seem suspicious. To them, he was one more foreigner, a priest of Egypt of no account. Even so, I didn"t risk saying his name. I didn"t wish to call attention to him in any way.
Once the Alexandrians had taken their leave, I flew down the hall to my chambers and sent Chryssa to fetch Euphronius at once. At length, the old mage shuffled into my presence. I"d grown taller or he"d grown smaller, I couldn"t say which, but whereas I"d always looked to him for guidance, now he surrendered his divination staff-an iron rod carved at the top to resemble a hooded cobra. Such staves were common enough in Egypt, but they recalled to me the most devastating moment of my childhood.
Laying the staff at my feet and kneeling before me, Euphronius said, "Forgive me, child."
I was gratified that he didn"t pretend all was well between us. "I"m not a child anymore."
"I see that," Euphronius said. "You"re nearly grown. You have your mother"s look but with the edges softened, like polished stone. I"ve missed you, Princess."
The t.i.tle recalled to me happy days, learning at his knee. But those days were done. "Where is Helios?"
"Gone," he said.
"Where? Thebes would still stand were it not for you. I don"t know that I can forgive you if you tell me that you don"t know where to find my twin."
"I don"t deserve your forgiveness," Euphronius said, his voice breaking. "I can only tell you that I haven"t seen him since the battle in Thebes. Now he"s gone from this world."
"You"re wrong. I give you glad news that I"ve seen Helios in the flesh, in this world, alive."
The old wizard exchanged a glance with Chryssa. They didn"t believe me and the mage filled his voice with compa.s.sion. "If you saw your twin, Princess, it was only his akh come to find you."
I tried, and failed, to quell my temper. "You"re wrong. Wrong as you were when you said Augustus would die in Spain and that we should escape. Wrong as you were to encourage Helios to rebellion." I"d touched Helios and let him touch me when I couldn"t bear the thought of any man"s hands. He was real. "Helios is no spirit. No ghost. I saw him as I see you now. Work your magic. Look into the Rivers of Time and you"ll see for yourself."
"I dare not," Euphronius replied, sadly. "As you"ve said, I"ve been wrong before about what I"ve seen. I failed your mother and your brother both, and when Alexander Helios saw the battle in Thebes was lost, he sent me away."
"You mean that you left him."
The mage"s eyes glistened with tears. "Majesty, he was my king and he commanded me to go find you. I couldn"t disobey his last request."
I wanted to shake the old man"s trembling shoulders. "It wasn"t his last request. Helios lives. Now he means to become Horus the Avenger."
Again, Euphronius exchanged a look of concern with Chryssa. "Princess, we must let him go . . ."
My fists clenched at my sides. "Then there goes the King of Egypt, though none but the three of us may ever know it!"
They waited for my temper to pa.s.s, perhaps fearing what I might do next. I only stood there in impotent rage until Euphronius bowed his head. "What I know-what all the world knows-is that you"re Egypt"s rightful queen. I offer myself into your service, if you"ll have me."
My nostrils flared as I bit back unkind words. I wanted to banish him from my presence, but couldn"t. "It"s too dangerous to have you at court as yourself. Refashion yourself as a wise man or scholar. Take a new name. Claim that you were one of my father"s freedmen. But don"t hold yourself out as an intimate of mine, because I cannot bear to even look at you."
COMPARED to my mother"s grand palace by the sea in Alexandria, the mansion in which I held court was a crumbling hovel. Our wine was only pa.s.sable, and when it came to luxuries we had none but what we carried with us from Rome. In such circ.u.mstances, the Alexandrians must have thought their princess had fallen low. In truth, I knew that I was fortunate to rule any kingdom at all. Mauretania was my opportunity to rise back up like a phoenix and reclaim what was mine. In time, they"d see this, and I"d make them glad to serve me.
In honor of our Alexandrian guests, we held a dinner at which Crinagoras recited his poem about the sirocco. He couldn"t have had a more appreciative audience. After dinner was served, my mother"s wizard presented himself to Juba as Euphorbus, a learned physician, botanist, and scholar of the magical arts. I worried the Alexandrians would point out his deception. No one did. In truth, it was only a slight reshaping of his ident.i.ty. After my mother"s fall from power, it may have surprised no one that her magician should want to embrace a different name and calling.
Juba welcomed the old man to our retinue, even going so far as to recommend he tend me for ailments of the spirit. "My queen"s grief for her twin has quite consumed her. Perhaps you can offer some elixir to comfort her."
"It would be my honor," Euphronius replied, but when the old mage bowed in my direction, I turned away.
It was actually Lady Lasthenia who caused the greatest stir. When she presented the king with the writings of Pythagoras and introduced herself as a philosopher, several Romans laughed and Juba arched a brow. "My wife maintains that some women work as scholars in Alexandria. Do you expect it to be the same here in Mauretania?"
Lady Lasthenia straightened her very plain gown, unperturbed. "Majesty, I expect nothing, but hope for much. I come to you from the Museum of Alexandria, the inst.i.tute of the Muses. I"ve lectured at the Great Library. It"s my understanding that you intend to create a center of learning here in Mauretania, which is why I"ve come."
Juba"s eyes fell to the scrolls that Lady Lasthenia offered. Copies of Herodotus and Sall.u.s.t, whose historical and geographical writings he prized. To turn her away would be to turn away precious gifts, so I knew her position was secure. Indeed, the king seemed grateful for the influx of culture from Alexandria. He missed those scholarly days of leisure when he could teach and research and write. And by the end of the evening, he was plainly enchanted by the tragedian, one Leonteus of Argos, who engaged the king in a lively debate over whether or not lowly cooks were actually the civilizers of society. While the two men bantered, I slipped away with Lady Lasthenia to receive news of home.
"Are things so difficult in Egypt that it"s made exiles of those who served my mother?" I asked when we were alone.
The scholar, whose pretty dark hair was always a little unkempt, was frank. "The Romans put several of your mother"s adherents to death, but most escaped punishment. Her court physician, Olympos, has retired to write a history of your mother"s life."
Now that was something I should like to read. "And Fat Mardion ?"
Lady Lasthenia smiled. "Your mother"s eunuch sends his warmest regards."
"I worried . . ." I covered my mouth with both hands for I hadn"t believed that my mother"s closest minister would have been spared.
"Oh no," Lady Lasthenia fiddled absently with the frayed end of her braid. "The Romans would"ve been fools to put him to death. Mardion knows far too much about how the Greek and Egyptian systems work in tandem. The Prefect of Egypt needs him to keep the country from falling into disorder."
"The prefect. Cornelius Gallus." I forced myself to say the hated name. Offering Lady Lasthenia hot mint water, I said, "Tell me about him."
Pouring herself a cup, she said, "He"s a vain man who fancies himself a poet, but he"s enamored with wealth and power. He"s looted the temples, of course, but to impress the emperor he"s persecuted the Isiacs and terrorized the priests. To defend themselves against his ruthlessness, some have carved his name and likeness into the stelae as if he were Pharaoh."
Such shame! It mortified me that Egypt should honor such an unworthy man-one who wasn"t even the conqueror. Say what I would about Augustus, he hadn"t demanded that we acknowledge him as Pharaoh. Gallus dared what the emperor had not, and now I hated him even more than before.
"When Thebes rose up," Lasthenia continued, sniffing at the mint tisane in her cup, "there was a glimmer of hope, but then Gallus destroyed the city, which prompted a riot in Alexandria. Worshippers of Isis, the zealous ones, and even the quietly faithful like Memnon believe that Isis must have a throne in this world. When rumors spread that your twin was killed . . . well, you"re now the last hope for those who believe in a Golden Age."
As a Pythagorean, Lady Lasthenia studied mathematics and pondered theories about the transmigration of the soul. I somehow doubted she"d come to Mauretania seeking religious refuge. "And what about you, my lady?"
"I"m part of a vast network of worldly individuals who wish to have influence. My students and I can be your eyes here, in Rome, and in Alexandria."
"Why would you risk it?" I asked.
She smiled, taking a deep swallow from her cup. "Because, Majesty, we all believe you"ll be the next Queen of Egypt."
Twelve.
MAURETANIA.
WINTER 25 B.C.
CORNELIUS Gallus. Everything Lady Lasthenia had told me about him further enraged me. He was a man of that knighted cla.s.s that wasn"t even n.o.ble by Rome"s dubious standards. He"d destroyed one of the world"s oldest cities, killed Egyptians, and broke my twin"s spirit. But Helios wasn"t the only one who could wield a weapon in vengeance, was he? I"d learned from the emperor that you could wound a man"s reputation without ever taking to the battlefield, and sometimes that wound was fatal. A pen could be as sharp as a sword, ink as deadly as venom. Choosing carefully from a sheaf of blank papyrus rolls, I prepared to write to Augustus.
As the ink swept across the papyrus, I observed all the proper courtesies and salutations, then wrote: You promised mercy for Egypt and for my brother. Now Helios is dead-I stopped, shuddering at having committed those words to paper. It was a lie, I reminded myself, and there was no lie I wouldn"t tell to have my way. I started again. You promised mercy for Egypt and for my brother. Now Helios is dead and Thebes is no more. You refuse to make me Queen of Egypt, but you let Cornelius Gallus carve his name into the Great Pyramids. He demands the worship of the people as if he were their conquering G.o.d. I told you that Egypt needed a Pharaoh, but how bitter to know that you"ve given the t.i.tle to a mere equite!