"Doing math problems. Do not talk to-"
"What time is it?"
Ricky looks at the clock on the wall and then shuts his workbook. "Time for Ricky Roberts to eat his dinner with Mommy Roberts and Amber Appleton."
"That"s my boy," Donna says to Ricky. To me she says, "How was your day, Amber?"
I nod and then shrug, like a tool.
"Okay," Donna says. "Can we eat?"
I serve everyone, and we begin to eat.
"Is there Jack Daniels in this?" Donna says after tasting my newest dish.
"Yep," I say.
"Tastes divine," Donna says. "Got you a present, Ricky."
"Mommy Roberts got Ricky Roberts a present!"
"See that bag by my briefcase? Over there by the door?"
"Ricky Roberts sees a bag!"
"Why don"t you go see what"s in that bag."
Ricky stands and walks over to the bag. He picks it up and shakes it like a Christmas present. He even holds it to his ear. A hand finally goes in and comes out full of camouflage. "Ricky Roberts gets a shirt."
"What does it say on the shirt?" Donna says, fork in hand.
Ricky holds the shirt above his head and reads the words written in hunter orange. "Franks Freak Force Federation!"
It is the coolest shirt I have ever seen.
"How many are in that bag, Ricky?" Donna says.
Ricky counts. "Seven!"
"One for every member involved in the mission."
I swallow hard; I love Donna so much. She was in court all day-a murder case-but she still got us team shirts for the mission. She rocks!
"There are FIVE members of Franks Freak Force Federation. Mommy Roberts brought SEVEN shirts. Seven."
"Well, your attorney needs to dress the part. And I thought Franks might want one, so I had my a.s.sistant make up seven. What the h.e.l.l, right, Amber?"
I nod dumbly. I want to have an a.s.sistant someday who will make freaky teens cool T-shirts so that they can do good things in style. I want to be Donna. So frickin" much.
Donna winks at me, and then eats some more of my stir-fry.
Ricky strips off his Utley jersey and puts on some camo. "Franks Freak Force Federation!"
"You like?" Donna says.
"Ricky Roberts likes very much!"
"Amber?"
I nod fifty times, like a moron.
"There"s one in there for you," Donna says.
I sprint to the bag and find that there is a fitted girly tee in there for me, so I go into the other room and put it on, checking myself out in the hallway mirror. The cut makes my b.o.o.bs look perky, and the coloring makes me look dangerous-sorta like Sarah Mich.e.l.le Gellar playing Buffy the Vampire Slayer or maybe Uma Thurman in Kill Bill: Vol. 2. I feel so ready to fight for good tonight.
I walk back into the kitchen and Donna says, "You look like a knockout. How am I going to wear a fitted tee if I need to stand next to young s.e.xy you?"
"Amber Appleton is s.e.xy!" Ricky says.
"True?" I ask, and then blush like a moron.
"True," Donna says, and nods in this killer gangsta way that makes me believe her.
BBB barks once in agreement. "Rew!"
"Cool," I say, smiling.
I eat my dinner, and then Ricky and I clean up the dishes while Donna answers a bazillion e-mails on her Blackberry. Her thumbs move at the speed of light, and I dig how she mouths the words she is typing, like a little kid would.
Jared shows up with his brother Chad strapped to his back like a toddler in a baby backpack. Chad never really grew, and his head is almost as big as his body. We told him to leave Das Boot at home for dramatic effect. Ty is right behind the Fox brothers, and all are totally psyched to put on their new shirts.
The boys talk about Halo 3 while I take BBB out to pee and Donna gets changed.
After I have B Thrice locked up in his room and listening to cla.s.sical music, I hear Donna calling my name so I walk upstairs and into her bedroom.
She has a frickin" king-size bed even though she is thin and single. It is very kick-a.s.s. When I enter, she"s checking her makeup in the mirror and wearing her fitted camo tee with a black skirt and knee-high leather boots with blocky two-inch heels.
"Sit," she says to me, so I sit on the edge of her bed. "Those boys downstairs, would they be doing what we are about to do tonight if you weren"t around to lead them?"
I shrug. My heart is beating like mad.
Donna looks me in the eye. She is a G.o.ddess.
"They wouldn"t be doing anything tonight if they didn"t know you. They"d be playing video games or jerking off or doing whatever teenage boys do when left to their own devices."
I don"t know what to say, so I say nothing.
"I see something in you that I like very much, Amber. You"re not like most people. You are going to do something very special with your life. You"re going to do something very special tonight, because it"s what you were born to do."
I almost c.r.a.p myself, and I can feel myself shaking a little.
"Here"s a little secret between old friends," Donna says, and then bends down to whisper into my ear. "Most people-even adults, even grown men-are like teenage boys, only they pretend they are not." Donna stands up and winks at me. "People like you and me need to tell them what to do, so that the world won"t get too messed up. They want you to give them instructions. They need you to do this. And you know what needs to be done, because you have a good heart-and you have courage. I"ve seen your good heart at work time and time again over the years. You"re all good. One hundred percent. So trust your instincts, and speak your mind tonight. Be brave. Those boys look up to you. You"re the shepherd. Herd the sheep. Understand?"
I nod thirty times in ten seconds and blink back a few tears, because no one really talks like this to me ever, and I think I understand what Donna is saying, because I get this feeling in my chest sometimes, and I"m not really like other people.
"Let"s do this," Donna says, and I follow her out of the bedroom.
When we get to the living room, the boys stop talking and take in Donna"s hotness. It mutes them instantly. Donna lets them take in her presence. I study Donna, and this is one of her tricks. She waits for people to take in her hotness before she speaks-always. She is the greatest person I know, and if she weren"t an atheist, I"d say she was perfect, or maybe even G.o.d incarnate.
On the way to the school board meeting, I can tell my boys are tense. I"m in the back with Ty, Jared, and Chad-and their collective nervous quietness is freaking me out a little. Also, Donna is not rocking any music, nor is she saying anything, which is strange, because she always seems to be talking or listening to music when we drive, which is how I know she is now testing my leadership abilities. Ricky is quietly counting the streetlights we pa.s.s-oblivious.
I start to wonder if my boys need a pep talk, so I say, "How does everyone feel?"
"Cool," Ty says.
Jared and Chad nod. Chad is sitting on his brother"s lap.
"Did you memorize the speeches?" I ask.
"Yeah," Chad says.
"Can we nail them tonight?" I ask.
"No worries," Jared says.
"This is Franks" livelihood we"re talking about. If Franks gets canned, no Halo 3 next year," I say.
"Yeah," Ty says, "we get that."
"And Franks" six kids," I add. "Think of them tonight. We don"t want them living on the streets, right? Use them as motivation. Picture them in your mind."
"We got it," Jared says.
"Have we ever let you down before?" Chad asks.
They aren"t nervous at all, maybe because they are teenage boys and therefore do not know how much is at stake. None of them has ever been homeless either. None of them has ever missed a meal. Their lawyer and banker fathers are around to provide houses and clothes and food and all the other good stuff. These boys don"t understand what I understand.
Following my own advice, I think about Franks" redheaded kids as we park, and my chest starts to burn-my eyes start to water.
"Leave your coats in the car, boys," Donna says. "I want everyone to see your shirts."
We take off our coats, get Chad into the babypack on Jared"s back, and then Donna says, "We bust in. I make a brief introduction, and then you boys follow Amber"s lead. Understood?"
My boys nod. They understand.
"Ready to start filming?" Donna says.
"Wait," I say. "We should pray first. Before we go in."
"If you must," Donna says, and then walks toward the door, Ricky following his mother, because Ricky is also an atheist, just like his mom.
We are all shivering in our T-shirts, because it is cold out, but we are also geared up for the mission.
Chad, Ty, and Jared don"t really dig on JC as much as I do, but they all believe in G.o.d, so they bow their heads and close their eyes as I grab Ty"s and Jared"s hands, and say, "Dear G.o.d, we are gathered here tonight for a good cause. Franks" job is on the line. We believe that CPHS needs Franks, that he does much more good than harm in that building, which is cool and important. If our cause be just, give us the strength to use the talents with which you have already blessed us. Help us rock the worlds of those board members. Peace out, G.o.d. And peace be with you."
We all drop hands and open eyes.
"Ready?" I ask.
"h.e.l.l, yeah!" Chad says from behind his brother"s head.
We walk toward Donna, who has the video camera out and recording now, which makes me realize that she videoed my prayer. I"m not sure I like her videoing my prayer, but I don"t say anything about that.
Donna says, "Introduce yourself, boys."
"Chad Fox, aka the Desert Fox, ready and willin" and chillin"."
"Ty Hendrix. Tower of Power even if I am only five-ten."
"Jared Fox. Just Jared."
"My name is Ricky Roberts. The macking mathematician," Ricky says, which makes me smile because I made up that name for Ricky.
"Amber Appleton. Just a girl with G.o.d on her side."
Donna holds the video camera at arms length and films herself saying, "Donna Roberts, attorney at law. We"re at the Childress Public High School board meeting. The time is 7:46 PM Tuesday, January 27, 2009. The rest will be self-explanatory."
Keeping the camera on herself, Donna walks into the converted-into-offices house next to the elementary school, and into the boardroom where the school board meets.
There are community members and one or two local reporters seated in folding chairs; Prince Tony is in the front row with a few other administrators, and the school board is seated behind this long table front and center. Pretty standard adult stuff abounds.
We"re all in camo, hunter orange letters proclaiming who we are quite loudly. But wearing a three-piece suit that actually has a pocket watch chain draped like an evil gold smile across the man"s belly, as if he is stepping out of some old corny movie about waiting for trains to show up, Mr. Pinkston stands, removes his pocket watch from his vest, and-while reading the time-he says, "Who are you and what the h.e.l.l do you think you are doing?"
Donna just stands there in front of Mr. Pinkston, front and center, wearing camo, filming herself, confidently letting all present take in her hotness.
"Sit," Donna says, as if she were talking to Bobby Big Boy.
Amazingly, Mr. Pinkston looks up, surprised, and then sits.
The room is dead quiet.
"Ms. Roberts," Prince Tony says in a calm, soothing voice. "What"s going on here? We don"t allow these meetings to be videotaped. Surely you can understand why."
Donna completely ignores Prince Tony and addresses the room. "Boys and ladies. I"m with Roberts, Bradley, and Wong. If you haven"t heard of our law firm, I guarantee your lawyers have, and those boys will want to know what has been said tonight, so take notes. It"s come to our attention that you are considering cutting funding for Mr. Jonathan Franks" marketing cla.s.ses. I"ll be representing Mr. Franks and all five of the students who will be speaking tonight. All pro bono, for as long as it takes. You need to know two things before we begin. One. Roberts, Bradley, and Wong. That"s not alphabetical order. Two. Name one. The one in charge. Roberts. That"s me. Amber?"
Donna starts filming me.
I"m in total frickin" awe.