He rocked backward on his heels and crossed his own arms. His eyes narrowed. "Fine. You want to know what I felt? I felt hatred, Alexis. Murderous hatred."
I sucked in a breath, more at his icy tone than his words. Very slowly, I exhaled and tried to relax my shoulders. I already knew this; I"d seen the anger in his mind that night. "Okay. Well, the Daemoni were there. Of course you did. Why is that such a big deal?"
He spun away from me, and his arms flew out with exasperation, one hand barely missing my jaw. He let out a groan and grabbed his hair in his fists. He turned back to me with a peculiar wildness in his eyes. I didn"t understand the problem. Did he really think I"d judge him for hating our enemy? I mean, sure, Amadis weren"t supposed to hate, but I really doubted he felt true hatred. He was beyond that. We both might feel intense anger and extreme dislike to the point that it could almost be hatred, especially during a fight, except ... he wasn"t fighting ...
"Not toward them!" he roared. "Toward you! I hated you."
I involuntarily stepped backward, my b.u.t.t hitting the granite counter, and stared at him with eyes wide enough I thought they might burst from their sockets. My lungs felt as though all the air had been sucked out of them.
"Me? You ... hate ..." I stammered. Then I shook my head and even chuckled, though the sound came out more like a cat choking on a hairball. "Of course not. It was the monster. The monster is back, Tristan. That"s how you"d felt when we first met, remember?"
He put his hands low on his hips. "It"s not the same. It"s not the same beast. It"s worse."
I reached out for his arm. He took a step away from me, as if afraid of my touch. "Why do you keep saying it"s worse? Because it"s really you? You ... hate me?"
"No, Alexis! Of course not. But don"t you get it? Something else made me feel hatred toward you. Made me see you with different eyes. Something external, and I couldn"t control it. Not like the beast. That was inside of me-" he pounded his chest with a fist "-where I could restrain it. This ... this was different. And extremely dangerous."
My mind went over the scene in South Beach. "But you did control it. You fought it. I could see it on your face."
"I was resisting the urge to join in the fight-to attack you myself."
"But you beat it."
"And it was nearly impossible!" His voice had risen again. He caught himself and lowered it. "They"re using dark magic, Lex. Very strong dark magic that gave me this overwhelming desire to hurt you. To kill you."
"Wait. They"re not ... I mean ..." I stammered as I processed the meaning of his words. "What you"re saying ... they"re controlling you?"
Hard hazel eyes glared at me for a long moment, before he said, "Yes. They were that night."
"No," I whispered, shaking my head in denial. "It ... They can"t ..."
"They have."
Some kind of maniacal laugh escaped my throat, but I really wanted to scream. To cry. To punch something.
"Why?" I asked, my voice shaking as I tried to fight the anger from overwhelming me. "Why can"t they leave you alone? Are we going to have to deal with this s.h.i.t the rest of our lives?"
Now my voice had risen, approaching the scream I tried so hard to hold back. Tristan didn"t answer me, but his expression said it all. Of course, they"d try everything possible to get their warrior back. Why did this even surprise me?
I inhaled a few deep, cleansing breaths, trying to calm myself. I pushed off the counter and paced the kitchen a few times.
"How exactly?" I finally demanded, sharper than I intended.
"We"re talking dark magic. They have all kinds of weapons they could use, but my guess is a mage must have created some kind of connection to me. An extremely powerful mage to be able to wield this kind of dark magic."
I stopped pacing and turned toward him.
"Kali?" I asked. She certainly had motivation. And if it was her, I had no problem following through for the faeries. They were right-I"d want to satisfy their request just as much for me and the Amadis as for them.
"Possibly, but she"s not their only sorceress."
"Well," I said, squaring my shoulders, "then we find out and go after them."
He grimaced. "And there you go again, acting before you think."
I scowled. "What does that mean?"
"You"re reckless, Lex. You see someone who needs rescued, and you charge like a bull. Only by luck are we and anyone else you get involved even alive."
I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling defensive. "Not luck. Might. And power." Remembering Ca.s.sandra"s words, I added, "And I do it for the greater good!"
He stepped over to stand in front of me, his eyes paralyzing me with their intensity as he placed his hands on my shoulders.
"Listen to me, just this once, Alexis. Do it for the greater good, because if you"re dead, so are a h.e.l.l of a lot of people." He waited for me to acknowledge my understanding, so I nodded. "If we go out there, only the two of us, they can take control of me again. And now that they know how close I was to breaking, they"ll be able to overcome me next time. And you know who my first target will be."
I cleared my throat. "Me."
"Right. Eliminate my weakness. So you cannot be as reckless as you"ve been anymore. Understand?"
I pressed my lips together and nodded, knowing that would appease him. But somehow, I had to figure out a way to cut their connection with my husband. Again.
He pulled me into his arms, and I leaned my head against his chest, glad our fight was over and that he had told me the truth.
"It seemed as if they were waiting for us, didn"t it?" I asked, relieved to finally be able to talk about that night. This had been bugging me for nearly two weeks. "As if they knew we were coming?"
"They"ve likely been waiting for us for some time. They surely know by now that we need the pendant, and we"ll come after it."
"And Vanessa"s totally been taunting us. She played hard to get in South Beach. Sonya said she"d been in Fort Myers Beach the night before we were there and might still have been. She toyed with us on the Greek island. But any other time, our people can"t find a trace of her anywhere, as if she disappears from the face of the earth."
Tristan hummed in agreement. "She loves her games."
"c.r.a.p, Tristan. That has been her game, hasn"t it?" I pulled back enough to look up at him. "Tease us with the pendant so we"ll chase after it, while the mages are in the background figuring out how to connect with you. How are we ever going to get the pendant if we can"t go near them?"
"We hope Owen decides to come back, or that Sophia finds you another protector."
"I don"t want another protector." I frowned. "I want Owen or you. Other than you two, who else can protect me better than myself?"
He narrowed his eyes, but a small smile played on his lips. "That"s the kind of thought a reckless and c.o.c.ky warrior would have, Lex."
"Sorry, but it"s true," I said with a shrug. I leaned back against him. "I still don"t get why you kept this from me. Did you really think I"d believe you hated me?"
He pressed his lips to the top of my head. "I couldn"t control myself, ma lykita. You could have died, and I would have stood there like an idiot, maybe even helped. How am I supposed to live with that? How was I supposed to tell you that without losing your love and trust?"
I looked up at him and lifted my hand to his face. I brushed my fingers across his cheekbone. "You should know me better by now. It will take a lot more than Daemoni magic to make me stop loving you."
"Unless that magic kills you. You can"t love me after you"re dead."
"Wanna bet?" I asked as I leaned up on my toes to press my lips against his. "Death will not part us. You won"t get off the hook that easily."
He tightened his hold on me and kissed me. "Let"s not find out any time soon, okay? Don"t go off and do anything stupid."
Making no promises, I shut him up with a long, deep kiss accompanied by roaming hands and his hardness growing between us.
"My eyes! My eyes!" Dorian yelled from the kitchen doorway, and we broke our embrace with alarm.
Chapter 11.
My heart resumed beating when it became immediately obvious that Dorian was fine. Physically anyway.
"Ew! That"s so nasty," he said, wrinkling his nose at us.
Tristan smiled. "Kissing your mom? I have to disagree." He pulled me back into his arms.
"Gross, Dad!" Dorian covered his eyes and made gagging sounds. "Don"t ever do that in front of me again."
Tristan and I shared a grin and reluctantly let go of each other.
"So, Aikido today?" Tristan asked, focusing on our son.
"Sure," Dorian said as he took out a bowl and a box of cereal. "Are you coming, too, Mom?"
I thought about what needed to be done at the safe house. With no new guests yet, there really wasn"t much. I wanted to paint the reading alcove in our own home, but Blossom was busy today, and I definitely needed her (magical) help after our last painting disaster. And I could use a good workout-I"d been pretty lazy since the fight in Miami.
"I"m in," I said.
"Do we get to spar, Dad? Can I spar you?" The enthusiasm in Dorian"s voice held an edge to it, as if he wanted a little revenge on Tristan for kissing his mom.
"You need to beat your mom first," Tristan said.
Dorian groaned. "She"s too hard to beat! I wish Uncle Owen was here. I bet I can beat him now."
He dove into his usual questions about Owen-where was he, why hadn"t he been around, etc. At least it wasn"t his other favorite subject: the unmet promise of going to Universal Studios. He"d been as persistent about it as he"d once been about getting a dog, but after what we saw in South Beach, we weren"t about to take him off-island yet. We"d only be able to put him off for so long, however, before having to tell him a flat-out "No."
When you know your days with your son are numbered, though, the last thing you want to do is disappoint him.
"We"ve looked into the situation at South Beach," Mom said on a conference call between her, Rina, a few council members, and Tristan and me. This was our last meeting before the Christmas holidays, barring any emergencies, which were becoming such a norm we"d soon have to change the definition of what const.i.tuted an emergency.
Tristan and I sat side-by-side in what had once been a formal dining room that we"d converted into a conference room, with a polished cherry-wood table, six black leather executive chairs, all kinds of outlets for laptops and other technology, and a conference-call pod positioned between Tristan and me. Thanks to Tristan, we probably had the most technologically advanced safe house in the Amadis. If he had his way, he"d have gone to the others to outfit them like ours, and we"d be holding a videoconference right now, rather than the outdated telephone one. Everyone else on the call was either on the Amadis Island or in their home offices around the world.
"It"s bad, isn"t it?" I said, leaning closer to the pod. "I can"t believe they"ve overtaken such a populated area, and the Normans are oblivious to it."
"Well ... that"s the thing," Mom said cryptically. "Galina, would you like to explain, since you"re the mage overseeing this?"
I pictured the silver-haired female warlock who"d earned my trust during last year"s trial when she defended us against those controlled by Kali. Her Russian accent was barely noticeable when her voice came on the line.
"Yes, of course," she said. "Alexis, we have sent a team of mages to investigate your report and found the Miami Beach area to be heavily populated with Daemoni, including newly turned, but we did not find it under siege as you and Tristan described. The situation there isn"t even as bad as Key West."
Tristan and I exchanged a look.
"Your team must have seen what the Daemoni wanted them to," Tristan said.
Galina cleared her throat. "Actually, we believe you two saw what they wanted you to. You have reversed what they actually did. What you thought was reality was their projection, while what you believed to be their projection was reality."
"You think the sudden appearance of traffic, people, and sounds was reality breaking through their image?" I asked.
"Yes," Galina confirmed. "They wanted you to believe they had captured South Beach. The situation is not good, but it isn"t as bad as you were made to believe."
"And how do you know that for sure?" I asked, doubting their theory. The empty streets, the vacant buildings ... that all seemed so real, while the thriving city simply didn"t. "Wouldn"t I have heard something in their thoughts? Sensed the people around us?"
"It takes powerful magic to accomplish what they did, but it is possible. My team sensed heavy levels of dark magic, still strong even days after your incident. Which would explain, also, how they could protect the truth from your telepathy."
"The Daemoni have, how do you say?" Rina started, pausing for a moment. "Upped the ante? Is that right? They are pulling out their big arms."
"Guns," Mom corrected. "They"re pulling out their big guns."
"Right," Rina said. "This is what I mean. They are no longer holding anything back, but are using their darkest magic and most powerful weapons. We must all raise our defenses even higher. We cannot have their sorcerers gaining control of us. They will try, however. Be prepared. All of you."
Tristan and I exchanged another look. We hadn"t told them the full story of what happened at South Beach. No one else knew that Tristan hadn"t fought alongside me. Guilt had nearly led him to confess when we briefed them on the night"s events during the last conference call. He"d almost blurted it out, but I"d "accidentally" disconnected the call. I thought his behavior had been a fluke at the time and refused to give anyone a reason to doubt his loyalty again. He opened his mouth now, but I shook my head. I poised my finger over the "end" b.u.t.ton on the pod, ready to drop the call again if he said anything.
We already know what Rina said is right and the others believe her, so you don"t need to confirm it, I told him. There"s no reason to raise their suspicion of you again.
"Tristan and Alexis, any progress on finding the stone?" Mom asked.
"Vanessa"s disappeared again," I said. "I caught that one glimpse of her at South Beach, but no one"s reported any sighting or other news since. Even that night, she didn"t join the fight, but disappeared completely from my range."
None of her fellow vampires had thought once about her, either, which I found pretty weird, considering she was supposed to be leading the new nest there, according to Sonya. Maybe things had changed since Sonya had been with the Daemoni, and Vanessa wasn"t part of the South Beach nest anymore. But then why was she there? And why did she leave when she had to have known there"d be a big fight? If she knew they"d be taking control of Tristan, wouldn"t she have stayed to watch him kill me? To help him and try to make him hers? We were missing some important piece about their plan. Either that, or it was much bigger than simply eliminating me, the youngest Amadis daughter.
"Please continue your search," Rina said, and she started to add something, but broke down in a coughing fit, which eventually led to the call coming to a close. I sighed as I hit the "end" b.u.t.ton. Rina wasn"t supposed to be sick. Not anymore. The fact that her condition hadn"t improved since I"d left hurt my heart.
"I should be there with her, helping her," I said to Tristan as we sat back in the cushy chairs.
"It"d probably be safer for you," Tristan agreed.
"So should you. Maybe you can heal her."
He shook his head. "My powers won"t help her. It"s deeper than a physical illness. Besides, someone needs to stay with Dorian. I"m sure they won"t allow him back on the Amadis Island."
I chewed on my lip. "Rina would be p.i.s.sed if I came to the Island. She wants me out here, helping the cause and finding the stone. "Serving my purpose."" I wiggled my fingers in the air to mark the quotations.