"h.e.l.l," Bree deadpanned as I stretched my legs behind me to get an idea of the diameter of the circle I lay on. I"d barely extended my legs fully when the toes of my boots dropped off the edge, so not quite five feet across. I flattened myself all the way, inched forward as far as I dared, and reached my arms down, searching for a floor, or anything, beneath, but my hands only swung in the air. So I was on a circular platform, at least a few feet off the ground, but probably more.
"How high up?" I asked as I pushed myself to my feet and gingerly rose to stand. I had to stretch my arms out as a sense of vertigo waved over me.
"Don"t know," Stacey replied.
"Higher than us," said her friend, Debbie. I gasped at her voice, not realizing she was here, too. "Baby Cakes and I are down here."
"All y"all are higher than us," a new voice, with a Southern tw.a.n.g, added. It came from the opposite side of my platform than where Bree, Stacey, Debbie, and Baby Cakes seemed to be, and somewhat below. "But we have no inklin" of just how high."
I blinked again, then squinted, but nothing came into focus. "Lisa? Is that you? Are all the faeries here?"
"Me and Jessica are over here," said the faerie I remembered from Tennessee with the blue hair. Jessica was her sister. They"d been the ones who"d given us Sasha, and also who"d demanded I capture Kali"s soul after they supposedly kept an eye on Owen for me. I had a feeling they"d kept certain other body parts on Owen, and they"d still lost him. But they"d also helped us during Tristan"s trial, so I didn"t completely dislike the sisters. "And yeah, all of us who have ever helped the Amadis or the Angels are here. Other creatures, too. Some have been stuck here for centuries and millennia!"
"Stacey told me about the fae, and I saw ..." I trailed off, my throat going dry at the memory of Bree being captured. "You"ve been here this long?"
"We have no way to escape," Bree said.
"Did they ..." I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "Did they cut off your wings?"
Several sounds of horror echoed across the s.p.a.ce.
"No! But the bars are iron," Stacey replied as though that were obvious.
"We"re allergic to iron," Jessica quickly added.
"What bars?" I asked. "I don"t have any. Just empty air surrounds me, I think."
Stacey let out a peep of excitement. "And you have wings!"
My eyes burned with fresh tears. "No. They"re gone. Someone cut them off. With h.e.l.lfire, I a.s.sume."
All of the faeries, including many who I hadn"t heard until now, gasped or whimpered, feeling my pain.
"Then we must be pretty high up," Bree concluded with resignation. "He wouldn"t make it easy for you to escape."
"I don"t reckon you try to jump to find out." Lisa may have intended to lighten the mood with snark, but only sadness filled her voice as it carried up to me.
A loud sound like thunder suddenly clapped and rumbled around us. The faeries squeaked, and I jumped back. I hadn"t realized how close to the edge I was until the heel of my boot found no support. I held my breath as the edge under my foot crumbled away, and I strained to listen, but never heard the pieces land on anything below. I didn"t know if that truly meant anything-if it gave an indication of just how far I"d fall or if it was only an illusion-but I wasn"t about to take any chances.
I shuffled forward, kneeled down in what I hoped was the middle of my platform and opened my mind, trying again to find any mind signatures. Instead, only the misery and pain of eternal suffering filled my brain. I had no idea if Tristan, Dorian, or Lucas was anywhere nearby or even alive.
"I can"t find Tristan," I told the faeries, in case they cared. In case they hoped as much as I did that he was going to save us.
"Did you try your stone?" Bree asked.
"Oh!" I slipped my hand under my leather vest and pressed my fingers to the stone implanted in my skin, over my heart. It immediately warmed. "I feel him, but I don"t know where."
"Maybe he"ll feel you." A hint of hope laced Bree"s words.
Another thunderous sound, and then the floor beneath me began shaking and moving.
I sprawled forward, grasping the rim of the platform with my hands and trying to gain purchase with my toes, but the edges crumbled away as though I"d been on sand the whole time. My heart jumped into my throat and my stomach disappeared with the sensation of falling.
"Bree!" I yelled.
"What"s happening?" she called back, her voice growing distant as I fell away from her and the rest of the faeries.
The platform continued disintegrating as I plummeted, forcing me back to my knees, and then crouching on the b.a.l.l.s of my feet. Then it was completely gone, and I was falling with no wings to save me. My heart tried to fly out of my mouth as I screamed again.
But only a moment later, I landed with a hard thud on rocky ground.
I"d barely pushed myself to a half-crouch when the p.r.i.c.kly feeling of something huge falling toward me shot a shiver down my spine. I dropped to my knees and covered my head. Something large shook the ground all around me as a loud clanging sound rang through the air, echoing off of distant walls. And bright light suddenly flooded over me, easily piercing through the cracks of my arms and hands that covered my face.
I peeked through. Vertical lines as thick as pine-tree trunks surrounded me, blocking some of the light. Where was I? It almost looked like the fiery pit in the valley, surrounded by trees. I slowly lifted my head and blinked. The light wasn"t really painfully bright, but had only seemed that way after so long in pure darkness. My eyes quickly adjusted. No, not outside. Not on Earth at all.
Still in h.e.l.l. Locked in a cell.
The iron bars surrounded me in a circle about six feet across, and a roof was overhead. The lake of fire glowed in the near distance, silhouetting a figure standing about ten yards away by a stone table. And lying perfectly still on the dais, as though dead, was my son.
"Dorian," I whispered as I ran for the bars. The skin of my palms sizzled as soon as I wrapped my hands around them, as though the bars were coated in acid. I jerked back and tried shaking off the burn while reaching out for my son"s mind. Dorian.
His signature remained blank, but at least its current flowed in my mind and hadn"t been snuffed out completely. The figure beside him, of course, was Lucas, tugging at his white goatee with one hand while studying me with icy eyes. I reached out for Tristan"s mind signature, but didn"t find it. The stone in my chest remained warm, though, so he must have been nearby. Hopefully waiting for the opportunity to rescue us.
Lucas sauntered a few feet closer to me, holding a dagger about ten inches long and twirling its point against his fingertip. "I thought you might want to watch. But you"re not the only one."
He did a weird little dance backward as a horrendous sound clamored through the cavern. I dropped to my knees and covered my ears, hoping the cell"s roof would hold against whatever fell from above. The crashing sound of metal on stone sounded several feet away from me, but when I looked, I could see nothing.
But I felt him.
Tristan!
"Alexis." His lovely mental voice came with a silent sigh of relief. But then alarm filled him as he saw Dorian on the stone dais.
"Now that you two are taken care of, it really is time," Lucas said as he swaggered over to Dorian, to the far side of the table so I could easily see him. His eyes held mine as he lifted the knife over Dorian"s chest.
I couldn"t breathe. I couldn"t hear anything but my heart pounding against my ribs, or see anything but my little boy, so vulnerable. Caught up in a world and a situation that was no fault of his own, yet here he was, about to die for it. He didn"t look like my little boy anymore, his large body practically grown up as it was, but he would always be my baby. And I couldn"t lose him.
Lucas"s hand plunged.
"No!" I yelled, and the knife stilled, only an inch above Dorian"s body. "Take me instead."
Lucas c.o.c.ked his head to the side and lifted a brow. "You would do that? Sacrifice yourself for this man-child who belongs to me now? Who means nothing to the Amadis or the world above?"
I swallowed hard, trying to loosen the lump in my throat. Although he stared at me curiously, waiting for an answer, it probably didn"t matter to Lucas what it was. He believed Dorian to be our youngest, which apparently meant his blood would open Earth to Satan. Perhaps letting Lucas proceed would have been the easiest and most obvious decision that would save the world. But what would he do when Dorian"s blood didn"t work? He"d never let me out of here alive anyway. And I couldn"t let my son die, especially in vain.
But my life aside, could I let these babies I carried die in his place? They were also my children. Either way, I"d be sacrificing one of my own, perhaps two. How could a mother make such a decision?
"Alexis, no! You"re doing it again." Anger and fear shook Tristan"s voice. "You"re jumping without thinking."
But that was the thing I realized in that moment I saw the knife moving toward my son"s heart. What became clearer now. Blurting out my self-sacrifice wasn"t my first impulsive move of the night. The moment I dove into the fiery pit after Dorian was.
The moment I"d chosen faith over logic.
And wasn"t that what I"d done all those times before? I"d hurled myself into some dangerous situations without thinking of the consequences, but I"d always done them because I thought they were the right things to do at the time. And I believed G.o.d protected the right thing, even if we didn"t agree with the outcomes. He knew best. Every time I"d jumped in, I"d believed in G.o.d"s will.
Just as I did now.
Because letting my son die for no reason was not the right thing to do. I was no G.o.d, and he was no Jesus. Dorian"s sacrifice already broke the curse, but his death would not save humanity nor the Amadis or the Daemoni. I thought of the Normans and my people fighting in the Earthly realm, and my heart swelled to near bursting with love for them. For my family, my friends, for those I"d never met. Even for the Daemoni, because I knew deep down that their souls couldn"t all be d.a.m.ned. Many could still be saved, even those who"d been born and entrenched in evil. We"d seen that ourselves in the Conversion Center at The Loft with people like Molita. But this ... what was happening right now ... No good could come from Dorian"s death.
Perhaps throwing these babies under the knife wasn"t the right thing to do, either, and putting us in Dorian"s place was probably the most illogical decision I would ever make. More absurd than leading my people and the Normans into that battle, that"s for sure. But that"s what all of this was about. What would save the world. What they"d been telling me to do all along.
Choosing faith over logic. Depending on what I saw with my eyes less, and following what I felt in my heart and soul more.
Feeling this truth made the decision easy.
"Yes," I finally answered Lucas, ready to spew the words that would convince him to take me and release Dorian. But before I could tell him that Dorian was not our youngest, I was already on the table, face up. Magical, invisible bindings dug into my skin as they held me in place against the cold stone, my arms pinned against my sides and my legs tightly bound together. Only my head could move.
"NO!" Tristan"s voice boomed across the s.p.a.cious cavern, shaking the ground and everything else.
Pieces of dust fell from above, into my eyes and mouth. I sputtered them out and turned my head to see him. He banged his fists against the bars of his cell that was just like mine, producing a deafening racket. Next to him, in the cell I"d just occupied, was our son, his body lying on the ground, still motionless.
Trust me, Tristan, I said, but didn"t know if he heard me over the clamor he created.
"You are no different than me." Lucas"s ice-cold voice came from my other side, and I rolled my head on the hard stone table to look him in the eye.
"I"m nothing like you."
"Of course, you are. You sacrifice all of humanity for something that is important only to you. For someone important only to you."
I narrowed my eyes. "You sacrifice your own flesh and blood, your daughters and grandson, for your own benefit."
The side of his mouth lifted in a sneer as his eyes flitted to my abdomen. "Isn"t that what you do, too?"
My nostrils flared, but I didn"t respond.
"You"re so predictable." He scratched his temple with the tip of the knife before casually pointing it at my face. "You fell for my bait so easily. I knew you"d be stupid enough to come after Dorian. Selfish enough to give up all of humanity to save one boy." He grinned when my eyes widened. "Oh, yes, I knew of the life you carry inside you. That you were the one I needed, after all. The boy was nothing but a decoy. You"ve made this so easy."
Tristan growled and rumbled and made all kinds of noise as he seemed to be trying to break through the bars.
Lucas glanced Tristan"s way and rolled his eyes before bringing them back to me. "You should have come to my side when you had the chance, and none of this would be happening. You, Seth, your boy ..." He twirled his wrist, swishing the point of the knife in the air as a gesture toward each of them. "All of you could have been together, pleasuring yourself with everything you"ve ever wanted. With me, you could have had it all. And look at you now. Don"t you wish you would have embraced my offer?"
As he intended, his words brought my Ang"dora freshly to mind, with its vision of the mountains and the valley and the lake. And the one tree, half of it covered in sparkling ice and half of it blooming with golden leaves. Half of the landscape frozen and dead, like h.e.l.l, like Lucas, who"d been beckoning me with those same empty promises. The other half warm, soft, and summery, where Mom and Rina proposed love, life, and goodness.
He snorted, as though I"d made a profound mistake. But I"d known what I was doing then, just as I did now.
"Never," I whispered through clenched teeth. "Never you."
"Oh, really? Are you sure about that?" he taunted. "I"ve heard rumors that Katerina and ... others ... believed you to be a better leader for this final battle. That you would do what was right for the world." He traced the tip of the knife over my jawline, and I tensed my muscles, refusing to flinch. "But they were wrong, weren"t they? You don"t have it in you to choose the greater good over your own flesh and blood. Because you"re too much like me."
I glared up at him, looking him in the eye again while I let out a humorless chuckle. "What you don"t get, you unwitting a.s.shole, is there doesn"t have to be a choice. That"s why I"m here and not anyone else."
He straightened up, bemus.e.m.e.nt and anger flashing in his eyes. Both hands closed over the hilt of the long knife, and he raised his fists above my chest. A warm tingling ran across my shoulders and down my back. Without breaking the lock of our eyes, I proffered a small smile.
"I"m nothing like you, you arrogant f.u.c.k. And do you know why? Do you know what sets us worlds apart? You do everything for greed and power. For control and everything evil. I do it for my family, yes, but also for my people, for humanity, and even for your people. Because I do it for love. I always have and always will. Choose. LOVE!"
His eyes tightened and clouded over with more confusion than ever. But after a moment, they cleared, and he let out a nefarious laugh. And when the knife plunged this time, I simply closed my eyes.
G.o.d, I trust you.
Chapter 29.
My muscles froze, and my heart stopped its frantic pounding-stopped beating altogether as Alexis shared with her mind what she felt in her heart before she"d said the words aloud. My fists dropped to my sides, no longer banging and pulling at the iron bars that refused to budge. I stared at the girl, at the woman, at my woman, bound to the dais in front of h.e.l.l"s lake of fire, the dagger hovering above her heart, held by her own father"s fists. My jaw slackened with wonder and awe and a whole dynamic of surprising emotions.
Because everything I thought I knew about the world, about life, about Heaven and h.e.l.l and everything in between, turned upside down at that very moment.
In my hundreds of years of roaming the Earth as a Daemoni warrior, I thought I"d learned all there was to learn. I thought I"d experienced everything I"d ever need to. And then I realized that there was more, a different view, a different perspective of life and the world. A different way of living that I wanted. So I converted to the Amadis. For years, I experienced more, learned more, until I reached the point where I truly believed nothing could surprise me, let alone teach me.
Then came this girl. This woman. My woman. And every time I turned around, she surprised me. She taught me lessons I"d never realized I needed to know.
Most of all, she taught me love.
Only because of her did I know the joy and pain of love. I knew how to love, what it felt like to be loved. The love of a soul mate, of a child, of family and friends.
But one lesson hadn"t been learned yet.
The one lesson she taught me now.
The real meaning and power of love.
Guilt for my past actions did not equate to love. Constantly trying to right all the wrongs I"d done in the past had nothing to do with love. Doing the right things for the wrong reasons was not only irrelevant to love, but spat in its face. Those were all about me.
Love was this. This girl. This woman. This beautiful creature displaying love in all its powerful glory. Showing her faith through her love for not only me, our children, our family and friends, and our people, but for everyone-good, evil, and everything between. And showing her love through her faith.
Because they belonged together, love and faith.
All this time we"d been fighting each other, her following her heart and me following my soul. Her believing in love and me in faith. And neither of us was wrong. Neither of us was right. We"d needed to bring those two powers together.
And my girl, my woman, my wife, was doing it.
Her voice rose with her conviction as she glared at Lucas. "I do it for love. I always have and always will choose LOVE!"